.
..
...
....
.....
"..."
"You did it again, Sylvia..." Sylvia murmured to herself, her eyes wide open as the light of the artifact Siglos brought out pounded against her eyes. She was tempted to shut them as tight as she could, tempted to let exhaustion take her and fall into a deep, peaceful rest, but... she couldn't. She knew she couldn't, knew that she didn't deserve to rest, didn't deserve to rest at his side after the things that she had done to him, the things she'd forced the fragile young man to endure.
"You nearly broke something... Again..." She muttered once more, beginning to shake. She shook her head, letting out a soft, trembling breath at her own words. She clenched her fists, her sharp, rough nails prying into the flesh of her scarred palms, causing them to bleed. "Y-You almost... You almost... ****..."
Sylvia stared up at the ceiling, blinking a few times as her eyes continued to adjust to the light of Siglos's enchanted artifact. She was in deep thought as she did this, letting out shallow, hoarse breaths. "What am I even doing anymore..."
She was a monster. She knew that. She had known since the day she'd obtained such strength that she was nothing more than a cog in a machine, a machine meant to break and destroy everything around it. A machine meant to rip, and tear, and annihilate without discrimination, a machine meant to kill without any rhyme or reason, a machine meant to kill without cause...
But... he didn't see it that way. He didn't know she was a monster. The things she'd done. The people she'd killed, the pain she'd inflicted and would come to inflict. No, perhaps he knew... But didn't care. He was to broken for that. She knew he was broken. That he was desperate for any kind of love, or positive attention. So much so he'd even ignore the fact that she was... that she was a monster.
...Sylvia looked down once more, staring at her bleeding hands as they slowly healed, the gashes she'd created sealing up. "I don't deserve it..."
This acceptance, this love. She didn't deserve it. She hadn't earned such a privilege. The privilege to be loved, or cared for by anybody. She'd accumulated to many sins, to much blood gnawed away at her heart, far to much to accept such love. She despised it, despised how much he loved her, and despised how much she craved for such love despite the fact she knew she didn't deserve it. Knew she was just a freak that shouldn't even exist to begin with.
"I don't deserve it...."
Knew that she was simply a demon that could never love or be loved, a monster who could only hate. She knew all of it, the fact had been engrained into her bone marrow over the course of decades. And yet, why, still, did she so yearn for the man's love? Why, still, did she desperately crave the affection he showed, despite the fact she knew she didn't deserve it?
"I don't deserve it...!"
Death was more suitable, yes. Death was a far more suitable fate for a horrifying, disgusting beast such as herself. No... Not even death was enough. Death would be a mercy to such a thing. She needed to be tossed into the worst pits of Gehenna, and left to rot. She deserved to be scorned, and hated by all around her.
"I don't... deserve..."
Sylvia Abel was not a human being. She was not an Everian. Not a Dragon. Not a Dwarf. Not an Orc. Not a Vaewolf. And most certainly not a Rakshashin, no...
She was simply a monster. A monster without race. A monster without need for one. For a cold, indiscriminate killer does not deserve the right to a race. No.
...They will only be scorned by those around them. And forgotten.
Sylvia did not go to sleep. She lay awake in the cave, her eyes wide, unable to fall asleep as the voices plagued her mind, as the thoughts plagued her psyche. She lay wide, wide awake. Waiting. Waiting for her body to recover, waiting for Siglos to awaken. Because someone like her did not deserve to sleep. No.
Someone like her... did not deserve anything. Anything at all.
And as such, she simply lay awake, in pain... Like she always had. And like she always, and forever, will.
