Remember the shitty "Percy is a god" fics? This excerpt takes the cake;
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"All Hail Perseus Achilles Jackson, Prince of the Seas, Second-in-line to the Throne of Atlantis, Right-Hand and Lieutenant of Poseidon, Champion of Olympus, Champion of Rome, Champion of Atlantis, Champion of Eros, Twice Saviour of Olympus, Head of Justice, Member of the Olympian Council, Bane of Kronos, Hyperion and Gaea, Praetor of the Twelfth Legion, God of Loyalty, Leadership, Bravery, Courage, BattleLines, Maps, Crystal Blue Seas, Shipwrecks, Ships, Tides, Beaches, Lakes, Rivers, Ponds, Currents, Pearls, Duals, Combat, Treaties, Love, Sex, Lust, Passion, Arousal, Desire, Pleasure, Procreation, Euphoria, Ecstasy, Harems, Bliss, Seduction, Values, Dominance, Authority, Discipline, Dedication, Justice, Law, Time, Agriculture, Instincts, Knowing, Senses, Tracking, Weapons, Hard Work, Strength, Stamina, Endurance, Detection, Trustworthiness, Fairness, Unpredictability, Determination, Resilience, Elements, Challenges, Cartography, Islands, Oaths, Training, Quests, Missions, Fighters, Warriors, and Heros. Minor God of Battles, Tropical Seas, Equals, Truth, Knowledge, and Magic! Scared Animal is a Pegasus", the Fates and Lady Ananke declare"