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Worst Fanfictions Ever (New Forum)

The book has such gems as "He turned me red like the Communist Manifesto!"
 
Yeah, I remember somebody posted some lines on YouTube I think? They're priceless.

Edit: It was;

"I feel the colour in my cheeks rising again. I must be the colour of The Communist Manifesto."
 
Last edited:
Shadow-Ragna said:
Jesus ******* Christ what kind of quotes does that book have? I am scared and curious...
Click to expand...
"His voice is warm and husky like dark melted chocolate fudge caramel... or something."

"And from a very tiny, underused part of my brain – probably located at the base of my medulla oblongata near where my subconscious dwells – comes the thought: He's here to see you."

"His lips part, like he's taking a sharp intake of breath, and he blinks. For a fraction of a second, he looks lost somehow, and the Earth shifts slightly on its axis, the tectonic plates sliding into a new position."

"He smiles, then strides with renewed purpose out of the store, slinging the plastic bag over his shoulder, leaving me a quivering mass of raging female hormones."

"I can almost hear his sphinx-like smile through the phone."

"His tone is so... so directorial, his usual control freak. I imagine him as an old-time movie director wearing jodhpurs, holding an old-fashioned megaphone and a riding crop. The image makes me laugh out loud."

"Oh my - sweat and body wash and Christian. It's a heady cocktail - so much better than a margarita, and now I can speak from experience."

"I had no idea giving pleasure could be such a turn-on, watching him writhe subtly with carnal longing. My inner goddess is doing the merengue with some salsa moves."

And many more...
 
One where people make conscious decisions with their hind brain apparently...
 
"He steps out of his Converse shoes and reaches down and takes his socks off individually. Christian Grey's feet - wow - what is it about naked feet?"

This novel has to be a shitpost...
 
Planck69 said:
"His voice is warm and husky like dark melted chocolate fudge caramel... or something."

"And from a very tiny, underused part of my brain – probably located at the base of my medulla oblongata near where my subconscious dwells – comes the thought: He's here to see you."

"His lips part, like he's taking a sharp intake of breath, and he blinks. For a fraction of a second, he looks lost somehow, and the Earth shifts slightly on its axis, the tectonic plates sliding into a new position."

"He smiles, then strides with renewed purpose out of the store, slinging the plastic bag over his shoulder, leaving me a quivering mass of raging female hormones."

"I can almost hear his sphinx-like smile through the phone."

"His tone is so... so directorial, his usual control freak. I imagine him as an old-time movie director wearing jodhpurs, holding an old-fashioned megaphone and a riding crop. The image makes me laugh out loud."

"Oh my - sweat and body wash and Christian. It's a heady cocktail - so much better than a margarita, and now I can speak from experience."

"I had no idea giving pleasure could be such a turn-on, watching him writhe subtly with carnal longing. My inner goddess is doing the merengue with some salsa moves."

And many more...
Click to expand...
The **** kind of shit is this? All of these quotes made me go wtf and laugh!
 
I feel like going for kink fics and troll fics is kinda going for low hanging fruit. Those fics were never supposed to be good, they were supposed to arouse and shock respectively.

But, what do you get when a fanfiction that set out to be good, set out to honor and add to the source, and was sponsored by the owners of the source material in question turns out to be bad? You get the flamming dumpster fire that is Hunt Down the Freeman.
 
Can we talk about the cliche word a Fanfic author always used like for example when Protag or side character near their death and their final monologue is always :”I-Is this it.... I’m sorry [insert character]” and then plot armor suddenly kicks in
 
Planck69 said:
"His voice is warm and husky like dark melted chocolate fudge caramel... or something."

"And from a very tiny, underused part of my brain – probably located at the base of my medulla oblongata near where my subconscious dwells – comes the thought: He's here to see you."

"His lips part, like he's taking a sharp intake of breath, and he blinks. For a fraction of a second, he looks lost somehow, and the Earth shifts slightly on its axis, the tectonic plates sliding into a new position."

"He smiles, then strides with renewed purpose out of the store, slinging the plastic bag over his shoulder, leaving me a quivering mass of raging female hormones."

"I can almost hear his sphinx-like smile through the phone."

"His tone is so... so directorial, his usual control freak. I imagine him as an old-time movie director wearing jodhpurs, holding an old-fashioned megaphone and a riding crop. The image makes me laugh out loud."

"Oh my - sweat and body wash and Christian. It's a heady cocktail - so much better than a margarita, and now I can speak from experience."

"I had no idea giving pleasure could be such a turn-on, watching him writhe subtly with carnal longing. My inner goddess is doing the merengue with some salsa moves."

And many more...
Click to expand...
Top ten things that can scare Azathoth leaked.
 
zndrmme0miv61.png

This meme is hilarious
 
Also I'm shedding tears fellas, we're seeing remnants of Dies Irae being High 1-A instead of 1-B.
which means that Featherine would 100% shatter the pelvis of Y/N if they had intercourse
 
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