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Douchebag genie: Screw over peoples wishes

I wish people would stop ******** on the wiki in its entirety when they see something wrong or have a bad encounter with members.
 
But you turn me into a potato that not altering the wish in a way that corrupts the wish in a way that makes it fail in reaching the end goal.
giphy.gif
 

Because I can't find any ungranted wishes, I will interpret "Change da world... My final message... Goodbye" as a wish.

I move my chair a few centimeters. With the movement of my chair, the world has now been VERY slightly changed. Wish granted.

I wish for a stew made from the potato in @azontr 's avatar, & the meat of the creature in @Livinmeme , with a side fish of the fish in @Lou_change 's avatar.
 
I wish that everyone prior in this thread who wished for superpowers would get them stolen by Sheldon Dinkleberg &/or Gary Oak, who would viciously mock their victims at every opportunity.
Granted; however, the powers are too great for Dinkleberg and Gary to handle, so they instead up dying before they can belittle us.
I wish people would stop ******** on the wiki in its entirety when they see something wrong or have a bad encounter with members.
Granted; however, the Wiki does become as bad as people perceive it to be, giving people a legitimate reason to hate the wiki.
I wish I could create anything like life, matter, laws, concepts, etc.
Granted; however, none of your creations affect the real world.
I wish you actually twisted the wishes.
Granted; however, they are twisted in a way that involves potatoes.
I wish for a stew made from the potato in @azontr 's avatar, & the meat of the creature in @Livinmeme , with a side fish of the fish in @Lou_change 's avatar.
Granted; however, you and the stew will be trapped outside of space-time. You will forced to starve for eternity, chasing after a stew that you can never catch—a stew that taunts you. Its aroma, its warmth, and the mere thought of eating for once lure you in, but you can never have the stew.
 
Will you eat the googly eyes?
Of course not. I wouldn't trust any food from genies in this thread, & I never planned on eating the food at all, lol. (Plus, I personally might not count the googly eyes as part of the potato, & I'm no chef, but most don't consider googly eyes ingredients, nor edible, AFAIK.)
Granted; however, the powers are too great for Dinkleberg and Gary to handle, so they instead up dying before they can belittle us.
Sad for Dinkleberg & Gary, great for everyone else!
Most of the superpowers granted by these genies aren't something you'd want, I'd think. (Note to self: Detail the Powers & Abilities, Weaknesses, & maybe Tiers of people here, based upon their wishes & granted wishes, at least, for those unopposed to being analyzed as such.)
Granted; however, you and the stew will be trapped outside of space-time. You will forced to starve for eternity, chasing after a stew that you can never catch—a stew that taunts you. Its aroma, its warmth, and the mere thought of eating for once lure you in, but you can never have the stew.
....Now I'm a little conflicted on having never planned to eat the stew. I expected it to be awful. But at least I can eat the fish before I starve, lol.


I wish for a productive use that doesn't involve me to be found for the stew.
 
I wish for a productive use that doesn't involve me to be found for the stew.
Granted, but because all possible uses for the stew in reality indirectly involve you through the butterfly effect, you and all past actions you have ever taken cease to exist.

I wish I could see the full spectrum of invisible and visible light
 
Granted, but because all possible uses for the stew in reality indirectly involve you through the butterfly effect, you and all past actions you have ever taken cease to exist.

I wish I could see the full spectrum of invisible and visible light
Granted. However, all the light burns your poor Retinas, so if you don’t keep those puppies closed you’re going to go blind.

I wish All forms of Fiction were good and respectable to anyone partaking in It.
 
How do I change my profile picture to a master ball?
Go to your profile, hover over the profile picture, click "edit".
Granted. However, all the light burns your poor Retinas, so if you don’t keep those puppies closed you’re going to go blind.

I wish All forms of Fiction were good and respectable to anyone partaking in It.
Granted, but people don't know that all forms of fiction are good & respectable, & many maintain their prior prejudices, so many people still neglect good fiction. (Oops, wish granted by someone else already.)


I wish the Mew in my profile picture/avatar could not be caught by any means whatsoever.
 
I wish the Mew in my profile picture/avatar could not be caught by any means whatsoever.
Granted, but only when it’s in your Profile Picture. Since it cannot be caught, it happily leaves the picture, allowing it to be caught again until it’s placed back inside said picture.

I wish I could travel to alternate universes at Will.
 
Granted, but only when it’s in your Profile Picture. Since it cannot be caught, it happily leaves the picture, allowing it to be caught again until it’s placed back inside said picture.

I wish I could travel to alternate universes at Will.
Granted but you can only travel to alternate universes that have uninhabitable conditions for human beings.

I wish for a turkey sandwich.
 
Granted, but only when it’s in your Profile Picture. Since it cannot be caught, it happily leaves the picture, allowing it to be caught again until it’s placed back inside said picture.

I wish I could travel to alternate universes at Will.
Granted, but because you capitalized the word Will, you can only travel into other people named Will, and the displacement of matter will crush whichever if you is smaller.

I wish I could treat objects as though they were the size they appear from my perspective.
 
Granted, but because you capitalized the word Will, you can only travel into other people named Will, and the displacement of matter will crush whichever if you is smaller.
how dare you use my tendency to capitalize words for few reasons against me

I wish I could treat objects as though they were the size they appear from my perspective.
Granted. Your Perspective now always changes to look at objects at Scale instead of far-away or up-close (I.e you’d see the Statue of Liberty from a perspective that shows how big it is compared to you, and a Chess Piece how small it is compared to you, etc.)

I wish I could go Intangible for exactly 5 seconds, no less.
 
I wish I could summon at least one 5 star in FGO and Genshin impact every time I do a 10 card summon
 
I wish I could summon at least one 5 star in FGO and Genshin impact every time I do a 10 card summon
Granted. You can, but so can everyone else. To fix this, summons are limited to a max of 5 cards by the Game Developers, because free 5 Stars is a no-no.

I wish that when I die, I’d resurrect as a Ghost.
 
Granted. You can, but so can everyone else. To fix this, summons are limited to a max of 5 cards by the Game Developers, because free 5 Stars is a no-no.

I wish that when I die, I’d resurrect as a Ghost.
Granted, but as a ghost you’re permanently in the same state as when you died, experiencing all the pain and suffering for eternity, unable to even wish for it to end.

I wish my water bottle was cold.
 
Granted, but as a ghost you’re permanently in the same state as when you died, experiencing all the pain and suffering for eternity, unable to even wish for it to end.

I wish my water bottle was cold.
Granted, but instead of being cold temperature sense, it is cold in an emotional sense, distancing itself from you as much as possible, so you can never drink the water.
 
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