Be My Rimworld Pawns: Season 3

[Mr. Bambu]

• @Armorchompy got mugged for the food he just cooked by @PsychoWarper, who slapped him (Armor slapped back, neither could harm the other through their gear) and then pointed a gun at him until he left the food there, at which point Psycho ate one of the meals.
• There was a lot of power issues, so we're researching nuclear energy (since it worked so well last time...); therefore, not only is @Rakih_Elyan chained to his post in the Research Lab, so too is @Topaz404, we need this shit yesterday. Our hydroponics array cannot continue until it is researched and built and properly cooled.
• @DMUA has joined the Curse of Neverending Reequipment of his gun, since I assigned him a unique loadout with an M60. My unending rage continues.
• @Rakih_Elyan became upset because he was hungry that he decided he was going to destroy our advanced geothermal generator in retaliation, to which I, in real life, audibly said "The **** he is" towards, and ordered him arrested. That shit costs advanced components, a rare commodity as it stands, and is the only reason we can currently sustain what power we're using.
• We had a strange raid of 10000 points... a shitload of VERY heavily armed enemies, with basically no body armor. Helmets, yes, of ultratech design (like, matching @Crabwhale's stuff), and the best weapons in the game, but really shit armor/hazmat suits. So, I sent the snipers out (now including @ProbNotAFelon, solely because he snagged a sniper off the shelves immediately, a Hecate Mk II), covered by @DMUA and Crabwhale. This was mostly tolerable, however Crab died (more than once) in this, as the electric damage bypassed his armor significantly, and instead fried his brain. He got back up, of course, as something as petty as his brain and upper torso exploding from shock does not usually keep him down. Worth mentioning that @Lawiegg was dragged into the conflict because he tried to drink a bottle of beer that was left on the ground in the middle of the skirmish whilst on an alcohol binge, which I thought was a minor issue in comparison to the skirmish itself, but ostensibly not. He survived, with only a little bit of a fried brain, because unlike Crab he goes down when in pain.
• Just as we finished this major battle, about a dozen people in the colony (including some of you) got malaria and sensory mechanites, which means we're in downtime for awhile. I assume this is a result of Crab's multiple deaths; the storyteller explicitly punishes you, in an upscaling way, should anyone die. So. That sucks. Still, upside, this represents a huge bonus in terms of gear, since we have taken their weapons and trooper armor (which, while well below value of their weapons, is still nicer than the composite/flak gear we've been using)
• @Shmooply has ******' gutworms again.
• I THINK I have solved the issue with the Cursed Legion (@DMUA @Arceus0x and others). I have tried removing mods I figured would conflict for some time, in particular mods that specified what weapons you should be using; I thought they were conflicting with Combat Extended's loadout system. And then, a dream, a vision that arrived to me when I rested in my subconscious: one of the mods did not do that, but it did define a list of weapons they could or could not use. I had never adjusted or interacted with the list, and more or less just discarded it. Well it turns out, that was a bad idea. So it was just telling you guys that you could not equip the gun I gave you, while Combat Extended then sent you back to that gun, because it defined that weapon as the only one you could use. As such, this nefarious mod has been removed, and Combat Extended reigns supreme.
• @Arceus0x fed a prisoner raw meat, I think as an act of rebellion/sadism? I have them all set to getting fine meals (not lavish), and this particular prisoner has no obvious reason to not be fed at least simple, if not fine (we have ample supplies of both). They have a robust digestion, so they won't get food poisoning, but surely it just tastes bad? Unsure why that guy did that.
• In the colony, we have: sensory mechanites, malaria, plague, muscle parasites, flu, and like two other singular afflictions on @Shmooply; this is hell.
• Only just now noticed that we're recruiting a fellow, a Venator named Conovo, that @Topaz404 shot in the heart, he still has the scar on the organ itself. Less than ideal, but we'll manage.
• Speaking of @Topaz404, the second he woke up, he set fire to his own bed, in the barracks, so like twenty people sprang up to undo the flame. He then set fire to @Rakih_Elyan's bed, who was still inside of the bed. He didn't repeat this for @Tllmbrg but instead set fire to his nightstand. Satisfied, he set his own bed alight for the last time and left the barracks to commit arson against our carrots.
• A team led by @DMUA and @PsychoWarper has completed our nuclear reactor, now serving as the primary source of energy for our base of operations. An incredible 34,000W is produced here, which is an insane amount of juice for Rimworld.
• A final grim note: although other colonists of lesser note have died up to this point, it is with sorrow I announce another colonist death of some actual worthiness: @Shmooply had his head blown off in a skirmish against a squad of Deserters that drop-podded past our killbox. A single raingun coil shot that missed @Crabwhale and hit him ripped it from his neck. Sometimes you just get unlucky. I'll be sending out more groups on missions now, in the hopes of getting a resurrector mech serum. Until then, you go in the freezer.

 

[Topaz404]

There was a lot of power issues, so we're researching nuclear energy (since it worked so well last time...); therefore, not only is @Rakih_Elyan chained to his post in the Research Lab, so too is @Topaz404, we need this shit yesterday. Our hydroponics array cannot continue until it is researched and built and properly cooled.

As you should, use his big brain to your advantage

Only just now noticed that we're recruiting a fellow, a Venator named Conovo, that @Topaz404 shot in the heart, he still has the scar on the organ itself. Less than ideal, but we'll manage.

Gotteem. Simply too good at shooting

Speaking of @Topaz404, the second he woke up, he set fire to his own bed, in the barracks, so like twenty people sprang up to undo the flame. He then set fire to @Rakih_Elyan's bed, who was still inside of the bed. He didn't repeat this for @Tllmbrg but instead set fire to his nightstand. Satisfied, he set his own bed alight for the last time and left the barracks to commit arson against our carrots.

Yeah fck you Rakih, your bed is shit (i jest). Perhaps he simply found his bed too uncomfortable

 

[Arceus0x]

Shmoopy got JJKd

 

[Arceus0x]

Also still can't get over the fact that my character looks like a freaking tank compared to everyone else.
Everyone is out there with normal grey military stuff only for my character to go and join the space marines

 

[Shmooply]

Until then, you go in the freezer.

 

[PsychoWarper]

@Armorchompy got mugged for the food he just cooked by @PsychoWarper, who slapped him (Armor slapped back, neither could harm the other through their gear) and then pointed a gun at him until he left the food there, at which point Psycho ate one of the meals.

Thanks for the food Armor

 

[Crabwhale]

Also still can't get over the fact that my character looks like a freaking tank compared to everyone else.

You forgetting something, boy?

 

[Rakih_Elyan]

There was a lot of power issues, so we're researching nuclear energy (since it worked so well last time...); therefore, not only is @Rakih_Elyan chained to his post in the Research Lab, so too is @Topaz404, we need this shit yesterday. Our hydroponics array cannot continue until it is researched and built and properly cooled.

Feel my pain Topaz. The pain of researching ***** every waking hour.

@Rakih_Elyan became upset because he was hungry that he decided he was going to destroy our advanced geothermal generator in retaliation, to which I, in real life, audibly said "The **** he is" towards, and ordered him arrested. That shit costs advanced components, a rare commodity as it stands, and is the only reason we can currently sustain what power we're using.

The consequences of strapping me to research station without even feeding me.

Speaking of @Topaz404, the second he woke up, he set fire to his own bed, in the barracks, so like twenty people sprang up to undo the flame. He then set fire to @Rakih_Elyan's bed, who was still inside of the bed. He didn't repeat this for @Tllmbrg but instead set fire to his nightstand. Satisfied, he set his own bed alight for the last time and left the barracks to commit arson against our carrots.

Yeah fck you Rakih, your bed is shit (i jest). Perhaps he simply found his bed too uncomfortable

It was bedbugs you see.

 

[Lawiegg]

• @Armorchompy got mugged for the food he just cooked by @PsychoWarper, who slapped him (Armor slapped back, neither could harm the other through their gear) and then pointed a gun at him until he left the food there, at which point Psycho ate one of the meals.
• There was a lot of power issues, so we're researching nuclear energy (since it worked so well last time...); therefore, not only is @Rakih_Elyan chained to his post in the Research Lab, so too is @Topaz404, we need this shit yesterday. Our hydroponics array cannot continue until it is researched and built and properly cooled.
• @DMUA has joined the Curse of Neverending Reequipment of his gun, since I assigned him a unique loadout with an M60. My unending rage continues.
• @Rakih_Elyan became upset because he was hungry that he decided he was going to destroy our advanced geothermal generator in retaliation, to which I, in real life, audibly said "The **** he is" towards, and ordered him arrested. That shit costs advanced components, a rare commodity as it stands, and is the only reason we can currently sustain what power we're using.
• We had a strange raid of 10000 points... a shitload of VERY heavily armed enemies, with basically no body armor. Helmets, yes, of ultratech design (like, matching @Crabwhale's stuff), and the best weapons in the game, but really shit armor/hazmat suits. So, I sent the snipers out (now including @ProbNotAFelon, solely because he snagged a sniper off the shelves immediately, a Hecate Mk II), covered by @DMUA and Crabwhale. This was mostly tolerable, however Crab died (more than once) in this, as the electric damage bypassed his armor significantly, and instead fried his brain. He got back up, of course, as something as petty as his brain and upper torso exploding from shock does not usually keep him down. Worth mentioning that @Lawiegg was dragged into the conflict because he tried to drink a bottle of beer that was left on the ground in the middle of the skirmish whilst on an alcohol binge, which I thought was a minor issue in comparison to the skirmish itself, but ostensibly not. He survived, with only a little bit of a fried brain, because unlike Crab he goes down when in pain.
• Just as we finished this major battle, about a dozen people in the colony (including some of you) got malaria and sensory mechanites, which means we're in downtime for awhile. I assume this is a result of Crab's multiple deaths; the storyteller explicitly punishes you, in an upscaling way, should anyone die. So. That sucks. Still, upside, this represents a huge bonus in terms of gear, since we have taken their weapons and trooper armor (which, while well below value of their weapons, is still nicer than the composite/flak gear we've been using)
• @Shmooply has ******' gutworms again.
• I THINK I have solved the issue with the Cursed Legion (@DMUA @Arceus0x and others). I have tried removing mods I figured would conflict for some time, in particular mods that specified what weapons you should be using; I thought they were conflicting with Combat Extended's loadout system. And then, a dream, a vision that arrived to me when I rested in my subconscious: one of the mods did not do that, but it did define a list of weapons they could or could not use. I had never adjusted or interacted with the list, and more or less just discarded it. Well it turns out, that was a bad idea. So it was just telling you guys that you could not equip the gun I gave you, while Combat Extended then sent you back to that gun, because it defined that weapon as the only one you could use. As such, this nefarious mod has been removed, and Combat Extended reigns supreme.
• @Arceus0x fed a prisoner raw meat, I think as an act of rebellion/sadism? I have them all set to getting fine meals (not lavish), and this particular prisoner has no obvious reason to not be fed at least simple, if not fine (we have ample supplies of both). They have a robust digestion, so they won't get food poisoning, but surely it just tastes bad? Unsure why that guy did that.
• In the colony, we have: sensory mechanites, malaria, plague, muscle parasites, flu, and like two other singular afflictions on @Shmooply; this is hell.
• Only just now noticed that we're recruiting a fellow, a Venator named Conovo, that @Topaz404 shot in the heart, he still has the scar on the organ itself. Less than ideal, but we'll manage.
• Speaking of @Topaz404, the second he woke up, he set fire to his own bed, in the barracks, so like twenty people sprang up to undo the flame. He then set fire to @Rakih_Elyan's bed, who was still inside of the bed. He didn't repeat this for @Tllmbrg but instead set fire to his nightstand. Satisfied, he set his own bed alight for the last time and left the barracks to commit arson against our carrots.
• A team led by @DMUA and @PsychoWarper has completed our nuclear reactor, now serving as the primary source of energy for our base of operations. An incredible 34,000W is produced here, which is an insane amount of juice for Rimworld.
• A final grim note: although other colonists of lesser note have died up to this point, it is with sorrow I announce another colonist death of some actual worthiness: @Shmooply had his head blown off in a skirmish against a squad of Deserters that drop-podded past our killbox. A single raingun coil shot that missed @Crabwhale and hit him ripped it from his neck. Sometimes you just get unlucky. I'll be sending out more groups on missions now, in the hopes of getting a resurrector mech serum. Until then, you go in the freezer.

Can't even drink in peace.

 

[DMUA]

A team led by @DMUA and @PsychoWarper has completed our nuclear reactor, now serving as the primary source of energy for our base of operations. An incredible 34,000W is produced here, which is an insane amount of juice for Rimworld.

I mean 34 kilowatts seems extremely low for a nuclear reactor but I guess they don't want to get into uber big numbers

 

[Arceus0x]

You forgetting something, boy?

Idk man, you look like you're gonna go deep diving. Go back to Rapture or something, 'boy'

 

[Mr. Bambu]

I mean 34 kilowatts seems extremely low for a nuclear reactor but I guess they don't want to get into uber big numbers

It does, because we know how the numbers work; I imagine this is an instance of "the numbers don't have to make sense in the real world as long as mechanically it works the way you want it to". Same reason they have an explicitly Low 7-C bomb only have the radius of like, 25 meters.

 

[PsychoWarper]

It does, because we know how the numbers work; I imagine this is an instance of "the numbers don't have to make sense in the real world as long as mechanically it works the way you want it to". Same reason they have an explicitly Low 7-C bomb only have the radius of like, 25 meters.

Very concentrated lol

 

[Mr. Bambu]

• A masterwork silver sarcophagus was forged for @Shmooply to rest in whilst we searched for our Fountain of Youth to restore his vigor. I hadn't actually built a tomb yet, so it will get nicer later; for now, the temperature control and sarcophagus itself are all that matters. It fell (appropriately, I feel) to @Rakih_Elyan, the Warrior-Sage of the Legion, to take him to his not-quite-final rest. On his sarcophagus, Rakih engraved an image of Shmooply triumphing in combat. @Epiccheev led the funerary rites, giving a speech about continuing on Shmooply's work (killing people) and celebrating victory rather than mourning loss.
• We had a gathering to offset the mood loss from Shmooply's death, led by @Crabwhale; it was "fun", and did the job. @PsychoWarper passed out on the pew, I choose to think we drew silly things on his HUD.
• Dunno if I said this already but I've decided to make @The_man_with_the_Midas_touch the quartermaster, thus giving him an Officer rank and accompanying loadout and (gasp!) private bedroom, outside of the barracks. He's got the best social skill, which is pretty much the only determining factor.
• @PsychoWarper entered a sad wander because he wanted to eat (very specifically) insect jelly, which the only jelly on the map was on the edge of the map, and he was very hungry and took awhile to get there. We have lavish meals aplenty, but no, this will just not do for his discerning palette.
• Turns out @Crabwhale, as the leader, can give a huge NINE DAY BUFF to one of you to make you work 50% faster for that time. That's MADNESS. I gave it to @DMUA because he handles my two favorite things to rush, crafting and construction.
• We have now had two psychic storms, the gods will a Warhammer 40k reference to be made.
• Another prison break, this time while @Rakih_Elyan is sick with malaria. I send in the closest guy, @Arceus0x, who immediately disintegrates the jaw of one of the prisoners with a punch. Apparently he, too, is pretty strong. This incapacitates the man, who will need surgery; the other guy he hits in the nuts with the butt of his rifle, sending him down as well. I only just noticed that Jerath, the other guy (who is a particular person of interest so far, in the Lore) is literally listed as "Escapee", as his profession before this was Escaped Convict. Ironic.
• We got a trade ship that landed named Frog Import Company. Just thought @PsychoWarper would like that.
• @Epiccheev recruited someone by offering them peas whenever they wanted them.
• As time goes on, we get more and more confident in our ability to endure raids without Crab's assistance, which is really what we want, since that means Crab can be sent off on adventures abroad while the base is clear. In the most recent raid, @Arceus0x, in all his bulk, was shot quite a lot without being wounded at all; the only wounds sustained were a guy caught out in the field, and even then he only had a single light gunshot wound in his leg, and @DMUA getting shot in the neck (which only left a bruise, because his neck was protected).
• We got a small-time pirate raider who is now in the Lore, purely because they are both a misogynist and misandrist supersoldier. I didn't even know this was possible.
• We have researched the technology to hasten the decaying process to convert dead bodies directly into fuel; @ProbNotAFelon and @Lawiegg will likely now be joining the Corpse Hauler team as we prepare to create vehicles.
• @Tllmbrg got into a fist fight with another pawn, which caused him to respect that pawn more (as he considered it a cathartic fight); that pawn did not consider the fight cathartic, and so has an insanely negative perception of Tllmbrg, because Tllmbrg assaulted him.
• As a final thing: sent @Crabwhale out to check out nearby ruins, and although this player did not have a spare resurrector mech serum in the battle (or, at least, not one that was left by the other raiders; these maps spawn with like 50 other pawns trying to steal shit), they did have a shitload of normal-quality persona weapons; mostly plasmaswords but there was a couple of monoswords as well. If any of them are decent, I will give it to @Rakih_Elyan.

 

[Tllmbrg]

@Tllmbrg got into a fist fight with another pawn, which caused him to respect that pawn more (as he considered it a cathartic fight); that pawn did not consider the fight cathartic, and so has an insanely negative perception of Tllmbrg, because Tllmbrg assaulted him.

Lacks the soul of a warrior that one

 

[DMUA]

We got a small-time pirate raider who is now in the Lore, purely because they are both a misogynist and misandrist supersoldier. I didn't even know this was possible.

Only non binary folks are acceptable, I suppose

 

[Arceus0x]

In the most recent raid, @Arceus0x, in all his bulk, was shot quite a lot without being wounded at all

 

[PsychoWarper]

@PsychoWarper entered a sad wander because he wanted to eat (very specifically) insect jelly, which the only jelly on the map was on the edge of the map, and he was very hungry and took awhile to get there. We have lavish meals aplenty, but no, this will just not do for his discerning palette.

Bambu I NEED my Insect Jelly and you can not stop me from getting it.

We got a trade ship that landed named Frog Import Company. Just thought @PsychoWarper would like that.

In the words of a certain Insect, this is so kino.

 

[Epiccheev]

Do Priest's have superpowers here or just moral support?

 

[Mr. Bambu]

Do Priest's have superpowers here or just moral support?

You're assigned as our Chaplain, which means you have very limited use abilities associated with Ideology- in particular, a measure of converting others to our ideology a lot faster, the ability to remove memories from other pawns to increase their mood, and making them heal faster by preaching health. You're also telepathic, due to a bionic I installed in your brain.

 

[Arceus0x]

You're assigned as our Chaplain, which means you have very limited use abilities associated with Ideology- in particular, a measure of converting others to our ideology a lot faster, the ability to remove memories from other pawns to increase their mood, and making them heal faster by preaching health. You're also telepathic, due to a bionic I installed in your brain.

so to make the long story short
-gaslight
-gatekeep
-girlboss

 

[Epiccheev]

You're assigned as our Chaplain, which means you have very limited use abilities associated with Ideology- in particular, a measure of converting others to our ideology a lot faster, the ability to remove memories from other pawns to increase their mood, and making them heal faster by preaching health. You're also telepathic, due to a bionic I installed in your brain.

Guess i'll never be HIM then

 

[Mr. Bambu]

• Our issue of late has been steel, specifically keeping a supply of it (we've been buying it whenever we can, our projects require a lot of it); as our science team has finished ground penetrating scanners, @Rakih_Elyan is now locked off from his desk for awhile to instead use the aforementioned scanner to find us heaps of steel underground.
• He technically hasn't even signed up yet, although since he said he was going to I have a stand-in pawn for him; @Da3ggman got shot in the ******* head with a shotgun and is now brain damaged. We can fix this, later, but for now he has become an Issue.
• @Crabwhale has returned from his longest trip so far, totaling 7 days without his presence- we faced three attacks in this time, including the one that saw Eggman's stand-in get brain damaged. In return, he finally brings us the persona weapons. Only @Rakih_Elyan is particularly interested in them for now, but later we may develop a melee battalion. After going through the list, I've decided to give him Diamond Legacy, a normal quality Plasmasword with a lot of traits, all of which are at least sometimes beneficial: beauty-in-death (when he kills something, his need for Beauty is satiated), dauntless (he is staggered for less time when he takes damage), painless (the weapon absorbs any pain he takes, so he doesn't feel it), reiner (the weapon absorbs his psychic entropy, allowing him to use psychic abilities more often), and pyschic sensitizer (increases his psychic sensitivity slightly); you are not guaranteed to get beneficial traits from these weapons (the list is like, 60% good 40% bad), so having five traits that are all basically good is a steal. This now means I will work on making Rakih a psychic at earliest opportunity.
• We have finally achieved a weapon upgrade for all of you, having upgraded from Heavy SMG-equivalents to one of two types of assault rifles. Steadily we progress onward. The exception is @ProbNotAFelon, who I've decided I will not regulate; if he wants to use the Hecate, he may do so. I also intend to set up a shotgun class for those of you who are less handy with a gun (this means @Armorchompy, since the only other one who isn't good at ranged at least to a baseline professional level is @Epiccheev, who is a pacifist)
• In return for a huge mechhive fight, we got an Honor from the Imperium; like a title, Crab is now Crabbius the Great, and has a buff to his happiness as a result. We also got a pretty cracked colonist to join- low combat ability but with great memory and fast learner.
• We got a blood moon and an aurora at the same time, which sounds like it would actually look sick as all hell (but we cannot see the sky in this game; the beauty must reside in our skulls instead). Both @Epiccheev and @Lawiegg took time to stargaze and look in wonder upon the cosmos. Just before the aurora we had a psychic storm instead. Cool environmental imagery going on at Golgohrra.
• Caught @Rakih_Elyan having abandoned a hauling task, so he was wandering around with about 6 metric tons of shit just in his pockets (seriously, I did the math). I don't know why he was doing this but it uneccessarily slowed him down so I forced him to drop it all in the hallway. He then got sad and wandered around in a daze.
• Sent a raid comprising of Grave, @Lawiegg, @Tllmbrg, @PsychoWarper and @ProbNotAFelon to a nearby site to get intel on a relic of our faction we were searching for. On the way, a bunch of wookies demanded we give them our high tech armor. I obviously refused, and it turns out, they are all practically naked, with the most rudimentary weapons- literally clubs and sticks, except for one, who had a sawed-off shotgun. I saluted their bravery as we killed them. The shotgun wielder, Wedge, will be memorialized somehow, especially since he is the only one to have survived the battle- he managed to retreat after we dispatched his cavemen allies.
• This mission saw us slaughter a bunch of tribals. It was unfair. On the return trip, we were ambushed- equally unfair for the enemy, @Tllmbrg killed them both basically instantly. Their gear was humorous- biocoded muskets. Why even waste the resources to biocode a musket? What is the thought process? The world may never know.

 

[Rakih_Elyan]

Only @Rakih_Elyan is particularly interested in them for now, but later we may develop a melee battalion. After going through the list, I've decided to give him Diamond Legacy, a normal quality Plasmasword with a lot of traits, all of which are at least sometimes beneficial: beauty-in-death (when he kills something, his need for Beauty is satiated), dauntless (he is staggered for less time when he takes damage), painless (the weapon absorbs any pain he takes, so he doesn't feel it), reiner (the weapon absorbs his psychic entropy, allowing him to use psychic abilities more often), and pyschic sensitizer (increases his psychic sensitivity slightly); you are not guaranteed to get beneficial traits from these weapons (the list is like, 60% good 40% bad), so having five traits that are all basically good is a steal. This now means I will work on making Rakih a psychic at earliest opportunity.

Damn boy, me eating good.

 

[PsychoWarper]

Bambu you should give me a biocoded musket

 

[Arceus0x]

My ass is a side character. Maybe it means I'll live long enough to tell the tale.

 

[Mr. Bambu]

Bambu you should give me a biocoded musket

the fact that it is biocoded means I cannot equip it, it is biocoded to a shitty stupid bandit who wasted the spacer-technology bound biocoding on a 1500s musket

My ass is a side character. Maybe it means I'll live long enough to tell the tale.

your ass is a living brick I wedge in difficult situations that consumes lead on behalf of the team and ***** out brass casings

 

[Arceus0x]

your ass is a living brick I wedge in difficult situations that consumes lead on behalf of the team and ***** out brass casings

So that's why I'm red

 

[Mr. Bambu]

So that's why I'm red

Colors correspond to officer ranks; you and Gukhrog have the best combat ability and are designated with red colors. Rakih is an officer because he's our equivalent of Darth Vader (excluding Crab) while Grave is purple because he has the highest psychic potential currently. XIII is white because he is the company priest and does not partake in combat (although he wears a gold-dyed cloak). Never ****** with dye before, figure I would like to do it for this run, seems appropriate.

 

[Da3ggman]

• He technically hasn't even signed up yet, although since he said he was going to I have a stand-in pawn for him;

Nice!

• @Da3ggman got shot in the ******* head with a shotgun and is now brain damaged. We can fix this, later, but for now he has become an Issue.

….not as nice….

 

[Arceus0x]

Nice!

….not as nice….

Mf got spawn camped

 

[Mr. Bambu]

An updated gallery of characters and their killing stats so far, as we're quite far into the save already. I've talked about it before, but there are interesting stat things at work:

• For example, Crab's damage output is an extreme case of, somehow, low damage compared to his kills- although it's like 10x higher than the next highest damage count, his kill count is about 12x higher than the next highest kill count. Doing immense damage in a single hit will lead to less damage overall, as it takes you less damage to kill the target. @Rakih_Elyan is a lesser example, with insanely low overall damage dealt- a result of melee fighting and generally killing his enemies in a single hit.
• Perhaps obviously, people assigned to hunting have killed a lot more than people who aren't assigned to hunting. That said, not all "animals" are from hunting: we are routinely attacked by manhunters and Hive insects, both of which are considered animals, hence non-hunters like @Armorchompy having animal kills.
• The kill count does not take downed enemies into account- that is a separate statistic. I am unsure what the total should be or how it works- my belief is that "downed enemies" are creatures you incapacitated but did not actually kill yourself. It's like an Assist stat.
• I am unsure how armor negating damage entirely plays out in this. People with lower-caliber guns have low opportunity to penetrate heavily armored enemies, meaning their main function is chipping through armor- which isn't damage. So some of you who got better weapons later on will have lower damage counts overall.

Please make another gallery for when everyone gets a major upgrade to their armor. It's tough making memes out of this when every pawn almost has the same build and is rocking the same colonial marines armor.

 

[Shmooply]

I kneel...
will make more memes when i dont feel like shit

 

[Mr. Bambu]

• A high psychic drone spells out a painful few days for the colony. Dearie me.
• Without realizing it, one of our prisoners is pregnant. I don't want to kill the baby, if only because I'm not above recruiting child-soldiers; this was a daunting thing, because the mother attempted a prison break. So, we did the sensible thing, and sent in @The_man_with_the_Midas_touch to break each and every one of her fingers, and @Arceus0x to shoot her in the lungs. She lived, but not happily.
• We got a contract to deliver 800 javelins for 33k silver, which is an ungodly amount. We just so happened to have let a merchant die on our lawn who, among other things, peddled about 900 javelins. I thought they were so worthless I literally just left them to rot in the mud. We will now be propelled forward in terms of wealth, enough that I must consider if it is worth the effort to learn how the stock market works.
• @ProbNotAFelon just smacked the **** out of our wookie recruit, ripped his ear off in a social fight. It was messed up even more than it sounds because the poor bastard only had one arm to defend himself with. Not cool.
• In an effort to further rid ourselves of rock chunks, we are having @Epiccheev make salt by crushing up entire boulders in the kitchen. We shall Eat Good.
• Had @The_man_with_the_Midas_touch trade with a bulk goods merchant, who had a majority of his wares in the form of four male cats and almost 1000 units of cat meat. Dire implications at work there.
• @PsychoWarper successfully tamed our new mount, a chocobo desert ave, giant bipedal bird that's fast as hell. Hoping to have @Lawiegg get the other so we can breed them for a source of free mounts til we have vehicles up and running. On that end...
• Had @Topaz404 and @Rakih_Elyan do all necessary research to whip up our first vehicle worth having, the Skyranger, a heavy VTOL troop transport for long-distance engagements. It's still pretty limited capacity (8 units, I believe) but we can send multiple. So, our goal for long crusades is pretty much three of these bad boys.
• We have acquired the first of our Ideology's relics, an ornate derringer of legendary quality dubbed the Relic of Family. Our other relics are substantially better, so it was a bit disappointing to work on this one first, but. It's here now. So. It gives us a mood buff for having it at rituals, so we'll be doing rituals in our rec room now.
• @Arceus0x killed one of our prisoners, entirely on accident. She had gone berserk, so I meant to just leave her in her cell until she passed out and let it pass- unfortunately, he went in there to grab an item for one task or another, and shot her to death. Such is life.
• @Armorchompy has been pivoted to a melee build, because although he is an atrocious shot, he does have an appreciable talent for melee weapons. He now wields Smasher's Shadow, another plasmasword with mostly good traits, at the cost of making its wielder feel a bit more pain than usual.
• We got our 33k silver delivered (actually more like 31k silver, turns out the bank takes a cut). It's beautiful. We're capitalists now, in the midst of war. Our next playthrough is for sure capitalist centric, as much wealth as possible. @Tllmbrg is currently using his cutting edge crafting ability to churn out crossbow bolts and tomahawks because that's what the market wants.
• @ProbNotAFelon got his ear shot off just before one of the other drafted pawns compared him to a fish; I choose to believe he did not start a social fight there and then, in the trenches defending our home, because he couldn't hear. I also choose to believe this other pawn, Orozco, chose that moment to insult him because he noticed Felonius had lost an ear, and thus could not hear, and so could be insulted without repercussion.
• @DMUA now lives in Shelf Purgatory, perhaps an adjacent realm to the Anvil Dimension, in which all of his legendary construction skills are spent building the exact same template of shelf over and over again; our warehouse needs cleaning up, and he's the man for the job.
• It isn't actually him but I want to announce that we found a healer mech serum and now @Da3ggman's brain damage is cleared up, since he seemed concern with that. We could have used it to regenerate limbs, but...
• We have bionic crafting up! Advanced components are a son of a bitch to acquire, so we're researching advanced fabrication as we speak (and may well make a component/advanced component factory, later) but we did make some, including a shiny new leg for @The_man_with_the_Midas_touch. Advanced bionics have made him significantly more helpful.
• I took a prisoner exclusively because her name was Crab. She's a shit tier soldier, low skill and no passion, but we're keeping her anyways.
• We've pivoted @Armorchompy from being a ranged fighter (which he only has 3 skill in) to a melee fighter (which he has 7 skill in). We do this because one of the persona weapons is still pretty good- Smasher's Shadow is an excellent persona plasmasword with kind thoughts (makes the wielder happier), beauty-in-death (killing people sates the wielder's need for beauty), fast mover (makes the wielder slightly faster), inflaming (wielder feels more pain- this is the bad trait), and psychic quiet (lessens effects of psychic effects on the wielder but makes them less adept at psychic abilities)

 

[DMUA]

@DMUA now lives in Shelf Purgatory, perhaps an adjacent realm to the Anvil Dimension, in which all of his legendary construction skills are spent building the exact same template of shelf over and over again; our warehouse needs cleaning up, and he's the man for the job.

I can only imagine the average French Tomahawk video

 

[Arceus0x]

unfortunately, he went in there to grab an item for one task or another, and shot her to death. Such is life.

Living up to the Sundowner name this round

 

[Topaz404]

Had @Topaz404 and @Rakih_Elyan do all necessary research to whip up our first vehicle worth having, the Skyranger, a heavy VTOL troop transport for long-distance engagements. It's still pretty limited capacity (8 units, I believe) but we can send multiple. So, our goal for long crusades is pretty much three of these bad boys.

Dab me up Rakih, we are serving the Mother- i mean colony well

 

[Mr. Bambu]

• One of the recent raiders we didn't instantly kill spawned in with a bionic jaw, so @Tllmbrg is fixed, because we removed that shit from her in surgery and then sent her to a slave colony prison.
• I sent @PsychoWarper to deal with a Feralisk Clutch Mother, alone- this is the exact creature our 8-C scaling comes from, and he managed to take it out in 4 shots. So, we have 8-C colonists for those of you equal to or better than Psycho. Acknowledging that his weapon is pretty much the peak of post-industrial damage outputters, this means @ProbNotAFelon, @Arceus0x, and a couple others, whilst pretty much all rifleman have "possibly" scaling. @Rakih_Elyan and somehow @Armorchompy are already "At least 8-C" because while ranged weapons are superpowered in this mod, melee weapons require no ammo and thus we can give them the best we have without fearing for their ammo situation.
• We have reached a level of wealth that I have decided to pivot one of our outposts from producing money to giving us ammunition to ease up our own supply needs; ideally, this will allow us to equip everyone with armor piercing high explosive rounds for our largest guns. It'll cost a lot (1000 silver per month or thereabouts) but it'll be worth it, plus our other posts we've invested in more than pick up that slack.
• @Arceus0x now has an advanced bionic eye, to replace the one that was shot out a long while back.
• @DMUA and @Tllmbrg engaged in a bout of fisticuffs, as both were trying to create tomahawks for the Economy. Neither was able to harm the other through their armor and our one-armed recruit, Blackjack, took over making the tomahawks instead as they fought.
• Several missions and POIs and bandit camps later and we haven't found a resurrector mech serum. Only, I learned you could simply request one via the market- it takes a long time and costs a lot more to get quick results (we paid almost 5x the market price for the item) but @Shmooply is back, head and all. He's in a coma currently but that's a pretty tolerable state of affairs as far as I'm concerned. It is humorous to note that his corpse still has ******* gut worms, despite having been dead for about half a year in-game. I gave @Lawiegg the honors of resurrecting him- the poetic among you may declare that this was because Lawie is uniquely equipped to deal with the resurrected, having been the only other resurrected member of the colony so far (Crab doesn't count), but really it was because he was hauling the mech serum and thus it was just easier to have him do it. Welcome back Shmooply.
• @Epiccheev broke the will of Crab (our shitty prisoner, not our primarch Lord Commander) and now she's joined us.
• Few fights later and you guys are racking up major wounds now that every raid is a maxed out raid. @PsychoWarper is sporting a brand new eye after his last one was melted out of his skull by charged plasma, and our android's nose was ripped off by a giant bug. Eggman is also significantly messed up (now sporting a bionic leg and jaw)- we're producing the parts at a fast enough rate to stem the bleeding, so it's not a terrible issue.
• Single mostly-naked woman (she was wearing ballistic goggles) with a stick thought she would ambush @Rakih_Elyan as he led a caravan across our territory. The first hit didn't kill her (even if it was across her heart), so we took her prisoner, cut off her arms and legs, and left her there. She's lucky she didn't try to assault the base with that attitude, our torture supplies are there. We did what we could with the herbs and wood native to the environment.
• Caught @Crabwhale visiting the tombs, specifically the grave of a soldier who died before he could reach them when I desperately sent him out to assist. I said we'd been trying to avoid deploying Crab for every encounter, and we've been sticking to that; still, it has cost us much in the interim, and in time of dire consequence I still send him out. Sometimes it is too late, and so he visits the tombs.
• @DMUA got inspired creatively, so on a similar vein, we decided to send him to make us a burial pillar made of jade, in case any of you die for a long time again; it is corpse housing for the Honored Dead. The end result came out to be a legendary structure, bumping our tomb beauty up incredibly. I've left a slot open to build another one in the tomb, should we ever get a similar creative inspiration.
• @Lawiegg has been hard at work taming aves for us. Cheap mounts are nice until I get off my ass and work on the garage.

 

[Crabwhale]

• Caught @Crabwhale visiting the tombs, specifically the grave of a soldier who died before he could reach them when I desperately sent him out to assist. I said we'd been trying to avoid deploying Crab for every encounter, and we've been sticking to that; still, it has cost us much in the interim, and in time of dire consequence I still send him out. Sometimes it is too late, and so he visits the tombs.

 

[DMUA]

@DMUA and @Tllmbrg engaged in a bout of fisticuffs, as both were trying to create tomahawks for the Economy. Neither was able to harm the other through their armor and our one-armed recruit, Blackjack, took over making the tomahawks instead as they fought.

Another lore accurate classic, I believe