Douchebag genie: Screw over peoples wishes

[Oliver_de_jesus]

I forgot to mention you are quickly killed off.

Well it makes sense, I don't have his stats, weapons, skill or his agility

 

[Nullflowerblush]

Granted, but it’s a low effort sandbox page.
Anyone here should feel free to add Powers and stats that the genie would need for the wishes so far, or any wish you grant in the future (make sure to include justifications).

Actually, this is a cool idea.

 

[Imaginym]

Granted however the land convinces it to help them still.

I wish the genie had a profile on one of the sister wikis

I'm too lazy to edit properly, so I'm probably gonna start making a list of P&A based on the wishes granted so far, & will probably post it later.

Actually, this is a cool idea.

I have been going through the thread & listing down wishes, who wished, who granted them, as well as making general listings of Powers & Abilities involved in the granting of those wishes.

I have completed as far as Post #43 (Arbitrary pausing point.), & this is Post #283 of the thread. Thus, at the time of making this post, I am approximately 15% done, since not all posts involve wishes.

I want something cleared up:

When a poster grants a wish, are they?:

A. Detailing what the Douchebag Genie does, as though DG is a singular individual?
Or:
B. That poster themself is acting as an individual genie, who's wish grantings are separate from other posters/genies?

A's case means there's just a singular, likely VERY long list of P&A & justifications, & probably a mostly complete Statistics Listing?
B's case means likely everyone in this thread gets their own Powers & Abilities, & a probably incomplete Statistics Listings.

 

[Lou_change]

I say a and it has multiple minds

 

[Imaginym]

I say a and it has multiple minds

Do you mean that you think it has https://vsbattles.fandom.com/wiki/Multiple_Selves & identifies/acts as different individuals from this thread depending on circumstances?

 

[Lou_change]

Yeah I didn't know the name.

 

[Imaginym]

Yeah I didn't know the name.

I'll wait for other people to give their opinions on how many individuals to treat the Genie(s) of this thread as.

A little game I saw on reddit

How it works is like this:

Person(user): "I wish I had a billion dollars"

Genie(another user): Granted, but the money are all in pennies (so you get crushed to death)

@OriginFox : As thread starter, do you have any opinion?

Granted, but it’s a low effort sandbox page.
Anyone here should feel free to add Powers and stats that the genie would need for the wishes so far, or any wish you grant in the future (make sure to include justifications).

Anyways, I wish one plus one equaled seven.

@Blahblah9755 : Forgot to quote your post earlier, but yeah.
As the user who started the sandbox, any opinion on the question of how many individuals to treat the Genie(s) of this thread as?


Also, I have finished going over Post #69 of this thread.
24% of the way there! ....Which is still around 200 posts & counting to go, lol.

 

[azontr]

Why are you putting so much effort into this-

 

[Imaginym]

Why are you putting so much effort into this-

I find it fun. Plus, part of me is wondering which Wisher/Genie has the best feats in the context of this thread, lol.

 

[Blahblah9755]

I also sort of viewed it as each poster being part of the genie when they were granting wishes (but not when they were getting wishes granted).
I had actually considered putting some people’s names into the name section of the profile, but decided that I should check with people first if I did that, and that might make it more than a low effort sandbox, so it wouldn’t work with my wish subversion.

Also, since we don’t have a wish waiting right now, I wish I could perfectly understand how to calc any feat at a glance, and instantly write blogs for them.

 

[Daddybrawl]

The ‘One Body, multiple minds’ is a classic for this sort of thing, so let’s do this lol.
Also…

I wish Magic was Real.

gosh darnit I didn’t see the wish above me

 

[azontr]

Also, since we don’t have a wish waiting right now, I wish I could perfectly understand how to calc any feat at a glance, and instantly write blogs for them.

Granted. But you are clueless on anything else besides calculations.

 

[azontr]

I wish Magic was Real.

Granted. But it's the only thing that was ever real, and everything else including every moment of reality was simply an illusion.

 

[Blahblah9755]

Remember to make a wish when you grant one, pretty sure this is supposed to be a reply chain type thing

 

[azontr]

Remember to make a wish when you grant one, pretty sure this is supposed to be a reply chain type thing

Nah.

 

[Nullflowerblush]

Anyways, I wish one plus one equaled seven.

Granted. However, because the laws of math have been altered in such a drastic way, everything measured numerically (i.e., distance, mass, time, temperature, energy, etc.) is thrown into complete chaos, causing the entire universe- no, all of reality (remember, dimensions are also measured numerically) to break down. The stability of all there is is ruined, all because you wanted to make a silly joke.

I wish I couldn’t feel pain.

Granted. However, while you may not be able to feel the pain, any and all damage you take is magnified by tens to hundreds of times; a papercut could end up tearing through your muscle like butter, and the corner of a table could shatter your ribcage into pieces, and you would be none the wiser.

I wish Magic was Real.

Granted. However, magic and the natural rules of the universe do not mesh well together, meaning every time magic is used, the universe comes closer and closer to collapsing. Fortunately, nobody, aside from the genie, actually knows the formula required to utilize magic (think hand seals in Naruto). But, as may know by now, the genie is constantly using magic.

I wish that the planes flying over my house were quieter.

Granted. However, to achieve this, the speed of sound was lowered drastically. In order to maintain balance in the universe, the speed of living creatures was drastically reduced as well, causing everything that breathes to move at an abysmally sluggish rate now.

I wish technology would cooperate with me whenever I needed it to.

 

[Oliver_de_jesus]

I wish technology would cooperate with me whenever I needed it to

Granted, now you are part machine and have technopathy, but lose everything below your waist of your body and you can only drink cans of oil

I want to check my theory, having a child with a woman of 2663962 Higher mathematics Dimensions without an avatar in the love night

 

[Blahblah9755]

Granted. However, because the laws of math have been altered in such a drastic way, everything measured numerically (i.e., distance, mass, time, temperature, energy, etc.) is thrown into complete chaos, causing the entire universe- no, all of reality (remember, dimensions are also measured numerically) to break down. The stability of all there is is ruined, all because you wanted to make a silly joke.

You say this was a silly joke? Who decided that? The destruction of reality bothers me? Who decided that?

I want to check my theory, having a child with a woman of 2663962 Higher mathematics Dimensions without an avatar in the love night

Granted, but she’s only 2663962 dimensional because the universe is actually contains of 2663959 spatial dimensions that are too small to be measured alongside the 3 we typically move through, and therefore any normal human actually has a thickness of one Planck length in 2663959 dimensions. You also get an std in the process, how unlucky.

I wish I was omnilingual.

 

[Emirp sumitpo]

I wish I was omnilingual.

Granted, but you cannot speak

 

[Emirp sumitpo]

I wish Among Us happened before time and space existed

 

[Imaginym]

I wish Among Us happened before time and space existed

Granted. However, Among Us is so pervasive over the years, that as human culture becomes civilized, Among Us is the cause of crusades & wars, & is soon deemed a blight on the world. Records of it are destroyed, papers & books bearing its images are burned, & monuments in its likeness are toppled & ground to dust.
By the time you have come to be born, no remnant of its existence remains, even amongst the findings of our greatest scholars.

I wish that a copy of Earth, its sun, & Earth's moon would appear outside of but near to our Solar System, in the same arrangement as those celestial bodies are in ours, with the distinction that the copy of Earth holds no life except for plantlife.

(Also, for anyone who cares, I reached post 100 in my documentation of the P&A & such for this thread. I in fact, reached that point on roughly the same day as I started, then took a break from it. I should probably resume soon.)

 

[Emirp sumitpo]

Granted. However, Among Us is so pervasive over the years, that as human culture becomes civilized, Among Us is the cause of crusades & wars, & is soon deemed a blight on the world. Records of it are destroyed, papers & books bearing its images are burned, & monuments in its likeness are toppled & ground to dust.
By the time you have come to be born, no remnant of its existence remains, even amongst the findings of our greatest scholars.

:0

 

[Emirp sumitpo]

I wish that a copy of Earth, its sun, & Earth's moon would appear outside of but near to our Solar System, in the same arrangement as those celestial bodies are in ours, with the distinction that the copy of Earth holds no life except for plantlife.

Granted, but Humanity would never be able to access it for reasons they will never discover

 

[Delta333]

I wish I can use mind control

 

[Emirp sumitpo]

I wish I can use mind control

Granted, but you can only control you own mind

 

[Delta333]

Granted, but you can only control you own mind

Thanks,people said that I always lose control myself and can't keep calm

 

[Lou_change]

I wish I can use mind control

Granted however the way to control anyone is unique and overcomplicated and they are aware.

 

[Daddybrawl]

booo

I wish I couldn’t feel pain, in a way that’s not ‘ok, you’re a jellyfish’.

 

[Lou_change]

booo

I wish I couldn’t feel pain, in a way that’s not ‘ok, you’re a jellyfish’.

You die instantly preventing you from feeling pain.

 

[Oliver_de_jesus]

i wish stamina Godlike level

Example

 

[Delta333]

I wish I always have luck

 

[Lou_change]

i wish stamina Godlike level

Example

You can't sleep or eat.

I wish I always have luck

It is bad luck.

 

[Delta333]

I wish I always have good luck

 

[Lou_change]

I wish I always have good luck

Granted you also have equal bad luck.

 

[Oliver_de_jesus]

You can't sleep or eat.

I mean, that is for what i wan

 

[Imaginym]

I wish I always have good luck

Your perspective & sense of self-worth are distorted, so that the unfortunate events & the commonplace are seen, by you, as "good luck" for you.
(Or Lou_change claimed that wish.)
Anyway, with that, lemme just wish you good luck now, Delta333, lol.
....Waitaminute....

ANYWAY....
I wish for cheese wheels, which are 3 meters in length/height & 50 cm in thickness, & impervious to damage from inorganic matter & repellant to all organic matter unless indoors, to appear at the top of every mountain in the world, & begin rolling down from the peaks of said mountains.

 

[Lou_change]

Do to the density of cheese wheels not being stated they are the densest things in the universe.

 

[Lou_change]

I mean, that is for what i wan

Fine you have no way to replenish your stamina.

 

[Oliver_de_jesus]

i mean godlike is literally fighting for centuries so i would probably die before it's over

 

[Blahblah9755]

ANYWAY....
I wish for cheese wheels, which are 3 meters in length/height & 50 cm in thickness, & impervious to damage from inorganic matter & repellant to all organic matter unless indoors, to appear at the top of every mountain in the world, & begin rolling down from the peaks of said mountains.

Granted, but as all buildings in the mountain towns and cities they first roll through are destroyed, no one realizes that these can be damaged when indoors. Thinking these wheels indestructible they begin replacing the materials of our most important construction projects. Months later, the first 1000 cheese skyscrapers are simultaneously completed worldwide, and each cheese wheel is simultaneously deemed “indoors”. Structural failures occur en mass, cheese, cement, and glass rain from the sky. Some nearby buildings are hit by the falling, and a domino effect occurs, leading to the destruction of at least 5% of all buildings within all capital cities and many other major cities worldwide. The global economy quickly collapses, and the pace of global trade falls to a crawl. But not all is lost, even as much of trade becomes impossible and billions of crops rot unable to be shipped or stored, no one starves, as they have now discovered how they can access their infinite supply of cheese.

I wish I fully understood all currently known and unknown aspects of the hypothetical “theory of everything” in physics.