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Be My Rimworld Pawns Season 2

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5BffaPl.png


We're having a dance party before we go off to war again.
 
  • @Epiccheev's stone golems have been fully upgraded, and I feel mildly cheated. The game said that the Compactor upgrade we installed would allow them to just crush stone chunks into usable bricks- not something I'd want to happen to all of our chunks, as they are also useful raw as refining into trebuchet ammo or raw magicyte by a magic user, but certainly useful if I wanted to create a hellish maze of a killbox. Turns out they can only do this while dormant- they're just a machine that we can do that at, little better than the stonecutting table we've used since we started. Oh well. Other than that they seem good, we have four of them and they're extremely tanky, significantly moreso than the Flesh Golems. Next I will invest in Wood Golems, Straw Golems, and Majarl Golems (which seems to be a mix of leather and clay). We still need a lot of plasteel for the Hollow Golem.
  • @PsychoWarper produced a LEGENDARY quality set of archmage robes. The only downside is that uh... well he made them out of human skin. Meaning most of our mages will go insane if forced to wear them. Psycho would be unaffected, but he's already wearing robes that give him, the necromancer, special bonuses: even though the quality is higher, this would be a downgrade. The only other mage unaffected by death and such vileness is... my son, Samuel, the born Warlock. He has the Unaffected by Death trait, meaning he doesn't really care about dead bodies or cannibalism. His debuff for wearing it is much lower than others would have.
  • @Tllmbrg's kid passed by Cheev like three times and every time she had something mean to say to that guy. She called him an eggplant. Not a dick, just an eggplant. She later shamed his eating habits.
  • We've begun giving important people classes. Garfunkle and Breakfast have been made into Psionic warriors, Schwam is being made into an Apothecary, and Lemberg is now a paladin (had to go back and edit this in!).
  • @Mad_Dog_of_Fujiwara has not successfully wooed the only other lesbian in the colony yet. Out of curiosity I checked the odds of flirtation being successful: 36%. Those are pretty good odds and means that it's likely they'll fall together- I noticed one instance where Fujiwara tried already, but it wasn't successful. She tried complimenting Farell's... lovers. Herself, potentially. She tried to woo the gay woman by complimenting her future self. After rejecting Fujiwara, Farell was grievously insulted by a 55 year old man passing by who called her a wimp. She suffered the insult without retort.
  • @Arceus0x continues to be a fat damn bastard. He ate an entire stack of meals (that's 10) in one sitting. An ABSURD amount of food. I hate the Gourmand trait. He continued to eat until his son Alexander finally caught up to the lithe ****** to calm him down.
  • @GreyFang82 continues to be a brutal and uncompromising prison warden, it occurs to me that it may be a bad idea to send the monosword wielder in to suppress prison escape attempts. Another instant kill.
  • I've decided to give the completely gold set of armor to @Rakih_Elyan. Objectively speaking, his mix of plasteel and steel was probably better, but not enough to outweigh the fact that the dude is wearing like a colony's worth of wealth. Lo, here cometh the Foretold Son of Mammon, the Saint of the Mountebank, The Right Hand of Midas: look upon His Excellency, His Exuberance, His Opulence, and weep at your own poverty.
  • I didn't manually assign any particular clothes to @Epiccheev when I told him to switch from Ranged Fighter gear to Mage gear, but he came out wearing a black hood and a black cloak and a red shirt, which is striking enough I suppose but it seems likely he shopped at Hot Topic, somehow. His backpack isn't doing him any favors, thing is pale blue. Completely ruining the vibe.
  • I was annoyed with a horde of boomalopes eating our kibble out for the pen animals so I had @Crabwhale telefrag them all. Didn't even lose a finger! I expected him to lose a finger.
  • We taught @Comiphorous how to set himself on fire for dramatic effect when engaging in Death Knight activities. The ability is great but it does actively damage him, thus fighting against his natural hastened regeneration. I consider him an ideal bearer of the art of self immolation. In the same set of purchased scrolls from the Sky People we taught @Da3ggman how to repair gear, which is nice because that drug-addicted fox woman who died was the other one who knew how to do it. All our nice gear is getting beat up, time for the priest to lend a hand in maintaining it with Cheev.
  • Speaking of Eggman, for aesthetic reasons I will not be assigning him magus gear, even though he is a mage. I like the idea of a priest wearing artisan's clothes because he's just one of the citizens in his eyes, in spite of the fact that he wields divine providence within him.
  • I have learned that I don't know how @Armorchompy's poison traps work. Enemies just... keep stepping on the one I set up in the killbox. They don't mind it. They might even like it. The sick *****.
  • I didn't ask yet but I will extend the offer here (whoever answers first gets first pick): @Nierre aside from myself, you're the last VSBW person without a class. We have Gladiator or Summoner on the backburner, or you could wait awhile and get one of the others to write a tome down with their class on it (which would allow for Ranger, Necromancer, Bladedancer, Death Knight, Faceless, Chaos Mage, Golemancer, Empath, Monk, Psionic, Priest, Apothecary, Paladin, or Warlock); you could also choose none, or be a classless adept (called either a Wayfarer or Wanderer depending on whether you are physically or magically adept), which means you get no innate abilities but can learn abilities from all classes and do them all decently (a jack of all trades, master of none type deal). Your call.
  • @Rakih_Elyan continues to not work a day in his ******* life and is only happy when we're under attack or when he's drinking in the inn with visitors
 
(oh yeah and I feel I should note that @Crabwhale is the first wearer of a full set of gilded hardened adamantine armor, it's about as glorious as one would expect and almost matches the prestige cataphract armor of the olden days of High Technology)
 
Mr. Bambu said:
@Arceus0x continues to be a fat damn bastard. He ate an entire stack of meals (that's 10) in one sitting. An ABSURD amount of food. I hate the Gourmand trait. He continued to eat until his son Alexander finally caught up to the lithe ****** to calm him down.
Click to expand...
Literally me:
8a4b67d0b10bbae8a6d3359a5270ac87.gif
 
Epiccheev said:
His son arriving in the kitchen like:
bL4ZIKC.jpeg
Click to expand...
without reading the context of why you were posting this, I straight up read Jon as Son. The image works better than you know (specifically against those who have just now awoken, at least)
 
Mr. Bambu said:
@PsychoWarper produced a LEGENDARY quality set of archmage robes. The only downside is that uh... well he made them out of human skin. Meaning most of our mages will go insane if forced to wear them. Psycho would be unaffected, but he's already wearing robes that give him, the necromancer, special bonuses: even though the quality is higher, this would be a downgrade. The only other mage unaffected by death and such vileness is... my son, Samuel, the born Warlock. He has the Unaffected by Death trait, meaning he doesn't really care about dead bodies or cannibalism. His debuff for wearing it is much lower than others would have.
Click to expand...
If humans didn’t wanna be turned into clothes then why are they made of clothing? Check mate libtard.
 
Mr. Bambu said:
I didn't ask yet but I will extend the offer here (whoever answers first gets first pick): @Nierre aside from myself, you're the last VSBW person without a class. We have Gladiator or Summoner on the backburner, or you could wait awhile and get one of the others to write a tome down with their class on it (which would allow for Ranger, Necromancer, Bladedancer, Death Knight, Faceless, Chaos Mage, Golemancer, Empath, Monk, Psionic, Priest, Apothecary, Paladin, or Warlock); you could also choose none, or be a classless adept (called either a Wayfarer or Wanderer depending on whether you are physically or magically adept), which means you get no innate abilities but can learn abilities from all classes and do them all decently (a jack of all trades, master of none type deal). Your call.
Click to expand...
where can i get a list of the classes and their attributes again?
 
Mr. Bambu said:
  • In the same set of purchased scrolls from the Sky People we taught @Da3ggman how to repair gear, which is nice because that drug-addicted fox woman who died was the other one who knew how to do it. All our nice gear is getting beat up, time for the priest to lend a hand in maintaining it with Cheev.
Click to expand...
swearing.gif


The stress the being the medic and the engineer of the team is gonna fracture my mental state, I swear.
 
I don't know if it's updated and comprehensive but there is the wiki here.
 
Mr. Bambu said:
@Mad_Dog_of_Fujiwara has not successfully wooed the only other lesbian in the colony yet. Out of curiosity I checked the odds of flirtation being successful: 36%. Those are pretty good odds and means that it's likely they'll fall together- I noticed one instance where Fujiwara tried already, but it wasn't successful. She tried complimenting Farell's... lovers. Herself, potentially. She tried to woo the gay woman by complimenting her future self. After rejecting Fujiwara, Farell was grievously insulted by a 55 year old man passing by who called her a wimp. She suffered the insult without retort.
Click to expand...
Tch... she'll fall for my trademark Fuji Rizz one of these days, trust me.........

also can i please kill that guy
 
alright gentlemen we can now summon demons from hell
 
Arceus0x said:
Please don't, don't turn this into hazbin hotel
Click to expand...
🤨

we're going to KILL the demons, Arceus

kill them.

for their scales.

to make armor out of.

no degen shit in my Rimworld colony.

aside from the human skin and meat harvesting, those are fine.
 
Mr. Bambu said:
We taught @Comiphorous how to set himself on fire for dramatic effect when engaging in Death Knight activities. The ability is great but it does actively damage him, thus fighting against his natural hastened regeneration. I consider him an ideal bearer of the art of self immolation. In the same set of purchased scrolls from the Sky People we taught @Da3ggman how to repair gear, which is nice because that drug-addicted fox woman who died was the other one who knew how to do it. All our nice gear is getting beat up, time for the priest to lend a hand in maintaining it with Cheev.
Click to expand...
my intimidation knows no bounds.
 
  • We were attacked by a psychic suppression mechanoid cluster right after I sent a lot of you out to deal with the western front of our little war. This means @Crabwhale @PsychoWarper @GreyFang82 and @Rakih_Elyan were missing. The suppression affected males only, but curiously didn't affect the best male melee fighter we had left, @Comiphorous- I think his hate protects him from his consciousness going down? So, anyways, I gathered him and what female fighters I could muster that were worth mentioning (we'd also just put @Mad_Dog_of_Fujiwara in her 84-hour Deathrest cycle, so she was out) and sent them out with a bunch of our soldiers from our settlements. The issue is... about half of the soldiers were in fact male. And affected by the reduction in consciousness, which affects many things including move speed. So half of our summoned army hit the enemy before the other half did. This is, obviously, very bad. Against my best wishes, I also sent my son, since he has significant magical capabilities that might make up for Psycho's absence. I had initially left @Tllmbrg at the base as a last line of defense but when the shit hit the fan I decided to have him enter the field to help his wife (who got downed in the flames alongside my son and two of Psycho's Undead). He used valiant charge to burst in to help Prichard, Psycho's female guard undead who we normally have guard the prison, and Comiphorous, who was still up in spite of the sheer quantity of bullets in his head (albeit moving at only 37% speed). Hindered by a 50% Consciousness (and thus a massive debuff to more or less everything), Lemberg, Prichard, and Jebediah continued the fight and took down the three largest threats, those being Centipede gunners armed with miniguns, energy machine guns, and explosive launchers respectively. Because Ethorel, @Tllmbrg's wife is deathless (she can't die unless decapitated, essentially) she just got back up and used Lay On Hands on my son before carrying him back: I didn't want to risk her death and she was still very weak in her current state. Lemberg's flight and shield allowed him to rush the turrets behind the remaining mechanoids and neutralize some of the threat (at great cost to himself, since by this point he was low on stamina). In the midst of the conflict I checked on Hadley, Psycho's undead who had been downed and entered a regeneration coma. The unfortunate truth is that Hadley's torso was shattered. He'll regenerate it back... slowly. The trio managed to deal with the rest of the Mechanoids, the self-destruction of the turrets being the most dangerous thing. Comiphorous setting himself on fire was probably what kept him alive as long as he was. Good day, and I think the only substantial wound aside from all those dead fodder soldiers I summoned, seems like about eight were killed was a burn scar on my son's lung.
  • Afterwards, we engaged in the raid on a Central Republic settlement- their farthest northern village as far as I can tell, nestled in a small cold desert valley near to the tundras ruled by the vikings. We slowly inched our way towards their main gate- they seemed reluctant to attack. Dunlap and Rya in front, as the undead meat shields, with @GreyFang82 @Crabwhale and @Rakih_Elyan several paces behind to offer support if necessary. Psycho was with them, the buffer between the melee fighters and the ranged line in the back. As we reached their gate they attacked, so we assumed better positions just past their guard towers: Psycho blocked off one side of the attack with Fog of Torment (Dunlap and Rya covered this side) whilst Grey and Rakih covered a side path they were taking. Crab teleported beyond the Fog of Torment to hit their archers. The only path out of the village was behind us, so... even when they began to flee, they had to pass through us. They died by the dozen. Their village had shit loot, we did them a favor.
  • While I was managing this fight, a lynx-like creature ate one of our Rox (read: giant ******* sheep). We killed the creature using our low-tier knights Curtis and Cathuella, but the beast had frost-tinged bites and left Cathuella with frostbite all over her body before it was done.
  • @Epiccheev has finally constructed our Hollow Golem! We bought a shitload of plasteel from a bulk goods trader. I'm happy to announce that this ************ has actual hax. Passive death aura and shit. We need to invest a lot to upgrade him. As for the name: I like Janus or Abaddon. I leave the decision to @Epiccheev, though, since this is his Son. I should also ask what you might want him built as: he has protective, aura (focus), buff (affinity), and second buff (coat of arms), all of which come in four flavors: fire, water, arcane, and death. No matter the choice, it will be some time before he is fully operational.
  • While all the strife and conflict and bloodshed was occurring, @Da3ggman carefully tended his pumpkin patch, tranquil and happy.
 
Y'all are on your way to the ******* Impids' place now, the firebreathing *****. Let's see how this goes, they're very weak in terms of durability.
 
Mr. Bambu said:
@Epiccheev has finally constructed our Hollow Golem! We bought a shitload of plasteel from a bulk goods trader. I'm happy to announce that this ************ has actual hax. Passive death aura and shit. We need to invest a lot to upgrade him. As for the name: I like Janus or Abaddon. I leave the decision to @Epiccheev, though, since this is his Son. I should also ask what you might want him built as: he has protective, aura (focus), buff (affinity), and second buff (coat of arms), all of which come in four flavors: fire, water, arcane, and death. No matter the choice, it will be some time before he is fully operational.
Click to expand...
Being a Golemancer paid off, this thing slaps!
Call it Abaddon and give it a fire/death build. (Also, does it look cool?)
 
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