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Be My Rimworld Pawns: Season 3

Look im pretty sure as long as your pawn can handle themselves with a gun, Bambu wouldnt mind putting them in lol
 
I will take all pawns, no matter how busted or insanely terrible.
 
Pyromaniac is honestly less bad than Recluse, the mood loss is awful in a place where living conditions are questionable at best.

We have so many pawns that I can generally dedicate one to following a pyromaniac around to instantly put out their flames; we have two pyros now, and while I don't want more, it is manageable for the most part
 
Mr. Bambu said:
Pyromaniac is honestly less bad than Recluse, the mood loss is awful in a place where living conditions are questionable at best.

We have so many pawns that I can generally dedicate one to following a pyromaniac around to instantly put out their flames; we have two pyros now, and while I don't want more, it is manageable for the most part
Click to expand...
Keep him grinding down on research and let him shoot things when they come along to cause issue, the burning passion thing should hopefully mitigate the Recluse malus

Never said the place was a utopia lol
 
Mr. Bambu said:
There was a moment in time where it looked like the game may have been irreparably bugged, wherein the fog of war covered the entire screen and made it impossible to discern anything. I fixed it, but looking online, things were decidedly spooky.

  • A horse @Lawiegg was hunting was struck by a piece of falling starcraft. Killed the ****** instantly. Lawie escaped.
  • The repair bench mod appears to be absolutely destroying the game via the aforementioned glitch; I learned this several times because @The_man_with_the_Midas_touch did not care if the game got broken, he very much wanted to mend our M60 we pilfered from an enemy, fog of war be damned.
  • We welcome @PsychoWarper and @Topaz404 to the Golgohrra Crusade, we immediately install a Reprocessor Stomach into Topaz to mitigate the Body Modder mood malus.
  • While hauling an elephant for butchering, @Armorchompy decided he was peeved off because of the pain he was in (on account of the mechanites coursing through his sensory nerves) and thought about how splendid it would be to try and murder @Shmooply. We stopped that nonsense of course.
  • We have more homosexual flirting of unknown cause, this time between @Arceus0x and @Topaz404. Arceus tried to woo Topaz by talking about... carrots. It didn't work, as neither were gay. I still have no ******* idea what causes this to happen but it is humorous to see. At the very least, no mood debuffs result from this, as they normally would, so perhaps it's just a prank, just trolling.
  • @Rakih_Elyan is no longer allowed to leave the lab except to sleep. We contemplate adding a bed in there so he can study in his sleep somehow.
  • It may be that the meta is to get one of you to go **** with any given siege until they blow themselves up. It's happened twice now where we trigger them to fire but they inevitably harm themselves to the point of total retreat, this time using @The_man_with_the_Midas_touch as the human bait willing sacrifice honorable hero who prompted the attack (solely because you were outside and nearby). You escaped unwounded, while they blew up infected ship chunks and three of their own tanks.
  • @Epiccheev is a rotten ************. In his crusade to equip random weapons, he has equipped a Persona Amplifying Rod, which was extremely valuable. He just took it for himself. It is now permanently bound to him. The bastard.
  • More and more of @DMUA's family join hostile factions to kill us, we've killed his pawn's dad, aunt, "kin", and sister so far. He is an emotional wreck, it is all @Epiccheev can do to help him forget even part of it via counseling.
  • Our first death is @Lawiegg. During a siege by a very large Mechanoid force (about 9000 points), a Centipede Blaster shot his head clean off, even destroyed his helmet in doing so. One of our Ignotus meatshields also had their leg torn off in this. Our guns were largely ineffective against their armor, which was pretty bad news - a grueling fight, even if the setup gave them no cover. We will resurrect him immediately, of course, but that was spooky.
  • We continue to attempt to be human in this hell. We have given beggars medicine, food, and money when asked, receiving nothing in return.
Click to expand...
No revivs for me?
 
  • In a particularly silly fight, we had several pawns who had equipped things rendering them unable to shoot, including Grave, our only pawn with a Charge weapon (an LMG). I need to go through and set up equipment permissions, it's just so annoying.
  • In the same fight, @Shmooply was downed, and they burned most of his gear right off his flesh. He got back up with miraculously no permanent wounds, but he'll be in the hospital for a few days, definitely. They also managed to kill our Spectral Steed, Nusjuro, which seems unfair but hey, whatever.
  • A particularly large pirate raid had three sets of reinforcements. Two pawns (none of you guys, our combat android Sentir and an Ignotus grunt named Nus) were separated from the base, and hunkered down; they actually proved very useful, as the android is equipped with a sniper rifle using armor piercing explosive rounds, making him quite lethal.
  • @Armorchompy became upset that he, as an undergrounder, was forced to walk around outside, so he began to sad wander... outside.
  • @Rakih_Elyan was sent to calm down Skye, one of our new recruits, when she was throwing a tantrum. As a result, she shot at the poor bastard. Now, Rakih had a shield belt, but it was still startling to hear random gunshots going off in our armory.
  • Got jumpscared by @Lawiegg wearing a balaclava. Thought he was wearing a skin-mask or something.
  • @DMUA and @Tllmbrg live a life dreaming of making great wonders whilst we have them sift through the old laundry of our enemies, harvesting it for hyperweave, devilstrand, and synthread. Life is spent in the darkness, walking from our warehouse to the crematorium where the clothes are deposited.
  • @Crabwhale has lost an ear while mining; rocks collapsed on his helmet and somehow cut it off through the plasteel. Quarries are dangerous places.
  • We babysat a cow for a few days, during which it consumed go-juice (super drugs). We got the reward despite its addiction to the substance.
  • We have finally cremated the last of the stringent built-up bodies littering the map, so cremation can take a break as we recycle all of their shitty gear.
  • @Arceus0x is going to give me a conniption as he is now also constantly equipping and unequipping his weapon, I don't know what to do about that. Some sort of bug. I just pray I can pay enough attention to make sure he's armed whenever he goes out to fight.
  • Lambert, a newer recruit we bought from a slave ship (she is a full colonist, not a slave) tried to convert @Rakih_Elyan to her barbaric ideology; he resisted, because his values are more important to him than pussy. Good man. Virgin.
  • The overall morale of the colony has skyrocketed, thanks in part to @Epiccheev and @Armorchompy producing enough food to have lavish meals for all who want them (ascetics prefer simple meals), and @DMUA making the place look beautiful. Our main living spaces have appreciable beauty values and as such, the desire to kill oneself within our halls has decreased significantly, with the only recent emotional break lately (aside from gourmand and pyromania) being @Topaz404 losing his ******* mind over (briefly) being in an ugly environment (one of the rooms we were in the process of beautifying). Oh and also something about his NPC lover who wasn't in the colony dying. That too.
  • Take a good long look at this picture. Really soak it in. That's Arceus right there. What's he wearing? Pretty heavy armor, a helmet... and a gunlink. A sort of tactical visor-eyepiece that helps with gunplay. What uh... what eye is it over? His right eye? THE EYE THAT GOT SHOT OUT? HOW ******* USEFUL!
  • We endured a raid from a group of Junkers, who wore Warcaskets. This is a big deal, because Warcaskets are pretty ******* scary. For the uninformed, a Warcasket is an ultra-heavy set of armor that you entomb an individual in to wear forever, preventing them from dying while within and generally reducing them to an engine of death and destruction. About 15 of them landed on our lawn to kill us, and while I was certain @Crabwhale could fight them, I wasn't sure he'd survive fighting 15 at once. Luckily we have one (1) charge weapon online with ample ammunition, and we've been cozying up to the Shattered Empire, so they sent a large contingent of reinforcements, free of charge. Between that and our own 12 men on the frontline (including @The_man_with_the_Midas_touch, @DMUA, @Rakih_Elyan, @Armorchompy, @Tllmbrg, @Lawiegg and @Shmooply) we basically just gunned them down, because either out of extreme luck or silliness, they all used melee weapons. Perhaps we took the dishonorable path in not killing them solely with melee but like. I feel pretty good about it.
The Crusade continues.
 
Mr. Bambu said:
@Rakih_Elyan was sent to calm down Skye, one of our new recruits, when she was throwing a tantrum. As a result, she shot at the poor bastard. Now, Rakih had a shield belt, but it was still startling to hear random gunshots going off in our armory.
Click to expand...
The pain of being the only sage in this colony.

Mr. Bambu said:
Lambert, a newer recruit we bought from a slave ship (she is a full colonist, not a slave) tried to convert @Rakih_Elyan to her barbaric ideology; he resisted, because his values are more important to him than pussy. Good man. Virgin.
Click to expand...
Wisdom before hoes. Knowledge before lust.
 
Your daily mental imagery.
Mr. Bambu said:
In the same fight, @Shmooply was downed, and they burned most of his gear right off his flesh. He got back up with miraculously no permanent wounds,
Click to expand...
4t9DSGZ.png

Mr. Bambu said:
@Armorchompy became upset that he, as an undergrounder, was forced to walk around outside, so he began to sad wander... outside.
Click to expand...
LZ2BSYg.png

Mr. Bambu said:
Take a good long look at this picture. Really soak it in. That's Arceus right there. What's he wearing? Pretty heavy armor, a helmet... and a gunlink. A sort of tactical visor-eyepiece that helps with gunplay. What uh... what eye is it over? His right eye? THE EYE THAT GOT SHOT OUT? HOW ******* USEFUL!
Click to expand...
yIyIJXH.png

Mr. Bambu said:
We endured a raid from a group of Junkers, who wore Warcaskets. This is a big deal, because Warcaskets are pretty ******* scary. For the uninformed, a Warcasket is an ultra-heavy set of armor that you entomb an individual in to wear forever, preventing them from dying while within and generally reducing them to an engine of death and destruction.
Click to expand...
ZwywDaG.png


And finally, the worst one yet (seriously why is it this painful to convert two images into a single gif ****)
Mr. Bambu said:
@Arceus0x is going to give me a conniption as he is now also constantly equipping and unequipping his weapon, I don't know what to do about that. Some sort of bug. I just pray I can pay enough attention to make sure he's armed whenever he goes out to fight.
Click to expand...
4B6zxAZ.gif
 
Mr. Bambu said:
being @Topaz404 losing his ******* mind over (briefly) being in an ugly environment (one of the rooms we were in the process of beautifying). Oh and also something about his NPC lover who wasn't in the colony dying. That too.
Click to expand...
Hey, ive got standards and expectations. This shit better be lookin baller
(oh yeah the dead lover sucks too i guess)
 
  • The first set of lovers arises... only it's none of you. A couple of you know Jake/Llamas, well he's the first guy to do it around here. Gukhrog and Lambert, sitting in a tree... doing nothing, because our ideology forbids lovemaking before marriage.
  • We have captured our first prisoner (!!!) after @Arceus0x shot him in the chest about a dozen times. A bunch of deserters drop-podded into our killbox, allowing us to near immediately take them out. Only the one survived, thanks to having significantly better armor than his peers. We welcome Esteos to our prison as a future marine of the Molokarian Legion.
  • After acquiring more prisoners, we had a prison break very quickly during an eclipse; I sent @Rakih_Elyan to beat them up. Unfortunately he killed Esteos, but not before we took his Deserter Armor, so there's that. We still have Orozco and June, two pirate mercenaries we captured during the last raid.
  • @Tllmbrg has made our first masterwork weapon, a UMP45 (Heavy SMG, for the non-Combat Extended players). He immediately equipped it for himself, and titled it Black Skunk (the weapon name generation in Rimworld is horrible, so @Tllmbrg, name your gun something better)
  • Enough mechanoid ships from Navigation Mechhive Romeo have landed on Golgohrra that their army is about to be "upgraded", a frightening proposal; unfortunately, I am unsure if we can reliably destroy their ships.
  • In an attempt to give more food variety, we have planted a small garden of 3x3 tiles, each growing a different type of food to seed into the general diet, which mostly comprises of green beans and carrots. @Armorchompy will grow cabbages, radishes, rice, pumpkins, peas, eggplants, pineapples, and buckwheat to add some variety to his dishes.
  • We've started receiving regular shipments of silver and purchased supplies from our outlying bases. The first from our new weapon manufacturing facility, Bastion Tonisius, delivered us a whole ten silver. They made the poor ****** walk through the desert to deliver it to us. By "they" I mean "we". We are their bosses, after all.
  • @The_man_with_the_Midas_touch has made us rich. The story: trader comes to colony selling bulk goods. Trader's animal dies to inevitable raid. We take 250ish cannon shells from animal. Exotic goods trade ship lands to do business. We sell all cannon shells for about 9.5k silver.
  • A major raid (about 9500 points) dropped right after we sent @Crabwhale on another solo adventure abroad. Still, we managed very well, with the only significantly wounded pawn being @The_man_with_the_Midas_touch; no permanent injuries on our side, and a couple more prisoners in the brig. Snipers seem to be exceptionally good for this, even though they falter against shields. I doubt it was compatible but man I would have loved to see @Arceus0x using Fuji's Hollow Being boltgun sniper from Season 1 here in Combat Extended, that thing would have been so much crazier than it already was.
  • On the topic of the continously growing Mechanoid presence, turns out other factions can also destroy their ships; the Tox Pillers took out a Mechanoid cruiser not far from our base. Stupendous, catastrophe delayed by a moment.
  • There's a ******* stock market? I'm going to make one of you Social lads the Company Quartermaster, you'll deal with the capitalists.
  • We have made @Epiccheev telepathic. Why not.
  • I have come to the conclusion that @PsychoWarper is some sort of fashion guru in his off-time, as he is wandering around our militant fortress wearing a blouse and hot pink trousers.
  • Accidentally had @Lawiegg not on his correct tasks (the task assignments revert to default when you die/get resurrected) so that dude has just been farming for months at this point, and honestly, it's been useful, so for my mistakes I have earned an assistant farmer; very nice
  • We can now make essentially any weapon short of spacer tech so if people have a preference for the kind of gun they want to be using (shotgun, machine gun, etc), do say so. Obviously goes without saying that @Rakih_Elyan is still Melee-pilled, and is in fact wielding a riot shield and a spacer-age mace covered in some sort of energy field that negates durability, so he's actually more kitted up than most of us.
 
Mr. Bambu said:
@Tllmbrg has made our first masterwork weapon, a UMP45 (Heavy SMG, for the non-Combat Extended players). He immediately equipped it for himself, and titled it Black Skunk (the weapon name generation in Rimworld is horrible, so @Tllmbrg, name your gun something better)
Click to expand...
Precise Severance
 
Mr. Bambu said:
After acquiring more prisoners, we had a prison break very quickly during an eclipse; I sent @Rakih_Elyan to beat them up.
Click to expand...
Send the scholar to beat up prisoners, somehow works.
Mr. Bambu said:
We can now make essentially any weapon short of spacer tech so if people have a preference for the kind of gun they want to be using (shotgun, machine gun, etc), do say so. Obviously goes without saying that @Rakih_Elyan is still Melee-pilled, and is in fact wielding a riot shield and a spacer-age mace covered in some sort of energy field that negates durability, so he's actually more kitted up than most of us.
Click to expand...
Sage warrior on the pay boys.
 
Rakih_Elyan said:
Send the scholar to beat up prisoners, somehow works.

Sage warrior on the pay boys.
Click to expand...
You're our melee guy who isn't Crab, and the last time Crab tried to suppress someone, he ripped their leg out with his bare hands.

The Sage Warrior is a cop, turns out.
Tllmbrg said:
Precise Severance
Click to expand...
admittedly sick name, much obliged 🙏
 
Mr. Bambu said:
We can now make essentially any weapon short of spacer tech so if people have a preference for the kind of gun they want to be using (shotgun, machine gun, etc), do say so.
Click to expand...
Machine gun and I think Black Skunk is a wonderful name, actually, not like the military's immune to being a little ironic
 
Make me the stock investor (I will immediately burst the economic bubble and make everyone broke)
 
Mr. Bambu said:
  • We have our first recruit, a labor camp orphan who offered to join should we deal with a nearby site disabling electronics in the area. Obviously, I just sent @Crabwhale to deal with the nuisance, as he can get there in less than a day and kill most enemies with little danger to himself. Her name is Skye, a night owl with great memory: not bad. She's not a great shot but she has a burning passion for shooting and joined with a pretty good assault rifle equipped, so we'll work on it. For now, she joins the mining and construction crews.
Click to expand...
Dick.png
 
  • More days pass by, more Mechhive starships are destroyed by other factions, this time the friendly mercenaries unfortunately titled (the game's decision, not mine) the Dark Terrorists.
  • @Arceus0x has accidentally become a fairly competent warden, a fact I attribute to his overtly spiky helmet. I didn't really look at the stats before but his armor is also insanely good (which... y'know, I'd hope so, it is masterwork cataphract armor), but he's approaching the damage reduction enjoyed by @Crabwhale with this shit.
  • A Waster-led siege of Caeles has given us a huge amount of extra titanium, as they were making their mortars out of it. @Lawiegg assisted in disrupting their siege by accidentally walking face-first into it because I wasn't paying attention. The upside is he lived! The downside is pain from gunshot wounds. Still, no permanent damage, and we sent out snipers in time to deal with the problem handily.
  • @Tllmbrg began a social fight in an extremely crowded room and chose the only woman present to fight, who he conveniently has 4x the melee skill of. He initiated the fight by calling her mama ugly. I would say he still lost the fight, though, as she punched him on... the feet, apparently, and successfully cracked 'em.
  • We finally got thrumbos (our number of positive events has been remarkably, uncannily low), so I had to kill them (if we had inspired taming up, we would have grabbed as many as we could, of course; maybe next time). @Lawiegg and @Shmooply got beat up a little bit, but their armor was good enough to weather the worst of it whilst the rest of us just gunned the ******* down.
  • We just let this guy keep a high-tech sword whilst in prison.
  • @Rakih_Elyan pulverized the skull of a prisoner trying to escape so I suppose we won't be recruiting that extra farmer.
  • ******* @Shmooply has gotten more diseases, this time malaria.
  • We were attacked by Yttakin (Wookies). I tried to overcome the siege with a limited number of you (most of you were sleeping), so I had @DMUA lead the two snipers out into the field to pick off as many as they could, hopefully just make them give up before fighting got bad. This did succeed, although it cost DMUA his nose- he was shot and hit precisely one time, at which point the nose came off. Turns out the M60 has insanely good range, so he sorta popped off, aside from the facial mutilation.
  • We had our largest "raid" yet, reaching the base-game maximum of 10,000 points. It was a manhunter pack of about 30 teleporting wolves. Fairly easily dealt with.
  • @Topaz404 has some sort of gear swapping trade agreement with @Arceus0x, I continuously find him equipping the shit Arceus just took off and vice versa, has happened like three times now. I'm only certain it's Arceus because he has a very specific color dye for his armor, and Topaz keeps taking it.

PsychoWarper said:
What the…
Click to expand...
You love them, I think. It's not visible, beneath the ceramic armor, so I didn't even know until I checked your inventory.
 
Mr. Bambu said:
@Topaz404 has some sort of gear swapping trade agreement with @Arceus0x, I continuously find him equipping the shit Arceus just took off and vice versa, has happened like three times now. I'm only certain it's Arceus because he has a very specific color dye for his armor, and Topaz keeps taking it.
Click to expand...
How in the f- ok then. I dont even know why this is happening, maybe the two of them are like "hey check this cool thing" and they let each other borrow it lmao
 
Mr. Bambu said:
  • More days pass by, more Mechhive starships are destroyed by other factions, this time the friendly mercenaries unfortunately titled (the game's decision, not mine) the Dark Terrorists.
  • @Arceus0x has accidentally become a fairly competent warden, a fact I attribute to his overtly spiky helmet. I didn't really look at the stats before but his armor is also insanely good (which... y'know, I'd hope so, it is masterwork cataphract armor), but he's approaching the damage reduction enjoyed by @Crabwhale with this shit.
  • A Waster-led siege of Caeles has given us a huge amount of extra titanium, as they were making their mortars out of it. @Lawiegg assisted in disrupting their siege by accidentally walking face-first into it because I wasn't paying attention. The upside is he lived! The downside is pain from gunshot wounds. Still, no permanent damage, and we sent out snipers in time to deal with the problem handily.
  • @Tllmbrg began a social fight in an extremely crowded room and chose the only woman present to fight, who he conveniently has 4x the melee skill of. He initiated the fight by calling her mama ugly. I would say he still lost the fight, though, as she punched him on... the feet, apparently, and successfully cracked 'em.
  • We finally got thrumbos (our number of positive events has been remarkably, uncannily low), so I had to kill them (if we had inspired taming up, we would have grabbed as many as we could, of course; maybe next time). @Lawiegg and @Shmooply got beat up a little bit, but their armor was good enough to weather the worst of it whilst the rest of us just gunned the ******* down.
  • We just let this guy keep a high-tech sword whilst in prison.
  • @Rakih_Elyan pulverized the skull of a prisoner trying to escape so I suppose we won't be recruiting that extra farmer.
  • ******* @Shmooply has gotten more diseases, this time malaria.
  • We were attacked by Yttakin (Wookies). I tried to overcome the siege with a limited number of you (most of you were sleeping), so I had @DMUA lead the two snipers out into the field to pick off as many as they could, hopefully just make them give up before fighting got bad. This did succeed, although it cost DMUA his nose- he was shot and hit precisely one time, at which point the nose came off. Turns out the M60 has insanely good range, so he sorta popped off, aside from the facial mutilation.
  • We had our largest "raid" yet, reaching the base-game maximum of 10,000 points. It was a manhunter pack of about 30 teleporting wolves. Fairly easily dealt with.
  • @Topaz404 has some sort of gear swapping trade agreement with @Arceus0x, I continuously find him equipping the shit Arceus just took off and vice versa, has happened like three times now. I'm only certain it's Arceus because he has a very specific color dye for his armor, and Topaz keeps taking it.


You love them, I think. It's not visible, beneath the ceramic armor, so I didn't even know until I checked your inventory.
Click to expand...
Sounds like something I would..
 
Mr. Bambu said:
@Topaz404 has some sort of gear swapping trade agreement with @Arceus0x, I continuously find him equipping the shit Arceus just took off and vice versa, has happened like three times now. I'm only certain it's Arceus because he has a very specific color dye for his armor, and Topaz keeps taking it.
Click to expand...
It's called fashion, darling. You wouldn't get it. 💅💅💅
 
Mr. Bambu said:
This did succeed, although it cost DMUA his nose- he was shot and hit precisely one time, at which point the nose came off.
Click to expand...
This is probably Karma for screaming "YES" when Nitsu got death sentenced
 
Here's my pawn
Name: Felonius Johnson
Child Backstory: Military Cadet
Adult Backstory: Warmonger
Traits: Bloodlust, Tough, Iron-Willed, Pessimist, Staggeringly Ugly
Skills: Melee, Shooting
 
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