Mr. Bambu
Suffer-Not-Injustice Bambu
VS Battles
Joke Battles
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- @Armorchompy got mugged for the food he just cooked by @PsychoWarper, who slapped him (Armor slapped back, neither could harm the other through their gear) and then pointed a gun at him until he left the food there, at which point Psycho ate one of the meals.
- There was a lot of power issues, so we're researching nuclear energy (since it worked so well last time...); therefore, not only is @Rakih_Elyan chained to his post in the Research Lab, so too is @Topaz404, we need this shit yesterday. Our hydroponics array cannot continue until it is researched and built and properly cooled.
- @DMUA has joined the Curse of Neverending Reequipment of his gun, since I assigned him a unique loadout with an M60. My unending rage continues.
- @Rakih_Elyan became upset because he was hungry that he decided he was going to destroy our advanced geothermal generator in retaliation, to which I, in real life, audibly said "The **** he is" towards, and ordered him arrested. That shit costs advanced components, a rare commodity as it stands, and is the only reason we can currently sustain what power we're using.
- We had a strange raid of 10000 points... a shitload of VERY heavily armed enemies, with basically no body armor. Helmets, yes, of ultratech design (like, matching @Crabwhale's stuff), and the best weapons in the game, but really shit armor/hazmat suits. So, I sent the snipers out (now including @ProbNotAFelon, solely because he snagged a sniper off the shelves immediately, a Hecate Mk II), covered by @DMUA and Crabwhale. This was mostly tolerable, however Crab died (more than once) in this, as the electric damage bypassed his armor significantly, and instead fried his brain. He got back up, of course, as something as petty as his brain and upper torso exploding from shock does not usually keep him down. Worth mentioning that @Lawiegg was dragged into the conflict because he tried to drink a bottle of beer that was left on the ground in the middle of the skirmish whilst on an alcohol binge, which I thought was a minor issue in comparison to the skirmish itself, but ostensibly not. He survived, with only a little bit of a fried brain, because unlike Crab he goes down when in pain.
- Just as we finished this major battle, about a dozen people in the colony (including some of you) got malaria and sensory mechanites, which means we're in downtime for awhile. I assume this is a result of Crab's multiple deaths; the storyteller explicitly punishes you, in an upscaling way, should anyone die. So. That sucks. Still, upside, this represents a huge bonus in terms of gear, since we have taken their weapons and trooper armor (which, while well below value of their weapons, is still nicer than the composite/flak gear we've been using)
- @Shmooply has ******' gutworms again.
- I THINK I have solved the issue with the Cursed Legion (@DMUA @Arceus0x and others). I have tried removing mods I figured would conflict for some time, in particular mods that specified what weapons you should be using; I thought they were conflicting with Combat Extended's loadout system. And then, a dream, a vision that arrived to me when I rested in my subconscious: one of the mods did not do that, but it did define a list of weapons they could or could not use. I had never adjusted or interacted with the list, and more or less just discarded it. Well it turns out, that was a bad idea. So it was just telling you guys that you could not equip the gun I gave you, while Combat Extended then sent you back to that gun, because it defined that weapon as the only one you could use. As such, this nefarious mod has been removed, and Combat Extended reigns supreme.
- @Arceus0x fed a prisoner raw meat, I think as an act of rebellion/sadism? I have them all set to getting fine meals (not lavish), and this particular prisoner has no obvious reason to not be fed at least simple, if not fine (we have ample supplies of both). They have a robust digestion, so they won't get food poisoning, but surely it just tastes bad? Unsure why that guy did that.
- In the colony, we have: sensory mechanites, malaria, plague, muscle parasites, flu, and like two other singular afflictions on @Shmooply; this is hell.
- Only just now noticed that we're recruiting a fellow, a Venator named Conovo, that @Topaz404 shot in the heart, he still has the scar on the organ itself. Less than ideal, but we'll manage.
- Speaking of @Topaz404, the second he woke up, he set fire to his own bed, in the barracks, so like twenty people sprang up to undo the flame. He then set fire to @Rakih_Elyan's bed, who was still inside of the bed. He didn't repeat this for @Tllmbrg but instead set fire to his nightstand. Satisfied, he set his own bed alight for the last time and left the barracks to commit arson against our carrots.
- A team led by @DMUA and @PsychoWarper has completed our nuclear reactor, now serving as the primary source of energy for our base of operations. An incredible 34,000W is produced here, which is an insane amount of juice for Rimworld.
- A final grim note: although other colonists of lesser note have died up to this point, it is with sorrow I announce another colonist death of some actual worthiness: @Shmooply had his head blown off in a skirmish against a squad of Deserters that drop-podded past our killbox. A single raingun coil shot that missed @Crabwhale and hit him ripped it from his neck. Sometimes you just get unlucky. I'll be sending out more groups on missions now, in the hopes of getting a resurrector mech serum. Until then, you go in the freezer.