Be My Rimworld Pawns

[Drite77]

We have our first character death.

We were asked to distract a mechanoid cluster for long enough for another group to take out the hive in return for some really good shit, including a regen implant. The list of enemies that would be coming as part of this was really large but I accepted anyways, since @Crabwhale is sort of cracked at killing mechs due to his power maul's EMP thing.

Well they must have known about him because he was set on fire instantly and downed.

The fight was rough, but we won- and without casualties, until the second to last guy exploded and blew @PhantomØ4 to smithereens. Not sure if the rest of you will die yet- @Shmooply has three hours to live at time of typing, and Crab is, as previously mentioned, mostly burn wounds. Relatively confident that it's just Phantom, but that means we now lack a craftsman good enough to make most of our shit, which is a serious impediment.

Maybe I can get a mission to resurrect him, who knows. Til then, I need to place a crypt.

Can you make armor the new craft person since he is new? Also RIP

 

[Mr. Bambu]

Can you make armor the new craft person since he is new? Also RIP

I could, but he has ass tier crafting by default, possibly the lowest of anybody in the colony. Judging by existing skills, the AI guy I recruited to be our big dumb meat wall is now technically the most suited to the job, so I'll be training him up.

NOOOOOOOOOOOOOO WTFFFFFFFFFFFFFF

yeah, sorry chief, they got you pretty good

 

[Mad_Dog_of_Fujiwara]

anyways your kid lost a finger and a toe for sitting in the freezer, completely of his own will, I have no idea why he keeps doing that.

She takes after her own mother, I suppose.

EDIT: One of the children cremated him and I didn't notice. Phantom is gone for good.

Hope it was mine.

 

[Drite77]

NOOOOOOOOOOOOOO WTFFFFFFFFFFFFFF

Yeaaah... sorry... anywhere you would like your ashes to go?

 

[Crabwhale]

EDIT: One of the children cremated him and I didn't notice. Phantom is gone for good.

Not only are children stupid and utterly worthless, they are actively detrimental. Just like real life.

 

[Epiccheev]

Welp, anyone wanna take a few levels in necromancy?

 

[PhantomØ4]

She takes after her own mother, I suppose.


Hope it was mine.

[Redacted because I don't wanna be in RVR nor cancelled]

 

[Mr. Bambu]

Welp, anyone wanna take a few levels in necromancy?

as I said, Rimworld has resurrection stuff even without mods, but his body's been cremated, shit's gone. We'll erect a statue of him later.

 

[Comiphorous]

as I said, Rimworld has resurrection stuff even without mods, but his body's been cremated, shit's gone. We'll erect a statue of him later.

yeah, a statue of a handsome man with a phone for a head is needed way before that.

 

[Crabwhale]

yeah, a statue of a handsome man with a phone for a head is needed way before that.

Respect the fallen ************. This game isn't your personal ego trip smh

 

[Comiphorous]

Respect the fallen *****. This game isn't your personal ego trip smh

Hey, they didn't 'fall', they were blown into smitheries and a goddamn rat child with no toes cremated the bastard. respect the uh... blown up. me being egotistical is the least of our problems here.

a bigger problem here is the child cremating people. can we kill the child?

 

[azontr]

If we kill the child can I turn the bones into ornaments (to add to my trophy collection)

 

[Comiphorous]

If we kill the child can I turn the bones into ornaments (to add to my trophy collection)

 

[Drite77]

Hey, they didn't 'fall', they were blown into smitheries and a goddamn rat child with no toes cremated the bastard. respect the uh... blown up. me being egotistical is the least of our problems here.

a bigger problem here is the child cremating people. can we kill the child?

I think the children are going to kill themselves

 

[Comiphorous]

I think the children are going to kill themselves

considering it sleeps in a freezer, i wouldn't be surprised.

I feel there would be more closure if someone did it themselves though. maybe the cannibal can do it.

oh wait.

 

[Drite77]

considering it sleeps in a freezer, i wouldn't be surprised.

I feel there would be more closure if someone did it themselves though. maybe the cannibal can do it.

oh wait.

Too soon

 

[Crabwhale]

I call dibs on any dead children to eat in the future btw @Mr._Bambu

 

[Comiphorous]

Too soon

i genuinely forgot phantom was the only cannibal imma be real.

 

[PhantomØ4]

Aight imma unfollow it’s too much to be the first death and the telephone guy won’t let me be ashes in pieces

 

[Epiccheev]

Fr, now we have nobody to craft weapons and nobody to dispose of corpses

 

[Drite77]

Fr, now we have nobody to craft weapons and nobody to dispose of corpses

We better find one or my research will be useless '-'

 

[Comiphorous]

Aight imma unfollow it’s too much to be the first death and the telephone guy won’t let me be ashes in pieces

Bruuuuh the kid didn't let you be a pile of gore in pieces

 

[Epiccheev]

as I said, Rimworld has resurrection stuff even without mods, but his body's been cremated, shit's gone. We'll erect a statue of him later.

Damn.
Can we hire a druid to use his dust to summon a dust devil tho?

 

[Drite77]

Damn.
Can we hire a druid to use his dust to summon a dust devil tho?

Or summon a hyppogriff

 

[Drite77]

Ohhhhhhhh, I get it, nevermind my answer '-'

 

[Mr. Bambu]

If we kill the child can I turn the bones into ornaments (to add to my trophy collection)

If only this were Dwarf Fortress

 

[Crabwhale]

Also is it bad that every time I read the word "Rimworld" all I can think is Discworld.

 

[Shmooply]

If only this were Dwarf Fortress

There better be a mod that allows you to customize your dwarves before the start of the game.

 

[Mr. Bambu]

Today's events that are either notable/relevant:

• A glitch with the Sidearms mod destroyed all of our best weapons so I brought them back after having a heart attack watching them just disappear completely. Removing the mod from the game is in consideration.
• @Mad_Dog_of_Fujiwara created a statue just titled "Crap". It's in her room and depicts a writer surrounded by automatons.
• @Crabwhale was sent on a small expedition to a city that was being bombarded by orbital lasers, wherein he stepped inside, grabbed all of their drugs, booze, and coffee, and fled the scene.
• @Epiccheev failed his first operation, which is exceptionally poor timing since the operation was replacing the hand of our new craftsperson (his own was blown off in combat) with a very expensive advanced bionic limb. On an unrelated note, I will be having him do brain surgery later today so... we'll see how it goes. Gods bless whoever is under his scalpel.
• In a dream vision, I've learned why the children are already like five years old: apparently they'll grow 4x as fast until they're adults, so it will only take a few in-game years for them to be actual people, which is exciting (presuming they don't die by then, @ImmortalDread's kid keeps getting hunted by panthers).
• @Comiphorous threw a concert on his harpischord that we made for him. It made everyone happy except for @PsychoWarper who decided to stand outside in the rain for the duration of it.

All for now.

 

[Mad_Dog_of_Fujiwara]

@Mad_Dog_of_Fujiwara created a statue just titled "Crap". It's in her room and depicts a writer surrounded by automatons.

Oh, just like real life.

 

[Epiccheev]

I will be having him do brain surgery later today so

Is it plain old brain surgery or am i trying to give someone superpowers here?

 

[Mr. Bambu]

Is it plain old brain surgery or am i trying to give someone superpowers here?

Implanting an AI learning assistant in them, haven't decided who I'm giving it to yet.

 

[ImmortalDread]

In a dream vision, I've learned why the children are already like five years old: apparently they'll grow 4x as fast until they're adults, so it will only take a few in-game years for them to be actual people, which is exciting (presuming they don't die by then, @ImmortalDread's kid keeps getting hunted by panthers).

How old is my son?

 

[Mr. Bambu]

The first generation of kids are five. There are now a few more, of which a second son is also yours (literally just born) named Vidimir.

Now, for the pre-work update for a couple hours of game time:

• @Setsuna_tenma now has a ******* laser gun. he set fire to the jungle while hunting a monkey.
• @Comiphorous lost his ear in the heat of battle against a siege. Otherwise the battle went overwhelmingly well, for a refreshing change of pace.
• @Mad_Dog_of_Fujiwara has changed his name from "Nobura" to "Boy", perhaps just in case anybody was confused since he isn't man enough to sacrifice a few fingers to the Demon Fridge. The child is glitching the game out by apparently accepting ten new jobs per tick from unknown sources, I may have to BFR him. EDIT: Turns out his "job" was trying to get back into his baby crib, so assigning him a bed in the kid's room worked.
• @Crabwhale, Setsuna, and @BasedNecoScaler69 embarked on a Lord of the Rings-esque adventure to clear out a nearby crypt containing a legendary viking hero and potentially recruit them to our colony- this will probably end up in a death so I sent the AI guy made of scar tissue with them for good measure. UPDATE: It went well, we didn't recruit the guy because he punched Crabwhale in the nose when he woke up out of cryo-sleep so we gunned him down. Took his shit though, which is pretty nice, plus he went to bed with hundreds of gold so somebody's getting something cool made out of gold in the near future.
• @ImmortalDread your son has grown to the age of 7 and has the option of choosing to be sexist, nudist, a psychopath, or an extreme body modder, which to my knowledge is more or less the choice all 7 year olds have to make when the time comes. For him, I've chosen body modder since we'll probably be loading the kid up with artificial limbs and shit anyways.
• @Armorchompy is going to be a farmer no matter how much he protests.
• We're almost finished with constructing a monument for the Super High Tech Funtime Empire (Imperium of God) and in return they're gonna give us a persona weapon, which I have no idea regarding what it actually is but it sounds cool as ****. Probably gonna give it to @azontr so he can match Crab's Zeushammer and Comiphorous' psychic wizard staff thing.

And for the record, the throne room goes ******* CRAZY hard. Even with the loss of one of our excellent statues (made by yours truly, I've somehow become the main art guy of the colony, and I'm great at it), the shit is off the damn charts.

Great work everyone, all around. I've purposefully made myself the least useful ************ in the colony since... well, who am I going to report my own antics to, eh?

 

[Comiphorous]

@Comiphorous lost his ear in the heat of battle against a siege. Otherwise the battle went overwhelmingly well, for a refreshing change of pace.

well shucks. has anyone eaten my lost ear yet?

 

[Mad_Dog_of_Fujiwara]

The child is glitching the game out by apparently accepting ten new jobs per tick from unknown sources, I may have to BFR him. EDIT: Turns out his "job" was trying to get back into his baby crib, so assigning him a bed in the kid's room worked.

That's how you know he's my kid... grind never stops

 

[Drite77]

made by yours truly, I've somehow become the main art guy of the colony, and I'm great at it

Maybe it is a sign kek

 

[Mr. Bambu]

well shucks. has anyone eaten my lost ear yet?

No, Phantom died.

 

[azontr]

persona weapon

OMG like from the hit Japanese Role-Playing Game (RPG) Persona from the Shin Megami Tensei series!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!

 

[Comiphorous]

No, Phantom died.

can you train the rat child into a cannibal? i feel like a cannibal is somewhat useful compared to someone who likes to sleep in freezers and lose limbs.