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Be My Rimworld Pawns Season 2

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Arceus0x said:
ZomboMeme_18032024011136.jpg

The breakdown
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Shockingly accurate depiction of my current mental state.
 
Between the Sun consistently disappearing from existence and being called an Oyster Fujiwara is gonna drown her sorrows in human flesh lol.
 
Damn... my pawn really is surrounded by crazy mfs (compliment & derogatory)

At least we still living
 
Tllmbrg said:
This is the most in-character thing I have done
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You were like the least cool terminator installment to date, it was a little awe-inspiring to see the fervor with which your pawn leaped into action at the sight of semi-hostile children

  • @PsychoWarper is hereby named Dragonslayer, as he solo'd a wyvern that was hunting Novak, one of our recruits
  • @Arceus0x is addicted to drugs. We do not have any more of this drug. Arceus will now have a very bad couple of months. Update: Because he was so ******* upset about not getting one drug, he began taking another (opium). He is now addicted to two different drugs and is suffering withdrawal from both. I'm losing my ******* mind WE NEED OUR COOK AND HE'S JUST SLOSHED IN THE BACK ROOM GOD DAMMIT. He physically cannot move until one of these goes away.
  • So it turns out Paresian limbs (the highest tier of medieval prosthetics) require about 5000 work to produce, as well as solid gold; this is more than even the most advanced armors in the game, and all it does is give normal efficiency to the missing body part (minus obvious things like eyes- a paresian eye is fancy and gives social impact bonuses but not much else). So our limbless people had better ******* preserve what they got, these ************* aren't cheap.
  • @Epiccheev began violently assaulting @Da3ggman even though the latter refuses to fight back. We enter a dark and wretched time for our kingdom, ruled by despots and crooks.
  • @GreyFang82's wife was slaughtered by Star Vampires hunting us down, she was caught out in the field with no preparation. They caved in her ******* chest cavity, shit's horrific. @PsychoWarper @Comiphorous and @Crabwhale made fairly short work of them once they got on the scene but she was dead even before Psycho flew in. We'll do the same as Nierre- place her in a frozen sarcophagus and hope to find something to resurrect her. Once we have Psycho's magic facilities online, I fully intend to make @Da3ggman into a priest so we can finally use that resurrection spell: until then, we wait.
  • We now have a trading post built to store our wealth and trade with other civilizations/space ships. It communicates via messenger bird, however, so I don't know how the latter works really. Anyways, if we're saying Arceus is in charge of the Pie-Eyed Boar, @GreyFang82 is most certainly in charge of the Aegis Toll House.
  • We now have pets for quite a few of you. @Crabwhale has Harvey the fleshbeast, @Armorchompy has Jack the ripper hound, @PsychoWarper has Nightbane the undead thrumbo, and @Rakih_Elyan still has Strick... a golden retriever. As well as an assortment of other creatures: a three-headed wolf named Kevaros, three aves (giant bipedal bird mounts) named Hermes, Odysseus, and Ajax, we have the previously mentioned Artax (giant marmot thing) and a nightling named Eligor. Armor's ex-wife mouse lady is training a lot of these and has bonded with Kevaros as well as a shock goat named Gigi.
  • Raid after raid, Aegis perseveres. Most recently we were struck nigh-simultaneously by a portal to the elemental plane of earth that spat forth huge amounts of toxins (and elementals), as well as a visit from the black hive, a more elite version of the normal insects of the game. Everyone is alive minus another one of Psycho's undead, but boy does that help with clearing out the corpse stockpile but more than a little grumpy- @Comiphorous even attempted to destroy our legendary harpsichord because of how upset he was at something trivial like having an open, untreated, objectively life threatening wound left unattended for about nine hours while our doctors got their beauty sleep.
 
Mr._Bambu said:
@Arceus0x is addicted to drugs. We do not have any more of this drug. Arceus will now have a very bad couple of months. Update: Because he was so ******* upset about not getting one drug, he began taking another (opium). He is now addicted to two different drugs and is suffering withdrawal from both. I'm losing my ******* mind WE NEED OUR COOK AND HE'S JUST SLOSHED IN THE BACK ROOM GOD DAMMIT. He physically cannot move until one of these goes away.
Click to expand...
 
Mr._Bambu said:
In brighter news, @Nierre is back, having been dead for nearly an entire year. At time of writing she's incapacitated due to resurrection sickness, now we just have to hope she was lucky and didn't pick up the degenerative resurrection chronic diseases.
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Mr._Bambu said:
The enemy, a group of large Deep Ones, entered very close to said checkpoint- closer than any of our pawns were, which meant they could get through it without resistance. I had who I could post up where they could but it was a ******* bloodbath. @Nierre was within 2 hours of dying again simply due to being the first combatant to arrive- a ranged pawn against all melee enemies.
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bro- i JUST got back. can't believe im getting spawn camped like this. this game just doesnt wanna see me win.
 
Mr._Bambu said:
but more than a little grumpy- @Comiphorous even attempted to destroy our legendary harpsichord because of how upset he was at something trivial like having an open, untreated, objectively life threatening wound left unattended for about nine hours while our doctors got their beauty sleep.
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I might be a little psychopathic in my mehtods, but i mean good deep down.
 
Comiphorous said:
I might be a little psychopathic in my mehtods, but i mean good deep down.
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yeah well value-wise it's worth more than both of your arms so watch it, punk
 
  • The Imperium offered us a quest to build a colossal structure of stone as a monument to one of their nobles. The reward was either 14,000 silver worth of gold, or... Hernandez. Hernandez' highest skill is a 4 out of 20 in cooking, and he has no burning passions. He is one of the worst pawns I've ever seen. We're not going to do the quest, as stone is sort of a big ask at the moment (making our own stuff and whatnot) but like... man, what an offer. We could get wealth beyond measure, or a Space Idiot.
  • My child was born with the "Warlock" trait. I didn't even know that was a thing. ****** is like a year old and already selling his soul.
  • A large raid of brigands saw us truly struggle to survive against three groups of them approaching in staggered formations. @Crabwhale performed admirably by teleporting past their melee units to fight the ranged people but ultimately succumbed to being stunned/burned by overwhelming amounts of lightning. @Comiphorous had to be excused early on due only to the fact that his left side was nearly ripped open by an enemy necromancer's death bolts, @Armorchompy was drafted unwillingly into battle because he was passing by trying to eat some berries that just so happened to be on the other side of the enemy forces, and @GreyFang82 managed to pass through combat without being wounded minus a single instance of friendly fire, my bad. @PsychoWarper's undead continue to be the primary sacrifices in these conflicts as they make convenient frontliners, given that he can replenish from the enemy.
  • @Arceus0x has proven a uniquely valuable resource for when I have no allies he can friendly fire upon, his staff of blazing power remains a devastating (albeit inaccurate) weapon. Faced with a small raid on his own, the dude cleared out half of them in two barrages from the staff, sufficient to cause them to begin retreating. Didn't even need to get other people into formation.
  • @Nierre has achieved the least valuable inspiration to date, which is a "farming frenzy". In winter. At least she's happy.
  • Speaking of Arceus, we've gotten a good set of abilities from his wild magic finally: he has a time-stop bubble, an AOE constant damage lightning cloud, and the ability to encase someone in stone to remove them from combat. All good things, I figure.
  • @Da3ggman and the undead have been hard at work harvesting goblinite, allowing us to maintain a steady flow of steel by right of this alone. We still cannot make steel on our own, in spite of our other, more impressive technological advancements: so far the only crafting books we've found have been advanced cooking, and noble blades- however, none of us can actually use these, since we lack the books for the intermediate steps in cooking/blades respectively.
  • @Mad_Dog_of_Fujiwara has created our first legendary art piece, a large sculpture made of bone depicting animals (specifically a gorilla and a goshawk) playing instruments.
  • We have a flat-out High 8-C feat- not many scale to it, because the Cthonian frightens me, but it's there.
 
Mr._Bambu said:
@Arceus0x has proven a uniquely valuable resource for when I have no allies he can friendly fire upon, his staff of blazing power remains a devastating (albeit inaccurate) weapon. Faced with a small raid on his own, the dude cleared out half of them in two barrages from the staff, sufficient to cause them to begin retreating. Didn't even need to get other people into formation
Click to expand...
 
Tllmbrg said:
Well who scales to it
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So far:
  • @Crabwhale as a "likely", and definitely with his class abilities
  • @PsychoWarper as a "likely", and definitely with his magic
  • @Rakih_Elyan with his class abilities even though I never have any ******* ki to use them because it isn't a passive gainable energy, you need to meditate to get a little bit and then it slowly drains away, annoying bastard class
  • You, Fujiwara, and Comiphorous are all tenuous/pretty close, but not close enough I'd call it "likely"
A lot of Psycho's undead could also scale, even if they attack very slowly. I've been targeting xenotypes with high damage genes, which they keep in undeath.
 
Mr._Bambu said:
So far:
  • @Crabwhale as a "likely", and definitely with his class abilities
  • @PsychoWarper as a "likely", and definitely with his magic
  • @Rakih_Elyan with his class abilities even though I never have any ******* ki to use them because it isn't a passive gainable energy, you need to meditate to get a little bit and then it slowly drains away, annoying bastard class
  • You, Fujiwara, and Comiphorous are all tenuous/pretty close, but not close enough I'd call it "likely"
A lot of Psycho's undead could also scale, even if they attack very slowly. I've been targeting xenotypes with high damage genes, which they keep in undeath.
Click to expand...
Sick
 
Mr._Bambu said:
@Rakih_Elyan with his class abilities even though I never have any ******* ki to use them because it isn't a passive gainable energy, you need to meditate to get a little bit and then it slowly drains away, annoying bastard class
Click to expand...
Patience test class.
 
Nierre said:
Oh shit we got calcs too!
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may as well, right? VSBW-centric event, may as well document stuff like that. adds to the fun.

  • @Nierre has a third goddamned child on the way, who will be the death of us.
  • @PsychoWarper has caused international turmoil by trying to assist one of our allies in a large-scale battle and accidentally blowing up a friendly with his Death Bolts. We're no longer allies, just neutral. We shall win them back via providing inn services (this has led to several civilizations considering us allies- the key to anyone's heart is their stomach)
  • A large scale battle on our front lawn allowed @Arceus0x to retrieve a small dose of opium, thus further prolonging his addiction, we gotta crucify this dude
  • We have the Aegis Toll House (run by @GreyFang82) and we have the Pie-Eyed Boar (run by @Arceus0x even though it doesn't ******* seem like it these days, see previous bullet point), our next goal is either a keep fortification to prevent invasions or a mage college so @PsychoWarper can finally set up all of our magic experiments (golems, magic gear, teaching classes/spells to people, etc). Thoughts?
  • @Crabwhale's eldritch knight setup allows him to teleport and deal a critical strike when he does so on a target- it's very good. What makes it even better, now that I've learned it, is that he also teleports whatever creature he's mounted on. He teleported himself and Harvey behind enemy lines on the last raid.
  • People want to marry @Epiccheev, three diplomatic marriage requests recently- one must assume that they heard he can repair gear via magic and now he's high value. After learning this news, Cheev entered an insulting spree against a four-year-old child, following him for five hours before being asked politely to knock it off by @Rakih_Elyan, who had to stop performing his stage acting in order to do so.
  • @Comiphorous is on "kill any bastard animal that wants to enter our kibble supply" duty and has thus far slaughtered three faerie dragons, about a dozen racoons/hares/rats/squirrels, a boomrat, and a dark vandal. There was also a rust monster that was getting snippy but Comiphorous went to sleep so instead I just had one of the NPCs handle it.
 
  • @Arceus0x entered into one of his classic sprees of mass arson while I had Suto, @Armorchompy's ex-wife, follow him around to put out the fires. She insulted and threatened him three times during this exchange, which I find funny.
  • We've finally made contact with Veerpaus, which is an enclave of magic users that populate the world. First one of their caravans came by to offer us magic shit (we partooketh, @Crabwhale got abilities that increased his bodily healing in exchange for a constant supply of stamina and another melee attack, and we got a couple of class books- dunno who shall get what), and now we're getting visitors to the Pie-Eyed Boar from them. They are ******* loaded with coin- unfortunately, our crops were hit a bit back so we're low on provisions to offer. Some ale left, decent bit of tea, but that's it. We shall hope to get all of their money, as is Right and Just.
  • With the rise of our many external settlements that we tax, we have gained a constant stream of money. With the low-technology of our society, we have no means of rapid travel for our taxes to reach us, and so we have constant visitors bearing trivial amounts of silver to us- which adds up to very healthy economies.
  • @Armorchompy is responsible for machine-gunning down about two-dozen rabid huskies that attacked us at a very inopportune moment when nobody was really close to our defenses. This highlights both the insane cruelty of the Italians and the macabre comedy of seeing wave after wave of normal dog fall to the shrapnel of crossbow bolts shredding through the air. He of course had the assistance of a meat(less) shield in the form of yet more of Psycho's endless reserve of undead.
  • We have finally attacked the sleeping ancients in a crypt buried within the mountain- we've known of it being there for some time but now felt confident in opening it up to defeat what was inside. It turns out, it was only one mechanoid, a scythe-armed murder robot that was fairly easily downed by the frontline of this endeavor, @Rakih_Elyan and @Tllmbrg- I removed them and the others gathered from immediate military service and had some of the ghouls open up the cryptosleep caskets to find two survivors among the corpses. One was an unimpressive house servant whom we nevertheless cured back to health- she opted to leave for greener pastures. The other decided to remain when she was healed, some sort of fox-woman named Ayaka who I believe is some sort of minor divinity. She requires us to build a minor shrine to her so that she can feed on the worship, and in return she gets magical abilities. In addition to this, she is a Shadow-caster, which gives her both magic and might abilities- I don't know if this is bugged but it seems very potent, it's just a shame that she has awful combat stats and thus will likely never use them. Nevertheless, interesting.
  • @GreyFang82 has been given a masterwork crusader helm adorned with fine cloth and wrought from silver- it will further improve his negotiating abilities, such that in the right conditions, he has bought and sold at a 1:1 value- this means he has managed perfect financial efficiency.
  • One of Psycho's two original undead, Sarai, had her mother show up as a visitor to the Pie-Eyed Boar. She was disgusted by viewing an undead- one must wonder if she ever even realized that her daughter was underneath the rot and death, or if she was blissfully unaware of the exact cause of the disappearance of her only kin in this lonesome world. Whatever the case, she had a good time.
  • @Mad_Dog_of_Fujiwara has a particular talent for getting the "Inspired Creativity" high mood buff, which for the unaware raises the quality of the next item she creates by two levels, and is the only means of allowing colonists to create legendary equipment, furniture, etc. Fujiwara is basically capable in all skills where this would be used, but she is most talented at (and most passionate about) artwork, which suits me fine because we need high-quality art to beautify our base, thus raising the mood of everybody there. I've commissioned her to carve out a relief from huge chunks of rose quartz we've gathered from meteors (and some that we've even brought back from quests).
  • We're installing a hot tub powered by a geyser at the Pie-Eyed Boar. Gotta love hot springs.
  • Work has begun on the arcane college- it will be built under the northeastern mountain surrounding Aegis. @PsychoWarper @GreyFang82 @Epiccheev as all of you are magic, you are invited to name the place, if it is your wish. Arceus is also magic, but he already named the inn.
 
Mr._Bambu said:
@Arceus0x entered into one of his classic sprees of mass arson while I had Suto, @Armorchompy's ex-wife, follow him around to put out the fires. She insulted and threatened him three times during this exchange, which I find funny.
Click to expand...

Mr._Bambu said:
We're installing a hot tub powered by a geyser at the Pie-Eyed Boar. Gotta love hot springs.
Click to expand...
I am quite literally becoming this guy
 
Mr._Bambu said:
@GreyFang82 has been given a masterwork crusader helm adorned with fine cloth and wrought from silver- it will further improve his negotiating abilities, such that in the right conditions, he has bought and sold at a 1:1 value- this means he has managed perfect financial efficiency.
Click to expand...
I have become optimized. I truly am the negotiator.
Mr._Bambu said:
Work has begun on the arcane college- it will be built under the northeastern mountain surrounding Aegis. @PsychoWarper @GreyFang82 @Epiccheev as all of you are magic, you are invited to name the place, if it is your wish. Arceus is also magic, but he already named the inn.
Click to expand...
My vote for the name is to be either super professional or completely head empty, such as:

The College of Arcane Physics

or

School of Big Shooty Lasers (n' Stuff)
 
  • @Armorchompy's ex-wife has died of a heart attack at the age of 30. We will bury the mouse-woman but I don't have any strong inclinations to bring her back, certainly not before Grey's dead wife. Lotta dead wives in this playthrough, come to think of it. @Da3ggman was the speaker at her funeral and gave a lackluster performance, which makes sense because he didn't really know her.
  • @Da3ggman was assaulted in his home immediately following that, because Suto's pet shock goat went feral and began accosting him. It's not a particularly powerful beast but Eggman refused to defend himself (even though I've given him a farm tool axe to help with plantwork, he is still a pacifist) and so @GreyFang82 had to come over from next door to put the sorry thing down.
  • @PsychoWarper was fighting a group of Thrumbos when I noticed that one of them had died because his Fog of Torment melted its ******* brain while it was still alive. This spell is cooler than I thought.
  • The homeless people we housed apparently made it to orbit and repaid us very handsomely. If this were a technological save, the neurocalculator they gave us would have been a gamechanger. Still, the more tech-loving heathens from the stars will pay well for it, and she also gave us a very valuable art piece and a healthy amount of plasteel. All in all, very worth.
PsychoWarper said:
Armbrarlo (or Aegis) Institute (or College) of Arcane (or Aether) Study
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(for the unaware, Armbrarlo is the name of the mountain range our civilization resides in, and Aegis is the name of the colony itself- although we may well build another one, given that we can make portals somehow via magic)
 
Mr._Bambu said:
@Armorchompy's ex-wife has died of a heart attack at the age of 30. We will bury the mouse-woman but I don't have any strong inclinations to bring her back, certainly not before Grey's dead wife. Lotta dead wives in this playthrough, come to think of it. @Da3ggman was the speaker at her funeral and gave a lackluster performance, which makes sense because he didn't really know her.
Click to expand...
LET'S GOOOO
 
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