Mr. Bambu
Suffer-Not-Injustice Bambu
VS Battles
Joke Battles
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- #161
Nah nah, we have Roman-style freezers now, we're gonna be okay.
- With the introduction of our fuel-consuming freezer, we are moving our cooking and food creation set-up to the Pie-Eyed Boar; it is only fitting that @Arceus0x essentially runs the place as the dude with the highest cooking (followed by me and then two of @PsychoWarper's current undead, somehow)
- We were attacked by about two dozen cave cobras the size of a human. @Mad_Dog_of_Fujiwara lost a thumb to one of them, and @Comiphorous was badly poisoned, but we survive. Draining mana continues to be the funniest way of killing something. @Nierre will receive a medal of some kind for escaping unharmed and with several kills by kiting them around until help arrived.
- A huge creature made of rapidly mutating flesh that's the size of a small building has... self-tamed. I will name it Harvey. If it's ever becoming a problem, I guess we can eat it?
- A baronness of the star empire has requested that we build a monument to how suicidal she is. Unexpected to say the least.
- While mining, @Crabwhale disturbed a nest of megaspiders and their insectoid kin, resulting in a permanent scar on his eye. We won the day, but still, ow. @Armorchompy was finally around to chip in to combat.
- I have made a mistake in feeding dead Cthulhu monsters to our pets. Some of you might say this was obvious, and that retribution is just reward for giving little care to the sanity of our farm animals. I would call you a fool and say that any misstep is justified by the light of science. Anyways our pets started beating each other to death in an insanity-induced berserk state. Goat-on-goat violence. The violence was ended when the goat on the rampage had a heart attack, so all's well that ends well, I say. @GreyFang82 was around to clean up the carnage, anyways.
- @PsychoWarper downed a thrumbo with two hits: one death bolt and then mana drainage. This mana draining has gotta be the best hax we've used so far, it gives you more ammo for your other stuff and seems to consistently kill things on its own. There were two other thrumbos in the group with this one: I'd like to tame those two because a long-term breeding project of thrumbos would yield an insane amount of great mounts for the kingdom, eh? This will fall to @Crabwhale, the only one of us with an animals skill worth talking about.
- While it's been awhile since any humans have had a mental break, both @Rakih_Elyan and @Crabwhale broke down simultaneously, lamenting their lack of recreation time. Our recreation time largely consists of drinking tea, so perhaps they're coffee people.
- We received a quest to deal with a toxic-spewing machine-monument in our region: accepting would activate it until we successfully destroyed it. In return, we get a hefty sum of plasteel... and an excellent-quality persona monosword. This is a high-tech weapon that cuts through matter on an atomic level. It's well above the constraints of this run. However, it is a sword, and we didn't make it ourselves, we're just receiving it, so I think it's fine, especially since this toxin-spewer might well cause us all to starve (it will poison our crops if we're not quick enough). I have decided to give this ultimate weapon to @GreyFang82 to replace his mithril pike, since he is one of the turbo-yoked melee fighters not currently using an incredibly special weapon (not to say his pike is bad- shit does more damage than half the special weapons). @Rakih_Elyan, @PsychoWarper and Psycho's undead angel, Gabriel, are being sent with Grey to deal with the plague titan pillar as this is being typed.
- @Armorchompy's ex-wife has overdosed... on tea and mana potions. I don't even know how the **** that's possible. What the hell are in those mana potions?
- @Epiccheev was the only one caught outside when a group of monsters attacked, led by an owlbear. He was riding a muffalo while gathering resources to craft some gauntlets. He began riding towards the drafted pawns forming up in the tunnel, but was caught just before getting to it- he managed to evade the first few attacks but sustained a lot of wounds before making it behind the Shield Wall formed by @Tllmbrg, @Comiphorous and @Mad_Dog_of_Fujiwara, and was instructed to hide next to @Da3ggman (who cannot fight, and so was drafted to cease his duties since he wanted to go past the monsters to do them). It was a tough fight, with Cheev pretty desperately wounded while he shot at them from a distance. None of the Shield Wall was particularly injured- Comiphorous was at a bleed rate of 32%/d, but that's fairly minor. Cheev, on the other hand, was at 1812%/d- for the uninformed, this means he was losing blood at a rate of 1812% of his total body capacity of blood, per day. Cheev survived, but this was on a timescale of seconds from death.
- Our new freezer is less efficient than anticipated because PEOPLE KEEP LEAVING THE ******* DOOR OPEN. @Arceus0x is the biggest offender as the person in the freezer the most. It's only actually frozen or even cold like 55% of the time. It's better than nothing but man, that sucks. I plan on building a larger cold storage thing for surplus- @Armorchompy is hollowing out a cave as we speak.
