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Be My Rimworld Pawns Season 2

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Comiphorous said:
I have done literally nothing interesting in this colony.

this is some walking dead level character butchering. how'd i go from a tyrant with a kill count that'd make Alien vs Predator cry in season one, to some schmuck in season 2. The writers of this season suck.
Click to expand...
You have 28 kills and about 20,000 damage dealt already, your ass is out gallavanting to the dungeons (when I can spare you), and you have a cool giant mace.

Yer no subsonic-speed ultra-tech murderer, but you've done fine so far. You have the fourth highest damage dealt in the colony, behind Crab, Grey, and Rakih.
 
I dunno man, I went from a guest side character that people really liked in Season 1 into one of the faces of the main cast of Season 2.

Also I have a sinking suspension that my pawn for one reason or another might
try to rizz up the rat girl
but perhaps that's just an intrusive thought on my end.
 
Mr._Bambu said:
You have 28 kills and about 20,000 damage dealt already, your ass is out gallavanting to the dungeons (when I can spare you), and you have a cool giant mace.

Yer no subsonic-speed ultra-tech murderer, but you've done fine so far. You have the fourth highest damage dealt in the colony, behind Crab, Grey, and Rakih.
Click to expand...
I am a shell of my former self, but you know what, i'll take it.

might not be a tyrant anymore, but maybe in the future i'll take my rightful place as a dumbass with power he shouldn't have. (although, this time around, pretty sure my traits make me smarter than season one, so i might be better qualified this time around)
 
Mr._Bambu said:
You have 28 kills and about 20,000 damage dealt already, your ass is out gallavanting to the dungeons (when I can spare you), and you have a cool giant mace.

Yer no subsonic-speed ultra-tech murderer, but you've done fine so far. You have the fourth highest damage dealt in the colony, behind Crab, Grey, and Rakih.
Click to expand...
Im surprised im not in the Top 3 of damage tbh
 
  • @Crabwhale has formed a bond with Harvey, our giant flesh beast. I have decided it will serve as his permanent mount.
  • While @GreyFang82 was making friends and shaking hands at the Pie-Eyed Boar, one of the visitors bombed the place? He wasn't caught in it but the person from the Imperium sure was, the psionic blast nearly killed her through her shield. I have no idea why another guest felt they should do that but nobody appears to feel it was amiss and nobody got angry about it so... I guess it's fine.
  • @PsychoWarper and @Tllmbrg were sent with the undead to deal with a small mechanoid pod... only they called for reinforcements. Psycho lost his left arm, and Tllmbrg is more full of holes than swiss cheese. The nearest pawns who could help were @Comiphorous and Ozymandias, and the latter was picking his ******* nose, so Comiphorous came in to assist with dealing with what he could. Psycho lost his cool-ass scythe and replaced it with Vision, an archmage's staff we had laying around- it's still good, and honestly probably better for him since it's a ranged weapon, but we will mourn the loss of the legendary bone scythe. We left one of the mechanoids indefinitely alive but disabled to rot out on the lawn. Think of it like a skull on a pike, except... a toaster.
  • A rather large raid came by and royally ****** us. @Mad_Dog_of_Fujiwara lost about 40% of her right hand (fingers included), all of the melee fighters were downed (miraculously nobody died) and I have now felt the wrath of fighting mages rather than using mages. That SUCKED. Among the severely wounded are myself, @Comiphorous, @Crabwhale, @Rakih_Elyan and @GreyFang82 (who was interestingly the only melee pawn involved to remain standing purely because his sword removes his sensation of pain, which is why he almost bled to death- they kept fighting him. He's alive, but it was bad.)
PsychoWarper said:
Im surprised im not in the Top 3 of damage tbh
Click to expand...
Your ass never gets to combat in time unless you happen to be close already. You are probably the most efficient in terms of battle, although a lot of your kills aren't by dealing damage.
 
Also I was going to hop off but a trader just showed up with a Death Knight class book. @Comiphorous want it to make you more of a presence for combat? If not it goes to Lemberg.
 
So my character
-got brutally attacked twice in a day and saved in the nick of time
-lost his wife
-wasn't allowed to burn stuff
-is suffering from grief
-had his inn blown up

Bruh
 
Mr._Bambu said:
@Mad_Dog_of_Fujiwara lost about 40% of her right hand (fingers included)
Click to expand...
what the hell man, i needed that
Arceus0x said:
So my character
-got brutally attacked twice in a day and saved in the nick of time
-lost his wife
-wasn't allowed to burn stuff
-is suffering from grief
-had his inn blown up

Bruh
Click to expand...
Yeah, but I lost my hand, and the sun is gone forever and isn't coming back. So who really has it worse, huh?
 
Arceus0x said:
So my character
-got brutally attacked twice in a day and saved in the nick of time
-lost his wife
-wasn't allowed to burn stuff
-is suffering from grief
-had his inn blown up

Bruh
Click to expand...
TO BE FAIR

it was a longer timespan than twice in one day, I'd say on average one update occurs per two in-game days

and also the inn is basically fine, superficial damage

but yes your life currently sucks- bright side, you're very happy while cooking.
 
two alive sons, so far
3ua7gn.png
 
  • A blacksmith came to us asking for funds for a weapon he was inspired to make. We gave him about 50% of our funds to make us something, and two weeks later he returned with a masterwork morning star made from demonscales. It's not particularly efficient as a weapon (not that it's bad, it beats a steel sword), but it is highly valuable- I bequeath it upon our leader, @Epiccheev- he'll still stick to using the bow but he can have this for melee combat.
  • Our pawns refused to put kibble in the barrel-feeder for the muffalo we tend, so their baby starved to death. I fixed the problem after I noticed it but it was a bit late by then.
  • That massive raid gave us some pawns to recruit (finally), so we have a few new pawns now that they've all been recruited. It also gave Psycho an extra zombie or two.
  • Our settlements have finally been invested in enough to not eat shit every time they're attacked. We've lost like twenty consecutive battles, but now we have a serviceable military.
  • @Mad_Dog_of_Fujiwara has gotta be the happiest person in the colony that isn't experiencing catharsis, she's super pleased with life after killing people.
  • @Rakih_Elyan and @Da3ggman have found equal roles in taking care of the colony children. Soon we'll set up a schoolhouse, these two will probably be in charge of teaching them how to not get eaten by wolves and stuff.
  • Rakih and Fujiwara were both in the workshop all day so they just beat the shit out of each other before going to sleep.
  • I've learned how to give classes to non-classed people, it'll have to wait for us to set up properly working magic facilities. Now that the inn is built, a magic college is in order! Obviously it will be @PsychoWarper's domain.
  • If I had a nickel for every time a group of medieval villagers stayed at our inn and left us a modern firearm as a tip, I'd have two nickels, which isn't much but its weird that it happened twice. Anyways we burned them, no witchraft-heresy lead-spitters here, we're a medieval playthrough.
  • @Crabwhale insulted the mouse woman by comparing her to a crab.
  • Crab's fleshbeast, Harvey, shat out its food today- which includes a fully alive horse and thrumbo. I'm going to try and nurse the thrumbo back so we can tame it (thrumbo mounts in this would go so hard, even one means Psycho would suck less in battle), the mare is gonna be food- we're not above eating Harvey's... er... leftovers. @Arceus0x is nursing the thrumbo back to working order, call it therapy. We can make a hallmark film about it and say "Based on a true story..."
  • @Tllmbrg has replaced his armor with drip. I will need to get into the nitty-gritty of clothing assignments so he actually wears his armor so the sorry bastard doesn't get gored by a pig or something.
Da3ggman said:
Damn, I didn't think I would be such a pussy just like in real life.
Click to expand...
Your guy is a pacifist, I try to offer what updates I can but a lot of it is just "He's been attacked again while trying to avoid conflict"
 
  • @Mad_Dog_of_Fujiwara created a masterwork marble statue of the discovery of Soul Alchemy, which the game randomly generated as contrasted against a mechanoid- there's no significance there, it's entirely random, but it is hilarious that the game actually managed something that appears significant like that. I've renamed the building A Soul's Worth and put it in the inn's garden.
  • I've begun working on a flesh golem for @Epiccheev- this required the butchering of humans to get their flesh. Unfortunately, being an absolute lunatic, @Comiphorous began loading their skin into our processors to make that into leather- I don't know for sure, currently, whether anyone is wearing human leather clothing.
  • @Arceus0x gave Fujiwara a set of wooden fingers and an eye-patch to finally fix some of her problems (a glass eye was also an available solution).
  • Fujiwara ate a person for fun.
  • I will confirm that @PsychoWarper cannot raise class-having individuals to life and have them retain those class skills: he raised a Death Knight, which would have been so ******* cool.
  • Against my better judgement I sent a group of you guys (@Comiphorous @Crabwhale and @GreyFang82, with some fodder undead/knights) to another one of the large-scale faction fights in the hopes you could hang out at the outskirts until the battle finished and pick up some valuables. Unfortunately, what happened was that one side mogged the other and turned their attention to us after they set the town on fire. I mean it, on fire. We briefly sheltered in a building but ultimately that became superheated so we had to **** off and continue to fight outdoors- Crabwhale's forcefield proved monumentally useful here, as did his fleshbeast because it got shot a lot which means attacks were directed at it, not the rest of us. Grey was relegated medic work, unfortunately. So far we have a lot of wounds to deal with and not much medicine to do it with. I have no doubt that about 30-40% of the loot burned down while we fought- one of the mages must've been fire-based or something- but we did leave with a lot of good stuff, including a legendary magic staff... at 39% durability... and a bunch of art objects of high value. I wept as I watched a masterwork large monument made of adamantine burn away somehow. Over the course of the fight, Comiphorous and Crab were both polymorphed (Comiphorous into a cow-sized bee creature and Crab into a horse, which confused me the first time it happened), one of our knights were briefly mind controlled, and a bunch of elementals were summoned around Grey as he tended to Harvey's wounds. We are NOT invading any cities in this save until everybody is WAY too powerful for this shit. Oh yeah and Psycho's "daughter" (@Da3ggman's niece) was there as an archer for one of the sides: she burned away for sure. It's less than a day's travel back to Aegis, our colony, so let's hope everyone makes it back. 's all for tonight.
 
Mr._Bambu said:
  • @Mad_Dog_of_Fujiwara has gotta be the happiest person in the colony that isn't experiencing catharsis, she's super pleased with life after killing people.
  • Rakih and Fujiwara were both in the workshop all day so they just beat the shit out of each other before going to sleep.
Click to expand...
That's what I'm talking about baby, this is the ideal life right here.
Mr._Bambu said:
@Mad_Dog_of_Fujiwara created a masterwork marble statue of the discovery of Soul Alchemy, which the game randomly generated as contrasted against a mechanoid- there's no significance there, it's entirely random, but it is hilarious that the game actually managed something that appears significant like that. I've renamed the building A Soul's Worth and put it in the inn's garden.
Click to expand...
Sick.
Mr._Bambu said:
  • @Arceus0x gave Fujiwara a set of wooden fingers and an eye-patch to finally fix some of her problems (a glass eye was also an available solution).
  • Fujiwara ate a person for fun.
Click to expand...
Well, I'm glad my pawn seems to be having a better time than I am irl. 22 years on this earth and I still haven't tasted human flesh.
 
  • @Mad_Dog_of_Fujiwara did in fact eat the leftover bits of the Flesh Golem.
  • WE HAVE A RESURRECTOR SERUM: it is higher tech than this playthrough would traditionally allow, but it would allow us to return @Nierre to life, do I use it y/n
  • @Armorchompy bitch ex-wife has continued to be a pain in the ass by having the audacity to develop a severe heart condition on her 29th birthday. Selfishness incarnate.
  • @GreyFang82 is now lovers with Malvina, a 30-year old rancher who is the epitome of "Strong girl. Farm?"- as such, her life is marginally more important to maintain now.
  • A faction fight on our territory included the leader of the Imp tribes on the planet, one Thshakvon Dozrov. She's not anything incredibly special, although she is a Wayfarer (the everyman melee class). I've saved her pawn for posterity so we can set up a page if she turns out to be interesting.
  • Another large mechanoid cluster refused to cooperate with my strategy which resulted in the near-death of Sarai, one of the first undead we rose. She did lose her arm in an explosion that also hit @GreyFang82 (who was badly hurt but no permanent damage sustained) and @Crabwhale (whose shield protected him from the worst of the effects). The worst casualty is the ambrosia plants they landed in.
  • I have set @Epiccheev to create as good of an armor as we can muster. A set of adorned and gilded plasteel full plate, as he has an Inspired creativity mood at the moment. Ideally, this will result in a Masterwork or Legendary set of armor that represents the best we will ever have in this playthrough. Whoever wears it shall be our champion.
  • Something about one of our visitors, Palmer, from the Imperium, really didn't sit quite right with @Rakih_Elyan. I didn't know this before now but the game informs you if one of your pawns insults another three times in a row- Rakih did it four. The poor guy was just sitting at the bar and he let him have it.
  • @Crabwhale @Tllmbrg @Mad_Dog_of_Fujiwara @Rakih_Elyan and @PsychoWarper attacked a dungeon-ruin near us and finally got Psycho's slow ass a Ring of Haste. He's still slow but this is like a 60% increase from his last speed, well worth the effort and the fact that one of the knight NPCs that went with lost her leg, we're working on medieval prosthetic research anyways, it'll be fine On the way home we were attacked, however- by infant empress butterflies, as in larva. Very strange day all around but we got more loot and this is, in my opinion, literally all that matters.
  • Working on a theory, I've decided to make @Da3ggman psychic- I think that if he gets a psychic AoE or something from this, he can still use it to fight, even if he is a pacifist. We got a neuroformer from the dungeon quest thing so I figured I may as well see. At the moment he just has a rapid-cooldown stun ability but we'll see where he goes with it.
  • The knight who lost her leg in the dungeon struck up a romance with my pawn. Poor woman is pregnant with one leg, her ass is not going to be able to move for ages. We need Paresian prosthetics yesterday.
  • I tried to get @Armorchompy a pet wyvern to be his bonded animal- even had @Comiphorous on standby in case the thing went feral- but I was told this had a 0% chance of success only after using the ability, bastard game hates fun. There's a ripper hound in the area, this is the next target.
 
Mr._Bambu said:
Something about one of our visitors, Palmer, from the Imperium, really didn't sit quite right with @Rakih_Elyan. I didn't know this before now but the game informs you if one of your pawns insults another three times in a row- Rakih did it four. The poor guy was just sitting at the bar and he let him have it.
Click to expand...
Damn.
 
Mr._Bambu said:
WE HAVE A RESURRECTOR SERUM: it is higher tech than this playthrough would traditionally allow, but it would allow us to return @Nierre to life, do I use it y/n
Click to expand...
Yes
Mr._Bambu said:
@GreyFang82 is now lovers with Malvina, a 30-year old rancher who is the epitome of "Strong girl. Farm?"- as such, her life is marginally more important to maintain now.
Click to expand...
If she’s blonde or redhead I won the jackpot

Mr._Bambu said:
.Another large mechanoid cluster refused to cooperate with my strategy which resulted in the near-death of Sarai, one of the first undead we rose. She did lose her arm in an explosion that also hit @GreyFang82 (who was badly hurt but no permanent damage sustained)
Click to expand...
I’m built different. I’m really him.
 
Mr._Bambu said:
  • Working on a theory, I've decided to make @Da3ggman psychic- I think that if he gets a psychic AoE or something from this, he can still use it to fight, even if he is a pacifist. We got a neuroformer from the dungeon quest thing so I figured I may as well see. At the moment he just has a rapid-cooldown stun ability but we'll see where he goes with it.
Click to expand...
Yoooo I'm gonna be Professor X fr
 
  • A bunch of child beggars hung out at the colony for a couple days asking for our ENTIRE SUPPLY OF MEDICINE. We declined, and while they stayed they got into a social fight, causing one of them to die, which caused them to say it was our fault and attack us. Unfortunately, @Tllmbrg was passing by them when they became hostile, and he is set to attack hostiles on-sight. The image of Tllm literally charging down fleeing children with a frozen greataxe is so ******* funny. The best armed of them was an 11-year old with a shitty pitchfork. A couple of Psycho's undead joined in. When most of them were dead, the rest tried to flee- but they tried to path through our castle gate, which was closed, so people just killed them. This was one of the most traumatic, war-crime ridden things I've ever done in Rimworld, and all it required me to do was nothing.
  • In brighter news, @Nierre is back, having been dead for nearly an entire year. At time of writing she's incapacitated due to resurrection sickness, now we just have to hope she was lucky and didn't pick up the degenerative resurrection chronic diseases.
  • We received a titanic shipment of plasteel in return for going to deal with a machine that was blocking out the sun. I've gotten into the groove and sorted out who is most likely to be sent on these adventures (read: needed the least for the base's continued survival weighed against their ability to survive in combat)- @Crabwhale, @Rakih_Elyan and @PsychoWarper are all consistent joins, and other than that it mostly depends on who's not doing anything right now. @Tllmbrg and @Comiphorous went along because both weren't terribly busy.
  • @Comiphorous called @Mad_Dog_of_Fujiwara an oyster, and this sent her into another depressive phase.
  • We were attacked at a very unfortunate time, with @Da3ggman caught alone south of the tunnel chokepoint. The enemy, a group of large Deep Ones, entered very close to said checkpoint- closer than any of our pawns were, which meant they could get through it without resistance. I had who I could post up where they could but it was a ******* bloodbath. @Nierre was within 2 hours of dying again simply due to being the first combatant to arrive- a ranged pawn against all melee enemies. @Crabwhale came and made a valiant effort, as did @Tllmbrg, but what was needed was more than they could offer. The situation cooled down when @Rakih_Elyan made it, simply due to the fact that he's wearing full adamantine plate and his weapon sets ************* on fire, causing them to stop fighting (pawns panic when they get put on fire). With him running the melee scene largely by being unhurtable, and @PsychoWarper finally reaching the place to artillery fire them down, the day was won: ultimately no deaths (although some were close), and one of Psycho's undead would have died were it not for their deathless genes, causing them instead to enter a weeklong coma. We sorta just let her lay on the ground for a long time until she stood back up.
  • During a mana drain, @PsychoWarper lost enough mana to cause his best skeletal warrior, an angel we renamed Gabriel, to disintegrate. He's still got skilled fighters (Rya has a 17 in melee, in fact) but Gabriel was kitted as hell.
  • @GreyFang82 got married to Malvina
  • @Epiccheev is raking in the ranks with the Imperium, but I'm not hosting his ascension ceremony until we have a throneroom of some kind for him: this means that we need to begin work on the castle.
  • We received an assassination request on an individual over a continent away- as payment, we would receive two antigrain warheads, which if you don't know are essentially micro-nuclear bombs. As we are a medieval civilization and we believe grain is some kind of plant (obviously can't explode), we have declined, but it is a funny as hell offer.
 
Mr._Bambu said:
A bunch of child beggars hung out at the colony for a couple days asking for our ENTIRE SUPPLY OF MEDICINE. We declined, and while they stayed they got into a social fight, causing one of them to die, which caused them to say it was our fault and attack us. Unfortunately, @Tllmbrg was passing by them when they became hostile, and he is set to attack hostiles on-sight. The image of Tllm literally charging down fleeing children with a frozen greataxe is so ******* funny. The best armed of them was an 11-year old with a shitty pitchfork. A couple of Psycho's undead joined in. When most of them were dead, the rest tried to flee- but they tried to path through our castle gate, which was closed, so people just killed them. This was one of the most traumatic, war-crime ridden things I've ever done in Rimworld, and all it required me to do was nothing.
Click to expand...
This is the most in-character thing I have done
 
Mr._Bambu said:
A bunch of child beggars hung out at the colony for a couple days asking for our ENTIRE SUPPLY OF MEDICINE. We declined, and while they stayed they got into a social fight, causing one of them to die, which caused them to say it was our fault and attack us. Unfortunately, @Tllmbrg was passing by them when they became hostile, and he is set to attack hostiles on-sight. The image of Tllm literally charging down fleeing children with a frozen greataxe is so ******* funny. The best armed of them was an 11-year old with a shitty pitchfork. A couple of Psycho's undead joined in. When most of them were dead, the rest tried to flee- but they tried to path through our castle gate, which was closed, so people just killed them. This was one of the most traumatic, war-crime ridden things I've ever done in Rimworld, and all it required me to do was nothing.
Click to expand...
Extremely lore accurate Tllmberg moment
Mr._Bambu said:
  • We received a titanic shipment of plasteel in return for going to deal with a machine that was blocking out the sun. I've gotten into the groove and sorted out who is most likely to be sent on these adventures (read: needed the least for the base's continued survival weighed against their ability to survive in combat)- @Crabwhale, @Rakih_Elyan and @PsychoWarper are all consistent joins
Click to expand...
Da fuccin boys
Mr._Bambu said:
  • During a mana drain, @PsychoWarper lost enough mana to cause his best skeletal warrior, an angel we renamed Gabriel, to disintegrate. He's still got skilled fighters (Rya has a 17 in melee, in fact) but Gabriel was kitted as hell.
Click to expand...
NOOOOO MY BOY!!!! ;-;
 
Also I was sent a picture of the aftermath of me and Crab fighting 15 Guinea Pigs which I just find hilarious.
 
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