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Be My Rimworld Pawns

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Mr._Bambu said:
I'm going to conclude voting.

I don't know when exactly I'll decide to cut the game- it's coming but not immediately, there's still mechanitor stuff I want to do and a few cities what need destroyed.

As tiebreaker: I'm going to merge two of them. The ending will be going to escape the planet via the Royal Ascent quest (which will lead to a lot of attacks on our base, satisfying the bloodthirsty amongst you). Those of you who want to leave (say so) will be given passage to the stars via the Imperium of God. The rest, you will live out your days solidifying control over this planet, preferably by deploying waves of mind-controlled soldiers.
Click to expand...
I want to ascend to the stars above
 
  • @Armorchompy cooked carnivore lavish meals from rotten meat. @Drite77 ate one and instantly got food poisoning. Pranked? Pranked.
  • I have accidentally given @ImmortalDread Cthulhu-summoning powers by allowing her to open portals to the Lovecraftian realm of madness beyond the veil. I didn't read the Psycast I gave her. Whoops.

(forgot to post before I went to work, I didn't play for long)
 
  • @Crabwhale and @Armorchompy were exploring a bombarded city. Went horribly because Crab managed to paralyze himself for a bit via his electro-magic. Decided that the strat was to have Armor snipe people from a long way away (his rifle is actually insane at dealing with high-armor targets, he two-taps the poor bastards) while Crab just dives into the thick of it with an EMP shield up. Worked out extremely well after that. Not much of value found in the city unfortunately, some gold and some uranium. Thanks to being a Bellator, Crab's wound sustained from being paralyzed in front of like eight enemies healed before he finished killing said enemies, which I found hilarious.
  • A meteor ******* crushed an alpaca I was having @Setsuna_tenma hunt. Dude was ten feet from being flattened.
  • I had @Shmooply kill a Paraceratherium, the largest creature in the game. Thing couldn't meaningfully harm him, Shmooply sustained a bruise on his toe and a small cut on his torso. After winning this battle, Shmooply became inspired (particularly in trade)- the beauty of death gave Shmooply capitalistic urges.
  • I've realized that @GreyFang82 is EASILY our best degotiator thanks to his Sanguphage genes. For reference, @Comiphorous has a 20% modifier on his trade deals- he sells shit for 20% higher price and buys shit for 20% lower price. Grey just did a massive deal at 42%. We're ******* RICH. Previously my own pawn and Comiphorous' were boxing over the top negotiator title.
  • @PsychoWarper's daughter Gert has equipped vodka as her weapon despite being given a perfectly serviceable automatic pistol.
  • Finally sending @Drite77 to get his robot powers, protected by a retinue of our Ignotus as well as two Bellator (@Crabwhale and a new one I made, his name is Abevasgo)
  • I've been building a number of bombs and artillery that we can deploy at long range- so far, our biggest bomb is only about 10 tons of TNT, but next up is the nuke.
  • Finally got around to making @PhantomØ4. The game generated him with female hair, however, which I suppose is the tax of all of our children being female for ages. I randomly generated the aspects you didn't say until it gave me something that allowed your passions to exist (kept getting stuff that locked off violent, art, and social, what are the odds): so your childhood was spent as a pizza lover who assaulted small animals to gawk at their insides and your adulthood is a jester. I similarly random-genned your traits, gave you three: Chemical Fascination, Creepy Breathing, and Misogynist. You uh... you randomly generated poorly. I dunno what to do with you. Maybe I'll add you to the Bellator caste for rapid ascension into a capable fighter.
 
im-invincible-sundowner-metal-gear.gif
 
Epiccheev said:
Did we win no.1 Victory Royale on Rimworld yet?
Click to expand...
I have been kidnapped by the Project Zomboid Industrial Complex and every day that I exist, people want me to play it. I've only gotten like one notable/funny update a day for the past few days, which I guess I can share now:

  • To advance his mechanitor skills, @Drite77 has begun polluting the world and also called robot terrorists to our front door. I wasn't sure how strong they were so I prepared our entire colony, and then @azontr killed them on his own. We will be calling more robot terrorists soon.
  • Now that I made a pawn for @PhantomØ4, we're finally getting male kids- two of the NPC colonists had one, and @ImmortalDread has another child, a son named Heinrich.
  • I wanted to test how long it would take to down @Crabwhale on normal enemies, so I had him smack a rhinoceros and then get beat up by the stampede without attacking back. It lasted a few minutes before a trade caravan came along and attacked the rhinos- Crab was still up.
  • We decidedly do not have enough farms to sustain a diet of only vegetarian lavish meals. It is a sad day.
 
Mr._Bambu said:
To advance his mechanitor skills, @Drite77 has begun polluting the world and also called robot terrorists to our front door. I wasn't sure how strong they were so I prepared our entire colony, and then @azontr killed them on his own. We will be calling more robot terrorists soon.
Click to expand...
:(
 
  • @Epiccheev had a nervous breakdown during an operation on a patient. Rather than operating, he continuously grabbed a bunch of medicine, placed it by them, and then went to get more while other pawns returned the medicine back to storage.
  • Just after I sent the militia (led by @Crabwhale) out to deal with a prison camp, we were invaded by a horde of 10+ foot tall babboons with superhuman strength. @GreyFang82, @azontr and @Shmooply dealt with it, but they were actually nearly incapacitated- azontr had his leg torn off and Shmooply was at 189% blood loss rate (that is, over the course of 24 hours, he would have lost 189% of his body's volume of blood). These aren't even remotely lethal wounds to the Sanguophage, but enough to put them down for a bit. They're healing now and azontr is getting a bionic leg. Of the group, Grey surprisingly did the best- without a painstopper, he still managed to fight his way through the skirmish and took the least wounds (mostly bruises and scratches amounting to 38% blood loss).
I intend to push for the finish line after the following criteria are met:
  • Our armory is 2/3 full of weapons at least suitable for the Ignotus caste (that means all Industrial-age weapons of at least Normal quality).
  • Our vault is completely full of silver.
  • We have a fully-functioning mechtech lab for Drite to create his machines in. We have at least one Ultraheavy mech.
  • Our extended food storage facility is at least 50% full.
  • We have asphalt roads connecting all of our settlements.
  • All of us are biologically ascended as either an Aetherius, Sanguophage, or Bellator.
...so it'll be awhile, but a lot of that is just clerical work as we build up to it.
 
Mr._Bambu said:
  • @Epiccheev had a nervous breakdown during an operation on a patient. Rather than operating, he continuously grabbed a bunch of medicine, placed it by them, and then went to get more while other pawns returned the medicine back to storage.
  • Just after I sent the militia (led by @Crabwhale) out to deal with a prison camp, we were invaded by a horde of 10+ foot tall babboons with superhuman strength. @GreyFang82, @azontr and @Shmooply dealt with it, but they were actually nearly incapacitated- azontr had his leg torn off and Shmooply was at 189% blood loss rate (that is, over the course of 24 hours, he would have lost 189% of his body's volume of blood). These aren't even remotely lethal wounds to the Sanguophage, but enough to put them down for a bit. They're healing now and azontr is getting a bionic leg. Of the group, Grey surprisingly did the best- without a painstopper, he still managed to fight his way through the skirmish and took the least wounds (mostly bruises and scratches amounting to 38% blood loss).
I intend to push for the finish line after the following criteria are met:
  • Our armory is 2/3 full of weapons at least suitable for the Ignotus caste (that means all Industrial-age weapons of at least Normal quality).
  • Our vault is completely full of silver.
  • We have a fully-functioning mechtech lab for Drite to create his machines in. We have at least one Ultraheavy mech.
  • Our extended food storage facility is at least 50% full.
  • We have asphalt roads connecting all of our settlements.
  • All of us are biologically ascended as either an Aetherius, Sanguophage, or Bellator.
...so it'll be awhile, but a lot of that is just clerical work as we build up to it.
Click to expand...
What can I say, I'm no push over.

I can hang with the best of them
 
Mr._Bambu said:
  • Finally got around to making @PhantomØ4. The game generated him with female hair, however, which I suppose is the tax of all of our children being female for ages. I randomly generated the aspects you didn't say until it gave me something that allowed your passions to exist (kept getting stuff that locked off violent, art, and social, what are the odds): so your childhood was spent as a pizza lover who assaulted small animals to gawk at their insides and your adulthood is a jester. I similarly random-genned your traits, gave you three: Chemical Fascination, Creepy Breathing, and Misogynist. You uh... you randomly generated poorly. I dunno what to do with you. Maybe I'll add you to the Bellator caste for rapid ascension into a capable fighter
Click to expand...
I read this a couple days ago but man I really just take L after L in this ******* *****-hole. Throw me to die with such a wretched existence wtf. Chemical Fascination, Creepy Breathing and Hating Woman 😭 That ***** is 100% Nega-phantom

Imma keep playing my own save fock yo save, I wish I never knew about this thread. Worse than any cyberbullying frfr imma unsubscribe myself from life.
 
PhantomØ4 said:
I read this a couple days ago but man I really just take L after L in this ******* *****-hole. Throw me to die with such a wretched existence wtf. Chemical Fascination, Creepy Breathing and Hating Woman 😭 That ***** is 100% Nega-phantom

Imma keep playing my own save fock yo save, I wish I never knew about this thread. Worse than any cyberbullying frfr imma unsubscribe myself from life.
Click to expand...
If it helps your original story stuff was cool as hell. Vatgrown Assassin childhood *****, it just can't do the things you wanted.

(I feel a little bad but like also I want to keep with the rules of the thing, if it makes you feel any better you're a Bellator now and pretty ******* nutty with a melee weapon)
 
Mr._Bambu said:
(I feel a little bad but like also I want to keep with the rules of the thing, if it makes you feel any better you're a Bellator now and pretty ******* nutty with a melee weapon)
Click to expand...

I was lead astray, I did not know you were still gonna do that method after you spawned someone in as they wanted. Jokes aside tho I am just actually slightly annoyed that I missed out on 95% of this event for one of my favorite games, looked fun, its practically over so I don't think there was any point at spawning me in. Missed out, though luck me.

I would love to run one like this myself but seems redundant.
 
PhantomØ4 said:
I was lead astray, I did not know you were still gonna do that method after you spawned someone in as they wanted. Jokes aside tho I am just actually slightly annoyed that I missed out on 95% of this event for one of my favorite games, looked fun, its practically over so I don't think there was any point at spawning me in. Missed out, though luck me.

I would love to run one like this myself but seems redundant.
Click to expand...
I'd be down to make my next Rimworld run like this but with different settings. Medieval fantasy mods and shit, y'know?

There's also still a good amount of life left in the playthrough, no doubt- those goals are gonna take some time, especially since I don't intend to just build all the weapons myself. We takes 'em from the dead.
 
(Also you just didn't give me traits, I can give you traits, list the traits, give)
 
PhantomØ4 said:
Well either way idk what you’d prefer to do but leaving this here if you wanna go down this route or not have a cannibal shitpost either way lol. Idk if you meant rimworld traits description or irl but I got rimworld traits that you can probably filter out cuz too many.

- Musical Kid
-Budding Artist

  • Teetoteler
  • Night Owl
  • Pessimist
  • Beautiful 👽
  • (Psychically) Hypersensitive
  • Bloodlusted (For fujiwara birthing that child)
Click to expand...

I am being gaslit now. :unsure:
 
PhantomØ4 said:
I am being gaslit now. :unsure:
Click to expand...
OH WHAT THE **** DID YOU GIVE ME THEM

man

I swear to you I just scrolled right past them *****
PhantomØ4 said:
Yeah I wasn’t really too sure since the story had gone underway when I died 3 posts in.

Burning passion— Artistic, Shooting (Fujiwara’s bloodline or) Melee(ing it to death)
Passion— Social

And uh, make me a guy I guess I forgot to say that.
Click to expand...
I went entirely off of this one and thought nothing else of it lol
 
💀 My unparalleled unluck befalls upon me once again. If I was not such an unmotivated prick perhaps I could maybe copy the idea if that was fine with you.
 
Last edited:
puztWnS.png


Your shit fixed. Your melee is worse but it's fine because I made your ass into a ranged soldier anyhow.

PhantomØ4 said:
💀 My unparalleled unlock befalls upon me once again. If I was not such an unmotivated prick perhaps I could maybe copy the idea if that was fine with you.
Click to expand...
I don't have a copyright on it, by all means. Less cool when someone else does it, though.
 
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