Be My Rimworld Pawns: Season 3

[Shmooply]

I am healthy enough to make a singular meme.

• @PsychoWarper entered a sad wander because he wanted to eat (very specifically) insect jelly, which the only jelly on the map was on the edge of the map, and he was very hungry and took awhile to get there. We have lavish meals aplenty, but no, this will just not do for his discerning palette.

 

[PsychoWarper]

I am healthy enough to make a singular meme.

This is so peak

 

[PsychoWarper]

I sent @PsychoWarper to deal with a Feralisk Clutch Mother, alone- this is the exact creature our 8-C scaling comes from, and he managed to take it out in 4 shots. So, we have 8-C colonists for those of you equal to or better than Psycho. Acknowledging that his weapon is pretty much the peak of post-industrial damage outputters, this means @ProbNotAFelon, @Arceus0x, and a couple others, whilst pretty much all rifleman have "possibly" scaling. @Rakih_Elyan and somehow @Armorchompy are already "At least 8-C" because while ranged weapons are superpowered in this mod, melee weapons require no ammo and thus we can give them the best we have without fearing for their ammo situation.

I am the baseline for which all are compared.

Few fights later and you guys are racking up major wounds now that every raid is a maxed out raid. @PsychoWarper is sporting a brand new eye after his last one was melted out of his skull by charged plasma,

Tis but a scratch.

Caught @Crabwhale visiting the tombs, specifically the grave of a soldier who died before he could reach them when I desperately sent him out to assist. I said we'd been trying to avoid deploying Crab for every encounter, and we've been sticking to that; still, it has cost us much in the interim, and in time of dire consequence I still send him out. Sometimes it is too late, and so he visits the tombs.

Based Crabbius.

 

[Rakih_Elyan]

If I get any new unnamed weapon, name it "Shadow Incinerator".

 

[Lawiegg]

• One of the recent raiders we didn't instantly kill spawned in with a bionic jaw, so @Tllmbrg is fixed, because we removed that shit from her in surgery and then sent her to a slave colony prison.
• I sent @PsychoWarper to deal with a Feralisk Clutch Mother, alone- this is the exact creature our 8-C scaling comes from, and he managed to take it out in 4 shots. So, we have 8-C colonists for those of you equal to or better than Psycho. Acknowledging that his weapon is pretty much the peak of post-industrial damage outputters, this means @ProbNotAFelon, @Arceus0x, and a couple others, whilst pretty much all rifleman have "possibly" scaling. @Rakih_Elyan and somehow @Armorchompy are already "At least 8-C" because while ranged weapons are superpowered in this mod, melee weapons require no ammo and thus we can give them the best we have without fearing for their ammo situation.
• We have reached a level of wealth that I have decided to pivot one of our outposts from producing money to giving us ammunition to ease up our own supply needs; ideally, this will allow us to equip everyone with armor piercing high explosive rounds for our largest guns. It'll cost a lot (1000 silver per month or thereabouts) but it'll be worth it, plus our other posts we've invested in more than pick up that slack.
• @Arceus0x now has an advanced bionic eye, to replace the one that was shot out a long while back.
• @DMUA and @Tllmbrg engaged in a bout of fisticuffs, as both were trying to create tomahawks for the Economy. Neither was able to harm the other through their armor and our one-armed recruit, Blackjack, took over making the tomahawks instead as they fought.
• Several missions and POIs and bandit camps later and we haven't found a resurrector mech serum. Only, I learned you could simply request one via the market- it takes a long time and costs a lot more to get quick results (we paid almost 5x the market price for the item) but @Shmooply is back, head and all. He's in a coma currently but that's a pretty tolerable state of affairs as far as I'm concerned. It is humorous to note that his corpse still has ******* gut worms, despite having been dead for about half a year in-game. I gave @Lawiegg the honors of resurrecting him- the poetic among you may declare that this was because Lawie is uniquely equipped to deal with the resurrected, having been the only other resurrected member of the colony so far (Crab doesn't count), but really it was because he was hauling the mech serum and thus it was just easier to have him do it. Welcome back Shmooply.
• @Epiccheev broke the will of Crab (our shitty prisoner, not our primarch Lord Commander) and now she's joined us.
• Few fights later and you guys are racking up major wounds now that every raid is a maxed out raid. @PsychoWarper is sporting a brand new eye after his last one was melted out of his skull by charged plasma, and our android's nose was ripped off by a giant bug. Eggman is also significantly messed up (now sporting a bionic leg and jaw)- we're producing the parts at a fast enough rate to stem the bleeding, so it's not a terrible issue.
• Single mostly-naked woman (she was wearing ballistic goggles) with a stick thought she would ambush @Rakih_Elyan as he led a caravan across our territory. The first hit didn't kill her (even if it was across her heart), so we took her prisoner, cut off her arms and legs, and left her there. She's lucky she didn't try to assault the base with that attitude, our torture supplies are there. We did what we could with the herbs and wood native to the environment.
• Caught @Crabwhale visiting the tombs, specifically the grave of a soldier who died before he could reach them when I desperately sent him out to assist. I said we'd been trying to avoid deploying Crab for every encounter, and we've been sticking to that; still, it has cost us much in the interim, and in time of dire consequence I still send him out. Sometimes it is too late, and so he visits the tombs.
• @DMUA got inspired creatively, so on a similar vein, we decided to send him to make us a burial pillar made of jade, in case any of you die for a long time again; it is corpse housing for the Honored Dead. The end result came out to be a legendary structure, bumping our tomb beauty up incredibly. I've left a slot open to build another one in the tomb, should we ever get a similar creative inspiration.
• @Lawiegg has been hard at work taming aves for us. Cheap mounts are nice until I get off my ass and work on the garage.

Did I repay my dept? Is my pawn free ?

 

[Shmooply]

You will always be indebted to Randy.

 

[Mr. Bambu]

You will always be indebted to Randy.

ain't no man free in Randy's hands, amen

 

[Shmooply]

Amen.



Randy has summoned an orbital strike on the tamed squirrel farm (that he recently spawned)

 

[Mr. Bambu]

• I've disabled the consumption of raw insect jelly for our meal allowances. You can blame @PsychoWarper, caught his ass going back out for more.
• Since his return, @Shmooply is a bit behind on skills we need- he remains one of our best miners, and a good doctor, but not incredible at necessary day-to-day matters. Therefore, Shmooply is the assistant cook when we don't need him elsewhere.
• HORRIFIC timing on a caravan return caused them to spawn more or less on top of a mechanoid cluster. One of our unimportant colonists was obliterated on the spot because most of the mechanoids chose to just ******* destroy her (along with the yak she was guiding)- her body didn't even survive. @ProbNotAFelon was also downed in the blast, receiving pretty significant scarring, so... thank you Felonius, I suppose, for goading us towards the creation of our biosculptor pods, if only to fix you up. As a result of the explosions we also lost a few treasures you folks were bringing back, including a railgun pistol that would have been really very nice to have. Oh well.
• Realized I really should send @Armorchompy into aforementioned biosculptor pods, since he has both increased pain sensitivity, and an EMP burn scar on his eye, causing him to constantly be at 22% pain (which is quite debilitating when multiplied down across his entire career); because of his debuff, Andy is now Prime Target for bio-regeneration therapy at all times. I also need to send in @Arceus0x because he's been missing his right middle toe for ages now. For now I'm submitting Blackjack, because he's missing an ear and has scars across large portions of his body.
• @The_man_with_the_Midas_touch negotiated a contract on our behalf that some Imperials would buy a few rocket launchers from us for nearly 6000 silver. A decent enough deal if I ever saw one, and I'm scared of using rocket launchers anyways. So, they came by and picked them up. I inspected them for fun: one of them has the professional job title of "shitposter"? Like... as his career? The job description says he is totally unprepared for life surviving on the Rim, and in every conversation he feels the need to evoke ancient slang and esoteric references. I honestly love this guy.
• A new golden age descends upon the colony, as we (via @Epiccheev) have done great things: we are now producing our own ketchup. Praise be. We also make jelly, but peanut butter is not allowed, despite peanuts being a plant also from the same modset (Vanilla Expanded). We may achieve excellence, but not perfection.
• Our snipers (among them @ProbNotAFelon and @PsychoWarper) have once again taken down an entire siege on their own. Five snipers killing about 5 enemies each really does a number on an invading force if they're willing to wait awhile and just tank it in the hopes of setting up a couple mortars.
• @Crabwhale has formed our first bond with one of the Desert Aves. He immediately named it Stinker.
• We fought the Profaned Legion again, and two humorous things happened: the first is that @Arceus0x shot off all the limbs of one of the undead and nothing else, meaning he essentially carved a nugget out of the human form with bullets. As this individual is immortal, I have made them our hood ornament- they will stay there, where they lost their limbs, forever. The second is that I noticed the effects of the auto-patcher for Combat Extended work its magic. In doing so, it tries to assign ammunition types to ranged weapons- arrows to bows, calibres of bullets to guns. The Profaned have a magic staff, and the game decided that the ammunition type for this staff is 7.62x51mm ammunition- AK47 rounds. Do NOT trust a wizard whom you see loading ******* bullets into his magic staff, shit WILL get real.
• We've made @The_man_with_the_Midas_touch telepathic as well, and finally equipped him with a better weapon: as he was the last VSBW colonist to shift away from a UMP45, I've given him a railgun pistol (the same type we lost earlier in this message- in the interim, @Topaz404 and @Rakih_Elyan have unlocked the Technology). The range is dogshit but it has better armor penetration abilities than any other gun in our arsenal and it shoots fairly quickly. Unfortunately, I learned of its attack speed when a prison break started when he was inside the prison, and thus eviscerated one of the escapees right through the recon armor he was still wearing. Sorry ****** died on the spot.
• After beating one of the prisoners into a concussed unconsciousness, @Arceus0x immediately cleaned his cell and then attempted to recruit him, mere seconds after the fight.
• @Lawiegg worked himself into exhaustion and unconsciousness hauling corpses to our pyrolysis plant to turn their flesh into chemfuel. In doing so he has emulated the average Amazon employee workday, applause to him.
• Lambert, one of our earliest recruits, was the only casualty of a raid we had while Crab was out. She exited a door, joined @Topaz404 at a barricade, and INSTANTLY died. You don't love to see it. We really need a way of resurrecting people more consistently. I reckon she took a bullet meant for Topaz, though, as that guy was one of the few who didn't get hit at all in the encounter. I very much look forward to Cataphract armor.
• As a final note, the Empire mod randomly changed our Legion's icon? We had a golden eagle on a red banner, but now it's a wolf head on a grey shield. Quite strange.

 

[Mr. Bambu]

oh yeah and @Rakih_Elyan you finally got opportunities to shine when you just ran out into the field mid-battle (non-drafted) and just started assaulting the people firing at our troops. They could barely even harm you. It was actually incredibly rad seeing you just literally surrounded by all of their melee pawns and just smacking them down. You have jumped up to like 4k damage and 30 kills from that encounter alone.

 

[Shmooply]

Since his return, @Shmooply is a bit behind on skills we need- he remains one of our best miners, and a good doctor, but not incredible at necessary day-to-day matters. Therefore, Shmooply is the assistant cook when we don't need him elsewhere.

Even in the video game world I cannot escape my gastronomy diploma. Wallahi I'm finished.

 

[PsychoWarper]

I've disabled the consumption of raw insect jelly for our meal allowances. You can blame @PsychoWarper, caught his ass going back out for more.

This is ******* bullshit and I will not stand for it, I demand my ******* raw insect jelly you damn bastard.

 

[Mr. Bambu]

This is ******* bullshit and I will not stand for it, I demand my ******* raw insect jelly you damn bastard.

We're making it into jelly and serving it as a condiment. This will suffice, or you will die. The choice is yours.

Even in the video game world I cannot escape my gastronomy diploma. Wallahi I'm finished.

if it is any consolation, we took a lot of prisoners from the last one, in various states of... disrepair... and so your medical skills are now the primary focus.

 

[Shmooply]

Training my medical skills (repeatedly damaging and patching up a guy before selling his organs to pirates)

 

[Arceus0x]

@Arceus0x shot off all the limbs of one of the undead and nothing else, meaning he essentially carved a nugget out of the human form with bullets. As this individual is immortal, I have made them our hood ornament

After beating one of the prisoners into a concussed unconsciousness, @Arceus0x immediately cleaned his cell and then attempted to recruit him, mere seconds after the fight.

 

[DMUA]

HORRIFIC timing on a caravan return caused them to spawn more or less on top of a mechanoid cluster. One of our unimportant colonists was obliterated on the spot because most of the mechanoids chose to just ******* destroy her (along with the yak she was guiding)- her body didn't even survive.

Oh yeah, forgot to mention earlier, does this mean the cave dwelling programming and making robots has finally commenced?

 

[Mr. Bambu]

Oh yeah, forgot to mention earlier, does this mean the cave dwelling programming and making robots has finally commenced?

Still haven't gotten a mechlink, which is crazy because a lot of stuff is locked behind that. We actually have even captured two pawns who are awakened androids, and can't use them until we get at least basic mechtech up. I'm gonna start going to Real Ruins more often since I know they can just have a mechlink laying around.

 

[Rakih_Elyan]

oh yeah and @Rakih_Elyan you finally got opportunities to shine when you just ran out into the field mid-battle (non-drafted) and just started assaulting the people firing at our troops. They could barely even harm you. It was actually incredibly rad seeing you just literally surrounded by all of their melee pawns and just smacking them down. You have jumped up to like 4k damage and 30 kills from that encounter alone.

The birth of the fighting fiend Rakih.

 

[Arceus0x]

The birth of the fighting fiend Rakih.

Dragon of Dojima

 

[Topaz404]

Lambert, one of our earliest recruits, was the only casualty of a raid we had while Crab was out. She exited a door, joined @Topaz404 at a barricade, and INSTANTLY died. You don't love to see it. We really need a way of resurrecting people more consistently. I reckon she took a bullet meant for Topaz, though, as that guy was one of the few who didn't get hit at all in the encounter. I very much look forward to Cataphract armor.

When it comes to the Rim, ensuring your survival is top priority. Besides, in his eyes, the less people, the better (he totally did that on purpose)

 

[Epiccheev]

yum ketchup

 

[PsychoWarper]

We're making it into jelly and serving it as a condiment. This will suffice, or you will die. The choice is yours.

Bastard… fine it will suffice.

 

[Mr. Bambu]

• @Epiccheev messed up a surgery on a prisoner and turned his "missing foot we were giving him a wooden temporary replacement for" into "oops I accidentally chopped off the entire leg". Oopsie daisy amirite.
• I don't know if this is new behavior to 1.5 or what, I've never observed it up to now, but @Shmooply did the unthinkable: he cleaned the kitchen before cooking to avoid food poisoning. Madness.
• We're giving @The_man_with_the_Midas_touch a cybernetic brain that replaces most of his brain matter. It will make him even better at negotiating: our capitalist will grow strong, and powerful, and will have the mental fortitude of a flimsy dandelion.
• While converting our troublemaker prisoner, Trumpet, @Arceus0x saw him devolve into a murderous rage. Arceus stopped him, but not before he grievously injured perhaps the most important pawn (if it can be called as such) in our colony... the autocleaner. Our Roomba will receive the Purple Heart award when all of this ugly war is behind us. @Tllmbrg did as well as he could to repair the poor bastard, but the wounds go deeper than a crack on his shell from a human fist; the horrors of war have psychologically changed our little cleaning machine.
• We've begun leveraging the military prowess of our outposts to combat enemies fortresses and towns. We've sent the Legion at Arx Sargatas to deal with some Junker bases. Our goal is not to destroy (yet) but to test the waters and take loot/prisoners.
• After one of our pawns was following @Rakih_Elyan around and insulting him for a few hours, @Topaz404 decided to just beat the snot out of that guy. It makes some sense that although the two are only just barely friends, they hang out around each other for most of their days, researching. Unrelated to this, I find it very humorous that per the game's logic, someone starting a social fight is considered "guilty" (whether they actually started it or had it started against them), and thus I could legally just execute them on the spot and no pawns would give a shit. Shortly after this, the offending pawn, named Kuosa, got a girlyfriend- the only one in the colony, since the last one was Lambert (see previous message) with Gukhrog.
• @DMUA held off most of an enemy raid on his own, as his M60 constantly suppressed the enemy at a particularly bad spot, making them largely unable to push forward past him for some time. He sustained no serious injuries against a 6000 point raid, fighting most of that on his own- most gunshots were reduced to bruises, with only one piercing his armor and causing him to bleed. From what I can gather, he killed 4 outright, downed another 2 instantly, and his gunshots eventually dropped 2 more. Also assisting was @The_man_with_the_Midas_touch, who covered some royals that had their shuttle crash on us (spawning two raids as a result), @Lawiegg, and @Arceus0x. @Tllmbrg was eventually brought in when he was trying to smelt down a gun that one of the invaders dropped, and I tossed in @Rakih_Elyan because I thought it would be funny- it was!
• Speaking of @Rakih_Elyan, I've come to the conclusion that what he really needs is advanced bionic legs. So I'll be working on that when we have some time to do so.
• I'm not entirely familiar with the Ideology system, but @Epiccheev seems to be incredibly powerful for it. He converts prisoners in like... two talks? Just pivots their entire worldview in a couple of chats. We love that. We're making them into military soldiers via telepathic brainwashing.
• @Arceus0x and @DMUA are building our final killbox, the actual one: it should be disgusting. Forty blocks long with the intent of having it all be lined with turrets. Absolutely rotten for our foes.
• @Armorchompy has spent this entire period of time in the biosculpting pod, contemplating life and removing his scars. Thus I have little to report.
• @Lawiegg was hunting a rhinoceros, missed, hit the gigantelope behind it, angered their entire herd, killed them all, then killed the rhinoceros, who had been docile throughout the gigantelope slaughter. Nature is brutal.
• @Epiccheev got the most useless inspiration, Inspired Recruitment. He already recruits people faster than we can gather them. Oh well.
• @ProbNotAFelon has been given an anti-material rifle, thus bringing him into line with the uniforms of our other heavy snipers. We've also been upgrading everyone's ammunition to armor piercing high explosive, and getting rid of the less-useful ammunition in our depot. Our lethality has noticeably increased.

All told, we now have 40 living colonists at Basilica Caeles, so it seems a good time to begin working on vehicles and the aforementioned permanent large-scale killbox. Then, we invade the enemy. Soon.

Training my medical skills (repeatedly damaging and patching up a guy before selling his organs to pirates)

We are the pirates, we need lungs and kidneys to replace the bits people are losing. It's a bloody, awful business, war. We're getting rich though. Which is nice.

 

[Rakih_Elyan]

After one of our pawns was following @Rakih_Elyan around and insulting him for a few hours, @Topaz404 decided to just beat the snot out of that guy. It makes some sense that although the two are only just barely friends, they hang out around each other for most of their days, researching.

Homie got my back.

 

[Lawiegg]

• @Epiccheev messed up a surgery on a prisoner and turned his "missing foot we were giving him a wooden temporary replacement for" into "oops I accidentally chopped off the entire leg". Oopsie daisy amirite.
• I don't know if this is new behavior to 1.5 or what, I've never observed it up to now, but @Shmooply did the unthinkable: he cleaned the kitchen before cooking to avoid food poisoning. Madness.
• We're giving @The_man_with_the_Midas_touch a cybernetic brain that replaces most of his brain matter. It will make him even better at negotiating: our capitalist will grow strong, and powerful, and will have the mental fortitude of a flimsy dandelion.
• While converting our troublemaker prisoner, Trumpet, @Arceus0x saw him devolve into a murderous rage. Arceus stopped him, but not before he grievously injured perhaps the most important pawn (if it can be called as such) in our colony... the autocleaner. Our Roomba will receive the Purple Heart award when all of this ugly war is behind us. @Tllmbrg did as well as he could to repair the poor bastard, but the wounds go deeper than a crack on his shell from a human fist; the horrors of war have psychologically changed our little cleaning machine.
• We've begun leveraging the military prowess of our outposts to combat enemies fortresses and towns. We've sent the Legion at Arx Sargatas to deal with some Junker bases. Our goal is not to destroy (yet) but to test the waters and take loot/prisoners.
• After one of our pawns was following @Rakih_Elyan around and insulting him for a few hours, @Topaz404 decided to just beat the snot out of that guy. It makes some sense that although the two are only just barely friends, they hang out around each other for most of their days, researching. Unrelated to this, I find it very humorous that per the game's logic, someone starting a social fight is considered "guilty" (whether they actually started it or had it started against them), and thus I could legally just execute them on the spot and no pawns would give a shit. Shortly after this, the offending pawn, named Kuosa, got a girlyfriend- the only one in the colony, since the last one was Lambert (see previous message) with Gukhrog.
• @DMUA held off most of an enemy raid on his own, as his M60 constantly suppressed the enemy at a particularly bad spot, making them largely unable to push forward past him for some time. He sustained no serious injuries against a 6000 point raid, fighting most of that on his own- most gunshots were reduced to bruises, with only one piercing his armor and causing him to bleed. From what I can gather, he killed 4 outright, downed another 2 instantly, and his gunshots eventually dropped 2 more. Also assisting was @The_man_with_the_Midas_touch, who covered some royals that had their shuttle crash on us (spawning two raids as a result), @Lawiegg, and @Arceus0x. @Tllmbrg was eventually brought in when he was trying to smelt down a gun that one of the invaders dropped, and I tossed in @Rakih_Elyan because I thought it would be funny- it was!
• Speaking of @Rakih_Elyan, I've come to the conclusion that what he really needs is advanced bionic legs. So I'll be working on that when we have some time to do so.
• I'm not entirely familiar with the Ideology system, but @Epiccheev seems to be incredibly powerful for it. He converts prisoners in like... two talks? Just pivots their entire worldview in a couple of chats. We love that. We're making them into military soldiers via telepathic brainwashing.
• @Arceus0x and @DMUA are building our final killbox, the actual one: it should be disgusting. Forty blocks long with the intent of having it all be lined with turrets. Absolutely rotten for our foes.
• @Armorchompy has spent this entire period of time in the biosculpting pod, contemplating life and removing his scars. Thus I have little to report.
• @Lawiegg was hunting a rhinoceros, missed, hit the gigantelope behind it, angered their entire herd, killed them all, then killed the rhinoceros, who had been docile throughout the gigantelope slaughter. Nature is brutal.
• @Epiccheev got the most useless inspiration, Inspired Recruitment. He already recruits people faster than we can gather them. Oh well.
• @ProbNotAFelon has been given an anti-material rifle, thus bringing him into line with the uniforms of our other heavy snipers. We've also been upgrading everyone's ammunition to armor piercing high explosive, and getting rid of the less-useful ammunition in our depot. Our lethality has noticeably increased.

All told, we now have 40 living colonists at Basilica Caeles, so it seems a good time to begin working on vehicles and the aforementioned permanent large-scale killbox. Then, we invade the enemy. Soon.



We are the pirates, we need lungs and kidneys to replace the bits people are losing. It's a bloody, awful business, war. We're getting rich though. Which is nice.

I am The Nature

 

[Arceus0x]

@Arceus0x and @DMUA are building our final killbox, the actual one: it should be disgusting

Put dispenser here

 

[Epiccheev]

He converts prisoners in like... two talks? Just pivots their entire worldview in a couple of chats

 

[Topaz404]

I don't know if this is new behavior to 1.5 or what, I've never observed it up to now, but @Shmooply did the unthinkable: he cleaned the kitchen before cooking to avoid food poisoning. Madness.

what the fck? Intelligent Rimworld pawns? Impossible!

While converting our troublemaker prisoner, Trumpet, @Arceus0x saw him devolve into a murderous rage. Arceus stopped him, but not before he grievously injured perhaps the most important pawn (if it can be called as such) in our colony... the autocleaner. Our Roomba will receive the Purple Heart award when all of this ugly war is behind us. @Tllmbrg did as well as he could to repair the poor bastard, but the wounds go deeper than a crack on his shell from a human fist; the horrors of war have psychologically changed our little cleaning machine.

That Roomba's gonna be getting better funerals then the rest of the colony, and i wouldnt have it any other way. Stand proud

 

[Shmooply]

• I don't know if this is new behavior to 1.5 or what, I've never observed it up to now, but @Shmooply did the unthinkable: he cleaned the kitchen before cooking to avoid food poisoning. Madness.

Finding out a pawn is mimicking the same stuff I do in real life right after I went through some cursed creepypasta shit in a different game because it was glitching out and lagging is terrifying.

 

[Arceus0x]

Finding out a pawn is mimicking the same stuff I do in real life right after I went through some cursed creepypasta shit in a different game because it was glitching out and lagging is terrifying.

 

[Shmooply]

Tynan, force this guy to buy your book.

 

[Mr. Bambu]

• In an uncanny change of pace, @Shmooply was not infected when the plague struck our colony. @Tllmbrg was among the 11 victims, though.
• Mechanoids landed on and killed one of our baby aves (bird mounts). No other casualties, although they did instantly set @Arceus0x on fire the second he walked out of the base.
• Spent a small fortune (about 8000 silver) getting @Lawiegg Phoenix armor, so he's now Second Tank (after @Arceus0x).
• I gasped and guffawed when @Armorchompy finally exited the healing pod; that shit takes a lot longer than one would expect, he's been AWOL forever. I had to actually reformat and consider our food situation because our best cook was out of the fight for so long. Empires rose and fell in his slumber. Still, he's back, and true to his nature, the first thing he started doing was to cook 4 lavish meals. What a hero. What a champion.
• Our enemies attacked in a siege and used animal warcall on us, causing the humorous image of rats and shit charging our barricades only to instantly die. A lynx was also summoned, but it was well after the battle had turned on our foes- I didn't even notice it until I caught it trying feebly to eat @Arceus0x as he dragged a prisoner back to base. It had ostensibly been attacking him for awhile, as the log suggested the lynx had attacked 27 times without doing any damage. So I had him turn around and backhand the damn thing, which killed it. He then continued hauling our prisoner back.
• @Shmooply was just daydreaming, laying down atop our new railgun auto-turret snipers. Something about the imagery sends a message. We relax while robots steal the life of our enemies.
• @PsychoWarper had the utter audacity to have a mood debuff for not having been outside so long that said "It's been too long since I've seen the sky" while using a ******* telescope. Outdoors, in case that needs to be said.
• We're experiencing a steel shortage, so our vehicle garage is delayed greatly. Still, the killbox is mostly done, enough that I am much more confident in dealing with raids. A warcasket had his head blown off by our railgun turret, was great.
• @PsychoWarper's ex-girlfriend attacked us with a dire raid of pigmen. They intended to besiege us, but something must have gone horribly wrong because they didn't bring any mortar shells, so I sent a sniper with a jetpack out to provoke them to test out the killbox. It isn't finished entirely yet (we're adding turrets still) but it has enough to make me excited. This particular raid crashed previously, but featured instead @Topaz404's wife (who has apparently been retconned out, given she did not spawn this time).
• @Crabwhale returned from abroad while we were skirmishing with the dire raid with two snipers (hi @ProbNotAFelon). I didn't want him to fight it, so I had him rush the captive he got inside and just not engage. They shot at him but with like, Enfields and shit, so it didn't even register to him that he was being shot.
• Ultimately the fight lasted so long, and they were so hesitant to charge in, that we had to reload our snipers. It was the next day when people began walking out of their own accord, including @Shmooply and @Rakih_Elyan, that a full on field battle began. We had thinned their numbers quite a lot by then, with snipers being added to the fight and some leaving (Felon) due to being out of rounds. What ultimately ended the fight was someone setting off an explosive near a pigskin carrying a large amount of grenades, which ultimately led to a chain reaction involving about 35 satchel charges that not only killed but ******* vaporized like 20 of the poor bastards- seriously, that big patch of brown is the area of melted snow that was once filled with pigskin raiders of Poik-Mok, their bodies were destroyed. In this outcome we lost a huge amount of valuable loot but... we'll live, I guess. We let Crab do cleanup since we leashed him for the actual fight.
• As a final note, @DMUA is on some sort of hunger strike, as he starved himself to work but not on the clothing racks we so desperately need. We still love him though, as he is the primary builder of the killbox (and when it is done, he will begin on the garage/vehicles).

 

[DMUA]

• As a final note, @DMUA is on some sort of hunger strike, as he starved himself to work but not on the clothing racks we so desperately need. We still love him though, as he is the primary builder of the killbox (and when it is done, he will begin on the garage/vehicles).

another very lore accurate bit

 

[PsychoWarper]

@PsychoWarper had the utter audacity to have a mood debuff for not having been outside so long that said "It's been too long since I've seen the sky" while using a ******* telescope. Outdoors, in case that needs to be said.

Heh, it wasnt the RIGHT kind of sky

@PsychoWarper's ex-girlfriend attacked us with a dire raid of pigmen. They intended to besiege us, but something must have gone horribly wrong because they didn't bring any mortar shells, so I sent a sniper with a jetpack out to provoke them to test out the killbox. It isn't finished entirely yet (we're adding turrets still) but it has enough to make me excited. This particular raid crashed previously, but featured instead @Topaz404's wife (who has apparently been retconned out, given she did not spawn this time).

Damn, I knew the break up went poorly but not this bad

 

[Arceus0x]

So I had him turn around and backhand the damn thing, which killed it. He then continued hauling our prisoner back.

 

[Topaz404]

Damn, I knew the break up went poorly but not this bad

Broke her feeling so hard she got erased from existence
Rimworld pawns EE justification!?!

 

[Mr. Bambu]

• Mere minutes after the last update, not only did @DMUA give up his hunger strike by eating, he made the first of the clothing racks- a masterwork quality one, at that. All you need to do is apply pressure apparently.
• One of these two prisoners smuggled a shitload of drugs into prison with them.
• We've spent our entire lifesavings on some hard-to-get bionics- in particular, an AI assistant microcomputer with a shooting module for @Tllmbrg and a Locus-Solus Cyberbrain (I think this is the best one on all fronts, it's the same shit we put in @Crabwhale); I'm torn on who to put it in between @Arceus0x and @Lawiegg as our next two best shots, so I've decided one will get the brain, and the other one will have nanites injected into them to get super powers.
• Dunno how long it's been going on for but I note that @Epiccheev at some point decided to wander around without a shirt on anymore. He still wears his cloak assigned to him as a sign of his office, and he still wears pants, he's just shirtless. Apparently the cloak satisfies his need to have his chest covered, even though it visibly does not cover his whole chest. Quite strange.
• Another day, another prison break; I've learned venators are actually cracked for this, as they have a paralytic bite. Still, @Arceus0x was also sent in, and punched someone in the head hard enough to decapitate them. Oh well.
• THERE'S A GOD DAMN UNDEAD CAT ON OUR TERRITORY. WE'RE TAMING IT. NAMING IT SOMETHING COOL. POST SUGGESTIONS.
• Sending @DMUA and @Crabwhale out on a buddy cross-country roadtrip to get DMUA Mechanitor powers (@Topaz404 shall be second up). We have a POI that I believe will give it to us, so we're gonna start that line of events: who knows, we might even fix our steel crisis by doing this, we can scrap summoned mechanoids for their bits.
• @Arceus0x got gunned down by ******* plasteel great arrows and magic plague bolts during an attack by the Profaned of particularly large size. We cleared them instantly after they entered the killbox, so they began to retreat, taking whatever they could on the way out. And... they stole his gun? These medieval wizard skeletons stole Arceus' ******* machine gun. Those bastards.
• @Armorchompy and @Epiccheev have begun making shitloads of fried foods for the colony now that we exist in an Age of Excess. Costs a teeny bit of chemfuel to fuel it but it raises recreation and happiness and that's all that matters.
• I hate pod drop raids, because I meticulously prepare a killbox and now it seems that's 90% of what we get. @Shmooply and @DMUA ate shit in this one because the 6500 point raid landed on top of them; we lost a couple more mounts, and one of the AI colonists fell to the raid portion that punched through the mountain and into our base proper. @Lawiegg was also shot in the ******* spine by our autocannons targeting fleeing enemies. He's alive but it pissed me off.
• Upside to that, @The_man_with_the_Midas_touch had a cool moment where they entered our library/dining hall and tried to attack there while he was playing foosball- so he turned around, shot them, exploded their skull into gore with his pistol, and then returned to his foosball.
• Ah **** I didn't notice until just now but they landed on one of our three vanometric power cells. It doesn't damage out energy output much but it was literally free energy forever, that's ****** up.
• We've had like 5 raids queued up once every 8 hours or so for two days. It's horrific, I have no idea what's happening. There's more queued up even now. If there's any air drop pod ***** I'm going to scream, I think.

Also, I took this a bit ago. It shows our wealth growth over time, as well as the raids. All those red dots above the graph correlate to a raid we have weathered. One was a dire raid (10x as strong), and many have otherwise been maxed out. We've lost some unimportant pawns along the way, but all the original colonists are alive (ignoring those few deaths for Crab and the one death for Shmooply and Lawiegg each). I've yet to source another resurrection serum, but we've done exceptionally well so far, given the settings. Quite pleased.

 

[Arceus0x]

THERE'S A GOD DAMN UNDEAD CAT ON OUR TERRITORY. WE'RE TAMING IT. NAMING IT SOMETHING COOL. POST SUGGESTIONS.

Deadass
Reaper
Calipso
Charon
Chernis

@Arceus0x got gunned down by ******* plasteel great arrows and magic plague bolts during an attack by the Profaned of particularly large size.

Mfing Minecraft skeletons. Does this mean I'm dead?

We cleared them instantly after they entered the killbox, so they began to retreat, taking whatever they could on the way out. And... they stole his gun? These medieval wizard skeletons stole Arceus' ******* machine gun. Those bastards

Romanian skeletons

 

[Mr. Bambu]

Mfing Minecraft skeletons. Does this mean I'm dead?

Nah, just got knocked on your ass. We patched you up.

 

[DMUA]

THERE'S A GOD DAMN UNDEAD CAT ON OUR TERRITORY. WE'RE TAMING IT. NAMING IT SOMETHING COOL. POST SUGGESTIONS.

Femur Destroyer