Humanity Fights Jesus

[Moritzva]

I made this a while back, but hey, upgrades and shit. And it seems Composite Human is likely staying, possibly with slight modifications to fit the rules.

So, why the hell not?

Jesus (Madness Combat):

Composite Human:

Inconclusive:

Composite Human, camping in a Nevada forest that looks a strangely lot like Central Park, is alerted of a flying angelic mercenary coming to his location. He has 30 minutes to prepare, but with a catch: he can not leave the forest, and he doesn't know where Jesus is coming from.

Jesus knows he's fighting a random guy who's incredibly intelligent, more so than any ememy he had faced before.

Speed Equal. Composite Human has all weapons up to 9-A, but no vehicles.

 

[Keeweed]

This ends like every other CH 9-A match but worse. Jesus points and vaporizes CH with tk. It's completely in character for Jesus to do that and CH wouldn't be able to dodge. Completely ignoring how CH was getting deleted last time I checked.

 

[Moritzva]

Read the first line of the post.

And then the prep time part.

Also, I predicted TK would be an easy win for Jesus; that's why it's in a forest, to give use to Stealth Mastery.

Also, 9-A CH matches usually end with CH stomping via toxic weapons-

 

[Jackythejack]

Soooo what can he do to like uuuuuuuuh.

Prepare for this dude

 

[Moritzva]

Jesus doesn't have any manner of stealth mastery or supernatural senses, so stealth should work for a fair while.

On the contrary, Jesus also has TK and shields to defend against attacks, and MC characters regularly respond to sneak attacks.

 

[Keeweed]

No the 9-A matches with CH mostly end with the opponent running straight through everything the CH has and one hit killing them. Also I've read the thread about his deletion and it's pretty clear that CH is getting hit with the ban hammer.

The CH stealth master is useless. Once Jesus gets hit once he's going to immediately know where the CH is and vaporize them and everything in between the two of them.

Jesus points and the CH dies horribly.

 

[Moritzva]

On the contrary, 30 minutes is more than enough to employ traps. To play devil's advocate: while Jesus can suffer poisons for a fair amount of time, it's still a very viable method of killing.

As for CH's deletion, we don't even friggin' know the vote count anymore. One person said it's ~22-23 or something, another says it's 16-10...

 

[Keeweed]

I've said this in the past and multiple admins have repeatedly said it in the thread. Votes are meaningless; it's the argument that matters and since most of the admins seem to agree on deletion I find that far more likely.

Even if Jesus died to the poison, the CH definitely isn't going to survive as Jesus is going to have flattened that entire forest along with the CH extremely quickly.

 

[Moritzva]

>flattened the entire forest

Er

Jesus isn't exactly known for AoE attacks.

——

It's been expressed that both arguments have tremendously flawed points, and that a compromise is for the best.

 

[Keeweed]

I meant flatten it over time. A 9-A could easily destroy a forest if you gave him enough time especially since Jesus gets his ap from pointing.

The compromise was being rejected when I looked a few minutes ago and was going straight back to deletion.

 

[Moritzva]

Remember, AoE Fallacy. Just because a character has a certain amount of AP doesn't mean it's all Area of Effect, massive shockwaves of damage. Jesus doesn't often tear apart entire buildings- I believe he only tore off two roofs across the entire series.

Also, I honestly don't see the battle going for too long.

 

[Keeweed]

I meant that he can just point and destroy the forest tree by tree but do it incredibly quickly as any tree he hit gets obliterated. Ignoring how he could just flip a tree sideways and bulldoze through the forest with it.

Also this battles isn't going to last a long time because the CH is going to be a pile of blood within the first 10 seconds.

 

[Moritzva]

Really, as a Madness Combat fan, I don't see Jesus doing that.

Anyways, I'm only playing devil's advocate here. Do you think that Jesus can bypass CH's defenses and find him fast enough to beat him more often then not, as a vote for Jeebus?

 

[Keeweed]

CH has zero 9-A defenses. If he was allowed 8-C equipment I could see him winning this, but that would probably flip this from Jesus splattering the CH to the CH blowing Jesus up with a 8-C missile from miles away.

Also yeah I'm voting Jesus majority of the time right now as the CH is gone whenever Jesus sees him and CH's stealth Mastery isn't that good.

 

[Moritzva]

CH's stealth mastery is super damn good, though. Like, the guy's the best hunter and tracker on the planet, ever.

 

[Keeweed]

Yeah but the best hunter and tracker on the planet is at best is a 4 foot tall, 2 foot wide person (smallest a human can get) that will always make sounds when they move especially in a forest with dead leaves and sticks all over the place. Even if he does sneak up on you, which I can somewhat believe, once the opponent gets hit they immediately know where the CH is.

 

[Moritzva]

Well, I'll take that as a vote, then.

 

[Ayewale]

Eh. CH's stealth and hunting mastery is absolute though. Morimoto's reasonings seem sound. gonna have to vote for [deleted profile].

 

[Moritzva]

wait no don't use my reasonings, i barely explained why CH would win, i'm just playing devil's advocate-

 

[Ayewale]

Really? Fine then, I'll take my vote back and stay neutral on this for now.

 

[Redacted_Flinn]

I give the edge to [deleted profile], CH has a WAY better arsenal of weapons to choose from, can crate deadly traps (including poison one, which as mentioned the big J isn't immune to.), and Jesus wouldn't be able to insta kill him due to his stealth and camo techniques. Heck, CH could set a bunch of scarecrows filled with explosives or poison/sleep gas, and eventually Jesus would end up killing/knocking himself out while destroying them. I give it to [deleted profile] 7/10...

 

[Moritzva]

...Not too sure he can set any scarecrow Jesus wouldn't identify, in 30 minutes.

Also, to play Devil's Advocate again, Jesus has also endured terrible poison that left him throwing up copious amounts of blood for quite a long period of time, all while fighting.

 

[Ayewale]

If Jesus has strong poison resist, the human is gonna be a helluva lot of trouble. Leaning on Jeebus.

 

[Redacted_Flinn]

I thought the poison Jesus endured was magic based? Because he was struck with it by the Improbability Drive. I've never seen Jesus resist regular poison before...

 

[Moritzva]

I thought the poison Jesus endured was magic based? Because he was struck with it by the Improbability Drive. I've never seen Jesus resist regular poison before...

I would rank magic-based poison above regular, human poison, if anything. The point is, he can endure poison and bodily effects and still fight.

 

[Redacted_Flinn]

I give up, I can't think of any real way for CH to beat Jesus. So I guess Kung Fu Jeebus wins...