Douchebag genie: Screw over peoples wishes

[Imaginym]

I wish I had an ice cream cone

Granted. An ice cream cone appears in your hands. It's bland, low in nutritional value, & so fragile it'd break under any more weight than that of 1 small-sized ice cream scoop.

Follow-up wish: I wish the genie named "Lady Dimitrescu" had the physical characteristics and personality of Lady Dimitrescu from Resident Evil: Village.

Granted. The genie takes the physical characteristics of her mutated form, & the arrogant, untrusting aspects of her personality, as well as her poryphria, but none of the other aspects.

With this in mind, "Lady Dimitrescu" (The Genie) comes after you; It's too arrogant to care what you have to say, too untrusting to consider it if it DID listen, & too thirsty to think of anything but viciously drink your blood.

Enjoy!


I wish that every candle that becomes lit within the next 24 hours would burn for 8 days instead of however long it would otherwise burn.

 

[Jasonsith]

I wish that every candle that becomes lit within the next 24 hours would burn for 8 days instead of however long it would otherwise burn.

Granted: the candle fire now burns the surroundings and your wish has just committed arson.


Wish: The Omnicron variant infects everyone on planet Earth.
^ Try to "screw" over that.

 

[ZoroNotZolo]

OK, let me rephrase: I wish the genie "Lady Dimitrescu" looked like Lady Dimitrescu from Resident Evil: Village in her regular form, not her monster one. And I wish that she maintained all aspects of her personality, with the caveat that she's fine with the attention from people who simp for the Resident Evil: Village Lady Dimitrescu, because they'd be simping for her now as they don't know the difference between the two. Furthermore, she also doesn't have any need or desire to drink blood (unless a degenerate wants her to do that to them, then that bloodthirst is directed toward that degenerate and that degenerate alone until another one comes around, in which case the cycle repeats).

 

[Daddybrawl]

OK, let me rephrase: I wish the genie "Lady Dimitrescu" looked like Lady Dimitrescu from Resident Evil: Village in her regular form, not her monster one. And I wish that she maintained all aspects of her personality, with the caveat that she's fine with the attention from people who simp for the Resident Evil: Village Lady Dimitrescu, because they'd be simping for her now as they don't know the difference between the two. Furthermore, she also doesn't have any need or desire to drink blood (unless a degenerate wants her to do that to them, then that bloodthirst is directed toward that degenerate and that degenerate alone until another one comes around, in which case the cycle repeats).

Granted.
Genie Lady Dimetrodon then reverts to her normal self in a matter of seconds.

Wish: The Omnicron variant infects everyone on planet Earth.
^ Try to "screw" over that.

Granted. The Omnicrom Variant infects everyone, except you until you’re about 82 years old. You’re forced to watch horrible things happen and let the world die, powerless to do anything, until you’re ultimately claimed next.

I wish paper fans worked as actual weapons, sword fight style.

 

[Jasonsith]

Granted.
Genie Lady Dimetrodon then reverts to her normal self in a matter of seconds.



Granted. The Omnicrom Variant infects everyone, except you until you’re about 82 years old. You’re forced to watch horrible things happen and let the world die, powerless to do anything, until you’re ultimately claimed next.

I wish paper fans worked as actual weapons, sword fight style.

I wish paper fans worked as actual weapons, sword fight style.

"Paper fans" have been used as real weapons. They just do not look so fancy as you think.
These war fans are used in ancient times as signalling devices to troops far away.

 

[ZoroNotZolo]

I wish paper fans worked as actual weapons, sword fight style.

Granted, you get a history lesson from Jasonsith about paper fans.

"Paper fans" have been used as real weapons. They just do not look so fancy as you think.
These war fans are used in ancient times as signalling devices to troops far away.

 

[Nullflowerblush]

Wish: The Omnicron variant infects everyone on planet Earth.

Error. Omnicron variant of what?

 

[Daddybrawl]

Wait, is Omnicrom variant some sorta COVID thing?
I’d assumed it was some sorta Sci-fi infection crap lol

This genie’s been trapped in his bottle too long.

 

[Lou_change]

The genie refuses as that would negatively affect her power.

 

[Imaginym]

The genie refuses as that would negatively affect her power.

Regarding which wish?

 

[Oliver_de_jesus]

I wish to have the power of Self-Sustenance (Type 1)

 

[theultimate5105]

I wish to have the power of Self-Sustenance (Type 1)

Granted however the genie decides you should that power to use so he put you in intergalactic space
I wish that I had Omnipotence

 

[Lou_change]

Follow-up wish: I wish the genie named "Lady Dimitrescu" had the physical characteristics and personality of Lady Dimitrescu from Resident Evil: Village.

This

 

[Nullflowerblush]

I wish that I had Omnipotence

Denied.

Granted. However, because of its paradoxical nature — allowing you to both do everything and nothing at the same time (à la rock so heavy you cannot lift it) — you are left in a state of quantum superposition, where you are simultaneously all-powerful and powerless.

Essentially, you cannot use the power.

I wish Akane Tendo was my girlfriend.

 

[Imaginym]

I wish Akane Tendo was my girlfriend.

Granted. However, because you used "was", it is granted retroactively, & in the past tense; Akane Tendo, for a brief period in a new part of your past that you now remember, but did not experience, Akane Tendo was your girlfriend. Shortly after your relationship began, Ranma Saotome got very jealous, & you, in a retroactively induced error in judgement, challenged him to a martial art's duel for Akane Tendo's love. He accepted, & Akane, seeing you act this way, sided with her loyal Ranma. Unfortunately, you lost the duel, & are now hospitalized.

But hey, at least you have the precious memories, right?

I wish for a species of green dolphin to be discovered in Florida as well as this discovery leading to the construction of a prison named for that species of dolphin, in Florida, that, other than my making this wish, doesn't end up involving me at all.

 

[Wdinatx]

wish for a species of green dolphin to be discovered in Florida as well as this discovery leading to the construction of a prison named for that species of dolphin, in Florida, that, other than my making this wish, doesn't end up involving me at all.

Granted, but you end up getting framed for the crime of painting one of the green dolphin’s blue and being sent to another nearby prison.

I wish there was a 0.5% chance for all people being born this year having a genetic mutation giving them ears from a random animal instead of humans and that the gene can be passed on normally after that period of time.

 

[Orange]

Granted, but you end up getting framed for the crime of painting one of the green dolphin’s blue and being sent to another nearby prison.

I wish there was a 0.5% chance for all people being born this year having a genetic mutation giving them ears from a random animal instead of humans and that the gene can be passed on normally after that period of time.

Granted, the genetic mutation will cause your insides to be filled with the animal that the ear represents.
I wish I can go into any romance novel and be the protagonist.

 

[azontr]

I wish I can go into any romance novel and be the protagonist.

Granted, but you are inevitably NTR'd by the cliche bully character that every romance novel ever has.

I wish I had the ability to heal any wound or disease regardless of severity.

 

[Orange]

Granted, but you are inevitably NTR'd by the cliche bully character that every romance novel ever has.

I wish I had the ability to heal any wound or disease regardless of severity.

What did I ever do to you- I don't deserve such fate!
Granted, but the downside is that you can only heal rats

 

[azontr]

Jokes on you, rats have a lot of diseases I could cure lol.

 

[Orange]

I wish everyone falls moderately in loves with me.

 

[Lou_change]

Granted, but you are inevitably NTR'd by the cliche bully character that every romance novel ever has.

I wish I had the ability to heal any wound or disease regardless of severity.

The disease transfers to you.

I wish for orange to be able to avoid the consequence added to their previous wish.

 

[Orange]

The disease transfers to you.

I wish for orange to be able to avoid the consequence added to their last wish.

Granted, the consequences are now yours.

 

[azontr]

I wish for orange to be able to avoid the consequence added to their last wish.

Granted but then the consequence transfers to you but in real life, and even if you don't have a love interest, you get one only for her to be stolen away from you at the height of your relationship by this guy:

 

[Lou_change]

You fool I am aromatic.

 

[azontr]

You fool I am aromatic.

How does being aromatic help lol.

 

[Wdinatx]

I wish everyone falls moderately in loves with me.

Granted but it causes a crisis where everyone on earth feels a sense of longing to the point they can’t get anything done until someone sacrifices their sanity by taking on all the world’s love for you through supernatural means, ultimately resulting in the only person on earth who will ever love you being an obsessive yandere.

I wish I could sleep forever until a press a button that kills me so I can avoid responsibilities.

 

[Lou_change]

I literally don't care about the the side effects.

 

[azontr]

I wish I could sleep forever until a press a button that kills me so I can avoid responsibilities.

Granted. But I appear in your bedroom and press the button to kill you so this was pointless. I then am arrested and am put on trial, sentenced to life in prison, escape, and take a motorboat to South America to live with the snakes.

I wish I was skinnier.

 

[Lou_change]

Granted. But I appear in your bedroom and press the button to kill you so this was pointless. I then am arrested and am put on trial, sentenced to life in prison, escape, and take a motorboat to South America to live with the snakes.

I wish I was skinnier.

Granted you are turn into a normal sized potato.

 

[LIFE_OF_KING]

I wish 2 wishes

 

[azontr]

I wish 2 wishes

Granted. Your 2nd wish causes the apocalypse.

 

[Epiccheev]

I wish to live in a house made of human and for myself to be made of house

 

[azontr]

I wish to live in a house made of human and for myself to be made of house

Granted. But I burn you down because this is a weird wish and you are a weird person.

 

[Orange]

Granted but it causes a crisis where everyone on earth feels a sense of longing to the point they can’t get anything done until someone sacrifices their sanity by taking on all the world’s love for you through supernatural means, ultimately resulting in the only person on earth who will ever love you being an obsessive yandere.

I wish I could sleep forever until a press a button that kills me so I can avoid responsibilities.

Jokes on you, I love obsessive yandere!

 

[Lou_change]

I wish 2 wishes

Granted you already had infinite so nothing changed and the genie gives you a dunce cap.

I wish the genie the twist of the this wish could only be explained by saying peepeepoopoo repeatedly.

 

[Orange]

I wish I can create universes with my tears.

 

[azontr]

I wish I had the power.

 

[Emirp sumitpo]

I wish I can create universes with my tears.

Granted, but a loved one is sacrificed time you do so.

 

[Epiccheev]

Granted. But I burn you down because this is a weird wish and you are a weird person.

I wish my fumes spread through the skies and poisoned the soils creating a horrible house human hybrid themed horror style apocalypse ala Uzumaki. (the horror manga by Junji ito, not the orange ninja)