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Douchebag genie: Screw over peoples wishes

Granted, you have the power to make your left index finger -20 degrees fahrenheit at will.

I wish I could grant my own wishes.
Granted, but you can only grant wishes that makes your life worse, and it happens passively.
 
Granted I am able to legally take it all.

I wish pickle Rick was the funniest thing you ever seen.
 
I wish pickle Rick was the funniest thing you ever seen.
Granted, but only because everyone on earth is retroactively rendered blind and have the image of Pickle Rick put in their mind as the only thing they’ve ever seen.

I wish police brutality went down to a level where it’s not a problem with the system.
 
I wish the genie the twist of the this wish could only be explained by saying peepeepoopoo repeatedly.
(In-universe or out-of-universe? As in, do you want the genie in the described scenario saying that, or the poster twisting your wish using only that?)

I wish for, with no involvement of me in the story, to learn the story of a Golgothian Sylex appearing in the world of the professional assassin, Golgo 13, on the island of Santa Cruz das Flores & for Golgo to be hired to stop it by any means necessary, within the the 30 days before the Golgothian Sylex destroys everything.

Can Golgo 13 stop the Golgothian Sylex?
 
Out of universe.
I mean, that leaves the only possible response as pretty much something to the effect of "Wish granted, but peepeepoopoo.", no? Seems kinda inflexible.
I had at least 1 idea for how to handle granting such a thing if it were in-universe, but....
 
Trading your hated home for a fate worse than death. Interesting choice.
How twisted must one have to do this?


Granted, somehow "your favorite verse" is another Latino America which is worse than your current state.



Wish: Make Simon the Digger vs Kyle Rayner a Death Battle episode
(Like to see how screwed up you can make this. Should not be a difficult one but one can always twist and imagine)
 
Wish: Make Simon the Digger vs Kyle Rayner a Death Battle episode
(Like to see how screwed up you can make this. Should not be a difficult one but one can always twist and imagine)
Their analysis finds the following information:
Simon digs, a ton, so they scale him to that. He also has drills, so include that & his equipment.
Kyle Rayner is practically a glorified space cop, & by listening to the Green Lantern oath once, you can determine that his ring uses light.

Cops use guns, & Kyle's in space, so they scale him to overpowering space blasters; Handheld lasers pistols & the like, most of which can't go through rock. But drills can.

Therefore, Simon's weaponry is stronger. Furthermore, Simon wears SUNGLASSES. These block, & can even reflect light (With their reflective sheen.), making them the perfect counter to a Green Lantern Ring.
Simon facetanks Kyle's blasts because as someone who digs through stuff that blasts that space weapons (Like, for example, a Green Lantern, perhaps.) can't go through, Simon is thus far stronger, & he can use his sunglasses to block & reflect the beams.

Seeing his ring fail, Kyle goes in for melee combat. Simon drills through him, KO.

"Looks like Kyle will be GREEN over Simon's success in this Tengen Toppa Gurren LEGEND!"


Hope that meets your standards. I made sure to not research, & considered my methodology to make sure it was faulty.
If you appreciate it, maybe grant 1 of my previous wishes?
I wish for, with no involvement of me in the story, to learn the story of a Golgothian Sylex appearing in the world of the professional assassin, Golgo 13, on the island of Santa Cruz das Flores & for Golgo to be hired to stop it by any means necessary, within the the 30 days before the Golgothian Sylex destroys everything.

Can Golgo 13 stop the Golgothian Sylex?
 
(In-universe or out-of-universe? As in, do you want the genie in the described scenario saying that, or the poster twisting your wish using only that?)

I wish for, with no involvement of me in the story, to learn the story of a Golgothian Sylex appearing in the world of the professional assassin, Golgo 13, on the island of Santa Cruz das Flores & for Golgo to be hired to stop it by any means necessary, within the the 30 days before the Golgothian Sylex destroys everything.

Can Golgo 13 stop the Golgothian Sylex?
Granted: By the time Golgo 13 could somehow stop the Golgothian Sylex, another enemy appeared and slayed Golgo 13.
 
Granted: By the time Golgo 13 could somehow stop the Golgothian Sylex, another enemy appeared and slayed Golgo 13.
Good. Never did like how invincible, borderline "Gary Stu" that assassin was. Thanks for the answer, I guess.

(Also, I'm wondering if I should just throw a whole bunch of the wishes I came up with recently at the thread; With so many choices, surely some folks will get inspired/interested?)
 
I guess I'll do that bunch of wishes, for activity's sake.
Anyone, please answer as many of these as you are able & willing!:

1. I wish that on July 7th, 2027, not only would a rainbow form but after a few minutes, fragment into round, light, smooth & safe gemstones that each match the colour of the part of the rainbow they fell from.
2. I wish for an alternate universe to Pokemon: Legends Universe to originate where people & Pokemon get along perfectly.
3. I wish that Malaria could not exist outside of Malaysia.
4. I wish for a likeness of the character depicted in Tyler the Great Warrior's card to be transported to the world of DBZ, 5 minutes after Future Trunks arrives to fight Frieza.
5. I wish that 1% of the time any phone was used, except times that would involve me, the phone would temporarily turn into a functional banana phone.
6. I wish that the disease listeria, affected no organism except the plant, wisteria.
7. I wish to observe, but otherwise have no relation to, nor involvement in, a circus performance where clowns emerge from a clown car non-stop for as long as an extended to 30 minutes version Youtube video of the song This Way That, which plays during the performance. (Even if the timeframe for which the clowns emerge or size of the clown car means that many clowns being inside shouldn't be possible, so long as the clowns don't cause a gravitational anomaly, & so long as the clowns don't cause a black hole.)
8. I wish every arcade contained a portal between The Real World, to D&D's Plane of Arcadia, that could not be used by Arcadia's native beings without the free-willed blessing of an adult human of sound mind from The Real World.
9. I wish that ebola didn't exist, except as fiction described only in obscure ebooks.
10. I wish for the Chinese Zodiac to be retroactively altered, such that in addition to the other animals we know today, there is a 13th Zodiac sign, that being the cat.

Enjoy granting any or all of these that you wish, folks. Sorry for any bother, all!
 
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6. I wish that the disease listeria, affected no organism except the plant, wisteria.
Michael Jackson’s corpse suddenly becomes his alternate universe counterpart and because the Sunlight Mountains don’t exist in this universe you have unleashed a plague that only harms the only way humans can kill demons besides the sun itself, which could eventually be conquered.
8. I wish every arcade contained a portal between The Real World, to D&D's Plane of Arcadia, that could not be used by Arcadia's native beings without the free-willed blessing of an adult human of sound mind from The Real World.
There is a war that results in the denizens of Arcadia being forced out and like the worst of the 4 possible outcomes of The AI-Box Experiment (after a good AI being trapped, a good AI being freed, and a bad AI being contained. At least in my opinion.) there are humans tricked by the evil winners of the war into letting enough of them in that they can build their own means of bringing an unstoppable invasion to earth.
 
I wish for the Chinese Zodiac to be retroactively altered, such that in addition to the other animals we know today, there is a 13th Zodiac sign, that being the cat.
The 13th zodiac the black cat is death and on the year of the black cat the worlds of the departed and the living merge resulting in extreme chaos armies of the dead and beings who escaped cycles of reincarnation return thankful this allows several gods of death, the dead, underworlds along with psychpomps to act at their full power to help stabilize reality the chaos is recovered from every time but the world is forever changed.
 
10. I wish for the Chinese Zodiac to be retroactively altered, such that in addition to the other animals we know today, there is a 13th Zodiac sign, that being the cat.
Granted but to accomodate that extra zodiac sign I had to rearrange the earth and solar system some, everything is now dead due to the natural disasters caused in the process
 
1. I wish that on July 7th, 2027, not only would a rainbow form but after a few minutes, fragment into round, light, smooth & safe gemstones that each match the colour of the part of the rainbow they fell from.
7. I wish to observe, but otherwise have no relation to, nor involvement in, a circus performance where clowns emerge from a clown car non-stop for as long as an extended to 30 minutes version Youtube video of the song This Way That, which plays during the performance. (Even if the timeframe for which the clowns emerge or size of the clown car means that many clowns being inside shouldn't be possible, so long as the clowns don't cause a gravitational anomaly, & so long as the clowns don't cause a black hole.)
9. I wish that ebola didn't exist, except as fiction described only in obscure ebooks.
1. Granted although the gemstones are normally safe they are falling from a huge height so a rainbow straight above your head turns into them killing you
7. Granted however the clowns afterwards need a new house and they take over your house and steal your belongings
9. Granted However because Ebola doesn't exist and never existed all of history gets retconned which results in everything on earth dying to a gamma ray burst
 
7. I wish to observe, but otherwise have no relation to, nor involvement in, a circus performance where clowns emerge from a clown car non-stop for as long as an extended to 30 minutes version Youtube video of the song This Way That, which plays during the performance. (Even if the timeframe for which the clowns emerge or size of the clown car means that many clowns being inside shouldn't be possible, so long as the clowns don't cause a gravitational anomaly, & so long as the clowns don't cause a black hole.)
The clowns have powers associated with cartoons and seeing the corruption of real circus make their own out completing every other circus causing minor problem like you not getting that job you were destined for.
 
2. I wish for an alternate universe to Pokemon: Legends Universe to originate where people & Pokemon get along perfectly.
Granted, but they get invaded by a 10 year old from another universe that had kidnapped and enslaved a dimension-traveling deity in a pocket-sized ball who massacres the pokemon population of this universe
4. I wish for a likeness of the character depicted in Tyler the Great Warrior's card to be transported to the world of DBZ, 5 minutes after Future Trunks arrives to fight Frieza.
Granted, but the character depicted is 2 dimensional and static, just like on the card, and perpendicular to the "camera" and thus none of the viewers get to see it
5. I wish that 1% of the time any phone was used, except times that would involve me, the phone would temporarily turn into a functional banana phone.
Granted, but the banana phone is far superior to every other kind of phone and therefor everyone except you sometimes temporarily gets a better phone and you become the laughing stock of the world

I wish... the lich's wish was for me- and Finn- to go back home to Ooo.
 
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I wish... the lich's wish was for me- and Finn- to go back home to Ooo.
Granted, but this genie was too much of a jerk to lookup what the wish was for, so it assumes the lich wished for the destruction of Ooo. Thus, the genie sends Finn & Jake home, & destroys Ooo with Finn & Jake there.

I wish that for each person eating the food dish called "ropa vieja" had that food of theirs instantaneously exchanged with another person's old clothes that aren't being worn, with every pair of people involved in this exchange being unique.
 
I wish that for each person eating the food dish called "ropa vieja" had that food of theirs instantaneously exchanged with another person's old clothes that aren't being worn, with every pair of people involved in this exchange being unique.
Done but every time this happens you have to pay whatever both cost to their owner.

I wish whatever i get screwed over with happens to the next guy instead.
 
Granted but the rule "What goes around comes around" hits you harder than the other person.
(You didn't make a wish, so I'm doing some granting for the last wish that was done.)
Done but every time this happens you have to pay whatever both cost to their owner.

I wish whatever i get screwed over with happens to the next guy instead.
Granted. The Genie's feeling too lazy to make anything truly awful, so the way the Genie "screws you over" is by forcing you to share a 30 cm diameter pizza with it, but the genie chooses for the pizza's toppings to be pineapple & anchovies, & you have to eat at least half of the pizza's slices.

After all, most people don't like pineapple OR anchovies on pizza! What could be worse than that?

But since you wished for the way you're screwed over to happen to the next poster....

@Pepsiman25th is forced to eat half of the genie's 30 cm pizza with pineapple & anchovy toppings instead of @DarkwoIf335 being forced to do so.


Now then, since I want this thread to have lots of fuel, I'm gonna make lots of wishes.

1.
I wish for the protagonist of One Piece, known as Monkey D. Luffy to play an already existing Professor Layton game to completion, without the game nor Luffy's intelligence being any different from how they are prior to me making this wish.

2. I wish to experience witnessing No Heart (The Care Bears villain) vs No Heart (The Keyblade Armor of Xehanort from Kingdom Hearts given life by the Mirage Arena.) as a fair & engaging match on Versus Battles Wiki.

3. I wish that for 24 hours, for the real world only, the Fire Emblem franchise & the Pokemon franchise, entirely swap the casts of their official media with one anothers' franchises.

4. I wish that finding 4 leaf clovers was the norm, not the exception.

5. I wish clovers were poisonous & shamrocks were edible instead of shamrocks being poisonous & clovers edible.

6. I wish shamrocks looked like they were made of emeralds.

7. I wish that St. Patrick's Day was focused on the now real event of Leprechaun's handing out some of their gold to the poor, but only to those who never drank alcohol in their lives, for the consumption of alcohol was considered both offensive to all who celebrate St. Patrick's Day, but also religious sacrilege, no matter what.


Feel free to grant as many or as few of these wishes as you like, as long as you grant at least 1! The point is to give this thread fuel via wishes to grant, & if other people wanna tackle wishes you don't, that's okay, too!

Seven is a lucky number anyway, right? With a quantity of wishes like that, WHAT COULD POSSIBLY GO WRONG?!?
 
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