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Douchebag genie: Screw over peoples wishes
- Thread starter OriginFox
- Start date
Lou_change
He/Him- 10,153
- 5,393
Everyone joins you
azontr
He/Him- 40,580
- 50,192
Granted. You ditch the world and opt to live on the sun, dying.
azontr
He/Him- 40,580
- 50,192
Granted, but you have no hands so you can't use them.
- 7,932
- 8,867
I'll just play with my feet, gottem
- 25,017
- 27,011
Every other animal in existence now becomes a blood sucking pest
- 7,677
- 1,373
Granted, there’s a shockwave and a burst of wind as a hole opens up in space and time and you’re sucked in, losing consciousness.
When you awaken you look around wondering what kind of new world you might have found yourself in, only to realize you’re exactly where you were before. You try to stand up, but fall over. Turns out the reason you fell unconscious is because the high g-forces you experienced being pulled into the portal left you injured in some ways. You aren’t sure exactly how yet, but judging by the lack of sound, your instability, and the blood dripping down the side of your head, you can guess your vestibular system and ear drums are both in a less than ideal state. Your clothes are also in tatters and you’re bruised.
You try to call your local emergency number, but your phone doesn’t seem to have any service. Luckily, someone sees you and calls an ambulance, but even after arriving in a hospital you know you’ve been to before, they’re unable to find any medical records on you.
Due to your astoundingly bad condition, you’re treated anyways, but during the treatment you realize you’re having trouble speaking. Your vocal chords are fine, and you can think of all the ideas you want to say, but they keep coming out wrong. Turns out, you had a stroke, probably from the blood rushing to your head as you were pulled through the portal. You have to undergo surgery for some of your injuries, and the combined cost of those and the various diagnostic procedures you had are enormous.
You try to pay, but your insurance and any cards or checks you might have used are declined, and not just due to the excessive cost, but because they’re unable to find any accounts associated with them. You try to get them to call your family, friends, or anyone else who would know you, but all the numbers either aren’t in service or connect to someone else entirely. Eventually you’re forced to take out a loan and give a down payment in cash.
Due to the way your attempts of payment were declined, an investigation is opened into you, and it’s found that the cash you paid with has a serial number that isn’t in service.
You make a realization.
Congratulations, you’ve successfully ditched this world, and arrived in one exactly like it, permanently injuring yourself in the process. In this world, nothing you’ve ever done happened, no one knows you, you can’t access any services you had in your old world, and you’re currently under investigation for fraud and money laundering while living out of a hospital.
Granted, but to counteract this change mosquito genetics have changed, they now suck more blood from other animals (even those with fur or scales) and have breeding cycles that take 1/100th their previous period. With this change, the mosquito population rapidly grows, until it’s nearly impossible to travel more than a few meters without killing tens of millions of them. After only a few months, the diseases they once spread to humans now adapt to spread to all other animals.
Farm animals, pets, and even wild animals begin losing population quickly. Another month later, 99.7% of all known land vertebrates on the planet are endangered or extinct. The human population hasn’t plummeted yet, but more than 90% of all humans are malnourished, protein deficiency has been declared an epidemic, and the global economy is in crisis.
A few years pass, and the remaining humans have adapted to obtaining all their protein from plant life, and with most other land animals extinct, the mosquito population that at its peak exceeded an octillion is on a rapid decline.
I wish there were better inexpensive restaurants near my house.
- 730
- 253
- Thread starter
- #450
Granted, but all the food tastes terrible and will get you sick 99% of the time
I wish I was the best artist to ever exist
- 730
- 253
- Thread starter
- #452
Theoretically literally everything can become a black hole if compressed enough. A mosquito black hole wouldn't last long though cuz hawking radiation
Oliver_de_jesus
He/Him- 24,724
- 17,761
Granted, but the competition wants your head
I wish there are words with ñ in English
azontr
He/Him- 40,580
- 50,192
Good. The only words in the english alphabet are ñ
- 10,174
- 3,858
You can. You just need a lot of cats.
For example, or perhaps a point of comparison: Have you considered what would happen if you had a Mole of Moles? If so read this:
If you're confused about the premise: "Mole" can mean a unit of measurement/number equal to 602,214,129,000,000,000,000,000 of them (usually written 6.022×10^23).
That's around 602 sextillion moles (The animal.), & for comparison, Wolfram Alpha estimates that as being 0.6 to 6000 times the number of grains of sand on Earth.
It’s such a big number because it’s used for counting numbers of molecules, which there are a lot of. "One mole" is close to the number of atoms in a gram of hydrogen.
All those moles? Well, that website rather haphazardly estimates it as about only half the weight of Earth's moon.
So yeah. You COULD have a cat black hole. You just need A LOT of cats.
- 10,174
- 3,858
Yes, but from what I've read, it would take a very long time, because little to no oxygen & the temperatures bacteria can survive at (To decompose stuff & release heat.) take a while, & fur insulates it, reducing heat loss.
The bigger threat might just be the cat-ball's mass/gravity. Imagine Earth getting a 2nd moon, even if it is smaller.
- 10,174
- 3,858
Oh, right. I was thinking more along the lines of a mole of cats mass. Derp.
- 8,855
- 4,132
Granted but now you now have protaste cancer
Lou_change
He/Him- 10,153
- 5,393
- 7,677
- 1,373
I wish the fact that “Natural selection has favoured fleas which avoid cats smaller than hydrogen atoms” was not true.
Oliver_de_jesus
He/Him- 24,724
- 17,761
Epic
- 1,022
- 344
Granted, but you are always in a permanent state of art block.
- 8,855
- 4,132
Granted but everytime you do you download 100 trojans that fulls you RAM 1 megabyte more than the ram you downloaded, also they cant be removed by any way
- 3,707
- 2,720
Granted, but you now have prostate cancer.
- 8,855
- 4,132
Granted the spambots get conscience become super intelegent and changes history so all A.I are spambots
Lou_change
He/Him- 10,153
- 5,393
You already made this wish after encountering a spam bot in the last timeline destroying a truly perfect utopian society causing this timeline which is now trapped in the time between the time you sent it back to and the time you made the wish.
- 10,174
- 3,858
(I should note that whenever I think of a wish I think might be interesting, I record it to Notepad. So hopefully I'm not taking too many wishes. Also, y'all should be making wishes, too.)
I wish for, with no involvement of me, except as an observer as a normal person might be, NASA's Mars Perseverance Rover to take a NSFW photo of itself, hack the Twitter account that posts on said Rover's behalf, & post said NSFW image, with similarly NSFW commentary, & continue to do so.
I wish for, with no involvement of me, except as an observer as a normal person might be, NASA's Mars Perseverance Rover to take a NSFW photo of itself, hack the Twitter account that posts on said Rover's behalf, & post said NSFW image, with similarly NSFW commentary, & continue to do so.
DimeUhDozen
She/Her- 6,195
- 4,774
Granted, but all said negative effects go to your friends and family.
- 8,855
- 4,132
Granted but you get what most people loves and you hate multiplied by 100000x technically making a good effect in the eyes of the majority. oh also is everything most people love but you hate so have fun with that
- 8,855
- 4,132
Nah is 100 people+ vs you so....
oh also
Every wish fusions inself into a hate ball making him so powerfull that he looks you like fiction totally ignoring the untouchable part and making you suffer by watching a shitty harry poter fanfiction, that somewhat got into a movie,
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