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Be My Rimworld Pawns

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you gotta watch the rest of the series then, it's all bangers
 
Mr._Bambu said:
@PsychoWarper age-dumped onto a child (@ImmortalDread's granddaughter, Nova), which apparently puts them into an age sickness of significantly longer length. The child had some development on them but now they're already an adult and entirely skipped over one of their growth phases, which the game seems to be confused about. They have 0 skills but three minor passions and two pretty good traits (Nimble and Sanguine).
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Warper's so mad that he's straight up giving everyone else the same age issues as him, the audacity.
Mr._Bambu said:
@Crabwhale dealt with that Red Snitch fellow, who had a giant amazonian woman as his bodyguard and who wielded a boltgun, which I was worried might actually be sufficient to drop Crab. it wasn't, and Crab only took bruises. His amazon gf had the ability to mind control people, so that, too, was of concern- but we killed her before she got the chance, as well as the rest of his somewhat less impressive goons.
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This sounds familiar...
 
Mr._Bambu said:
All me bro. I wanted to see what would happen.

Also: @azontr your friend is here. Deciding to do the Rogue's Gallery before I get carried away with colonists.
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More pages have been done on the meantime- @BasedNecoScaler69 and @Drite77, y'all are up.

Also, I forgot to speak on it before work, but I've decided to call the most recent raid the Siege of Termination- an incredibly sized mechanoid raid featuring a war queen, five diaboli, at least three apocritons (although that ****** may have just been getting resurrected), and a truckload of other shit including a mech spawner and an automortar attacked us. @Comiphorous got ******* vaporized by a Hellsphere cannon (we've since resurrected him), Marshadow's Black Hive bugs got similarly melted. One of our Ignotus troops had his head cleaved off by a Lancer, and one of the Bellator caste members was ripped to pieces via like 80+ wounds. also @azontr's pet giant millipede suffered about 60 wounds but didn't die.

Plus side, this gave us tons of materials for @Drite77's mech lab, as mentioned in his profile.
 
Drite77 said:
Geez, I suppose we are past the point were death has almost no consequence huh


Nice... don't know what a Queen does but she sounds strong '-'
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Primarily the queen serves as a tanky centerpiece as well as a spawner of other mechanoids, meaning she can generate more while abroad.

Her firepower is about on par with our current soldiers but she fires much faster. The Diabolus is going to be much more powerful (their primary armament doing more damage than a nuke in a very small radius) but will fire much slower.
 
Mr._Bambu said:
Primarily the queen serves as a tanky centerpiece as well as a spawner of other mechanoids, meaning she can generate more while abroad.

Her firepower is about on par with our current soldiers but she fires much faster. The Diabolus is going to be much more powerful (their primary armament doing more damage than a nuke in a very small radius) but will fire much slower.
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:O
 
Drite77 said:
Wouldn't be surprised
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Mathematically, there is a non-zero chance that Crab can indeed survive, but it's basically up to RNG and he will certainly be horrifically wounded (most likely with at least some body parts melted off).

His immortality core should, however, just immediately resurrect him in the event of his death, perfectly fine, so largely speaking he can indeed tank it.
 
I've been playing a lot of Backpack Battles and not a lot of Rimworld.

Now then: Y'ALL AREN'T GONNA ******* BELIEVE WHO POPPED UP IN THE GAME AGAIN

image.png



DRAGONFLY SLAYER IS BACK, HE IS NOW THE RULER OF ELAUS' CLAN SOME-*******-HOW, AND HE WANTS TO SHAG OUR LOBOTOMITE

holy shit dude I went into cardiac arrest upon opening this notification
 
Man, who would assassinate Dragonfly Slayer in his sleep after his wedding? I truly don't knoooow.
 
Aside from this momentous occasion:
  • @Crabwhale was shot in the head by a shotgun and a second or two later it informed me that he had healed completely, which was the fastest I've ever seen that work before.
  • Crabwhale, @GreyFang82, and @PhantomØ4 were responsible for fending off another mech raid (smaller one this time, it was a summoned Apocriton threat). They did good enough, although they left Raywolfen paralyzed in the river since I had Crab activate his bigass EMP electro-shock aura that paralyzes people.
  • Someone jacked @Comiphorous' sword, still looking for the culprit.
  • @Armorchompy got into a fight with our most useless Ignotus soldier, Iota, and bit him on the leg, instantly downing him.
  • I gave Greyfang a royal title by trading a lot of the gold Crab and @Drite77's kid mined.
  • The library is progressing a lot faster now that I've realized @PsychoWarper can use his time powers to automatically finish a book once you write the first page.
  • On that note: @Mad_Dog_of_Fujiwara has officially published the best quality book we have at a Masterwork cookbook titled Bladed Pureeing, which recommends the usage of a raincoat in the kitchen and a great deal of condiments, perhaps hinting at some sort of ketchup-and-ranch-dressing-shower? Hard to say.
 
Immediate addendum: I had @Crabwhale begin writing a book while inspired and then used Psycho to instantly finish it. We now have a legendary melee combat book titled Spears of Yor that discusses lance use on the battlefield in tandem with footsoldiers. Unusual for Crabwhale it is written from the perspective of mercy.
 
Mr._Bambu said:
Immediate addendum: I had @Crabwhale begin writing a book while inspired and then used Psycho to instantly finish it. We now have a legendary melee combat book titled Spears of Yor that discusses lance use on the battlefield in tandem with footsoldiers. Unusual for Crabwhale it is written from the perspective of mercy.
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I'm getting soft in my old age (I am not, this is merely a ruse for my enemies)
 
Due to the change from 100 to 40 messages per page of a thread, this is now 24 pages long. We're writing books in Rimworld and real life, it seems.
  • The library project proceeds wonderfully- @BasedNecoScaler69 @Drite77 @Epiccheev and @ImmortalDread have all now contributed. We haven't gotten another legendary yet (so Crab is uncontested in writing the best work of the library) but there's hope yet.
  • Additionally, the road project has begun. I've sent out @Comiphorous @GreyFang82 @Armorchompy and @azontr to handle the construction of proper asphalt roads throughout the Accord's territories. After it's done, we're going to kill every other city in our land and maybe fight the Imperium of God, who knows.
  • @Drite77's War Queen finished gestating, I have named it "Gyoja".
  • I'm developing a new geneline called Valkyrie since we recently came into contact with a lot of aasimar genes (I called for like 8 exotic goods caravans from our allies). The valkyrie will be horribly addicted to a drug called angel dust but in return can resurrect people, buff everyone around them, instantly heal wounds, and is psychically hypersensitive. I plan on giving it to one of our NPCs, Victoria, but I thought you guys would like to know.
  • We've developed a new hunting strategy: the first step is to send @Crabwhale and @Shmooply out into a random tile on the map (via shuttle, if you want to be quick), and then kill everything on that map tile by beating it to death, and then form a caravan to leave, and then pick them up with another shuttle: this allows you to carry, as far as I can tell, infinite weight back, since the shuttle doesn't appear to be bothered by weight constraints when delivering a caravan to a location. I did this earlier when they were retrieving a stash of supplies. We killed like 15 elephants and sure enough, they just packed the ******* into a caravan.
  • Also, something I've never seen before- there was a named NPC mechanoid that showed up in a caravan ambush. His name was Popsicle. We killed him but I opted to take his body with us so we could bury him. I then forgot to actually set him up to be buried so we melted down his corpse for 15 steel. Rest in peace, Popsicle.
 
Mr._Bambu said:
You could, aye. The current name just means "Goddess" in Icelandic.
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Seems like something I would choose kek. If her classification is really "War Queen" then I would name her "Uar Kiin". If the classification is just queen I would say just "Regina" '-'
 
I have come to inform you all that I will now be flippantly using Fujiwara's probability hax to mass spam events, we may not be in Randy Random but it's sure gonna feel like it. She is never going to be able to use her combat abilities again lol.
 
Mr._Bambu said:
I have come to inform you all that I will now be flippantly using Fujiwara's probability hax to mass spam events, we may not be in Randy Random but it's sure gonna feel like it. She is never going to be able to use her combat abilities again lol.
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awesome i cant wait to give everyone parasites again
 
More updates from the collective time since the last, since I've been playing a great deal of Lethal Company and a not-great deal of Rimworld:
  • ALL VSBW user profiles are done over here (except mine but he doesn't count). Also a lot of the NPCs. Will be more to come. @ImmortalDread is assisting in making a better unified family tree before we publish (or maybe she meant after we publish the pages but really that's on her if she meant that).
  • @Mad_Dog_of_Fujiwara's probability shit had some technically positive outcomes recently: a meteor made of psychic material flattened a tent, but that shit's TURBO valuable so no hard feelings there. It also like... warped the history of the Imperium, a little bit, and spawned in a 20 skill melee and 20 skill shooting warlord who immediately visited us with cracked out gear. He actually has a page in the above link, towards the bottom, he was just so nutty I had to.
  • @Armorchompy has been feeding a small army out in the jungle by foraging for berries. Because of him they're actually foraging more than they can eat at all, so they're only gaining food.
  • @azontr, @PsychoWarper and @Shmooply fought a sudden onset horde of blood shrimp (they are not shrimp-like in stature but rather body shape, with sword-like claws). Psycho got his ass beat a little but not without taking some down. Azontr and Shmooply were downright unfair to unleash on them. Even if there were something like 30.
  • @PhantomØ4 has been assigned to mining duty in place of @Crabwhale because he needs to train up a skill anyways and I want Crab to be around to headbutt someone in case they get too rowdy.
  • Speaking of Crabwhale, we have a new gene-caste that I made specifically to lead our Ignotus into battle as really high-end commanders: the Valkyrie have a decidedly angelic appearance and can resurrect the dead (among other things), making them ideal for sustaining our forces. The first Valkyrie, Victoria, inspired the whole thing because as a prisoner she was ******* INSANELY CRACKED in terms of traits- Tough, Nimble, the whole nine yards. She is now roughly an equal to Crab and also has a page up above.
  • We found yet another archotech leg for @Comiphorous.
  • Casa de Bambu blew up a little, enough to destroy one of our most valuable sculptures but little else in terms of permanent damage. One of the guests briefly caught fire though.

That's about it. More Fujiwara-driven probability shenanigans forthcoming.
 
Mr._Bambu said:
ALL VSBW user profiles are done over here (except mine but he doesn't count). Also a lot of the NPCs. Will be more to come. @ImmortalDread is assisting in making a better unified family tree before we publish (or maybe she meant after we publish the pages but really that's on her if she meant that).
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This is actually so sick.

Looking at my profile, I'm feeling like a proud parent lmao
 
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