David stood there, watching Kiara walk away.
"That's right...I can do nothing." David thought, he collapsed onto the ground of the base, watching everyone leave.
“Nothing….yeah…nothing!”
"Who says I have to help these people or even try to contribute!? I'm just a guy. I'm just someone who tried to do something he never should have started..." David thought.
"....So what...if there's a threat going on? So what if people die? I...I won't be there. It won't be my fault. I can stay here, alone. and just...do nothing..." David thought to himself.
"Ha...yeah, I'm just a civilian. I'm just a bystander. They don't need me. Leave the work to the gods, to the real heros, to anyone else..." David said. For some reason, tears began to fall from his cheeks. He didn't care if there was people left in the base to see, he was too far gone.
"....I'm useless...and being useless is better then hurting people..." David muttered. He reached up and slowly began tugging at his hair.
“...Useless…” David repeated in his thoughts. Again and again and again, the word flash in his mind
"No more blood...no more blood on my hands." David thought
"Of course, Rory won't respect me, and Kiara won't respect me, and Dreadon will call me a dumbass, and I'll never talk to Gabriel again. But so what? who needs them? who needs ANY of them? I could just stay here...alone." David thought, the grip on his hair strengthening as he began to pull.
“...alone…” David repeated in his mind.
"...Yeah...yeah yeah yeah.....Masayoshi could leave me to, right? Why would she want to stay with a useless sack of shit like me? Who would? she'll find a man, a better man." A clump of his hair tore off of his skull, blood spilling from his head as he idly dropped it to the ground.
"And once she's gone...I'll truly be alone, and I can finally...end it. I can just...sever all my ties with everyone and end it all. As I should have done a long ******* time ago...like I should have done after the desert." David thought, nodding to himself rapidly, as if he was listening to his own, private conversation.
"Good...good good good. I'll stop...doing anything...I'll stop existing. Maybe...maybe that was the answer all along." David muttered.
"Ha! I sure wish I came to that answer back then...I would have saved myself so much ******* WORK." David thought. His hand reached up suddenly, his claws digging into his skull as he sobbed quietly.
"I wonder what they'll all say, when they find the body huh?"
"Oh, the idiot finally decided to off himself! Good riddance! That's what Gabriel would probably say. Rory probably wouldn't say anything, just glare at my body and move on. Maybe Masayoshi would cry. But who am I KIDDING? She'd probably be relieved that she wasn't chained down by a useless idiot like me anymore!" David thought.
David stared blankly at the ground for a moment, tears flowing down his body.
"...Just like when my parents died...just like then. I'll just...not do anything. Let the people die. Maybe they'll all die."
"......."
"......"
"......"
David laid on the floor for a while. Blood and tears mingled on his face, flowing from his skull and cheek.
"...but I don't want to die." David muttered.
"...I...I want to stay with Masayoshi. I want to hold her...I want to kiss her..." David thought.
"and...and I don't want to do anything. I want to help, I want to be useful. I...."
"I....I like helping people. I...I don't want the desert to happen again...but...I don't want anyone else to cause something like I did...either..."
"....I...if I don't try....wouldn't I still be responsible for the deaths I could have prevented...? David thought. He didn't have the answer to that. Not that he thought he could.
"......."
".....One more try...." David muttered. shakily, he stood to his feet, his head nearly hitting the ceiling as he stood to his full height.
"...I'll join....I'll join the group, for one last mission..." David muttered dimly.
"...If...if I **** up, like I did with the desert. If I endanger my comrades...If I do anything to screw up this fight..."
"...It's over."
Slowly...David made his way out of the hatch, following the trail in the snow the soldiers had left, eventually reaching their location.