Douchebag genie: Screw over peoples wishes

[azontr]

I wish time didn't exist.

 

[Oliver_de_jesus]

I wish time didn't exist.

Granted. Made now the universe would be static and nothing would happen, the funny thing is that everything would be white

 

[Emirp sumitpo]

I wish time didn't exist.

Granted, but without time, there won't be a moment where your wish was granted, meaning your wish won't get granted, creating something very confusing

 

[azontr]

I wish I was the sun.

 

[Oliver_de_jesus]

I wish I was the sun.

done but you are destined to be drained by a level 2 civilization

 

[Valiant_Abyss]

I wish to be able to transform, increase my strength significantly, and change my hair shape and color like a super saiyan.

 

[Epiccheev]

I wish I was the sun.

Granted, but you are immediately destroyed by the joint effort of a trillion lions.

 

[Emirp sumitpo]

I wish to be able to transform, increase my strength significantly, and change my hair shape and color like a super saiyan.

Everytime you do so, you feel immense pain to the point after you transform your get knocked immediately by all the pain you just felt, meaning you won't ever get to use that form

 

[azontr]

I wish I could fart explosions as strong as the big bang.

 

[Valiant_Abyss]

Everytime you do so, you feel immense pain to the point after you transform your get knocked immediately by all the pain you just felt, meaning you won't ever get to use that form

I wish to be immune to self inflicted pain.

 

[Epiccheev]

I wish to be able to transform, increase my strength significantly, and change my hair shape and color like a super saiyan.

Granted, but the only way to trigger the transformation is by letting someone beat you to half death and watching your loved ones get killed.

 

[azontr]

I wish to be immune to self inflicted pain.

The world around you will now constantly try to inflict pain on you.

 

[Arceus0x]

I wish to be able to transform, increase my strength significantly, and change my hair shape and color like a super saiyan.

Granted, but you can't control when it happens, so you might end up becoming normal while fighting or turn super sayian god while hugging someone

 

[Valiant_Abyss]

I wish to be happy.

 

[azontr]

I wish to be happy.

Granted. But your so happy your head explodes.

 

[Arceus0x]

I wish I could fart explosions as strong as the big bang.

Granted, but the explosions protrude into another universe while you feel all of the heat

 

[Arceus0x]

I wish to be happy.

Granted, you can only be happy now

 

[azontr]

I wish I was the concept of speed.

 

[Imaginym]

I wish to be able to transform, increase my strength significantly, and change my hair shape and color like a super saiyan.

Granted, but you can only do so during a full moon. (Or this wish is handled already.)

I wish I could fart explosions as strong as the big bang.

Granted, but you can only do so while unprotected in the vacuum of space. (Also claimed already. Fast thread.)


I wish for Uranus to burst into treats.

 

[Arceus0x]

I wish I was the concept of speed.

Granted, you are now an abstract non sentient existence that is only mentioned thoroughly in the dictionary

 

[azontr]

I wish Shub-Niggurath was my wife.

 

[Emirp sumitpo]

wish for Uranus to burst into treats

Granted, but they are all smelly and inedible

 

[Emirp sumitpo]

I wish to be happy.

Everyone around will feel the most intense pain and suffering. Leading to countless deaths and you just living a lonely existence

 

[Valiant_Abyss]

I wish to have a different Genie that isn't a douchebag.

 

[Oliver_de_jesus]

I wish Shub-Niggurath was my wife.

Granted. but you die by Madness hax type 3

wish: I want to purify my soul and erase all the bad memories, thoughts that torment me and especially my dark side who using the private search mode of google for things I don't want to say.

 

[azontr]

I wish to have a different Genie that isn't a douchebag.

Granted. But this Genie cannot grant wishes.

 

[Valiant_Abyss]

Granted. But this Genie cannot grant wishes.

y'know what. Fair enough.

 

[Epiccheev]

I wish Shub-Niggurath was my wife.

Granted, you marry her and have a thousand young.
They are all extremely annoying and difficult to look at
I wish i had a penny in a cup

 

[azontr]

I wish I was you.

 

[Emirp sumitpo]

Granted. But this Genie cannot grant wishes.

Then that's not a Genie owo

 

[azontr]

Then that's not a Genie owo

Ur mum.

 

[azontr]

I want to purify my soul and erase all the bad memories, thoughts that torment me and especially my dark side who using the private search mode of google for things I don't want to say.

Granted. But they come back a week later.

 

[Imaginym]

Granted, but they are all smelly and inedible

Meh, Not my problem, lol; Uranus is over 2.9 billion KM from Earth, & even if they all have a trajectory for Earth, & don't burn up in the atmosphere, Uranus is much more massive; Being smelly & inedible is the last of the problems for if & when the treats arrive, lol.

Then that's not a Genie owo

Eh, kinda is. See Aladdin, for 1 example; In a lot of fiction, genies grant wishes because they have to to be granted their freedom. A genie that doesn't grant wishes is often one that just has its freedom.

I wish I was you.

You didn't specify who you mean, so your wish is granted so that any time "You" could have a different definition, you change to match that, leaving your existence eternally inconsistent.


I wish that everyone prior in this thread who wished for superpowers would get them stolen by Sheldon Dinkleberg &/or Gary Oak, who would viciously mock their victims at every opportunity.

 

[Oliver_de_jesus]

Granted. But they come back a week later.

I mean nothing prevents me from being contaminated again, meh

 

[Epiccheev]

I wish i had an unlimited water supply contained in water bottles i can freely call on from a hammerspace at anytime.

 

[azontr]

QI wish i had an unlimited water supply contained in water bottles i can freely call on from a hammerspace at anytime.

Granted. But whenever you try to drink it the water becomes pee.

 

[Epiccheev]

Granted. But whenever you try to drink it the water becomes pee.

Good thing i watched all seasons of Bear Grylls

 

[Emirp sumitpo]

I wish to have hamburger

 

[Nullflowerblush]

I wish to have hamburger

Granted; however, you can never eat the hamburger.

 

[Oliver_de_jesus]

I wish to have hamburger

Granted, you has it but it doesn't have ketchup