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Be My Rimworld Pawns: Season 3

  • The Unending Pigman siege continues. It's been seven consecutive sieges, announced all in order before the first one even ended. This is ****** up.
  • I've decided to give the Darth Vader treatment to @Rakih_Elyan finally: our plasmasword-wielding sage will now receive powerful bionic legs to make him capable of rushing down enemies to melee kill them. He has decent psy-sensitivity (138%), so I may make him a royal for this, if only so he can get some rudimentary psychic powers. It isn't quite as exciting without VPE, but it's still good Lore.
  • We have decided on the cyberbrain-superpower dilemma with a coin flip. Therefore: @Lawiegg will receive a turbo-advanced cyberbrain (the same model we have in @Crabwhale, in fact) while @Arceus0x shall receive super powers via nanite injection. Now, I hear you: "Bambu, isn't this downing three pawns via medical shit while a huge train of sieges is going on?" Yes, but the sieges appear neverending anyways, so **** it. Better early than never.
  • One of our newer recruits tried to flirt with @Tllmbrg and then immediately after @DMUA. She then talked to another colonist about vomiting. This romance story arc is truly riveting, to think it all took place within our food freezer.
  • A trade ship came while one of our pets was in the landing spot. It made a squish sound and I feared the worst. Luckily, apparently, "squish" mean "nudged to the edge of the landing zone" and not "pulverized and landed on". So we have that going for us, which is nice.
  • An exotic goods trader brings wares: a masterwork jump pack for @The_man_with_the_Midas_touch, and an AI assistant with an intellectual module for @Topaz404, who is now more than ever a human computer.
  • A MASSIVE infestation spawned... mostly inside @Rakih_Elyan's bedroom. Rough. During the fighting both Rakih and @Armorchompy got taken down, turns out they excel much better against non-melee combatants in close quarters. Car-sized murder insects are a bit much. Both lived, both are fine. Other than that, only wounded was @The_man_with_the_Midas_touch who was shot in the back by @DMUA about 15 times with a machine gun, I placed them poorly in the hallway.
  • I named it Femur Destroyer, as more people liked DMUA's comment and I agree with the spirit of the name.
  • Turns out, @Rakih_Elyan likes having a ******* awful bedroom. The bug guts and shit hanging off every wall brings him a sense of calm as an ascetic. How convenient.
  • I don't think I mentioned it but there's this undead dragon that has fought every raid that shows up for about 1.5 in-game years, and it has survived thus far. We don't kill him purely because he enters combat with basically every raid against us. They always take him down after a lot of gunfire, but he can't actually bleed to death so it's just a long regeneration process for him to get back to fighting fit. He's lost his tail and he has a good amount of scars, but otherwise he's still just chilling outside our fortress, so I've named him Valefarion and have granted him honorary citizenship of the Legion. We take whatever natural defenses we can get. I contemplated having @Lawiegg tame him but I like the idea of him being free and fighting of his own volition.
  • There was a contract on the market for 20 ladies hats made of rhinoceros leather- we had exactly 1007 rhino leather, and it takes 50 leather per hat. So we had a perfect amount to do it. As if this were not enough of a sign, the markup value on the market was 647% (the highest I've seen), such that these 20 hats are worth almost 30,000 silver. An insane amount by all accounts, and so I consign @Tllmbrg to do nothing but make ladies hats for a few days.
  • Every now and then @Rakih_Elyan's legs despawn.
  • A "group of thugs" hailing from the Profaned Legion demanded almost 20000 silver to protect us from outside threats, potentially even those from them. We don't have that sort of money on hand anyways, but it's a funny premise, given that the Profaned Legion is almost certainly the weakest faction on this planet barring maybe the wookies. I dare 'em, I double-dog dare 'em to try something.
I haven't been playing much lately, since some friends picked up Magic the Gathering: Arena (@PsychoWarper) and I tried to not hate that game again. But, update is here. I continue on.
 
PsychoWarper said:
For reference if we where going by Pokemon logic Bambu has a 4x weakness to Dragon.
Click to expand...
For reference, it was Nitsu's blue deck and Sam's ******* frog that made me want to carve my eyeballs out with a chainsaw. I beat Psycho once and he beat me once, it seems like it just depends on which of us got first draw: I expected him to slaughter me because my deck was sorta dogshit with a lot of stuff that was blatantly not useful.
 
Mr. Bambu said:
For reference, it was Nitsu's blue deck and Sam's ******* frog that made me want to carve my eyeballs out with a chainsaw. I beat Psycho once and he beat me once, it seems like it just depends on which of us got first draw: I expected him to slaughter me because my deck was sorta dogshit with a lot of stuff that was blatantly not useful.
Click to expand...
You just gotta believe in the "heart of the cards" bro.
 
Mr. Bambu said:
For reference, it was Nitsu's blue deck and Sam's ******* frog that made me want to carve my eyeballs out with a chainsaw. I beat Psycho once and he beat me once, it seems like it just depends on which of us got first draw: I expected him to slaughter me because my deck was sorta dogshit with a lot of stuff that was blatantly not useful.
Click to expand...
Bambu also has a 4x weakness to Psychic and Dark Types.

Yeah, I got ******* 3 lands while playing a Dragon deck which is an expensive deck it truly be like that lol.
 
  • @ProbNotAFelon was sent out to disrupt an Orion Corporation siege by sniping at them alongside @PsychoWarper; the very first kill was their director, who had a railgun pistol that terrified me (as I believe it has enough armor piercing to actually harm and kill @Crabwhale, acknowledging that first they would need to destroy his forcefields). They successfully fought off the entire raid: the enemy began to flee before moving to actually attack the killbox head on.
  • We agreed to send 16 men to deal with an Imperial Deserter camp along with 6 Imperium soldiers, in return for a title (we will give it to @Epiccheev) that grants passive Honor (Honor being a currency that can either raise his Imperial rank or be used on things like summoning soldiers or supplies). I didn't want to send Crab as he was working on important projects at base, and @Arceus0x is in his pod getting superpowers for a few days, so @Lawiegg was sent to command our troops. This leaves @Tllmbrg in charge of base defenses until they return. It turns out, this will be a short mission: we arrived, and found only two Deserters. We have 22 pawns to kill them with.
  • The Profaned Legion showed up in a raid. They actually arrived in time to run into that Orion Corp siege, specifically the last unit of theirs to leave: an MBT (Mobile Battle Tank). The tank wiped out like 12 of the Profaned Legion before it died. Cool imagery of their bodies surrounding it just before it got out of the map.
  • A bunny self-tamed; I named it Orcus.
  • The storyteller has gifted us for our string of near flawless victories, with malaria. We are reviled by God, and yet we persevere. We defy the infinite divine: though our prize is death, we struggle on.
  • After a few rough fights, @Shmooply kinda ****** killed it during a recent raid. I checked his log, he had twice as many kills or downs compared to the next pawn. I have him with an unfortunately par weapon (an O.C. Defense Rifle, not as good as a lot of our standard arsenal but quick and compact, doesn't use a bipod), so we should like to get better weapons cooking soon.
  • @Lawiegg was hunting, and a megalouse began to eat another creature we had killed but hadn't hauled back to base. I had him shoot it real quick to stop it, as that was our food. The other megalice in the area then began to eat that megalouse. The circle of life.
  • During a drop pod raid by a handful of pirates, including some Warcaskets, I made the conscious decision to put another pawn, Budd, in danger in order to preserve @PsychoWarper's life; Budd was shot to death, with three consecutive shots to his sternum "bruising" him to death- what this actually means is they did a great deal of blunt force trauma until his torso ruptured. We'll miss him, as he wasn't a great combatant but did have 16 in Construction- I thought of him as @DMUA's apprentice. Good luck in Valhalla Budd, at least you dropped one of the bastards before checking out. As he died for him, it seemed only right to have Psycho carry him to his final resting place.
  • During another stint of Inspired Creativity, @DMUA created a second Legendary quality sacred column in our burial freezer; a fitting gravesite should one of us find ourselves in an extended period of death.
  • Zokeiv, our Beliar recruit, compared @Shmooply to a demon as an insult; while a poor insult already, because it is metal as ****, this is ironic given the Beliar are specifically made to look like demons, with huge hulking horns and red skin and ****** up eyes. Shmooply returned the insult by talking smack about her dad.
  • A flamingo phoenix entered our base and was eating our packaged survival meals for a bit before I realized it; so I had it killed. The thing about them is that they die in an explosion, and then spawn an egg that is fertilized, with the next one inside of it. They're functionally immortal, unless you destroy the egg. However, the option to manually destroy an item is not present. So I did the only sensible thing available to me. I told @Rakih_Elyan to eat it.
  • I've learned that with the Superpower thing, you get a Weakness as well. @Arceus0x is our first super soldier experiment: his experiment was successful, in that he gained the ability to breathe ******* fire, but now he is callous. This is effectively an upgraded version of the Psychopath trait, in that he no longer gets mood alterations from a shitload of things. I looked through the possible weaknesses and some of them are pretty rough- blindness, deafness, mutism, pacifism, immunological disorder, hallucinations, the list goes on. Still, I will happily subject Arceus to it again in the future. Superpowers are too rad to pass up.
 
Mr. Bambu said:
A flamingo phoenix entered our base and was eating our packaged survival meals for a bit before I realized it; so I had it killed. The thing about them is that they die in an explosion, and then spawn an egg that is fertilized, with the next one inside of it. They're functionally immortal, unless you destroy the egg. However, the option to manually destroy an item is not present. So I did the only sensible thing available to me. I told @Rakih_Elyan to eat it.
Click to expand...
Yummers
 
I didn't play Metal Gear, but isn't Sundowner literally also a psychopath
 
Mr. Bambu said:
During a drop pod raid by a handful of pirates, including some Warcaskets, I made the conscious decision to put another pawn, Budd, in danger in order to preserve @PsychoWarper's life; Budd was shot to death, with three consecutive shots to his sternum "bruising" him to death- what this actually means is they did a great deal of blunt force trauma until his torso ruptured. We'll miss him, as he wasn't a great combatant but did have 16 in Construction- I thought of him as @DMUA's apprentice. Good luck in Valhalla Budd, at least you dropped one of the bastards before checking out. As he died for him, it seemed only right to have Psycho carry him to his final resting place.
Click to expand...
Fly high brother
IMG_8202.webp
 
Mr. Bambu said:
who had a railgun pistol that terrified me (as I believe it has enough armor piercing to actually harm and kill @Crabwhale, acknowledging that first they would need to destroy his forcefields)
Click to expand...
Does this game do genetic locks or stuff like that, or did we just get this for ourselves now that they're dead along with their forces
Mr. Bambu said:
I thought of him as @DMUA's apprentice.
Click to expand...
I keep learning about personal connections I have through said individuals dying horribly
 
DMUA said:
Does this game do genetic locks or stuff like that, or did we just get this for ourselves now that they're dead along with their forces

I keep learning about personal connections I have through said individuals dying horribly
Click to expand...
Biocoded weapons are frequent- the better the enemy's weapon, the more likely it is to be biocoded, although this does not prevent the funny instances of people biocoding their ******* muskets. I dunno what you mean about "getting it for ourselves", though, our railgun pistol came from elsewhere. We have completed the research to make them ourselves, it is just insanely costly and thus I'm waiting til we have the garage situation sorted.

And uh... yeah, your pawn has lost a lot of people.
 
Computer restarted and ate about half a dozen updates, life is pain.

The biggest event that has transpired was that we sent out a caravan led by @Arceus0x with @ProbNotAFelon, @Rakih_Elyan, and @Tllmbrg to test out the former's new superpowers; there was a bandit camp that outnumbered our pawns by about 3-1, but given the opportunity to set up before engaging and the fact that we're armed quite well to deal with industrial-tech enemies, I wasn't too frightened: this proved to be fine as we handled them without a casualty or even wound. It got a little dicey when we were attacked on the road by an Undead Dragon manhunter, given we were mostly out of ammo (all but Felon), but Rakih fought it quite well by just stunlocking the ******* thing.

We also taught Femur Destroyer how to haul uranium to our nuclear reactor, which is a pretty neat trick.
 
  • @The_man_with_the_Midas_touch was in the prison trying to convert one of our captives when a prison break began. He shot one of the prisoners, reducing their arm to a fine red mist, but not killing them: I was elated, so I told him to resort only to melee fighting. Unfortunately he then proceeded to pulverize the very same prisoner's skull with the butt of his pistol, bruising the neck through it. The other escapee survived with minimal wounds, at least.
  • We still need to clean it out a bit, but this is the garage. It looks a lot better than it did, as we have removed the corpses of our enemies from the grounds- although, in a sense, they remain: we broke their bodies down into fuel, so now they're in those gas pumps. Funny how things work out. Anyways, the current plan is to set up two Marshal tanks, one Tango infantry fighting vehicle, two Wisent troop transports, one Roadrunner cargo truck, and two Skyranger VTOL ships. I may set up a big rig later if I find need of its ludicrous carrying capacity. At present, I expect @Tllmbrg to create much of the internals on these things, while @DMUA puts them together after.
  • We're giving @Armorchompy highly experimental, questionably moral genetic alterations, in particular we're attaching the muscular system of a muffalo to his spine, which is supposed to make him substantially stronger and faster. I've never messed with these sorts of genetic implants before, so it seems high time to start.
  • @PsychoWarper insulted @Tllmbrg's weapon skills so they began to fight just as a raid arrived. Horrible timing as usual.
  • @Arceus0x hunted a gazelle by walking directly next to it and sticking his machine gun into its face. This was highly successful, as he killed the gazelle he was after and two others unfortunate enough to be standing behind it.
  • Our most terrifying raid so far was a 9900 point raid from a group called the Gauntlet Company, which is apparently a shadow assassination-mercenary group operating out of glitterworlds. A battalion of their men were sent to Caeles, armed with the best possible weapons and armor in the game- railguns, atomization rifles, high-end charge weapons, the lot. I shit bricks when this happened, and for the first time in a long time it seemed necessary to at least have @Crabwhale on standby: we were not prepared to handle this shit. One pawn, Gukhrog, was shot a single time by a pistol and nearly died instantly: he'll need a new kidney and he's pretty ****** up, but he'll live. I'm still mid-raid as I type this shit, they just atomized (and I mean that literally) Orcus, our pet rabbit. They've also blown up a roomba. We're holding them back in the killbox. If we survive, a few of their guns aren't biocoded, and thus we will be better armed. Without sending him into combat yet, I have had Crab use some of his psychic abilities to blind a lot of their men, as well as render them nigh-unconscious via vertigo pulse, to give a few of the others (namely @PsychoWarper and @Lawiegg) time to get into position so they aren't obliterated. Otherwise I just have him standing at the entrance of our garage, ready to kill anyone who gets funny and starts charging down lane. Finally getting use out of all those low-shields we've had forever, moments of peace. I should note that these guys are also packing very, very good bionics; I've decided that this ************ is the leader, as he has a resurrection core. Luckily we only downed him. He will be getting a page, as he is very spooky. Bringing in a pawn with Whistling Birds was a good idea, lots of explosives down range caused them to decide to retreat: I should consider arming one of you with a rocket launcher but they're dogshit for sustained combat so I'm hesitant to do so. While they will still fire at him, I've decided to allow Crab to try to chase down as many as possible: each piece of usable gear is another step to the next tech level. Fortunately, many of them were just straight up out of ammunition: they brought zero melee combatants with them (thank Christ, I can't imagine what they'd be equipped with, I'm not certain we could kill one of them charging straight down the killbox, suppressing fire from Zokeiv and @DMUA is pretty much the only reason we're alive, as they ducked for cover rather than charge in). A couple of these guys had their armor literally torn to shreds- entirely destroyed- before we could harm them. Their gear was degraded off by the countless rounds we pumped into them and then they just walked away scott free. About half of the squad escaped, but we have more than enough pickings to make some big upgrades for some of you. I'm capturing a few of these guys just to uninstall their bionics: I will give respect to one of them, Maria Acominata, who stood up after being shot to unconsciousness, picked up the first weapon she saw, a ******* glaive from a past raid, and began charging down lane towards our now-empty defenses. She has the honor of living- first she will give her kidney to Gukhrog and then she will be shipped to our slave coerced service outpost. @Topaz404 was not involved in the combat but had the honor of executing most of the wounded, sick bastard.
that was a stressful combat, think I paused every second, sometimes a few times, micro-adjustments are important. small update overall as a result. General intel, our first Skyranger will be done soon, we're over halfway through making the parts for it, so pretty soon we'll be sending out our first invasion squads, probably armed with this new shit. EMRG-5s and APB-1s and charge guns and gauss lances. Very excited.
 
an update, so that silence is not treated as an ending: friends are returning to Project Zomboid and Barotrauma, and TCG Card Shop Simulator is consuming much of the remaining time. thus Rimworld is relegated to a side thing rather than all I play.

a micro-update of what has transpired up to now that was not deemed fit for a full post:
  • Sent @Rakih_Elyan and @Arceus0x, as they make a pretty terrific pair together as a light combat unit: one is our best melee character excluding Crab, and the other is our best ranged character excluding Crab (if not in skill, then for the fact that they could shoot him for 30 seconds straight with a minigun and he'd walk away with nothing more than a bruise or two). I sent them via shuttle so the mission could be finished instantly. We were warned that some other factions would be scavenging, and thus we should expect a fight... except it was our faction, and they were painfully poorly equipped (two of them lacked most clothes).
  • Our ultimate power source, the fusion reactor, has been completed. Before we generated about 60,000W to 65,000W, depending on time of day and weather conditions. This fusion generator alone generates an incredible 350,000W, with a core hotter than the center of the sun built out of practically indestructible materials. @DMUA was hesitant to stop building our new killbox-adjacent barracks, as he was on a Masterwork furniture building streak (something like 12 masterwork bedside tables, dressers, and beds are in there), but it is finally done. It has cost us over 100,000 silver and many active months of effort to build this damn thing. Now that it is here, we can power practically anything we want. I will consider adding another in the future depending on the gratuitous size our base may reach, but getting 48 magnetic coils sucks to do- they cost either 2000 silver ish a pop, or require constructing them out of advanced components, plasteel, and uranium.
  • I thank my past self that @Crabwhale cannot enter social fights due to being a Bellator, as both @Armorchompy and @PsychoWarper insulted that dude in a 30 second timeframe, and without that genetic disposition to calm, they would have lost a limb or something.
  • It turns out the loot from that mega raid is less OP than anticipated. Railgun ARs are expectedly absurd but the antimatter weapons mostly just explode, they have very little ability versus armored creatures (and we can already shred unarmored ones). It's better to avoid manufacturing ammo for them and just stick with AP-HE rounds. They'd be sick against tribals though. For now, @Tllmbrg @Arceus0x and a couple others are equipped with them. I assign @The_man_with_the_Midas_touch to be the officer in charge of the Railgun Squadron, as the pawn who has wielded one for the longest.
  • An exotic goods ship came by at our poorest and offered us the best cyberbrain in the game for a mere 8000 silver. Life can be cruel. Neither @The_man_with_the_Midas_touch nor @Epiccheev could convince the merchant down, I sincerely regret not giving the latter Word of Influence as his psycast.
 
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