Chell is heavy as **** (Portal 2)

[DaReaperMan]

2:24

GLaDOS says that Chell is too heavy for the Faith plate after adding a "few extra zeroes." I counted 8 beeps.

Seeing as these plates are likely rated for the average man, and the average man is at the low end 144 pounds. now lets add 8 zeroes to that.

144 pounds with 8 zeroes added is 14400000000 pounds

7200000 tons.

I think that's class M or really low-end Class G.

But let's super duper low-ball this shit and say that it was 1 pound GLaDOS did this with

100000000 pounds = 5000 tons

Still Class M.

GLaDOS gets some "possibly" Class M or Class G LS cause sarcasm and insults are her thing.

 

[Thelastmlg]

i counted 7

i'm confused what this feat is exactly

 

[DaReaperMan]

i counted 7

i'm confused what this feat is exactly

I still hear 8 TBH

Basically GLaDOS can make these plates yeet a lot of weight

 

[DaReaperMan]

But yeah even with 7 0s added the average of this feat is still class M

1 pound is a super duper low-ball seeing as this thing could still yeet Chell a decent height

 

[KLOL506]

GO TO HORNY JAIL YOU HORNY MAN

 

[DaReaperMan]

GO TO HORNY JAIL YOU HORNY MAN

This ain't even horny its just a funny feat

 

[KLOL506]

This ain't even horny its just a funny feat

Chell. You cannot fool me like that.

 

[CurrySenpai]

I think this is funny but how are we sure this isn’t just Glados insulting and picking on Chell? I question if her weight really is that.

 

[DaReaperMan]

I think this is funny but how are we sure this isn’t just Glados insulting and picking on Chell? I question if her weight really is that.

I know 100% it's GLaDOS insulting chell

I didn't say it too well in the OP but it's the faith plates that can lift and throw that much lol

 

[CurrySenpai]

I know 100% it's GLaDOS insulting chell

I didn't say it too well in the OP but it's the faith plates that can lift and throw that much lol

Ohhhh I see what the upgrade is for now. If so I agree.

 

[Sir_Ovens]

2:24

GLaDOS says that Chell is too heavy for the Faith plate after adding a "few extra zeroes." I counted 8 beeps.

Seeing as these plates are likely rated for the average man, and the average man is at the low end 144 pounds. now lets add 8 zeroes to that.

144 pounds with 8 zeroes added is 14400000000 pounds

7200000 tons.

I think that's class M or really low-end Class G.

But let's super duper low-ball this shit and say that it was 1 pound GLaDOS did this with

100000000 pounds = 5000 tons

Still Class M.

GLaDOS gets some "possibly" Class M or Class G LS cause sarcasm and insults are her thing.

Are we really going to regard Glados as a reliable narrator?

 

[DaReaperMan]

Are we really going to regard Glados as a reliable narrator?

She's reliable when it's an actual serious topic

In this case it's a possibly LS for her because those beeps could've just been, ya know, fabrications of adding numbers(zeroes in this case) so she could poke fun at Chell more

 

[Sir_Ovens]

You just poked holes in your argument. If we are to believe that Glados would indeed fabricate 0s to make fun of Chell, why would we in any instance take her word for it? This is after acknowledging the ridiculousness of the situation where Chell weighs as much as a cruise liner.

 

[DaReaperMan]

You just poked holes in your argument. If we are to believe that Glados would indeed fabricate 0s to make fun of Chell, why would we in any instance take her word for it? This is after acknowledging the ridiculousness of the situation where Chell weighs as much as a cruise liner.

Hence why it's a possibly, it's IC for GLaDOS to do that, but this is also Aperature Science we're talking about, they turned a human science assistant into an extraordinary genius AI capable of starting to do shit in a fraction of a Picosecond and made lasers at 37K degrees Kelvin among other things.

GLaDOS could be speaking truth on how much those things can Both lift and throw, we can't put that possibility away just because she happens to be making fun of someone by making an advanced fat joke

 

[Da3ggman]

This is 100% GLaDOS just being an asshole lmao. Gonna have to disagree

 

[LordTracer]

Yeah, disagree. This is just one of GLaDOS’ fantastic insults.

 

[Seol404]

Yeah I'm gonna say this is a bit of a reach, GLaDOS is making a "your fat" joke. Unless there is a lore given reason for Chell weighing as much as a cruise liner this should not be taken literally.

 

[Marvel_Champion_07]

Disagree FRA

 

[It_is_i_wyatt]

this is a bit of a stretch but it IS funny soooo im gonna have to say agree

 

[DaReaperMan]

ya'll are focusing too much on the title bruh, read the thread

 

[Ped2018]

Man, you got the whole site staff here just to cook you

 

[Jaften]

Yeah I personally don't see this as legitimate evidence for the faith plates being able to launch class M weight. The plates are never shown interacting with anything even remotely that heavy.

...I see this as merely evidence of GLaDOS ******* with Chell.

 

[DarkGrath]

With any level of common sense, I think you can infer that no, Chell does not weigh 7,200,000 tons. But to explain anyway:

It is a recurring gag that GLaDOS makes up nonsense to make snarky comments towards Chell. The video linked in the OP is literally a compilation of those moments. To even just quote the first thing GLaDOS says in that video as an example:

"Well done. Here come the test results: 'You are a horrible person'. That's what it says. A horrible person."

The test in question had nothing to do with Chell's morals - it's just GLaDOS being spiteful and making things up to pick on her. This is a very consistent gag throughout the Portal games, and GLaDOS claiming that she "needs to adjust the weight of the faith plate by a few zeroes" to a ridiculous number because it otherwise wouldn't work for Chell is just another example of this gag. She didn't need to adjust anything - she's just being snarky.

I shouldn't need to note more than common sense to say that Chell doesn't weigh 7,200,000 tons, but in case common sense isn't convincing, a rudimentary analysis of GLaDOS' dialogue should suffice.

 

[DaReaperMan]

With any level of common sense, I think you can infer that no, Chell does not weigh 7,200,000 tons. But to explain anyway:

It is a recurring gag that GLaDOS makes up nonsense to make snarky comments towards Chell. The video linked in the OP is literally a compilation of those moments. To even just quote the first thing GLaDOS says in that video as an example:

"Well done. Here come the test results: 'You are a horrible person'. That's what it says. A horrible person."

The test in question had nothing to do with Chell's morals - it's just GLaDOS being spiteful and making things up to pick on her. This is a very consistent gag throughout the Portal games, and GLaDOS claiming that she "needs to adjust the weight of the faith plate by a few zeroes" to a ridiculous number because it otherwise wouldn't work for Chell is just another example of this gag. She didn't need to adjust anything - she's just being snarky.

I shouldn't need to note more than common sense to say that Chell doesn't weigh 7,200,000 tons, but in case common sense isn't convincing, a rudimentary analysis of GLaDOS' dialogue should suffice.

ya'll are focusing too much on the title bruh, read the thread

Basically GLaDOS can make these plates yeet a lot of weight

Ahem

 

[Sir_Ovens]

That argument doesn't make sense either way because we've already established Chell isn't an ocean liner. The assumption that Glados could throw something of that mass is never substantiated anywhere else besides the already established joke that we aren't using as a feat.

 

[ElajRuengies]

The upgrade isn't that Chell weighs an absurd amount of weight, it's that the plates should be capable of launching a large amount of weight given how many zeroes GLaDOS can input into the them.

But yeah, it's a little sketchy

 

[DaReaperMan]

The upgrade isn't that Chell weighs an absurd amount of weight, it's that the plates should be capable of launching a large amount of weight given how many zeroes GLaDOS can input into the them.

But yeah, it's a little sketchy

Yeah lol

 

[Sir_Ovens]

That doesn't work either??? You have to actually prove the faith plates can actually launch that mass that doesn't involve an obvious joke that Glados is playing on Chell. The "zeros" don't exist here. They're part of the joke. Glados is literally making up fake noises.

 

[DaReaperMan]

That doesn't work either??? You have to actually prove the faith plates can actually launch that mass that doesn't involve an obvious joke that Glados is playing on Chell. The "zeros" don't exist here. They're part of the joke. Glados is literally making up fake noises.

I'm too lazy to watch the vid again does she pause to cause the beeps?

 

[Jaften]

Anyways yeah GLaDOS' statements here are not reliable enough for even a "possibly" rating, she is clearly heavily exaggerating for comedic effect.

 

[DaReaperMan]

Either way including joke battles staff thats 2 staff that rejected looking beyond the OP?

I mean either way the CRT's probably just gonna be rejected, but I expected that, it's iffy at best and the best is not what's happening here, can't blame a guy for trying, ya'll can close this if you want