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Be My Rimworld Pawns Season 2

Mr._Bambu said:
All I know about the prisoner is that she knows something embarrassing about the social graces of the faction leader who sent her. Dude probably quietly farts in public or something, and she found out.
Click to expand...
Guess I'll just harvest pumpkins with her
 
  • @Arceus0x and @Nierre are engaging in fraternization and will likely have to be court martialed if this keeps up.
  • @PsychoWarper is being sent abroad (alone, aside from his undead) to take a look-see at a legendary viking grave, maybe get us a cool magic weapon or something. Sending him because A. he's super unlikely to be downed and B. he doesn't eat any ****** food, which food is... a problem, in this one. Not having a freezer sucks ASS. Update: He killed the single warden of the grave and found a viking champion locked away in a cryptocasket. He was hostile upon waking, so they beat him to death- he was then risen as Psycho's new third undead attendant. I had him take two more as well to carry stuff- one was a Hussar-hybrid, so now Psycho has a super-warrior attendant, and the other was a weird hybrid that was just... huge. As far as I'm aware, they were about three times the size of all other pawns. I named them *****. He left with a good bit of gear, lots of mithril arms and armor on the dead.
  • A group of homeless beggars came to us asking for money to buy back their kidnapped friend and were immediately attacked by a mountain lion. Logically, they presumed the mountain lion to be an agent of ours and became hostile to us as the lion continued to eat their friend right next to them, while they did nothing. This was a Most Wise Move.
  • @Tllmbrg was standing staring at the wall for four hours until I figured out that I didn't set him to any labor tasks. He really appreciated that wall. He then built a mineshaft for us, perhaps inspired by the wall, who can say.
  • Poor @GreyFang82 will forever be roused from sleep to trade. We gotta get that 26% discount he has. We have to.
  • @Crabwhale and @Armorchompy are just mining for the rest of their lives, I figure. They love it down there, extracting marble, salt, silver, and iron from the earth.
  • @Rakih_Elyan, in a cruel twist of fate, got the colony's first inspired crafting thing. When this happens, the next thing they make will be two levels higher in quality than it otherwise would have been- potentially allowing for the creation of legendary things. Sounds great, right? Wrong. Elyan cannot Construct, and has a level 0 and 1 in Crafting and Art respectively- at best we could hope for normal quality from this, which is what we got in the form of a chair. A valiant effort was made, and it was funny in any case.
  • I'm sending Rakih along with Psycho's death-army to see about dealing with a nearby warcamp. Typing this before we actually get there.
  • Update on the immediate above: AAAAH LIGHTNING FIREBALL WHOOSH ROOF COLLAPSE CRUSHES EIGHT PEOPLE AAAHHH TIIIIME REVERSAL ELEMENTAL SUMMONING WOOOO WHY DOES THIS MEDIEVAL KINGDOM HAVE POWERFUL SOLAR PANEL PLATES NIERRE'S COUSIN WAS DECAPITATED I SHOULDN'T HAVE SHOT THAT GUY WITH A DEATH BOLT OH NO WAAAAAA AN ANGEL SWOOPS IN FROM THE TOP ROPE AND GETS BODY SLAMMED BY THE LIGHTNING FURRY THAT GUY JUST TWIRLED ALL AROUND THE BATTLEFIELD AND DID NO DAMAGE WITH HIS AXE ELYAN HAS BEEN DOWNED THREE TIMES BUT HE JUST KEEPS COMING BACK FOR MORE THREE UNDEAD THRALLS LOST BUT MAN WAS THERE A LOT OF LOOT HERE
  • Overall, the battle was worth it to attend, some legitimately nuts shit we found, but I assume a lot of it wasn't really intended. I'm stressed out, I'll be going through the spoils of war for a bit now.
 
Last edited:
so threats are generated based on your wealth

wealth takes into account your items and shit

our total wealth before going to this fight was about 140,000

our wealth after the fight is about double that

we're for sure getting nuked from orbit
 
Fraternization.
 
Arceus0x said:
illicit sexual relationships or illicit relationships with enemy groups?
Click to expand...
lennyface.jpg

  • @Crabwhale has attempted communion with a herd of muffalo, and failed. His apples were of sub-par quality.
  • Big equipment update for everybody following the raid @PsychoWarper and @Rakih_Elyan went on- the latter was two hours from death from the endeavor and Psycho lost about 60% of his undead horde. Crabwhale gets a masterwork mithril warhammer that he named Amarth-Hwá (update: he switched to a giant ****-off greatsword that does double the damage of the next highest weapon, which was being held by one of Psycho's skeletons for some reason), @Mad_Dog_of_Fujiwara gets a masterwork mithril swordlance, Psycho receives a legendary bloodstained scythe that was defaultly named Banemaker, @Epiccheev receives an excellent Thrum Bow (buh-dum-tss), @Comiphorous receives a named two-handed flanged mace called Argyros (named in this context means one step above legendary but not magical), @GreyFang82 got a masterwork mithril pike, @Armorchompy will make do with an excellent quality crossbow and be happy about it because it gets the ****** job done even if it isn't flashy, @Arceus0x receives a Staff of Blazing Power, which is as close to a machine gun as we will ever see, and @Tllmbrg got a excellent "glacial cleaver" which is actually a greataxe and does ice things. Oh yeah and @Rakih_Elyan got a masterwork flintlock pistol and a good-quality truesilver noble sword for his trouble.
  • Some far-off conflict must've gone terribly because like two country leaders died nigh-simultaneously.
  • I have noticed that basically everyone dislikes Psycho, because his pawn does not gain points for deep talks (but does lose points when he feels slighted), and because he is horrifically ugly.
  • The social interactions get left by the wayside a lot but I want to mention a drive-by insulting that @Tllmbrg did where he compared @Comiphorous' mother to a salamander for no discernible reason, just purely unintelligible
  • @Crabwhale was reduced to a sad wander because it was daytime. @Nierre got put into an insulting spree because she doesn't even like chess.
  • We have acquired a tome of flesh golem animation for @Epiccheev. Soon. Very soon. As soon as I figure out how.
Rakih_Elyan said:
I'M BACK CHUCKLEFUCK, AND I WON'T REST UNTIL EACH ONE OF YOU ARE DEAD.

Amitabha.

Anyway, what are my kills there?
Click to expand...

You've mostly killed non-humans, but total you have 52 kills with 19,554 damage dealt.

Arceus0x said:
Also @Mr._Bambu what does my lad look like (and his brother). You've shown others their character but not me
Click to expand...
Here yah go. We're working on armor for everyone now, it's taking a while since we only have the one anvil.
 
  • The ******* things you people get depressed about... @Mad_Dog_of_Fujiwara became overwhelmed with grief because THE SUN WENT DOWN
  • The first "boss" monster (if you deign to call it that) has fallen. A Daer (deer-bear, they're ******* huge) was killed by a joint effort of @Crabwhale @GreyFang82 @Comiphorous Fujiwara and @PsychoWarper (he got there in time to get one hit in, at least). There's a second one but I really wanna tame it, because a Daer mount for Psycho would go so hard. Only Grey was significantly wounded.
  • @Da3ggman watched as an owlbear attempted to kill @Tllmbrg while the latter was stripping loot off of corpses for smelting. He (Eggman) decided to enter a sad wander to go sit in a field of cotton for awhile. Gotta love pacifists.
  • @GreyFang82 and myself are the colony psychologists (we will either offer solid counseling or hit you onna head witha stick until you calm down)
  • @Tllmbrg saw someone fail a construction job and stole their resources to build something on the other side of the colony. He has also been named the official Corpse Plunderer of the colony on the basis that he's strapped enough to kill someone if he's bothered but also has a good amount of carry weight left over.
  • I have learned what salt is for, @Arceus0x was using it all to make preserved foods. The recipe doesn't list it unless you take a closer look, so I figured until we needed salt, I'd stop mining for it. We are now mining for salt again.
  • Speaking of Arceus, he began a fire starting spree in our cow pen. This is obviously no good so I sent @GreyFang82 to speak with him. He did so, but before he did so, his pawn saw Arceus set fire to a tree, and insulted his cooking skills. Understandably, Arceus was not receptive to that talk and began setting things on fire again.
  • @Arceus0x new staff is too powerful for his own good, WAY too much friendly fire if allies are in front of him, holy shit.
  • I sent a big raiding party to a fort we learned about in the desert. It was a pretty easy fight (some bees infested it, and plant monsters called Wildpawns), but then it didn't have tons to it: we got about 200 gold and silver for our trouble and a handful of items, probably most notably a set of elven plate armor (don't get too excited, "elven" just means its made of fancy ******' wood). We hit a prison camp on the way, which saw another of Psycho's undead fall in battle, as well as Psycho himself (not dead, just incapacitated). In return he received an undead angel as well as some other woman who arose with the same spellcast.
PsychoWarper said:
Bruh, yall are assholes ;-;
Click to expand...
The price of power is beauty.
 
Mr._Bambu said:
  • I have learned what salt is for, @Arceus0x was using it all to make preserved foods. The recipe doesn't list it unless you take a closer look, so I figured until we needed salt, I'd stop mining for it. We are now mining for salt again.
Click to expand...
Just go to any death battle comment section where a shonen verse doesn't win and we'll be set for life
Mr._Bambu said:
  • Speaking of Arceus, he began a fire starting spree in our cow pen. This is obviously no good so I sent @GreyFang82 to speak with him. He did so, but before he did so, his pawn saw Arceus set fire to a tree, and insulted his cooking skills. Understandably, Arceus was not receptive to that talk and began setting things on fire again.
  • @Arceus0x new staff is too powerful for his own good, WAY too much friendly fire if allies are in front of him, holy shit.
Click to expand...
 
@Tllmbrg saw someone fail a construction job and stole their resources to build something on the other side of the colony. He has also been named the official Corpse Plunderer of the colony on the basis that he's strapped enough to kill someone if he's bothered but also has a good amount of carry weight left over.
Click to expand...
Lore accurate Tllmbrg tbh, only thing remaining is me having horrible rizz
 
PsychoWarper said:
What kinda spells do I have besides Ressurect dead?
Click to expand...
You can still eat bodies (heals you rather than gives a permanent buff), you can shoot necrotic bolts that kill with high efficiency and give a ton of pain to the target, you can fly to rapidly cross a huge area, and we just got you to learn a scroll that allows you to drain mana from enemies (mages lose mana, if they don't have magic then you suck down life force instead). Without scrolls, you can learn to create a fog that functions as an AoE death bolt, explode corpses, and mark enemies for death (while also ******* with their willpower to continue fighting- make them worse while increasing your damage with death bolt against them).
 
Apparently Golemancers can make a "living wall" to attack enemies who get near our base, and idk why but the concept just sounds funny to me.
 
You all with your fancy haxes
Meanwhile I do some honest construction work and the occasional defiling of the dead
 
Mr._Bambu said:
You can still eat bodies (heals you rather than gives a permanent buff), you can shoot necrotic bolts that kill with high efficiency and give a ton of pain to the target, you can fly to rapidly cross a huge area, and we just got you to learn a scroll that allows you to drain mana from enemies (mages lose mana, if they don't have magic then you suck down life force instead). Without scrolls, you can learn to create a fog that functions as an AoE death bolt, explode corpses, and mark enemies for death (while also ******* with their willpower to continue fighting- make them worse while increasing your damage with death bolt against them).
Click to expand...
Sigg
 
Mr._Bambu said:
You can still eat bodies (heals you rather than gives a permanent buff), you can shoot necrotic bolts that kill with high efficiency and give a ton of pain to the target, you can fly to rapidly cross a huge area, and we just got you to learn a scroll that allows you to drain mana from enemies (mages lose mana, if they don't have magic then you suck down life force instead). Without scrolls, you can learn to create a fog that functions as an AoE death bolt, explode corpses, and mark enemies for death (while also ******* with their willpower to continue fighting- make them worse while increasing your damage with death bolt against them).
Click to expand...
What does my character have? Eat, stab and fireball?
 
Epiccheev said:
Apparently Golemancers can make a "living wall" to attack enemies who get near our base, and idk why but the concept just sounds funny to me.
Click to expand...
Yeah I've seen that, certainly interested in it because we have a tunnel chokepoint to the south (I eventually intend to fortify it with a castle on the other side) where that could go hard (I have no concept of how powerful said living wall is).

Anywho.

  • @Nierre and @Arceus0x are getting married/having a kid.
  • Our farming efforts expand to produce absurd amounts of food- since we can't freeze it, a lot of it will be lost, and we will have to fend for ourselves in winter. I have learned that peas are good, non-frozen, for OVER A YEAR. Pumpkins, onions, and corn are all also very good.
  • The Knights of Ulrik showed up on our lawn to battle a large group of furries. They fought for about two hours between the total 30 of 'em, the furries were defeated pretty handily- the knights took some trophies from their enemies, which was nice because they left their own heavily armored allies' corpses behind: so we get more free gear by right of not interfering. Nothing crazy but a few sets of armor never hurt.
  • @Epiccheev has been making... trousers. Tons of them. I set the order to have him stop when we had 9 pairs in storage of decent quality and durability... we have about 50. It seems like that particular mod isn't working right with registering how many we actually have?
  • @Tllmbrg's new axe is insanely cracked? He's not the most skilled fighter and yet he consistently still manages to instant-kill enemies. Him, @Crabwhale and @PsychoWarper are currently the principal defenders of the colony, with @Rakih_Elyan, myself, @Mad_Dog_of_Fujiwara and @Comiphorous serving as backup.
  • Tllmbrg also takes the trophy of "First colonist asked to take part in a diplomatic marriage"
  • @Da3ggman approached a stone wall today and felt the presence of evil, which means that there's a slumbering enemy behind it (probably a fuckload of mechanoids but it might be super modded so who knows). It's a shame because said wall was a shit-ton of ore.
  • @Mad_Dog_of_Fujiwara was the worst wounded when the spawn of Cthulhu attacked, but it was not by them- rather, @Rakih_Elyan accidentally shot her in the rib with his flintlock. Remarkably, @Comiphorous was perhaps the most swung-at in this fight, and yet the worst he got was sand in his eyes. He even has Cryptobleed armor which slows his bleeding- he is ideal to be wounded and yet is the only melee guy to avoid it. While Elyan had three shots hit allies (that I could find), @Nierre (the other on-hand ranged fighter) didn't hit anybody.
  • I have decided that we will eat the Cthulhu Spawn (and whatever other monsters show up). We're not desperate for food, just interested in exotic foods.
  • I've changed my mind, @Armorchompy having an arrow volley with a crossbow somehow is the closest we'll get to a machinegun.
  • We've detected a number of hostile working facilities and outposts near our base: food storage (over a thousand squashes, I'd kill six people for that) and a steelsmith (ALMOST a thousand ingots- enough to get some better gear made up for a few of ye).
Arceus0x said:
What does my character have? Eat, stab and fireball?
Click to expand...
Chaos magic basically allows you to randomly reroll your magical powers. At the moment, you have dominate (mind control AoE via fear hax enveloping a target that has a chance to snag others) and earth sprites (summon tiny motes of elemental energy that warp the terrain per our work orders- I haven't tried it yet but they may be able to indefinitely mine for us?)
 
Mr._Bambu said:
@Nierre and @Arceus0x are getting married/having a kid.
Click to expand...
skeleton-head.gif
 
Nierre said:
that... was fast
Click to expand...
I do not control that sort of thing, but it makes sense from a mechanical point of view. The game checks to see who's flirting and getting together fairly often, you're one of two girls in the colony that aren't strictly gay and the other one is the mouse- because she's a mouse-person-thing, she gets a malus applied to her chance at relations like that, so it's less likely.
 
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