The story's competent, and comprehensible, which already makes it better than 90% of fanfiction. It's a little impersonal writing wise, nothing descriptive, nothing to latch onto, everything feels so neutral when everything is so vague. However, this is a strength in certain scenes, and works against it in others. Plot wise, I don't understand fate in the least so I don't have anything to say about that, but why did Natsu not want to go home in the slightest? He just gets dumped into a different world and goes 'aight bet', other than that everything's perfectly fine. The fight scenes are once again a little bland, but never over stay their welcome and are easy to follow along. Which is a huge accomplishment because books are the worst medium for fight scenes. The interactions are well written, and while the story isn't anything to write home about, the plot is mad interesting, Natsu's perfectly in character and never becomes too much of a caricature so poggers.
It just needs a bit more flavor if that makes any sense, and you got yourself a banger.