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You vs. Toddlers

Pikaman said:
I would never actually kill a toddler, and feel uncomfortable even talking of performing said act in a hypothetical, so I’ll switch this to regular adult humans since that feels mildly less morally reprehensible and doesn’t change my answer.
Click to expand...
How weak.

Won't even kill a couple of toddlers to save yourself.
 
Zackra1799 said:
Considering the definition of weapon is defined as "a thing designed or used for inflicting bodily harm or physical damage" then I chose the spawn with a black hole that will consume toddlers until the heat death of the universe.
Click to expand...
I.. think the OP intended the “designed” part rather than the “improvisational use” part...
 
Gewsbumpz_dude said:
The age old question...

You mere minding your own business one particularly slow afternoon, until you were transported to a different realm. A realm consisting of an infinite, flat plane (lol). A voice booms across this endless world, an announcer of some sorts. It says that you might fight for your life against an infinite army of bloodthirsty toddlers from an alternate, evil universe. They will "spawn in" one at a time, one toddler every five seconds. You have to fight for your life and manage your energy as you war against the murderous infants with any real world weapon of your choice (or any finite amount of pitbulls, because funny), or you can utilize the toddlers themselves. After all, infinite toddlers just means infinite improvised melee weapons (Thanks for the joke, WeeklyBattles). If you were thrown into this situation, how many toddlers would you be able to take down (I.E. Kill or incap if you're soft)?

Note: This is all just a big meme. Don't crucify me.
Click to expand...
my real world weapon of choice will be the world itself, I simply have my own planet that the toddlers can't reach and get to live out the rest of my life as they all are destroyed via natural selection and starvation
my planet would also include an industry that makes the flat world highly dangerous with a radioactive atmosphere and spikes and various other things to make it uninhabitable, thus increasing my kill count as I simply sit on my planet in peace
and therfore, assuming a toddler dies every

assuming I kill one toddler every minute, I would end up with at least 42076800 kills in my lifetime, likely far higher
and therfore, I am the winner

just remember: the world itself is my weapon, no rule says it can't be multi purpose...
 
Honestly, I would say that is a bit much. But I never really set a limit on what you can use.

In the OP I did steal make a joke about using the toddlers themselves as improvised weapons, so....
 
ZillertheBucko said:
my real world weapon of choice will be the world itself, I simply have my own planet that the toddlers can't reach and get to live out the rest of my life as they all are destroyed via natural selection and starvation
my planet would also include an industry that makes the flat world highly dangerous with a radioactive atmosphere and spikes and various other things to make it uninhabitable, thus increasing my kill count as I simply sit on my planet in peace
and therfore, assuming a toddler dies every

assuming I kill one toddler every minute, I would end up with at least 42076800 kills in my lifetime, likely far higher
and therfore, I am the winner

just remember: the world itself is my weapon, no rule says it can't be multi purpose...
Click to expand...
If you wanna go down that route, create a solar system, with yourself on Earth and the sun neatly rested on the spawn point, you’d increase your rate 30-fold, killing every 5 second spawn instantly instead of within a minute
 
Pikaman said:
If you wanna go down that route, create a solar system, with yourself on Earth and the sun neatly rested on the spawn point, you’d increase your rate 30-fold, killing every 5 second spawn instantly instead of within a minute
Click to expand...
better idea, I just make a universe and the event horizon of a black hole in the spawn point will take care of the rest
boosting my kill count far beyond any finite value you could type out within your lifespan
 
ZillertheBucko said:
better idea, I just make a universe and the event horizon of a black hole in the spawn point will take care of the rest
boosting my kill count far beyond any finite value you could type out within your lifespan
Click to expand...
I mean, The Sun also insta-kills, the Black Hole is just overkill when both have the exact same rate of efficiency. Yes a High 3-A tasked with killing a 7-B for example will do the job instantly with a one shot, but so will a 5-C. One is obviously leagues stronger, but both are overqualified to the point their own differences are irrelevant
 
Pikaman said:
I mean, The Sun also insta-kills, the Black Hole is just overkill when both have the exact same rate of efficiency. Yes a High 3-A tasked with killing a 7-B for example will do the job instantly with a one shot, but so will a 5-C. One is obviously leagues stronger, but both are overqualified to the point their own differences are irrelevant
Click to expand...
the difference between a 0.1 seconds kill and a 0.0000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000001 seconds kill is very massive, and even though both would be "instant" the ending kill count on the latter would be higher since this is multiplication, not addition
 
ZillertheBucko said:
the difference between a 0.1 seconds kill and a 0.0000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000001 seconds kill is very massive, and even though both would be "instant" the ending kill count on the latter would be higher since this is multiplication, not addition
Click to expand...
Except both are killing at exactly the same speed, being placed in the centre of a sun will kill you at exactly the same speed as being placed in the centre of a black hole if I’m not mistake
 
Pikaman said:
Except both are killing at exactly the same speed, being placed in the centre of a sun will kill you at exactly the same speed as being placed in the centre of a black hole if I’m not mistake
Click to expand...
well heat moves at a certain speed slower than light but an event horizon is far beyond that since it sucks light in too
....I think.... I'm not a phycisist
 
Do i get access to explosives?
Assuming that i do my kill count would probably reach into the hundreds until i eventually blow myself up from incompetency and no knowledge in handling explosives
 
Monke snap necks

also nice;
699.png
 
Aguywhodoesthings said:
Do i get access to explosives?
Assuming that i do my kill count would probably reach into the hundreds until i eventually blow myself up from incompetency and no knowledge in handling explosives
Click to expand...
Well people have weaponised nukes, black holes, stars, and planets so I’d say a few bombs is good yeah
 
If that's the case, then yes, I crossbreed pitbulls and german shepherds to form the ultimate lifeform and annihilate the toddlers.
 
The toddlers have no wincon.

I could probably take out a hundred toddlers in, like, thirty seconds, go sit down far away from them to recover my energy, and repeat the process.

I shall fight for an eternity!
 
If this was based on survival time instead of kill count it’d be a way different story
I’d pay off the child and it would become unbloodlusted instantly and nothing else could spawn to fight me
 
I'll use...
a phone and a TV and get them to watch whatever popular kids show that they like, getting them distracted.
Then, I'll skedaddle outta here and use the Infinity Gauntlet to make all infinite kids disappear.
 
Well lets see, if im 6'4" with a size 15 4E, then i should be able to stomp out a bunch, no mtn dew because thats too easy 🥱 but in base i should stomp out about a couple hundred. maybe 500 if i smack foreheads full force :devilish: :devilish: :devilish:
 
I love how we gradually went from melee, to blades, to tanks, to nuclear weapons, and then weaponising cosmic entities, and then back to just fisticuffs
 
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