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Wow I didn't know my country was holding that guy hostage, why else would he have posted thay
 
>Be American

>Go outside

>Get shot

>Luckily protected by my 70% bodyfat

>Hop on to the lawnmower and drive to work at McDonald's

>(Insert famous country singer) is there

>God I love (person)

>Almost as much as beer and football (not that stupid kicking sport get out Europeans)

>While at work, vote for president

>Smile as I know I have done something the euros can't do

>Pray to the Constitution for boobs, beer and fast cars

>Go home, imoerialize and exploit some loser third world country (probably a commie zone)

>Go to sleep happy under muh flag knowing i'm protected by the platonic form of the second amendment

I love being an American.
 
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