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Dante Vs. SCP-458: The pizza strikes back

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So, I'm not a DMC expert, & would like the input of other people knowledheable about him. What win conditions could & would Dante achieve against a seemingly indestructible, "semi-sapient" pizza box & the pizza -of his favorite kind, no less, as per 458's abilities- inside?

My issue with 458 is its Unknown statistics. We don't actually know if this dang pizza box (If I'm reading it right, the box is the SCP, the pizza it creates, less so.) can actually be destroyed.

Come to think of it, Dante just leaving the box alone with a created pizza could render it unable to do anything. Would that count as victory by incapacitation?

Does he have any way to BFR it? Could he throw it into space? (Although, if the pizza & not just the pizza box are the SCP, what if the throw's momentum made the pizza spill out? That could ruin the BFR! ...And the pizza.)
 
If the pizza is no longer in the box, just reopening makes it trigger another pizza in it.
 
Not my point about the pizza falling out of the box. Getting the pizza out of the box wouldn't be the point of throwing the box with the pizza in it into space.

The reason I mentioned the pizza falling out is it's an unfortunate possible consequence, & it's more unfortunate if the pizza is the SCP rather than or in addition to the box because it means Dante just failed to throw into space, the thing that throwing it into space would allow him to achieve a victory.

The point would be to get it too far away from Dante to affect him, other than maybe leaving him sad he just threw away a box of his favorite pizza, & with the intent of not going after it for up to a whole day. (That is, victory by BFR.)
 
Ah. Well then, throwing the pizza box into space should get victory by BFR or Incapacitation, then, since it can't do anything to Dante if it's too far away & already has a pizza in it, right? (Well, unless it being "semi-sapient" makes it smart enough to try & make enough pizza it gains its own gravity to get back to Earth.)

But yeah. I'd assume Dante finally gets a pizza with everything on it but no olives, then maybe enjoys a "Strawberry Sundae pizza" with cookie dough dough & crust, ice cream in place of tomato sauce, probably strawberry/chocolate/caramel sauce instead of cheese, & strawberries instead of tomatoes, possibly with other toppings.

Just a shame it'll be an ice cream pizza & AFAIK, Dante's Standard Equipment doesn't include anything to use as a spoon. (Also, the box might get soggy, but that's way less relevant.)

But yeah. I imagine Dante can handle this by enjoying his favorite foods, then throwing the box away REALLY far.

(Oh & he might also be able to win via Yamato's Durability bypassing.)
 
Why are we putting an object with no offensive capacities against actual fighters
 
@CrimsonStarFallen: It can't really harm him (Except one way that's doubtful it'd even happen, that I mentioned above & will mention below.) & would technically lose to BFR or Incapacitation so long as Dante leaves it alone long enough. He'd get full eventually. That or uses Yamato on it.

@DMUA: I'd like to know this, too. Although, technically, if its semi-sapience is good enough, & its replication is unlimited, SBA making it willing to kill means it MIGHT be able to make an offence by creating pizza until it makes a black hole or too much mass for Dante to handle.

(TBH, with its so limited level of capacity for independence, I wonder if 458 wouldn't count as a Weapon rather than Character profile.)
 
It would qualify for a weapon, but even in canon it´s only used as an unlimited snack source, hell, it´s even a safe class SCP (Aka, someone has to interact with it to trigger its effects, in this case, make pizza).
 
Dante would probably have this as a thing in his place tbh. He has no reason to try to break it or throw it away.
 
@CrimsonStarFallen: I would like to say that, too, but Standard Battle Assumptions is a jerk.

State of mind: In character, but willing to kill. The characters will employ their usual battle strategies, including flaws such as being casual, however, must be willing to kill the opponent even if they usually won't.
Furthermore characters will not give up of their own accord. That means a character that is uninterested or sees no chance of winning won't simply leave and characters wouldn't simply become friends with each other.
 
CrimsonStarFallen said:
The same reason we put Kirby against a cake.
The Cake could legitimately destroy the planet

this is just a box that generates people's favorite pizza
 
Imaginym said:
But is there a limit to how much or how often 458 can self-replicate?
No, but the pizza can only be replicated manually by someone just opening it.
 
Unknown because nobody is stupid enough to open the box more then once after already getting a pizza
 
DMUA said:
Unknown because nobody is stupid enough to open the box more then once after already getting a pizza
It´s normal to reopen the box to see if there´s any remains, if the mass of the pizza inside the box is below about 5% and someone opens it, another pizza is suddendly made in it.
 
You know what's funny? By SBA, the fighters would stert4km away from each other.

WHy would travel 4km straight just to get some random pizza found off the ground? It would probably also already be cold.
 
Because its his favorite pizza

And the pizza doesnt get made until he picks up the box so it wont be cold
 
DMB 1 said:
You know what's funny? By SBA, the fighters would stert4km away from each other.

WHy would travel 4km straight just to get some random pizza found off the ground? It would probably also already be cold.
Because you're Italian and you're hungry
 
If I just found a pizza like that on the ground, unless I'm starving, I would throw it in the trash, regardless if it's my favorite food or not.

Especially if that object is indestructible.

Also, what stomps Dante from just throwing the pizza kilometers away from the battlefield? What can the Pizza do to Dante other than existing?

This battle is like putting a man against a gun that has no wielder.
 
Technically, Dante is MHS, so he's moving at a minimum of 343,000 m/s. If the box did start with pizza in it, he could DEFINITELY get to the box before the pizza got cold; 4 kilometers is nothing at that speed.

But there isn't much reason to assume he'd even spot the pizza, unless he has some sort of enhanced senses I don't know about. It's a box, would probably be on the ground, & default location is Central Park, New York. There's plenty of grass, bushes, trees, & such that could obscure the box. Heck, if it starts in a body of water, any pizza inside could get really messed up... if there is any.

(Also, just to be sure, Dante doesn't have any allergies or human-edible foods he can't digest, right? And he wouldn't eat himself to food poisoning, would he? Not even in an attempt to get rid of the SCP?)
 
This battle is like putting a person against another one, but the latter has already been indexed prior to the battle.

Also, what happens if Dante actually eats the pèizza? does another one get created, Does the box have to make Dante fat to win?

And what about if a person doesn't likethe pizza at all? Does the box make a nonexisting pizza?
 
1: Nothing beyond that what would happen if he eated one.

It only makes another pizza when the previous pizza has been taken out, it´s closed and then opened again.

2: So far, it has been sometimes gived to SCPs that dislike human food, and they even said they liked it, but said that it could have been better (as it´s limited to make pizzas with human digestable material).

3: Probably the box has to do that, either that or just give him diarrhea to incap.
 
Well, Dante cant destroy the box for its "invulnrability", and he just simply eats and eats and eats... until he gets a heart attack from all that fat eaten or goes to the bathroom for a long time to consider either Incap or Death for him. Vote goes to infinite pizza. Delicious.
 
Giving Dante infinite pizza to eat over and over till he gets a heart attack from all the fat from the pizza hes eaten. Not to mention, he cant destroy the pizza box as it is deemed "indestructible" via experiments. Thats why im voting 458
 
Si, dije espa├▒ol a la inglesa xd.

Anyways, Dante can lose by being knocked out by unhealthy amounts of junk food.
 
Dante can also just win by throwing the pizza far away enough. It's immobile, & SBA says he's not just going to give up. Pattern recognition will tell him he can't "win" like this.

Although, given Dante's character, "losing" by our debating rules would probably feel lik a "win". Infinite, free pizza that's his most favorite kind.
 
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