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A Lawyer Fights a Cow: Phoenix Wright vs. ...well, Cattle

Jackythejack

Jackythejack

They/Them
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I have too many stupid fights, but here's another one. Phoenix Wright vs. Cattle. 9-B versions are used, and speed is equalized. The fight takes place in the middle of courtroom most Phoenix Wright cases are in. Winner is decided via K.O or death. Phoenix's weapons are also restricted. Only his 9-B self and nothing else.

PhoenixWrightAA6
Cow PNG2127
Moo
 
Hykuu said:
Cow's are real
he is a fictional character Cow wins via transcending
Click to expand...
That's not how it works. You need to give a reason why if Phoenix Wright encountered a cow or cattle, he would win in a fight.
 
Phoenix Wright via higher intelligence and range with weapons such as the pistol in his evidence, as that is not restricted from what I can tell.

And this isn't a dumb fight. Coming from the guy that lowkey made a controversial 10-B VS 10-B, Bulma from Dragon Ball VS Elesa from Pokemon.
 
....can I see that thread? Because that's amazing.

I love dumb fights, especially when they pick up some attention.
 
Jackythejack said:
....can I see that thread? Because that's amazing.
I love dumb fights, especially when they pick up some attention.
Click to expand...
I'll try to find it. It's fairly old. And I might do a redux XD
 
If you do i will most certainly vote on it.

Those are the kind of strange fights I want, man.
 
If 9-B Phoenix is allowed a gun, Phoenix shoots the cow to death. If not, unsure as of now. Irl bullfighters are a thing, and Phoenix here is stronger than anyone who ever lived, so there's that going for him.
 
Phoenix also has the egde via it being a fight in a courtroom. Not only does he know the layout, but his opponent is a bull trying to kill him; Phoenix can stand on top of or behind or under furniture, in places the bull might not fit.

From there, he can make attempts to attack, or goad it into wearing itself out by ramming it into the courtroom. Lots of property damage, but he could just argue self-defense.

With the property damage in mind, splintered wood, broken furniture legs, & even the judge's mallet may all be helpful weapons, especially if splintered, as he can then use them with his Striking Strength to stab the bull, possibly in the neck, or stomach. The head is an option, but I doubt it'll be that easy to impale its brain with wood.

That said, it's... questionable if Phoenix, as his profile is, has the better stamina. I mean, he should have some great stamina feats, but TECHNICALLY, we're supposed to STRICTLY go by what's on the profile, and....

Stamina: Peak Human (Can debate with prosecutors for several days in a row.)

....That is not the best testament to stamina I can think of, especially when he might get to eat or sleep, & debating is not that physically exerting an activity. Seriously, I DO believe he has good stamina, but Phoenix's profile needs a better justification.

The cattle's stamina is much better.

Stamina: Unknown | Very high (Can carry large objects for hours)


But yeah. Considering Phoenix has survived being charged by a tiger, ran over by a car, falling off a burning bridge into a freezing lake & other stuff.... Not all at once, & without seeing the dialogue/scenes for myself, I'd question if he did so without injury, of course.

But I'd think he has a good chance of survival here. Although, Phoenix's lack of combat training, combat experience may hurt his chances here.
 
A cow would have enough force to knock him out, resulting in a KO victory, Though, phoenix might be smart enough to try taking it more safely, tackling the cow.
 
Wasn't Phoenix charged by a tiger, though? Correct me if I'm wrong, but if he can survive an attack from a much more feral (and possibly stronger, I don't know for sure) animal, why would a COW be able to knock him out?
 
Rember that 9-B cattle are bulls. Those are pretty big and strong animals.
 
That is not the 9-B version. Bulls are still cows in the sense of being the same species anyways.
 
If 10-A humans from real world can domesticate the cow, there's no reason why a 9-B fictional human can't beat it. Or, he can just lure it into some room or house or china shop and lock the cow in there for incap.
 
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