• This forum is strictly intended to be used by members of the VS Battles wiki. Please only register if you have an autoconfirmed account there, as otherwise your registration will be rejected. If you have already registered once, do not do so again, and contact Antvasima if you encounter any problems.

    For instructions regarding the exact procedure to sign up to this forum, please click here.
  • We need Patreon donations for this forum to have all of its running costs financially secured.

    Community members who help us out will receive badges that give them several different benefits, including the removal of all advertisements in this forum, but donations from non-members are also extremely appreciated.

    Please click here for further information, or here to directly visit our Patreon donations page.
  • Please click here for information about a large petition to help children in need.

Sayōnara, my beloved friends at Vs. Battles Wiki

Status
Not open for further replies.
Anyway, given that this thread is rather controversial, is it fine if I close it, or should it remain open?

I don't think that's neccessary. The reason why the thread was controversial for a while was because of a banned user, and considering that the thread is still decently new there's likely more people that want to say their goodbyes to Sera.
 
I was never able to fully properly interact with you Sera since a year ago or so.

It's clear that you've had a similar issue as me, on trying to seek a "true" friendship over the internet, to see more familiar faces over topics you know and all.
I know it's sad to find out that most of the users you may find are actually acquaintances at best and don't really care about you beyond being knowledgeable on a topic, or just being a tool for their goals, but among these people, I can assure you that at least one of them will really miss you and hope you do well whenever you are.

I can really symphatize with this as I've been in pretty similar situations before (As some may remember the CorgiWithAnOrgy situation I had), but don't give up, I'm sure you've already got your goal in some way, and now that you've overgrown the need to interact with anonymous users, it may be for the best on your part to draw a line to keep your life healthier, but remember that we'll always be there if you change your mind, myself included.
 
Last edited:
I might not have interacted with you at all, and I might have internally disagreed with you more often than not, but you still had a lot of passion in you for this site, and I could at least tell that much. Sucks that it has to end this way, but hopefully you'll be able to find more happiness in the future.

Keep on keeping on, I wish you the best out there.
 
I wish I could just leave something merry like a lot of the people did above, but I want to just say something clearly to you. Something I should've said a while back, but I was too prideful to really go about.

I'm sorry.

I feel like over the course I was on this site before I took an "official" leave, I didn't act particularly the best toward you. The timeless voids thread is the one that comes to mind, but there were a few other instances here and there where I didn't act particularly nice to you. I let my views of VS Debating influence how I treated you as a person in those older times, and I can see that this type of behavior that I and some others would give you most likely just made your situation worse. I'm sorry for playing any possible role in making you feel worse about yourself through those tense interactions.

You are a person with your own life too, and that's something a lot of people seemed to forget. I know I did at some points. You've been through a lot when it comes to things like doxxing and having incredibly personal content being shared with others out of paranoia, things people shouldn't have to experience. It sucks you had to endure that all, but I have to say that I find it personally admirable that you were able to stick out such harsh situations and keep going. Even if it has led to this point, you still have my respect for realistically all the work you put in to help better this community and aid the people in it. I'm not sure if you're reading this considering the note, but I feel this closure is necessary regardless to atone for my past mistakes.

I hope your future goes well Sera and that you may have more prosperous conditions outside of the internet, you deserve it.
 
This is a good decision and in retrospect, should have come a lot sooner. This place is meant for fun, enjoyment and pastime. And if it brings you nothing but struggle and negativity, you're better off without it. This activity is supposed to bring you some positivity, not immense negativity. One's health should be the most important thing above all else.

I don't agree with a lot of what you said. I personally think that line of thought is extremely dangerous and just... bad. I'd just advise you to see a therapist and get better.

Good luck for your future endeavors, Sera. And if you're having trouble staying away from this place (it happens, it's very common), please ask for a ban. You can still stay in touch with people off-site. Take care. I wish you a happy rest of the life.

EDIT: Sorry I am late. I have been going through my own things and couldn't comment even when I wanted to, and can't write a long post like others due to the same limitation. This is all I could manage.
 
Last edited:
Sayonara, Sera. I hope you have the best of luck. I wish that your depression, anxiety, stress, and other such factors go away soon.

Edit: I never met you on the site, but, the huge negativity and struggle must've been really painful and stressful. Again, I really wish you the best of luck, and that you overcome your depression. Goodbye, Sera.
 
Last edited:
I can't afford a therapist anymore, and even if I could, my past experiences with them have not been pleasant or helpful.

I've seen therapists in both Korea and more recently in Japan, but all they do is try to tell me what words mean which feelings.

I've seen psychologists but all they do is try to drug me up.

Mental health is actually an underdeveloped and under-researched field in Japan, that's why there's so many suicides among young people despite their parents normally being able to afford it.

I used to talk to family, but ever since I threatened a relative they became afraid of me which is why I'm partially a country away from them now.

My in-laws hate me and think I'm some kind of demon.

I even tried spiritual helpers, like Buddhist monks or Shinto priests. Nothing.

I only retreated to the internet to escape after I tried every available option to me. Unfortunately unlike most people, my demons follow me wherever I go. Escapism is not possible for me, but I won't try to force people to care about my problems and ruin others' escapism anymore.
 
This is a good decision and in retrospect, should have come a lot sooner. This place is meant for fun, enjoyment and pastime. And if it brings you nothing but struggle and negativity, you're better off without it. This activity is supposed to bring you some positivity, not immense negativity. One's health should be the most important thing above all else.

I don't agree with a lot of what you said. I personally think that line of thought is extremely dangerous and just... bad. I'd just advise you to see a therapist and get better.

Good luck for your future endeavors, Sera. And if you're having trouble staying away from this place (it happens, it's very common), please ask for a ban. You can still stay in touch with people off-site. Take care. I wish you a happy rest of the life.
I agree with AKM.
 
Here is a copy of the standard instructions that our wiki gives for these types of problems. Very unfortunately, that combined with the self-help advice that I gave you earlier, is likely all of the practical help that an online community can realistically provide for you. In order to feel better and recover, you need to do proven to be constructive things in reality, just like I did back when my mind was practically destroyed by a long period of wholly destructive bad overmedication and serious trauma.
 
Goodbye Sera.

You were the greatest person in this website, I think, with no exaggeration. You were always kind, understanding, patient and friendly with everyone you interacted with, as well as intelligent and often an inspiration to many. To me in particular, I think you had a specially important impact. And to many others as well, no doubt.

I won't write an overwrought long statement because I already talked about this elsewhere. Only that while it's sad to see you go, I perfectly understand why you'd do it. I'm going to mis you, Sera, but I wish that you and your family have the best and happiest life ahead of you.

Goodbye, friend.
 
Wow, it feels like only yesterday you were being promoted to being a moderator for all the hard work you've done and now this happens. Guess this is what I get for not being in this wiki for years. I remember seeing you in some threads before your promotion and thinking "This seems like a person who knows how to handle things here", and I was right from you being a valuable member here but also wrong hearing how stressed and worn out you've been doing this on top of everything else.

I won't lie, I've seen things both in the threads and out of them to tell me how bad things can get here so I completely understand why you would want to just stop, especially with all the work you've been put through. No one can say you didn't deserve this retirement. You did a great job and I hope you still be proud of that despite everything you went through.

Even if you don't think you can't find any peace or happiness after everything, I hope you can find those things one day, because everyone deserves to be feel happiness and be at peace.

Anyway, Sayonara Sera. I may not have known you personally, but I and everyone here won't forget you. That's a promise.
 
Goodbye, I don't know you at all and I can't speak about my impressions of you, but just from reading this, I hope you can move forward and overcome the struggle. That's, for me, what life is all about. (Well, don't mind my personal philosophies, but speaking from experience is the most honest words you can give to someone)
 
Good Bye Sera. I don't have much to say, as this situation all that is to be said has already been said.

I wish that this is the move in the right direction, and that you achieve happiness wherever you are, whatever your decision is. I know only a small part of what you've gone through, and that only because I've been here for a few years, but I can say that you are easily one of the most compassionate and relatable people that I've met here. I wish I could've known you better, but most of all, I hope you find the peace you deserve.

Your presence will be missed.
 
Farewell. Come back anytime.

And if anything, remember: the Internet is just an extension of the reality - "reality includes the Internet". Try to be more mature and independent instead. Through experience one should become stronger to any degree. And as salty as it can smell and taste: "reality includes time".
 
Last edited:
Unfortunately, this is not a joke nor a drill. I'm sure some of you saw my message on Zark's sever. It's all true, I'm finished. I have been a part of this community for nearly 5 years and I can honestly say, this place has brought me nothing but pain. Over the years, I have met various wonderful people. However, I made a fatal mistake in believing these people I know on the internet could be anything more than just that. I put too much faith in them, and I shouldn't have.

The truth is, I am meant to be alone. Not in the literal sense, as I do have family but in the sense that I should stop seeking out meaningful friendships, at the very least online. I am an emotionally damaged person. I have endured a constant cycle of:

Going through tragedy > getting depressed > being fed up with others who irritate me during that depression > have homicidal thoughts about those people > feel disgusting for even having such thoughts about hurting another human being > have suicidal thoughts as a result > come nearly close but come to stop myself and appreciate life more.

Rinse and repeat.

For 13 years, this has been my life. Regardless of the good or bad. I joined the site out of recommendation from my husband (who was my fiance at the time). This place was a refuge to get away from that cycle but it sadly only intensified it. I go through being accused of being a sockpuppet, sexual harassment, being accused of faking the birth of my daughter, dealing with attempts to dox me, and a host of other things—all while being a member of this community, and a staff member at that.

Additionally, tiers eventually became extremely taxing to discuss. There is still so much hypocrisy in the community, the staff, everywhere, that it became annoying to have to my force myself through trying to help manage this site out of a sense of duty.

My life seems to just be riddled with tragedy and I have found a number of reasons to stay away from a community like this (or perhaps the internet as a whole). As from experience it has only made things worse.

I feel like I'm dying and being resurrected again and again. Each time losing a piece of my soul. Friends manage to put me back together but it is simply a temporary solution.

I own a katana, for the primary purpose defense, but in my lowest moments I've been caught with that blade directed at my chest. As the pain continues, I seek more and more attention from friends. A sympathetic ear so I can just get everything off my chest and hope I stay sane and safe longer than the last time.

However as time went on, I've become more abrasive, people have become fed up with me always bringing my problems to them, and everything gets worse. Who am I to disrupt them really? My life shouldn't be something anyone else has to constantly worry over, especially when they come to this place but escape their own problems. I excepted too much from them, and for that I am sorry. However, it did not help for those people to claim to care in the first place. To say they could lend an ear but eventually grow tired of it. It left me confused, but now I know exactly what's going on...and I will have it no more. Either from others, or especially myself.

I am done with the pain. I'm done with the lies, I'm done with drama, I'm done with the accusations of trying to start drama, I'm done with people only being sympathetic once and then becoming uncomfortable later (as if people just get over hardships over night). I'm done talking about tiers and I'm done pretending staying in contact with most of the people on these servers is worth it anymore.

On my own part, I'm sick of the pain, I'm sick of bringing my issues to other people (it clearly makes them uncomfortable), I'm sick of expecting people on the internet to provide a sympathetic ear, I'm sick of my own faults as a person.

I'm done. No more. As the words of "In The End" by Linkin Park go: "I tried so hard, and got so far...but in the end, it doesn't even matter." I lost faith in others, but more importantly, I lost faith in myself to keep going. I don't care to continue on this path, or this way in life. I need seclusion and I need peace. People, however much I may come to love them, always bring me pain in the end.

To remedy this once and for all, I'm leaving VSBW, I'm leaving Discord, and I'm leaving the internet in general. I am so sorry everyone. Perhaps I shouldn't have put that much trust in you. You didn't deserve me forcing such absurd high expectations on you.

Regardless of absolutely everything I have said above, I still love you all very much and will never ever forget you guys.

Sayōnara, tomodachi

Farewell, my lovely friends. 💖
I'm sure this wasn't an easy decision.

Take care. I hope you succeed in life and I hope you improve health-wise overall.
 
Okay, so after reading everything in the OP. i literally almost cried myself. i have so much respect for you how you where capable to just keep going and i still hope that you will keep going and you will it’s not easy to go through things that you have been through, but the thing I respect the most of you is that despite everything that you have went though you never turned a bad eye on someone or insulted them as far as i can tell at least, despite everything you have went through.

I really wish you the absolute best of luck.
The truth is, I am meant to be alone. Not in the literal sense, as I do have family but in the sense that I should stop seeking out meaningful friendships, at the very least online. I am an emotionally damaged person. I have endured a constant cycle of:

Going through tragedy > getting depressed > being fed up with others who irritate me during that depression > have homicidal thoughts about those people > feel disgusting for even having such thoughts about hurting another human being > have suicidal thoughts as a result > come nearly close but come to stop myself and appreciate life more.
No one is not meant to be alone even the most terrible and malicious people in the world have feelings and emotions they just don’t know how to express themselves in and make themselves trouble for everyone to hate them because they feel worthless but despite them trying they are still getting love and attention because those close to those people know that that isn’t their intention and look past the bad things they have done to try and touch the good small side inside them in the hope of making their happy little heart glow and become bigger and eventually defeat the evil inside themselves, look a lot of people have that cycle it it’s not just you if you explore things that you were afraid of exploring you would be surprised by how many other people go through the same thing.

I feel for you, I really do, but we all wish you the best, honestly and if I could, I would have helped you. But I can’t, but whatever you going through, never and I repeat, never thinking about killing or harming yourself. You are loved you are respected, by so many more than you think all put their willpower inside you to defeat the devil inside yourself, now it’s your turn to do so as well, never give up, and whatever things you get thrown at you just ignore them because you are just who you are, of course it’s not good to go through things like this but you are crafting your own characteristics your own personality you are interesting you are relatable, you have the thoughts of when do i ever hit the end of the pit, but it’s not the pit of suffering it’s the pit of exploration if you have eventually come out of your problems you would be surprised how many others don’t help you wish you could help them just like we do for you.

Your parents made a very special and strong Star, You.

You will find yourself and overcome this i wil believe that and when you will everyone will be cheering and clapping for you.

Good luck 😊
 
Last edited:
I'm done. No more. As the words of "In The End" by Linkin Park go: "I tried so hard, and got so far...but in the end, it doesn't even matter." I lost faith in others, but more importantly, I lost faith in myself to keep going. I don't care to continue on this path, or this way in life. I need seclusion and I need peace. People, however much I may come to love them, always bring me pain in the end.
It does matter. You lost faith in others, but that doesn’t mean that you need to lose faith in yourself. You have to just keep going what will you solve if you where to do something terrible to yourself it doesn’t end the suffering it only increases it for others and at worst those close to you will do the same thing out of crying and being sad, it’s not just you it’s the situation where in makes so many people go insane and lose their mind but it’s not a permanent thing it’s more of a suttle test to see if you can still fight back hard things in life does exist it’s just how you look at it. but what does it really mean to have pain it’s normal for us to have pain if we fall and not feel pain then we are just lifeless rocks, finding peace is really a hard thing to do but you have to seek what is causing it to, you can’t just give up on yourself because you were not strong enough, you are more than capable of being strong enough your depression is a part of you it’s a extension of your feelings and a extension of you if it’s a part of you can control it you just have to find a way how to.
I feel like I'm dying and being resurrected again and again. Each time losing a piece of my soul. Friends manage to put me back together but it is simply a temporary solution.
It’s called experiencing humanity: You are not losing your soul, you increasing it’s knowledge. The more you know, the more you will fall and that’s what makes us human, relatable, some in other ways than most. We all learn from each other; it’s an inspiring thing. It’s just the way of how you look at things and how you experience them. If your friends are capable of putting you together then sure you can if you know what’s causing it, no one knows you better than yourself, your own mind is attacking you because you feel worthless, but in reality you are not, if you make yourself worth something then there is no reason to attack yourself because your something important, our minds complain all the time it’s called criticism, it’s normal your mind attacks you because it’s ticking you to try and see if you still feel. In fact, everyone here dies and resurrects himself. It’s called sleeping — if we don’t sleep, then we never rest. Maybe try and do some activity to get yourself out of that rest mode. Yes, you will say that it’s hard to do because I’m not feeling well, but listen, you need to make yourself worth something.
I can't afford a therapist anymore, and even if I could, my past experiences with them have not been pleasant or helpful.

I've seen therapists in both Korea and more recently in Japan, but all they do is try to tell me what words mean which feelings.

I've seen psychologists but all they do is try to drug me up.

Mental health is actually an underdeveloped and under-researched field in Japan, that's why there's so many suicides among young people despite their parents normally being able to afford it.

I used to talk to family, but ever since I threatened a relative they became afraid of me which is why I'm partially a country away from them now.

My in-laws hate me and think I'm some kind of demon.

I even tried spiritual helpers, like Buddhist monks or Shinto priests. Nothing.

I only retreated to the internet to escape after I tried every available option to me. Unfortunately unlike most people, my demons follow me wherever I go. Escapism is not possible for me, but I won't try to force people to care about my problems and ruin others' escapism anymore.
Therapists and Priests are all just opinions, after opinions. You are the one who knows your mind the best. If you try and talk to more people about it, it will only increase the chances of making the problem bigger. Your in laws don’t hate you if it did you should have stopped to keep going, you're not a demon just because your change doesn’t mean that you are not yourself anymore, your demons don’t follow you anywhere you go you follow them and you listen to them they are threatening you with things that are important to you so you stop caring about them in the hope that they will go away, but don’t do that if you end up liking nothing then there is no point in trying to find something you like does it? You just have to force through your demons even if they try and spam you with stuff that’s important to you, spam it back with counters, and if you will eventually do so for long it becomes an automatic thing, you just have to stop caring about the things that your demons tell you to stop caring about or just find positives about them, or just go on liking it even with it's flaws regardless nothing has to be forced to be logical.

I’m just trying to help. That’s all!
 
Sadly. I had to learn these things by experiencing it myself. And. I simply can’t express for me how difficult it was, but you come to a point that you just don’t care anymore. And move on. Luckily, the world is so big that everyone finds something that can cure them; nothing is impossible!
 
Speaking as somebody who experienced extreme suicidal depression for a few years before I came to the wiki, and has convinced at least around a dozen people to not kill themselves afterwards, I also think that Galactic Astronaut likely makes good sense.
 
Sadly, most people in the world are ending their lives due to a lot of things. You would be surprised how chaotic the world could be. And i can name so many things. But I don’t want to. If everyone followed their first instinct and never sat and calmed down, so many things would happen.

Never look at one guy and judge them by their looks or personalities. Because you never know what they have been through and the reason why they look or just are that way.

Sadly to many people overlook this and just follow their stubbornness.

So many movies dable in this concept it’s insane.
 
Last edited:
I agree with Galactic, even I have been through a lot of those things before; and was especially going through those stuff back in fall 2019; losing faith, becoming mentally unstable, sleepness nights, being forced to work harder IRL than pretty much the rest of the work place put together, and dealing with harassment pretty much every where RL and online I go during those periods. And while there is no actual cure for psychological events on more extreme levels, there is always a way to cope with it and there's always going to be hope no matter how bad things get.

First of all, one of the most common myths people are taught from childhood is "Sticks and stones can break my bones, but words can never hurt me." Words actually indeed can hurt on a psychological level, but the words alone cannot kill one another. However there are also words of encouragement that can mend those wounds. Everybody does need help, for some; a therapist or faith associated advisor works wonders. But for others, it may also contrast what is actually needed. It can also be your best friend or sometimes even your enemies can also help you. Maybe the only reason enemies were made was due to double sided misunderstandings, or even if two people are fighting for opposite principles, they may have common goals or the enemy side may be a lot more honorable than given credit for. Sometimes, the help you need is in the place you least expect to look. Saying, "I have tried everything and nothing can ever work" is like claiming one has successfully counted to infinity". It is impossible for any human being to truly try "Everything" when there's always going to be possibilities. There is an infinite number of possibilities, that goes without saying.

So in other words, I know Sera is not going to read this due to being inactive here. But these will also be words of wisdom to share.
 
Status
Not open for further replies.
Back
Top