I never knew my real parents. I was told by vs battle staff that when I was born, my Father got banned from fandom, for posting scat on andytrenoms wall. It was only a week before the day of my birth. My Mother had an extremely difficult delivery, and she left after getting smacked on a discord debate. Even though I never knew my parents, I miss them, with all my heart. I never got to read their posts, their debunks, their ctr's, or their memes.
I grew up in the supervision of vs battles with many other users my age. Sometimes they would pick on me, and hurt my feelings. The admins would not offer much support, as they seemed not to understand. The only comfort I found in my empty life was Azathoth the abyssal idiot. His blogs brought joy to my day, and his posts brought material value to my arguments.
On the day of my twelfth birthday, I woke up, slipped on my Lancer T-shirt, and made an announcement thread. The other users gathered up to mock me as usual. They pointed fingers, mocking me for the fact that I had no friends outside of the wiki to come to my birthday party. "You don't have any friends," began Matthew Schroeder "other than Azathoth of course." The users laughed. "Even an idiot like you should know that Azathoth is busy." I didn't get kudos, post memes, or laugh with my pals. I simply went to my profile, and wrote in a blog. May 18th, I wrote in the corner of the post. I have been messaged by people all day, but I have never felt more alone. I put the keyboard down and disabled comments.
I took a deep breath, and was surprised to find my notifications filling with some strange messages. I saw a soft, fatherly profile at the top of my message wall. "You were never alone" said the post. "Not now, not ever." I turned my head and spotted a looming purple name. "Az-azathoth?" I whispered. "Is that you?" "Aye, it is. I'm here for your birthday, Laddie." My heart rose, a smile crossed my face. "Really? Thank you, Azathoth. This is the happiest day of my life!" I told him, elated. "Come with me, your presence is required on this thread" he said.
I hopped up, clicked the link, and rushed to the rule violations thread. The users all looked at the Azathoth and I as Azathoth posted on the thread. What could the present be, I wondered. I was so excited.
Azathoth winked at me, before crouching down and putting out his hands infront of him, like a minecraft zombie. He began a bashing on the keyboard, and used his position to ban every single one of them. I could see the edits being reverted and the satisfying symbol saying blocked over the profiles of the users. Azathoth smiled, and wrote down the ip's of the surviving users by their names, until he had them all in his grasp. With his free hand, he opened the fandom contacting option and let his lengthy, pungent email spring into the message box. With one overhand swing, he reported the users ip's to fandom effortlessly. Fandom blocked all of their profiles, until they finished, with a torrent of globally banned users. Azathoth tossed the users aside.
No words were exchanged. My body, writhing with desire, seemed to read his mind. He looked me in the profile, and within an instant, I knew what I had to do. I give in to my basic primal urges, and lunged at Azathoths still open message wall. Grunting and leaning down, I exposed my numerous questions to the bureaucrat, and let him educate me. Word by word I was claimed. I bit my lips and began to cry, as facts, knowledge, and logic consumed my soul. Soon, Azathoth filled my message wall with another flash flood of juicy information. He added me to the knowledgeable members list, and approved of my content revision.
I was exhausted, but satisfied. Azathoth congratulated me, made me an admin, and headed for his bed. "Wait, Azathoth!" I said. "Stay with me, please. I want you to be my Daddy." Azathoth chuckled and smiled. "I am your Father, Laddie, for all who truly contribute to vs battles are my children." Azathoth gave kudos before hopping onto his bed, into the crisp real world. I close my eyes as I think of my last thought before drifting to sleep. Azathoth is love. Azathoth is life.