Koyomi Araragi vs Jesus (Madness Coombat)

[ThisThingisReallyBroken]

Turns out, Jesus doesn’t like monogatari. Pretty cringe amirite? :tsukihicringe: uwu owo rawr mav love me.

Koyomi

vs

Jesus

Speed unequal (reactions would help? Can equalize if stomp)

Koyomi has all optional equipment + prior knowledge about Jesus.

Fight takes place in the cram school


Jesus:

Koyomi:

Incon:

 

[Shmooply]

Turns out. Jesus doesn't like Monogatari. Pretty cringe amirite? mav will never love you

 

[ThisThingisReallyBroken]

Jesus proceeded to get groped by Koyomi for the next few days. Few heard from him after.

Ok so Koyomi has a 6.7 times AP advantage. What do Jesus do.

 

[Shmooply]

In all seriousness, though. Since the fight takes place in some random school, Jesus wouldn't start with his sniper rifle, so he'll use his revolver and then his sword later on. Taking the location of the fight into account, are there... any school children around? For obvious reasons.

 

[ThisThingisReallyBroken]

No.

It’s a reference to the abandoned cram school he usually hides out in.

Koyomi has a mobility advantage too with surface scaling. Especially since Jesus has no room to fly.

 

[Shmooply]

Koyomi has a mobility advantage to, with surface scaling. Especially since Jesus has no room to fly.

Why can't Jesus fly around? He doesn't only fly outdoors, not to mention...

 

[ThisThingisReallyBroken]

Oh nvm.


Jesus outskills pretty hard here. That much is clear since he is on par with Hank in terms of skill, gunplay and over all beating the shit out of people.

The main advantage Koyomi has here is his AP and healing factor. Jesus will have a very tough time trying to deal with someone six times stronger.

Koyomi also has some ranged tools like a few balls to throw at Jesus too

 

[Shmooply]

healing factor

Both have good regen, not to mention that Jesus can casually walk around with half of his head cut off.

Jesus will have a very tough time trying to deal with someone six times stronger.

Fair.

Koyomi also has some ranged tools like a few balls to throw at Jesus too

Jesus absorbs them with his forcefield creation, and then throws them right back at him with the same speed and force he used to launch those balls.

 

[ThisThingisReallyBroken]

Except Koyomi has much better Healing. High-Mid.

Koyomi could likely dodge and if that doesn’t work, can extend his arms into tree branches and impale Jesus from a distance.

 

[Shmooply]

can extend his arms into tree branches

Jesus has Class K lifting strength

Not a good idea.

impale Jesus from a distance.

The same guy that survived plenty of gunshot wounds and also happens to have type 2 immortality? That's gonna be a massive mistake, especially if Jesus tries to rip his arms off.

 

[ThisThingisReallyBroken]

Jesus won’t be able to do so, since Koyomi is 6x stronger than him. Ripping would be a very difficult task and any damage done will likely be healed.

Fair on the LS, but that was meant for poking the old South Park cartoon rather than picking him up.

Koyomi will likely be hurt from that attempt but it won’t impede him in any major way. He can likely just run across rooftops and ambush Jesus by bombrushing him. Shaking off gunfire as he charges at him.

 

[Shmooply]

did you seriously just use a jailbreak term

He can likely just run across rooftops and ambush Jesus by bombrushing him. Shaking off gunfire as he charges at him.

Jesus is not a moron, we've already established that. If he sees a madman run towards him while not being affected by his gunfire, he will be able to evade him due to his acrobatics, flight and teleportation. Not to mention, he has other weapons in his arsenal, as he can summon a cannon and such.

Speaking of, since Jesus supposedly doesn't have a lot of room to fly around, what's stopping him from giving himself more room to breathe by destroying the roof above them and exposing sex offender Koyomi to natural sunlight?

 

[ThisThingisReallyBroken]

Fight takes place where the characters are strongest, so it would be night. He would have to hold off Araragi until day comes, and even then he won’t be stupid. He will hide from the sunlight and just make Jesus come to him instead.

Jesus isn’t a moron, but irrc vamps don’t make sound as they move (or just very little). He would have a hard time trying to predict Koyomi’s moves in a dark, soundless cram school.In which Koyomi knows the full layout off.

 

[Shmooply]

but irrc vamps don’t make sound as they move (or just very little).

Not on his profile.

He would have a hard time trying to predict Koyomi’s moves in a dark, soundless cram school.

Jesus has fought in some dark areas before, not to mention that him and other nevadeans are already pretty well adapted at fighting in dark places considering that Hank literally ******* killed the sun.

 

[ThisThingisReallyBroken]

4-C Hank

Fair enough, but being in a cram school would prolly be a little darker. Considering normal stars wouldn’t be there to light up surroundings.

Hmm. Jesus would still have a tough time actually wearing down Koyomi. It’s likely Jesus would get exhausted before Koyomi does considering the durability and regen. Guns would also run out of bullets too before he can actually kill him.

 

[Shmooply]

Fair enough, but being in a cram school would prolly be a little darker. Considering normal stars wouldn’t be there to light up surroundings.

How in the **** would being in a random building filled with windows in a universe that obviously has plenty of stars and the moon be darker than a world where there are no stars and the sun's dead.

It’s likely Jesus would get exhausted

This is the same guy who, again, while being badly wounded and suffering from a disease that was not only slowly killing him BUT also making him puke a bucket-load of blood, managed to slay multiple groups of enemies and even managed to get to the "secret" base of their boss. Jesus isn't gonna tire anytime soon.

 

[ThisThingisReallyBroken]

Alright fair enough then.

Koyomi has his own “acrobatics” too and can jump 20 meters in the air. So they can sort of match each other in that department.

Irrc, Jesus doesn’t spam or teleportation too badly with his fights with Hank. So when Jesus doesn’t fly or teleport, it’s likely he’ll be dead or badly injured in two punches.