Kid Friendly Warhammer Announced

[DMUA]

Then I can't be too mad at this, then. It IS adorable...except those pictures of the kids staring forward. Seriously, it feels like they're trying to claim my soul.

Well I mean considering this is Warhammer they probably are trying to soulsucc.

 

[Theglassman12]

What could pawsibly go wrong?

Fixed it for you. OvO

 

[DMUA]

....Wait, wouldn't that mean Slaanesh also encourages kids to go emo & slit their wrists?

Crawling in my Crawl

 

[DMUA]

"Bravest of all are the heroic Ultramarines."

FFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFf...

.... I feel like I'm missing something. How bad are the Ultramarines?

 

[C2_of_Omegon]

"Bravest of all are the heroic Ultramarines."

FFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFf...

.... I feel like I'm missing something. How bad are the Ultramarines?

It's not that they're bad but for a long time a particular writer over at GW tried to turn the into 'DA BEST SPESSH MAWINES EVA'.

To quote him:

"The Ultramarines are undoubtedly the best Space Marines ever. Yes, really! Thanks to the heritage of Guilliman and their myriad heroic deeds, the Ultramarines are the exemplars of the Space Marines. With a few fringe exceptions who have severe mutations (Blood Angels) or stolid stubbornness (Space Wolves and Dark Angels) all Space marine chapters want to be like the Ultramarines and recognize Marneus Calgar as their spiritual liege."

 

[DMUA]

disgusting

Where are my Black Templars at?

 

[Matthew_Schroeder]

As much as it sucks, Ultramarines being the best is kinda canon:

 

[Phoenix821]

The Ultrasmurfs are unstoppable

 

[C2_of_Omegon]

The Ultramarine's record speaks for itself. It needs no embellishment. THAT was the problem. Matt Ward couldn't shut up about them. Honestly, the battle between the Ultramarines and the Nightlords does more the Ultramarine's rep than Ward ever could.

 

[Overlord775]

didn't Guillman resurect and is tring to change the imperium in to a better place ? maeybe this is after he has refored the empire

at least If papa smurf doesn't get almost killed agai

 

[RavenSupreme]

Do I look Kid friendly to you?

 

[Ricsi-viragosi]

Do I look Kid friendly to you?

Compared to some of the stuff in steven universe this immage looks tame enough

 

[ZacharyGrossman273]

I imagine a kid liking the new books then learning the emperor isn't really in charge anymore, the high lords of terra are, the imperium literally enslaved and mind controls people, and the necrons would be literally unstoppable if awakened.

 

[Ricsi-viragosi]

My sister likes warhammer... Shes 9

 

[ZacharyGrossman273]

 

[Ricsi-viragosi]

 

[DMUA]

My sister likes warhammer... Shes 9

I mean, I remember playing Warhammer when I was like 10.

Though the only stuff I knew about the lore was "There done be aliens that want to eat everything, space robot thingys, Chaos dudes, guns, The Emprah of Mankind is a corpse strapped to a throne and Eldar are a thing too"

What I did not know was how the Emprah erased Horus from every possible level of existence, is a High 1-B psyker, the Eldar are a dying race because they decided to have a to of... Reproduction, thereby creating Slannesh, the entire Galaxy is just generally going to hell and that the Space Marines are sometimes pretty sucky people.

 

[Ricsi-viragosi]

I can say for sure that my sister knows of the product of too much sex (what blasphemy is too much sex anyways) and space marines being pretty bad sometimes.

 

[ZacharyGrossman273]

 

[DMB_1]

Khorne, the God of Ketchup.

 

[DMUA]

KYLE FEEL ASLEEP UNDER THE CAR!

someone get that reference

 

[ZacharyGrossman273]

 

[NuclearPixelemental]

 

[ZacharyGrossman273]

It's amazing how much these profiles (Both the Space Marines and the Necrons') read like Imperial Propaganda. In fact, if they said that these books are supposed to be in-universe children's fiction, I'd stand up on my chair and applaud Games Workshop because that would be absolutely brilliant

For Who? Children in the Imperium? Including a pacifist and someone who avoiding recruitment into the imperial guard? Obviously not for anyone else since it still portrays the imperium as good guys.

 

[Soldier_Blue]

 

[DMUA]

For Who? Children in the Imperium? Including a pacifist and someone who avoiding recruitment into the imperial guard?

They'll probably either be mocked horrendously and ostricized to Oblivion or die terribly offscreen.

 

[Wokistan]

They basically have to delete the entire race of the dark Eldar, though the way they refuse to use the word chaos is actually kinda similar to the GEOM's original idea that if nobody knew of or spoke of chaos it would just go away. Chaos isn't even a religious term though, why would that even be removed

 

[ZacharyGrossman273]

The best way they COULD have done this is by making it still grimdark, but the main characters are good even though the imperium isn't, the violence isn't gory, and Slaanesh is censored but still the pleasure god. Especially if the planet is a low population one.


But it looks like they're making something that's either not canon or ruins everything by making Warhammer noblebright.

Dark preteen series do exist, http://tvtropes.org/pmwiki/pmwiki.php/NightmareFuel/Animorphs

 

[Wokistan]

They could kinda imply that this sort of stuff is in universe Imperial propaganda, which would make some of the stuff like how they refuse to mention the word chaos actually make a lot of sense in retrospect, but even with that angle there's still stuff that is totally contradictory no matter how one looks at it.

 

[ZacharyGrossman273]

>Imperial propaganda

>Pacifist and draft dodger as two main characters

 

[Wokistan]

Yeah, that sort of stuff was what I was talking about with that last sentence lol

This just isn't really a series that can be marketed to kids that well, between the complexity of the board game compared to other stuff and how the plot works, but I guess that you could conceivably do Tau stuff if you really wanted to squeeze out a lighter and softer angle. Just don't mention anything said about the Tau from people who aren't the Tau

 

[ZacharyGrossman273]

Tau are relatively kid friendly. Just let the kids not realize how weak the Tau actually are in 40K until they get older.

 

[Numbersguy]

Tau are relatively kid friendly. Just let the kids not realize how weak the Tau actually are in 40K until they get older.

Shas'la "BLOOD FOR THE GLOOD GOD" T'au Kais.

Shas'la "THEY GOT AWAY" T'au Kais.

Shas'la "SURRENDER IS FOR *******" T'au Kais.

Shas'la "WHY I CAN'T COUNT ALL THESE SKULLS?" T'au Kais.

Salutes you.

 

[Wokistan]

"relatively"