Captain America vs Movie Shrek

[Professor_Voodoo]

Battle Of Physical Punishers!


Location: Cluckin Bell



Rules Of The Bout

• Both fighters are in character, though personality restraints from violence are removed.

• Victory is only obtainable via fatal means.

• Both fighters start on top the building.

• PIS/Outliers are not allowed.

 

[Professor_Voodoo]

Bump cuz why not?

 

[EliminatorVenom]

Captain. While Shrek is stronger and more durable, Captain has the shield, skills, agility and speed advantage. Captain will take this, mid diff.

 

[Professor_Voodoo]

Anyone else?

 

[HomestuckLover1]

Shrek can fart strong enough to knock people into buildings (Shrek Super Slam) and his shouts can actually move things, I don't know how you'd quantify that, but I do know that the strength of that noise could probably kill a person.

So I'll go with Shrek.

 

[Azathoth_the_Abyssal_Idiot]

Cap can take hits like this . move like this, and dish out damage like this. Going with cap.

 

[HomestuckLover1]

Cap can take hits like this . move like this, and dish out damage like this. Going with cap.

Not one of those was Cap tanking anything. That was his shield.

1st pic: Cap's shield, the same shield that people like THANOS has trouble breaking tanks the force of Thor's hammer. No surprise there.

2nd pic: Captain America dives headfirst with his shield covering him to avoid lasers. I see nothing here of him tanking anything. It seems kinda impressive that he managed to dodge lasers but from the scans it looks more like he was just kinda diving headfirst there and got lucky and quick enough to destroy the thing.

3rd pic: Context please? I don't know what I'm seeing here. All I see is that an exploding truck has cracked Cap's shield which is massive PIS.

 

[Azathoth_the_Abyssal_Idiot]

1st pic: I'm showing that Cap's shield, which he always has on him, can tank hits from heavy hitters like Thor, even when he's going all out.

2nd pic: I never said it was him tanking anything? I'm showing how fast he is.

3rd pic: Cap's shield isn't cracking. That's a spark effect as he's just thrown his shield straight through a truck.

 

[HomestuckLover1]

Shrek could always manage to get close and take the shield away from him. He is stronger after all.

Oh, my bad. But I addressed that too.

My bad again.

 

[Azathoth_the_Abyssal_Idiot]

I don't think Shrek is fast enough, for that.

See above.

Cap should also be the superior fighter, as he knows a vast number of fighting styles and just where to hit.

 

[HomestuckLover1]

He could keep him in one place by constantly spamming farts and screaming.

I already did see. Like I said, what happened there mostly seems like dumb luck.

That's true, but remember, this is the guy who got impaled in the ass and didn't even feel it.

 

[Azathoth_the_Abyssal_Idiot]

Isn't that game only Shrek?

Cap mentions in the scan that he has both perfect timing and perfect aim. It's also not an isolated incident.

True, but being resistant to pain isn't the same as being immune to having your pressure points messed with.

 

[HomestuckLover1]

Nothing in the rules says games aren't allowed. Also the screaming thing is still done in the movies.

The fact that Cap says that the lasers will close in on him in seconds kinda makes the feat seem a bit unreliable.

 

[Azathoth_the_Abyssal_Idiot]

I assume that would be something that would need to be mentioned, as they're not explicitly canon. Also, is there anything in those that significantly raises Shrek's speed? Because it doesn't seem like he can keep up.

He said they'd "zero in on me in seconds", which means they'd lock onto him, not that they'd already been fired and were coming towards him. Those would be some slow lasers.

 

[HomestuckLover1]

Shrek is pretty agile in that game. He can jump high enough to get on top of buildings and can dodge things as though he were skinny (but he's not)

Oh. But doesn't that just mean he probably predicted where to throw and where every laser would go after hitting the shield? Regardless, it's a crazy amazing feat, but that doesn't say much for his speed per say. Mostly his reactions.

 

[Azathoth_the_Abyssal_Idiot]

That's pretty legit, but I don't know if it puts him at bullet-timer levels, though.

Reactions are pretty important. If you want more of a movement speed feat, there's this.

 

[HomestuckLover1]

Well he could dodge arrows from Robin Hood. Not sure how fast they are though. I'd have to look at him in the movie and that game.

Hmmm. Yeah, I can see Captain America possibly speed blitzing Shrek. The only thing I think could save him is if he farted whenever he got close, but I'm not sure how long that'd last considering who he's going up against.

 

[HomestuckLover1]

So I think I've been persuaded the other way 'round. I say Cap wins. Shrek definitely stomps movie Cap though.

 

[Stevethebarbarian]

Cap throws his shield and tears Shrek's head off, no problem. Shrek is tough, but Captain America is at a whole other level.

 

[Abscoolguy]

is this joke or not

joke: shrek bellyflops

real: cap fires his shield at shrek's head and it comes clean of

 

[OceanMan24475]

Captain America throws his shield and cuts Shrek in half

 

[Tapionjr]

If games are allowed, Cap stomps cuz he can defeat Galactus in UMVC3 kek