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Be My Rimworld Pawns (Again): Season 4.5

Mr. Bambu said:
Perhaps all of this recent fighting was @FinePoint's way of asking for a new life. I have not given it to him, but he has finished his plantwork recently (he's up to almost 10 in plants now) and can do what he really wants: scrolling on the internet, obtaining random pieces of esoteric Reddit lore (researching). This does mean he is locked up with @Arceus0x in a confined space for extended periods of time. Woe be to the science team.
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Mr. Bambu said:
A lemur self-tamed and immediately was hunted by a cobra for food. Luckily @Armorchompy made it in time to kill the cobra. I'm not sure I actually want a lemur, but perhaps it will fill the hermit crab shaped hole in our hearts?
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CORNI KNEW. HE TOLD ME TO KILL A COBRA BECAUSE HE KNEW THAT IT WOULD THREATEN KING JULIEN IN THE FUTURE
Mr. Bambu said:
This time @Epiccheev cut off his arm. While he was bleeding to death again, @Arceus0x came over and tried to sweet talk him before he blacked out from bloodloss. "Join us... and all this pain can end."
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Why am I always the therapist of the group lmfao
Mr. Bambu said:
I'm very pleased with our lab. With @Arceus0x living in there, and others occasionally helping out when they have time, we're making good progress. We're researching the multi-analyzer because I want as much research speed as possible. Should probably add a little table in there for them to eat at.
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How I'll be looking by the end of the season
952e5046c1f6fb0c373b7fd2112a8fdc.jpg
 
Mr. Bambu said:
@Rakih_Elyan has been teaching people about the occult, anomalies, and the Monolith-- whether they like it or not. It's really funny that he is both joyous and occultist, because everyone is like "**** YEAH! TURKS! WOOHOO!" and he's just like "The shadow that eats the sun is not a threat, but a tool- employed judiciously, it may open the way to yet stranger things..."
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Good, they will soon see the veiled truth...
 
  • @Tllmbrg's lover fell from the sky. I don't even know how, lore-wise, he can have a lover. Perhaps it was his lover before his conversion into a mutant freak supersoldier? It's a ******* highmate, which is utterly worthless to the colony because they cannot do combat at all. She also just kind of sucks, beyond being paralyzed for the foreseeable future. But, she does have a double passion in cooking, and even though she only has a four in it, that could quickly become a seven in short time, meaning we're less reliant on two people to uphold the entirety of the colony... (also, Tllmbrg, this pawn is 17, what the **** man). I've decided to take her in.
  • As Skalpbug was setting fire to the crop fields, @FinePoint called him a toad and started a fight with him. The social fight ended the fire setting spree, gave Skalpbug a catharsis boost, and another loss to John VSBattles. Before he started the fight, Skalpbug managed to set fire to a few hundred rounds of 30x165mm Sabot, which are huge caliber bullets for emplaced autocannons with high armor piercing capabilities. All of those are gone now.
  • With the multi-analyzer done and the ENIAC on (it uses too much power...), we generate about 250-300 research an hour. This means we can get multiple big researches done in a day if we're focused. We have two research benches operating at 173% speed. We don't keep the ENIAC running at night, though, since we lack power production capable of keeping up with it (for now, I'm working on it).
  • King Julian caught the plague. If there is a god, he hates us.
  • @Shadowslash125 is getting a bionic production arm. Of all of our industries of maintenance, I fear cooking the most. There are many mouths to feed, and but one kitchen. This will boost his ability to cook significantly.
  • I've decided to say **** it. @Tllmbrg put the sanguophage prisoner into a regen coma, and @Comiphorous mind-broke him. He is now a subservient pawn whose entire body is regrowing as we speak. I do not care that he is now incapable of skilled labor, he is a soldier who can bleed but never die.
  • @Tllmbrg stood on @Crabwhale's head as he broke his bedside table. What an asshole.
  • Another big Deserter assassination squad has shown up. This time their goal is to simply destroy as much as possible. They will gun for Imperial title holders, though, which now includes @Armorchompy in addition to @Comiphorous. We are scrambling into position but **** that barracks is just so full of drop pods. Combat was quick but ugly. Our lab is more or less destroyed, and @Epiccheev died to three consecutive gunshots to the skull. @Rakih_Elyan was also literally shot in the brain seven times, but we can fix him with @Tllmbrg. @Shadowslash125 and @PsychoWarper got dinged up pretty bad but are stable and alive.
  • While I'm cleaning this mess up, one of them apparently had a resurrection core. This isn't the one that has 1,000,000 lives in it, but rather, just one. They died, then got right back up while @DaReaperMan is cleaning up the lab. They both rush for weapons, because Lanzy is firmly out of ammo. I have her pick up a knife. The risen dude picks up a sniper rifle. Unfortunately the lab is a confined space, and this guy impotently begins slapping Lanzy with his gun while she stabs him in the neck over and over again. By the end of it, fella had 20 knife wounds. This, at least, is a victory.
What comes next is an effort to pull as many bionics from these people as possible, and creating a better barracks since this ******* one is burning down. When the one year mark in-game comes, the reinforcement round will begin; we're nearly there, so @Epiccheev doesn't have to stay dead for long. I now get off because that shit stressed me out.

Arceus0x said:
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I have never felt so understood in my life.
 
And so the courier, who cheated death at the cemetery in Goodsprings, had cheated death once more.
 
Mr. Bambu said:
  • While I'm cleaning this mess up, one of them apparently had a resurrection core. This isn't the one that has 1,000,000 lives in it, but rather, just one. They died, then got right back up while @DaReaperMan is cleaning up the lab. They both rush for weapons, because Lanzy is firmly out of ammo. I have her pick up a knife. The risen dude picks up a sniper rifle. Unfortunately the lab is a confined space, and this guy impotently begins slapping Lanzy with his gun while she stabs him in the neck over and over again. By the end of it, fella had 20 knife wounds. This, at least, is a victory.
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That sort of shit is why I ticked one into melee last moment in creation
 
Mr. Bambu said:
  • As Skalpbug was setting fire to the crop fields, @FinePoint called him a toad and started a fight with him. The social fight ended the fire setting spree, gave Skalpbug a catharsis boost, and another loss to John VSBattles. Before he started the fight, Skalpbug managed to set fire to a few hundred rounds of 30x165mm Sabot, which are huge caliber bullets for emplaced autocannons with high armor piercing capabilities. All of those are gone now.
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Please make him pick a fight with someone who actually has combat skill, I want every bone in this thing's body broken and jutting into soft tissue.
hqdefault.jpg

Mr. Bambu said:
  • King Julian caught the plague. If there is a god, he hates us.
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Mr. Bambu said:
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That's a paddling.
 
Last edited:
@Tllmbrg's lover fell from the sky. I don't even know how, lore-wise, he can have a lover. Perhaps it was his lover before his conversion into a mutant freak supersoldier? It's a ******* highmate, which is utterly worthless to the colony because they cannot do combat at all. She also just kind of sucks, beyond being paralyzed for the foreseeable future. But, she does have a double passion in cooking, and even though she only has a four in it, that could quickly become a seven in short time, meaning we're less reliant on two people to uphold the entirety of the colony... (also, Tllmbrg, this pawn is 17, what the **** man). I've decided to take her in.
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Bruh what is this, why am I doing Diddy ahhh actions?
 
Mr. Bambu said:
Another big Deserter assassination squad has shown up. This time their goal is to simply destroy as much as possible. They will gun for Imperial title holders, though, which now includes @Armorchompy in addition to @Comiphorous. We are scrambling into position but **** that barracks is just so full of drop pods. Combat was quick but ugly. Our lab is more or less destroyed, and @Epiccheev died to three consecutive gunshots to the skull. @Rakih_Elyan was also literally shot in the brain seven times, but we can fix him with @Tllmbrg. @Shadowslash125 and @PsychoWarper got dinged up pretty bad but are stable and alive.
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Moving up in the world. Don't mind the corpses.
 
I hate that my notifs for here stopped working for whatever damn reason. I sure have missed a lot, have i?
Whats my boy gotten into?
 
  • Being diseased wracked @Armorchompy's body; he gained the Ugly trait. I didn't even know that could happen.
  • We're working on a new barracks since the old one was essentially entirely destroyed by that Deserter raid; @PsychoWarper is credited as chief architect. It's made of wood and concrete but it will be nicer, god dammit.
  • The colonial mood is currently being raised chiefly by the psychic harmonizer in @Comiphorous' brain; despite the recent death, he feels great! He has recently killed people and is in pain. The good mood of this murderous lunatic is wafting from his brain to everyone else's, approximately stabilizing the colony. This is what is known as Psychology and it is very healthy and good.
  • Despite the above, quite a few people are in mental states, so @Arceus0x spent the day giving therapy to @FinePoint and @Andytrenom as well as the other VS mod, who were sadly wandering around the ruin of the old barracks. The site of the Death of Cheevler...
  • @Topaz404 had the honor of harvesting our first stock of beer. Long live alcohol. It will see us through this dark night.
  • @Tllmbrg continues to improve as a Psycaster. Nothing too exciting on this front. Next level he'll get the Firing Focus ability, which will reduce the aiming time he needs by 80% for a few minutes, which is awesome.
  • @Shadowslash125 went on a food binge one night and ate about 500 units of rice worth of food. A simple meal is comprised of 10.
  • Julian the Lemur remains alive and well. No worries on that front. I'm sticking this message in what I think will be the middle of the block here, so that if he does get harmed, it will be funny, at least.
  • @PsychoWarper apparently felt he deserved a vacation day. He drank three beers and played darts for about eight hours. I spent this time basically just watching him do this because nothing else was going on. His recreation and mood bar were both full, but he just kept on going.
  • We held a funeral for @Epiccheev (even though I will be reinforcing everyone at the turn of the new year). @Arceus0x hosted it, speaking on loss and hardship. It went well. While the funeral went on, @Crabwhale was gossiping with @Andytrenom about pemmican and cannibalism. I presume they were planning to exhume Cheevler's corpse and eat it. @Shadowslash125 was not invited to the funeral because he had to cook up our food supplies since he ate all of it, the fat bastard.
  • During a raid (which went well, btw; @Topaz404 and @Crabwhale dealt with it chiefly via mortars), @Comiphorous was hit by a barrage of missiles. This didn't kill him, but it did destroy his lung, so I suppose they penetrated his chest and ripped it apart somewhat. He survived, but was at a bloodloss rate of 1793%/day, which is a crazy amount. @Tllmbrg used his newly gained super speed to get to him and did emergency triage on the battlefield. A tapir and cassowary were killed in the crossfire, so. Meal and a show, I guess.
  • I had @DaReaperMan capture one of the downed hostiles, an Yttakin named Raen; they're a great shot (13 double passion), and if they weren't an Yttakin, they'd be a cracked out miner, as well. As it stands I just want more bodies on the field on our side. We'll have to regenerate their leg, of course, and that will come after Comiphorous' lung, but. Still.
  • @Rakih_Elyan was assaulted by a feral parrot. After successfully beating the beast, @Tllmbrg entered an insulting spree against Turks, who punched him in the head, thus ending the insulting spree.
  • Julian is still okay :)
 
Mr. Bambu said:
Despite the above, quite a few people are in mental states, so @Arceus0x spent the day giving therapy to @FinePoint and @Andytrenom as well as the other VS mod, who were sadly wandering around the ruin of the old barracks. The site of the Death of Cheevler...
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me trying to fix the psyche of the colony

Mr. Bambu said:
During a raid (which went well, btw; @Topaz404 and @Crabwhale dealt with it chiefly via mortars), @Comiphorous was hit by a barrage of missiles. This didn't kill him, but it did destroy his lung, so I suppose they penetrated his chest and ripped it apart somewhat. He survived, but was at a bloodloss rate of 1793%/day, which is a crazy amount. @Tllmbrg used his newly gained super speed to get to him and did emergency triage on the battlefield. A tapir and cassowary were killed in the crossfire, so. Meal and a show, I guess.
Click to expand...
chinese-panda.png
 
Mr. Bambu said:
The colonial mood is currently being raised chiefly by the psychic harmonizer in @Comiphorous' brain; despite the recent death, he feels great! He has recently killed people and is in pain. The good mood of this murderous lunatic is wafting from his brain to everyone else's, approximately stabilizing the colony. This is what is known as Psychology and it is very healthy and good.
Click to expand...
Light work no reaction.
 
Mr. Bambu said:
@PsychoWarper apparently felt he deserved a vacation day. He drank three beers and played darts for about eight hours. I spent this time basically just watching him do this because nothing else was going on. His recreation and mood bar were both full, but he just kept on going.
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Drunk darts shall continue until colony moral improves.
 
  • @Armorchompy (the Ugly) quelled a prison break by unfortunately smashing the skull of an escapee into bits. He was using his bare hands, she was using one of our FN FALs she managed to get ahold of.
  • Our science division is nearly back up and running thanks to a lucky find of a handful of gold. @PsychoWarper is in the process of rebuilding our Multi-Analyzer as we speak, which was the biggest loss of the destroyed lab.
  • Moments after @Arceus0x snapped @Shadowslash125 out of a food binge, @FinePoint entered a food binge because the barracks is only "decent". Arceus failed to snap him out of it, so we had to arrest him instead, because we're running out of ******* cooked meals. Cheevler was our backup cook who worked while Titter was doing other stuff. Titter has gone on two food binges in four days. We're running out. STOP EATING ALL THE FOOD. We have so much raw food. So so much. But the cook keeps ******* off to eat everything.
  • We finally... finally, finally, finally were able to make a decent trade (or, in context/lore, get a resupply ship). @Armorchompy is receiving a new helmet that will cover his ******* ugly face, as well as a persona plasmasword because it will make him more psychically sensitive (I have yet to build him a throne so the Star-People will come down and give him the start of his psychic powers). Also bought another monosword for @Rakih_Elyan. Other than this, not much special was bought; a couple books, some components, etc. In return we gave them a shitload of drugs we've been looting off the Deserters (luciferum, yayo, the usual stuff), and about 2500 units of wood.
  • @PsychoWarper has produced the first Masterwork of the colony... it's a post-modernist dining chair. Not so exciting, but hey! Masterwork! It's done in a cel-shaded style; given who made it, I choose to think of this as a nod to Borderlands. Why would Frogman make a Borderlands-themed chair in our rec room for a chess table? Who knows.
  • We have added gambling tables to the rec hall. @Topaz404 hung out at them basically the second they were done and was in there for a few hours so I assume it went poorly. None of you have a wage so who knows what is even being gambled. Perhaps ammunition.
  • @Andytrenom proposed marriage to @Arceus0x in the most romantic way available, for downtime in a warzone: while she was machining more explosive shells for our mortars. He said yes. It's gonna be super ****** up when a high-caliber round decimates one of their brains. These helmets won't protect them from everything, and machine gun fire cares little for the power of love. Courier immediately went to go tell his best friend about the news (his best friend is King Julian).
  • Before researching, @Crabwhale fixed up the lab a bit. There's still metal slag from Deserter drop pods everywhere, but the place is respectable again otherwise. We now have Fabrication, so our next step is working on Mass Drivers; once we have that technology, we can create what will be our standard firearm from here on out, the Gauss Rifle. Railguns work well enough against high armor enemies, and this is chiefly who we're fighting these days.
  • I don't think I've mentioned it but ever since we all got Deserter armor, heat strokes are essentially a thing of the past. It's awesome.
  • This menu stresses me out.
  • Since we have @Tllmbrg to regenerate bodies (most recently @Rakih_Elyan, who had suffered brain damage from a few headshots awhile back), bionics can be given out not as a replacement, but as an upgrade. Ergo, I will now dole out a bunch of bionics. @Armorchompy is getting a Psychic Attuner, Turks is getting an advanced bionic leg. Since our hospital is pretty tiny (for now, I intend to change this), and one bed is still taken up by Bea, Gnawer's off-world girlfriend whom the Empire shipped to the battlefield to be rid of her, we'll do the rest later. For now I'm thinking a bionic arm for @PsychoWarper, a Psychic Reader for @Arceus0x, a Psychic Harmonizer for our mindbroken Sanguophage, and a Circadian Assistant for @Topaz404. Subject to change (except that Sanguophage bit, that just seems so obscenely powerful).
  • The way is lit, the path is clear; we require only the strength to follow it: It is now officially one year past the start date of the colony. We have not successfully attacked an enemy base yet, though we have progressed to mortars and erected some that can land shots on the nearest Colonization base. We have improved our personal weapons and armor tremendously, and established a stable base. It is now time to receive Imperial Reinforcements-- permanent on-site soldiers to join Lord Comiphor's personal detachment. @Epiccheev @Lawiegg @Da3ggman (as well as three others) can now submit another character if they would like, to go beyond their prior selves, who were cut down before their time. The most tumultuous time of the save is over, I believe (though, there will still be plenty of time to die).
 
Mr. Bambu said:
@PsychoWarper has produced the first Masterwork of the colony... it's a post-modernist dining chair. Not so exciting, but hey! Masterwork! It's done in a cel-shaded style; given who made it, I choose to think of this as a nod to Borderlands. Why would Frogman make a Borderlands-themed chair in our rec room for a chess table? Who knows.
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Thought it would really bring the room together
Mr. Bambu said:
For now I'm thinking a bionic arm for @PsychoWarper
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Very nice, this will make it much easier to play darts for 8 hours while drunk.
 
Mr. Bambu said:
  • @Epiccheev @Lawiegg @Da3ggman (as well as three others) can now submit another character if they would like, to go beyond their prior selves, who were cut down before their time. The most tumultuous time of the save is over, I believe (though, there will still be plenty of time to die).
Click to expand...
You want good ol' Dig Dug, or something new?
 
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