Be My Rimworld Pawns (Again): Season 4.5

[Arceus0x]

While dealing with the aftermath, @Arceus0x was tending to the wounded (one of two pawns left unwounded in the combat, the other being @Andytrenom) when one of the Deserters, who was already naked, got back up, picked up an energy sniper rifle, aimed it point blank at his head... only for Courier to kick him in the nuts and go back to what he was doing, which was escorting @Shadowslash125 to bed to heal him.

Benny can never get me again

 

[Crabwhale]

• Open applications to name the fella, who is our mascot now.

I hereby vote for the name Herman Crabb.

• Cancel that on the crab. We were attacked by Imperial Deserters trying to assassinate @Comiphorous while he was incapacitated, resulting in the crab being beaten to death by one of them.

• I began having @Crabwhale and @Shadowslash125 start stripping the surviving Deserters; their gear melts into acid when they die

Man this save is ******* evil.

 

[Mr. Bambu]

• @Tllmbrg ****** up an operation to remove a venom talon from one of our last captive's hand. Instead, he cut off the entire hand and destroyed the bionic.
• @Arceus0x and @Andytrenom are holding hands and shit. Courier scored a lover by "boasting about his own loyalty". One can only assume he was referring to his undying loyalty to the Imperium, which will surely make any woman swoon.
• Decided to give @DaReaperMan our charge sniper rifle, and pass the normal rifle on to @Crabwhale now that he is ambulatory again.
• With these new armors, basically all of us are able to endure the 40-50C average temperature without getting heatstroke. The last outlier here is @Armorchompy, whose tolerance for heat is about 8C lower than the next lowest individual; he's just built for cold environments. This is solved with the introduction of a thermoregulator unit installed in his chest cavity. He can now exist in temperatures up to almost 70C without issue, and down to -70C, interestingly enough.
• The other bionic given out is a servo arm to assist with crafting for @Andytrenom; this should help her produce our reinforced barrels faster, when she's back on her feet.
• @DaReaperMan and @Tllmbrg had a social fight out in the crop fields. @Shadowslash125 watched, and when they were done, compared Gnawer to a pumpkin; this is allegedly an insult.
• Only one pawn has a positive opinion (by any value) of @FinePoint; it is amazingly @Crabwhale, who has an entire +7 with them. This isn't even considered friendly. John VSBattles has a +82 with Scooper, on the flipside.
• Solely for the purposes of helping him with his Body Modder trait, we're doing one last surgery for now to give @Crabwhale a piloting assistant, which will allow him to interface with vehicle systems (so far, that's just our helicopter; later, it might make him a good tank operator)
• We have a mission from the Imperium to deal with two large groups of pirates; in return, we can make one of you a Psycaster. The horrible news here is that of the surviving pawns, @FinePoint is the only especially psychically sensitive one; this means he would be the best psycaster. The counterpoint is, of course, that he cannot make use of any combat psycasts, which are the most impactful currently, and he also can't use any royal titles in order to trade, as he is incapable of social tasks, the ******. So, instead, I'm gonna give it to @Armorchompy, solely because he is kind and unlikely to **** us if he gets it.
• A really big raid showed up again (possibly the first one of the above quest). They came with mechs, at least one of whom is a planet-known master of combat. That said, they planned to besiege us, so @DaReaperMan is joining some of those troopers we got from the Imperium, and sniping at them from afar with his charge sniper, while those troopers use our long range anti-tank cannons. We're ruining their lives, as one of the high explosive shells struck their mortar shells, so now they seem confused. They retreated after about half of them succumbed from explosive shots or tox gas poisoning (from their own chemicals being released on them), but said planetary-master combatant survived with no damage in her mech. Tatyana Holmes, field commander of the Blight Gang, shall be added to the archives, and we may see her again... Also. Among those downed was a Buzzer with vaguely similar inclinations to @FinePoint. Ergo, I have decided that even though I hate him, this is canonically another VSBattles fellow: one of John's former comrades and staff members whom he was separated from (deep John VSBattles lore). I had @Comiphorous sprint at mach 7 to him to stabilize his wounds; he made it just before the miserable bug was going to die. I'm not certain it's a good thing we've saved him, but I will endeavor to recruit him. So, John, you are hereby reunited with Skalpbug Razox.
• @Shadowslash125 meticulously stepped over the writhing bodies of the dead and dying to pilfer a few cans of meat they brought with them. Gotta have those Fine Meals.

 

[Shadowslash125]

@Shadowslash125 meticulously stepped over the writhing bodies of the dead and dying to pilfer a few cans of meat they brought with them. Gotta have those Fine Meals.

That, ladies and gentlemen, is called gourmandmaxxing.

 

[Arceus0x]

@Arceus0x and @Andytrenom are holding hands and shit. Courier scored a lover by "boasting about his own loyalty". One can only assume he was referring to his undying loyalty to the Imperium, which will surely make any woman swoon.

So anytime my Pawn isn't literally Sundowner it has rizz. Huh.

Anyway, who said Charisma is useless?

 

[FinePoint]

We have a mission from the Imperium to deal with two large groups of pirates; in return, we can make one of you a Psycaster. The horrible news here is that of the surviving pawns, @FinePoint is the only especially psychically sensitive one; this means he would be the best psycaster. The counterpoint is, of course, that he cannot make use of any combat psycasts, which are the most impactful currently, and he also can't use any royal titles in order to trade, as he is incapable of social tasks, the ******. So, instead, I'm gonna give it to @Armorchompy, solely because he is kind and unlikely to **** us if he gets it.

Not questioning the decision, more of a fun fact, but nonviolent pawns can still use quite a lot of 'indirect' combat and support psycasts, a reason people often use highmates for combat. Of note are all the psycasts that drive the enemies insane.

Also. Among those downed was a Buzzer with vaguely similar inclinations to @FinePoint. Ergo, I have decided that even though I hate him, this is canonically another VSBattles fellow: one of John's former comrades and staff members whom he was separated from (deep John VSBattles lore). I had

LET'S GOOOOOOOO!

 

[Epiccheev]

Not questioning the decision, more of a fun fact, but nonviolent pawns can still use quite a lot of 'indirect' combat and support psycasts, a reason people often use highmates for combat. Of note are all the psycasts that drive the enemies insane.

Or dropping many banana peels

 

[Armorchompy]

We have a mission from the Imperium to deal with two large groups of pirates; in return, we can make one of you a Psycaster. The horrible news here is that of the surviving pawns, @FinePoint is the only especially psychically sensitive one; this means he would be the best psycaster. The counterpoint is, of course, that he cannot make use of any combat psycasts, which are the most impactful currently, and he also can't use any royal titles in order to trade, as he is incapable of social tasks, the ******. So, instead, I'm gonna give it to @Armorchompy, solely because he is kind and unlikely to **** us if he gets it.

You should give me extremely dangerous powers, I can be trusted.

 

[DaReaperMan]

• Decided to give @DaReaperMan our charge sniper rifle, and pass the normal rifle on to @Crabwhale now that he is ambulatory again.

How to aim and fire a rifle that probably weighs more than you do: Be built different.

• 
  
• @DaReaperMan and @Tllmbrg had a social fight out in the crop fields. @Shadowslash125 watched, and when they were done, compared Gnawer to a pumpkin; this is allegedly an insult.

The first of many... I'm surprised the Teetolar trait hasn't caused more of these lmfao. Like is it not as bad of a trait as I thought? lmfao

• We have a mission from the Imperium to deal with two large groups of pirates; in return, we can make one of you a Psycaster. The horrible news here is that of the surviving pawns, @FinePoint is the only especially psychically sensitive one; this means he would be the best psycaster. The counterpoint is, of course, that he cannot make use of any combat psycasts, which are the most impactful currently, and he also can't use any royal titles in order to trade, as he is incapable of social tasks, the ******. So, instead, I'm gonna give it to @Armorchompy, solely because he is kind and unlikely to **** us if he gets it.

I don't think many would appreciate being psychically ******. Others are weirdos.

• A really big raid showed up again (possibly the first one of the above quest). They came with mechs, at least one of whom is a planet-known master of combat. That said, they planned to besiege us, so @DaReaperMan is joining some of those troopers we got from the Imperium, and sniping at them from afar with his charge sniper, while those troopers use our long range anti-tank cannons. We're ruining their lives, as one of the high explosive shells struck their mortar shells, so now they seem confused. They retreated after about half of them succumbed from explosive shots or tox gas poisoning (from their own chemicals being released on them), but said planetary-master combatant survived with no damage in her mech. Tatyana Holmes, field commander of the Blight Gang, shall be added to the archives, and we may see her again...

I'm surprised the Grimgor Ironhide tactics weren't used. "Click on Comi, click on someone you want to not be in this mortal coil anymore, rinse repeat" lmfao I know that's tactically unsound as hell, but still

• Also. Among those downed was a Buzzer with vaguely similar inclinations to @FinePoint. Ergo, I have decided that even though I hate him, this is canonically another VSBattles fellow: one of John's former comrades and staff members whom he was separated from (deep John VSBattles lore). I had @Comiphorous sprint at mach 7 to him to stabilize his wounds; he made it just before the miserable bug was going to die. I'm not certain it's a good thing we've saved him, but I will endeavor to recruit him. So, John, you are hereby reunited with Skalpbug Razox.

I'd grab the female agent version of this quote but I don't have access to it RN lmfao


Now I must get hard at work... isolating every negative social trait while also maximizing digging skill for maximum chance to piss off the entire colony but still being too useful to just shoot.

 

[Crabwhale]

• Only one pawn has a positive opinion (by any value) of @FinePoint; it is amazingly @Crabwhale, who has an entire +7 with them. This isn't even considered friendly. John VSBattles has a +82 with Scooper, on the flipside.

Whether in real life or in a simulacrum of it, I am cursed to wrangle inconceivably foul members of society.

 

[DaReaperMan]

I have submitted my recommendation into the pool. The most unpleasant Dirtmole alive for the reinforcement round. And if you have to pick one to drop for Undergrounder, drop either Misogynist or Misandrist based on which one has less colonists of that gender

 

[Mr. Bambu]

I have submitted my recommendation into the pool. The most unpleasant Dirtmole alive for the reinforcement round. And if you have to pick one to drop for Undergrounder, drop either Misogynist or Misandrist based on which one has less colonists of that gender

I have no idea why you're submitting a second character, for the record, but it is really funny to see a 2 here lol

 

[DaReaperMan]

I have no idea why you're submitting a second character, for the record, but it is really funny to see a 2 here lol

I dunno I just wanted to have someone in the reinforcement pool that would cause just as many problems as they help

 

[Mr. Bambu]

We had a big raid occur. Two waves of high end pirates. Most of our Troopers were downed, but they suck anyways. @Comiphorous bravely charged the enemy but was downed by sustained fire from a mechanized artillery force cross-firing from multiple sides. @Andytrenom and @PsychoWarper manned our cannons while @DaReaperMan went for precision sniping. We managed to force them to retreat, but not before they downed @Epiccheev, who I had rush in to support Frogman when he got into melee with a mech. Cheev succeeded, but was shot by another unit; the enemy was already retreating at this time, but someone stole his ******* monosword. We had three casualties, looks like a fourth is probably going to happen at time of writing. @Crabwhale managed to hold off some mechs on his own, as I accidentally placed him in an ideal spot to just trade shots with four of them and even down one through sheer luck. Even charge rifles are broadly incapable of killing most mechs, this was just obscenely good luck on his behalf to strike him with several good headshots that caused him to bleed out inside his armor. I had @Shadowslash125 manning a turret bunker to give suppressing fire, @Armorchompy waiting behind a door to hit anyone who came through with a stick (that is to say, a machete), and @Topaz404 bunkered down in a small tunnel that had a vantage on two fronts of the attack. A rocket collapsed part of our barracks but it is all alright.

This was pretty much all of my time today, so. Is what it is. Worth noting that the game crashed on me and prevented us from getting the advanced components we will need for later game progression via an orbital exotic goods trader. **** my chungus life...

 

[DaReaperMan]

I hope the sniping still works in future lmfao, since I sorta designed Lanzy to be handled like a scalpel rather than a sledgehammer.

 

[Epiccheev]

but someone stole his ******* monosword.

MY pawn seeing them leave like:

Art by kkamiiz on Twitter

 

[Comiphorous]

Most of our Troopers were downed, but they suck anyways. @Comiphorous bravely charged the enemy but was downed by sustained fire from a mechanized artillery force cross-firing from multiple sides.

I keep getting packed up a little TOO easily... Clearly i've been weakened over the decades.

 

[PsychoWarper]

Cancel that on the crab. We were attacked by Imperial Deserters trying to assassinate @Comiphorous while he was incapacitated, resulting in the crab being beaten to death by one of them.

They where to good for this world ;-;

 

[Crabwhale]

I keep getting packed up a little TOO easily... Clearly i've been weakened over the decades.

You're out of your prime, gramps.

 

[Lawiegg]

I blame my death on JohnvsBattles

 

[Lawiegg]

I was very tired man.

Bro there is time and place for that

 

[Epiccheev]

Can are we do have win

 

[Mr. Bambu]

• Learned @Comiphorous actually lost an eye fighting those mechs. A 40mm cannon shot went directly through his skull. He lived! But he lost an eye. We have replaced it with an advanced bionic eye pulled from one of the Imperial Deserters who attempted to assassinate him while he was catatonic; a fitting and poetic thing, I think.
• I mentioned before one of our troopers was probably going to die. I said this because his entire body was burned, and infected severely. He has like unironically twelve infections. However, I had @Tllmbrg slap him with the word of immunity, and now it seems he might pull through okay, even without any medicine (because why would I waste medicine on his ass?) We did have to cut an infected toe off of another trooper, as she was definitely going to succumb to it, and we can't let them die from a ******* toe infection. @Crabwhale saved her life.
• We got a quest to dispose of wastepacks for the local militias. There's a lot of them, but this is secretly awesome. @FinePoint and his VSBattles mod friend both eat wastepacks! This is further handy because the reward is (among other things) the two advanced components we needed. So we're in business on that end.
• Another raid from Colonization forces and their mechanoid units. This one went alright, even though they drop podded directly into the citadel; they did kill two more of those Troopers, but I'm reasonably sure those guys are bugged and should have left by now, so they're meat shields as far as I'm concerned. @Andytrenom went down whilst firing from our bunker, but otherwise no major injuries were suffered by actual colonists. We did finally get the reward for doing their quest; @Armorchompy is now an Acolyte of the Imperium. When we can do the ceremony, he'll be given Psycaster powers.
• @Topaz404 became depressed when he began operating our Pyrolysis Plant, which (very slowly) converts biomass into fuel. He became depressed because this involved dumping the corpses of our enemies unceremoniously into the chute to be refined into gasoline. Soylent Fuel... is made of... pawns!
• @Shadowslash125 had the sheer ******* nerve to enter a drug binge, then consume basically every piece of non-medicine drugs we had, then complain about ******* exhaustion once he snapped out of it.
• The settings for Empire have made outposts very, very difficult to maintain. Lorewise, this represents supply and logistics difficulties in maintaining outward camps of soldiers. It will make it difficult for us to rely on them, and they won't return on investment in a long time. We've only just now upgraded our first outpost. It might be a full year before we do so again, or create a second one. It'll be a really long time before we can summon the legion to support us.

I haven't been doing much Rimworld lately, work and other life stuff has prevented it; posting this to let it be known that I remain alive.

 

[Arceus0x]

• Learned @Comiphorous actually lost an eye fighting those mechs. A 40mm cannon shot went directly through his skull. He lived! But he lost an eye. We have replaced it with an advanced bionic eye pulled from one of the Imperial Deserters who attempted to assassinate him while he was catatonic; a fitting and poetic thing, I think.
• I mentioned before one of our troopers was probably going to die. I said this because his entire body was burned, and infected severely. He has like unironically twelve infections. However, I had @Tllmbrg slap him with the word of immunity, and now it seems he might pull through okay, even without any medicine (because why would I waste medicine on his ass?) We did have to cut an infected toe off of another trooper, as she was definitely going to succumb to it, and we can't let them die from a ******* toe infection. @Crabwhale saved her life.
• We got a quest to dispose of wastepacks for the local militias. There's a lot of them, but this is secretly awesome. @FinePoint and his VSBattles mod friend both eat wastepacks! This is further handy because the reward is (among other things) the two advanced components we needed. So we're in business on that end.
• Another raid from Colonization forces and their mechanoid units. This one went alright, even though they drop podded directly into the citadel; they did kill two more of those Troopers, but I'm reasonably sure those guys are bugged and should have left by now, so they're meat shields as far as I'm concerned. @Andytrenom went down whilst firing from our bunker, but otherwise no major injuries were suffered by actual colonists. We did finally get the reward for doing their quest; @Armorchompy is now an Acolyte of the Imperium. When we can do the ceremony, he'll be given Psycaster powers.
• @Topaz404 became depressed when he began operating our Pyrolysis Plant, which (very slowly) converts biomass into fuel. He became depressed because this involved dumping the corpses of our enemies unceremoniously into the chute to be refined into gasoline. Soylent Fuel... is made of... pawns!
• @Shadowslash125 had the sheer ******* nerve to enter a drug binge, then consume basically every piece of non-medicine drugs we had, then complain about ******* exhaustion once he snapped out of it.
• The settings for Empire have made outposts very, very difficult to maintain. Lorewise, this represents supply and logistics difficulties in maintaining outward camps of soldiers. It will make it difficult for us to rely on them, and they won't return on investment in a long time. We've only just now upgraded our first outpost. It might be a full year before we do so again, or create a second one. It'll be a really long time before we can summon the legion to support us.

I haven't been doing much Rimworld lately, work and other life stuff has prevented it; posting this to let it be known that I remain alive.

I presume I'm glued to the research bench again?

 

[FinePoint]

We got a quest to dispose of wastepacks for the local militias. There's a lot of them, but this is secretly awesome. @FinePoint and his VSBattles mod friend both eat wastepacks! This is further handy because the reward is (among other things) the two advanced components we needed. So we're in business on that end.

MMMmmMMMmMmmm toxic slop.

 

[Mr. Bambu]

I presume I'm glued to the research bench again?

...if it means anything at all, one of the story events that I scratched my head over was literally just you and @Andytrenom "going for a walk". It was a date, which I only knew because after you guys stopped doing that it said "The date has ended."

But yes. Mostly research. I'm working on a new lab for you, but we are bereft of steel. I'm working on it.

 

[Arceus0x]

...if it means anything at all, one of the story events that I scratched my head over was literally just you and @Andytrenom "going for a walk". It was a date, which I only knew because after you guys stopped doing that it said "The date has ended."

But yes. Mostly research. I'm working on a new lab for you, but we are bereft of steel. I'm working on it.

I expected the Courier to do fallout things but instead he's been a therapist and uh

 

[PsychoWarper]

Crab the Saviour… first time of anything huh

 

[Mr. Bambu]

• We start with @Topaz404 becoming chronically depressed; his life isn't great. Sure, a lot of his enemies have died recently, but he must now shovel their corpses into our chemfuel plant, which is just unpleasant. He also was rebuffed by @Andytrenom. He is contemplating death.
• @Shadowslash125 goes to sleep with a concussion grenade under his pillow. I choose to believe this is a surprise meant for the tooth fairy. He'll catch the devil one of these nights, surely...
• This is our second high psychic drone for men recently. The enemy is hacking the archotech beacons of this world in order to drive the Imperial legions mad...
• @FinePoint finally got his buddy recruited, and then began having horrific hallucinations due to the psychic drone, and began to flee from everyone else. He backed himself into a supply closet and bunkered down within until the hallucinations stopped. While he muttered to himself about the "harsh light of despair", @PsychoWarper chatted with him about sweating until John freaked out and deposited himself in our corpse dumping zone. Also. Within seconds of being recruited, the other VSMod, Skalpbug, began a fire starting spree. Wonderful start.
• cat-fight, cat-fight... cat-fight cat-fight... Mewgenics made an appearance. @Andytrenom started bare knuckle boxing @DaReaperMan near our anti-tank cannons. Nothing really happened in said fight, Paige punched Lanzy in the neck, but both are wearing spacer-tech armor so it didn't do anything; the fight them instantly ended.
• John VSBattles stopped hallucinating when Lanzy started another social fight with him and smashed his head against the chess table.
• John VSBattles is just getting his ass beat because within 24 in game hours of his fight with Lanzy he fought both @Armorchompy and @PsychoWarper, the latter of whom was literally just chilling in his bed until John punched him. He's lost every fight so far.
• How I wish I clipped things. I positioned @Comiphorous around a corner like a ******* looney tunes character, ready to swing on the incredibly powerful armored gods approaching, and he just swatted down the wave of them one by one was they rounded the corner. It was awesome. There are 9 corpses of High 8-Cs right here. Every single one got speed-blitzed. He then killskipped the other side. Comiphorous' armor isn't exactly up for taking their attacks, but it's never a problem as long as he just kills them first! This fight, I believe @Arceus0x killed a guy with artillery, @DaReaperMan downed one with several sniper shots, and @Comiphorous killed 18 in two rapid fire attacks. I ******* love Warlords. I had @Rakih_Elyan in position to also fist fight them, and I think he even could have won against a ranged Junker, but he freaked out and started punching the wall instead.
• @Tllmbrg gained another psycaster level, speaking of. He begins on the Warlord tree. This is chiefly because he has begun regenerating @Crabwhale's eyeball, which was scarred in combat a few raids ago.
• @Topaz404 got into a sparring match with @Comiphorous while @Epiccheev was attempting to butcher a panther; he left because he was annoyed, and only came back to butcher the panther when they were done ******* around.
• I've only just noticed that @DaReaperMan lost her jaw to a hollow point round a couple raids ago. I will have to regenerate her in the near future. We love regen comas, we are addicted to them.
• We now have a stash of like 7000 rounds of .338 bullets, so I'm probably going to work on some .338 weapon upgrades for us. The FALs are not keeping up with the spacer tech enemies we must face. The railguns and charge weapons are nice but the supplies won't last, so. Contingency plans.
• As a final sign to get off, @Armorchompy beat the shit out of Skalpbug, the other VS Mod. Jumped him while the poor ****** was waking up.

It occurs to me that this thread is essentially Tomogatchi Life for War Criminals. Very entertaining.

 

[DaReaperMan]

• cat-fight, cat-fight... cat-fight cat-fight... Mewgenics made an appearance. @Andytrenom started bare knuckle boxing @DaReaperMan near our anti-tank cannons. Nothing really happened in said fight, Paige punched Lanzy in the neck, but both are wearing spacer-tech armor so it didn't do anything; the fight them instantly ended.

Do not touch drops of alcohol. Or start one too many fights before the one breaking 90% of them up snaps and tries to beat you. And then realize that they can't even harm eachother cause their armor is too good

• John VSBattles stopped hallucinating when Lanzy started another social fight with him and smashed his head against the chess table.
• John VSBattles is just getting his ass beat because within 24 in game hours of his fight with Lanzy he fought both @Armorchompy and @PsychoWarper, the latter of whom was literally just chilling in his bed until John punched him. He's lost every fight so far.

How the **** did he get his ass beat by someone who literally takes 15% more damage and is hardspecced as a ranged combatant lmfao

• @DaReaperMan downed one with several sniper shots

Sometimes you just need a little more gun

• I've only just noticed that @DaReaperMan lost her jaw to a hollow point round a couple raids ago. I will have to regenerate her in the near future. We love regen comas, we are addicted to them.

Iron Willed really coming in clutch making you not even realize there's injuries lmfao. It was weird being called "her" until I remembered that you use pings in place of names sometimes--

It occurs to me that this thread is essentially Tomogatchi Life for War Criminals. Very entertaining.

Aw, I should have made a pyromaniac so you had to deal with more war crimes

 

[Arceus0x]

@FinePoint finally got his buddy recruited, and then began having horrific hallucinations due to the psychic drone, and began to flee from everyone else. He backed himself into a supply closet and bunkered down within until the hallucinations stopped. While he muttered to himself about the "harsh light of despair"

A bug talking about the harsh light of despair???

I believe @Arceus0x killed a guy with artillery

 

[Epiccheev]

How I wish I clipped things. I positioned @Comiphorous around a corner like a ******* looney tunes character, ready to swing on the incredibly powerful armored gods approaching, and he just swatted down the wave of them one by one was they rounded the corner. It was awesome. There are 9 corpses of High 8-Cs right here. Every single one got speed-blitzed.

How bro was moving this fight:

 

[DaReaperMan]

I'm waiting for this to start being the reality

 

[Arceus0x]

I'm waiting for this to start being the reality

 

[DaReaperMan]

There's already one ******* couple who got together in an active war zone.

 

[Arceus0x]

There's already one ******* couple who got together in an active war zone.

If you're talking about Courier and Andy's character, they're basically not fighting 90% of the time so...

 

[Crabwhale]

• John VSBattles stopped hallucinating when Lanzy started another social fight with him and smashed his head against the chess table.
• John VSBattles is just getting his ass beat because within 24 in game hours of his fight with Lanzy he fought both @Armorchompy and @PsychoWarper, the latter of whom was literally just chilling in his bed until John punched him. He's lost every fight so far.

Immediate commemoration and status as Heroes of the Imperium is due now, I believe.

 

[PsychoWarper]

How I wish I clipped things. I positioned @Comiphorous around a corner like a ******* looney tunes character, ready to swing on the incredibly powerful armored gods approaching, and he just swatted down the wave of them one by one was they rounded the corner. It was awesome. There are 9 corpses of High 8-Cs right here. Every single one got speed-blitzed. He then killskipped the other side. Comiphorous' armor isn't exactly up for taking their attacks, but it's never a problem as long as he just kills them first!

Genuinely one of the funniest feats ive seen in one of these.

• John VSBattles is just getting his ass beat because within 24 in game hours of his fight with Lanzy he fought both @Armorchompy and @PsychoWarper, the latter of whom was literally just chilling in his bed until John punched him. He's lost every fight so far
• John VSBattles is just getting his ass beat because within 24 in game hours of his fight with Lanzy he fought both @Armorchompy and @PsychoWarper, the latter of whom was literally just chilling in his bed until John punched him. He's lost every fight so far.

Lore accurate VSBW user, picking all the fights and getting his ass beat lmao

 

[Mr. Bambu]

• Perhaps all of this recent fighting was @FinePoint's way of asking for a new life. I have not given it to him, but he has finished his plantwork recently (he's up to almost 10 in plants now) and can do what he really wants: scrolling on the internet, obtaining random pieces of esoteric Reddit lore (researching). This does mean he is locked up with @Arceus0x in a confined space for extended periods of time. Woe be to the science team.
• @Tllmbrg has enacted a binge party. I decided to allow it for morale, but unfortunately, about an hour later the elephants on the map went mad with rage, so I had to draft @PsychoWarper to man a turret bunker, and they just didn't like that at all. So the party was called off.
• A lemur self-tamed and immediately was hunted by a cobra for food. Luckily @Armorchompy made it in time to kill the cobra. I'm not sure I actually want a lemur, but perhaps it will fill the hermit crab shaped hole in our hearts?
• More colonization force mechanoids attacked. Most of them got dealt with by our firing line, but when there was only one left, I had @Epiccheev, @Armorchompy and @Rakih_Elyan jump it in a back alley to train melee. Their weapons were largely unable to penetrate the thing's armor (these really are just unfair enemies to be fighting in general...) so only once every fifty hits did the thing actually take damage. But it also wasn't a melee fighter, it could not really harm them at all, so they just used it as a practice dummy until Turks stabbed it with his machete and killed it. Each of them gained a full level and then some just kicking this guy's ass.
• Immediately after leaving the melee fight with the robot, @Epiccheev picked a fight with @PsychoWarper, who had just that instant gotten malaria. He sensed sickness in his fellow man and moved to amputate before it spread. Unfortunately the disease was in his whole body, so the only way to amputate was to cut him to death. This did not occur, I assure you, but it was humorous timing.
• While he was dying of malaria, @Tllmbrg attempted to seduce @PsychoWarper by talking about the meaning of life. Frogman didn't give a shit and left.
• @Rakih_Elyan has been teaching people about the occult, anomalies, and the Monolith-- whether they like it or not. It's really funny that he is both joyous and occultist, because everyone is like "**** YEAH! TURKS! WOOHOO!" and he's just like "The shadow that eats the sun is not a threat, but a tool- employed judiciously, it may open the way to yet stranger things..."
• We have our mortars online, and have reclaimed explosive materials from our enemy's gear to produce some shells. We're starved for components currently, so our spotting mechanism isn't done, but when it is, we will have a way to just absolutely destroy enemies.
• Our sanguophage prisoner is just being tortured, really. He keeps "dying" and thus entering a death coma, only to get up, be really pissed off, try to escape, just to get his shit kicked in again. This time @Epiccheev cut off his arm. While he was bleeding to death again, @Arceus0x came over and tried to sweet talk him before he blacked out from bloodloss. "Join us... and all this pain can end."
• @Shadowslash125 has begun producing alcohol. Merriment is now enshrined as military protocol, because being on this godforsaken rock is driving all of you insane. Get crunked, soldier; that's an order.
• A jaguar attempted to hunt @Armorchompy, who promptly flicked it in the nose, killing it instantly.
• Kinda forgot about a bunch of those wastepacks that I had @FinePoint and his homie eat, so part of our map is polluted now. My bad y'all.
• I'm very pleased with our lab. With @Arceus0x living in there, and others occasionally helping out when they have time, we're making good progress. We're researching the multi-analyzer because I want as much research speed as possible. Should probably add a little table in there for them to eat at.
• @Shadowslash125 went out swimming in a rainstorm, then became depressed because he was wet.

Posting now because the lemur is still alive. QUICKLY NAME HIM BEFORE TRAGEDY STRIKES.

 

[Shadowslash125]

Posting now because the lemur is still alive. QUICKLY NAME HIM BEFORE TRAGEDY STRIKES.

ALL HAIL KING JULIEN