Battle of the 9-A Glass Cannons (Mr. Burns vs Morphman)

[Flashlight237]

Okay, so we have another 9-A glass cannon now... MORPHMAN! Mr. Burns is a 9-A glass cannon despite being known to be weak, with his Loch Ness Monster feat being seen as an outlier by his standards specifically. Let's see how these two go up against each other.

I mean Mr. Burns is the more intelligent of the two clearly. Mr. Burns runs a successful nuclear power plant, and really, is Mr. Burns really the bad guy for making use of the cleanest energy source out there? At the very least he would understand the difficulties of running a nuclear power plant.

Morphman... While he did infiltrate a nuclear weapons laboratory, if you've seen Rerez's video on the game...:


Chances are you'd think Morphman is every bit as dumb as Lindsay from Total Drama, even though the game's very portrayal of Morphman's intelligence is too finicky for me to accurately give him an intelligence rating in his article. For example, I don't think you're supposed to unlatch your parachute and speak fluent Q*Bert when skydiving.

Durability-wise, Mr. Burns when portrayed as frail had survived being shoved by an ant at best, but he can somehow use his gun still. Morphman died by GETTING MUGGED BY BATS, and bats are really a load of nothing without diseases like rabies and COVID-19.

Power-wise, Mr. Burns would have the advantage over Morphman without his morphs (636 kJ vs 311 kJ), yet Morphman would have the advantage over Mr. Burns with his morphs. Then again, some dumb@$$ thought 0.66 tons of TNT is Building Level+, like bro, Building Level+ starts at 1.125 tons. It's honestly weird.

For this match, here's how it would work.:

1. Fight takes place in Mr. Burns' Office
2. Morphman starts off unmorphed. Mr. Burns has his pistol and his rifle (can anyone please explain why Mr. Burns doesn't have his HOUNDS?). Morphman can still use his morphs at any time, of course.
3. Speed is equalized.

Here are their profiles:

Mr. Burns' Profile

Morphman's Profile

Who takes this?

Excellent..!: 3 (Imaginym, HonestlyBored24, MaidRips)
I'm aN eAGlE!!1!11!: 0
Inconclusive: 0

 

[Imaginym]

Does Morphman lead with his laser? If not, Mr. Burns shoots, does Morphman dodge & laser?

 

[Flashlight237]

Does Morphman lead with his laser? If not, Mr. Burns shoots, does Morphman dodge & laser?

In-character? Sometimes, he would just go for the laser, other times he would waste his time talking before attacking or dodging (as noted in the "Is that the goober who shot at me?" scene in the game). Sometimes, he would just try sampling whatever thing he came across to make a new morph. Honestly, this is one of those bad games where characters don't characterize.

 

[Flashlight237]

Bump

 

[Flashlight237]

Bump

 

[Imaginym]

If Mr. Burns is hostile, he shoots, I presume & if Morphman is dumb enough to talk or such, rather than morphing, attacking or dodging, I'd give it to Mr. Burns.
(Assuming Morphman isn't likely to morph into anything relevant.)

 

[Flashlight237]

If Mr. Burns is hostile, he shoots, I presume & if Morphman is dumb enough to talk or such, rather than morphing, attacking or dodging, I'd give it to Mr. Burns.
(Assuming Morphman isn't likely to morph into anything relevant.)

Yeah, I was thinking Mr. Burns would win in most scenarios here.

 

[Flashlight237]

Bump

 

[HonestlyBored24]

Morphman is kinda stupid, so I’m voting Burns FRA.

 

[Flashlight237]

That's 2 for Mr. Burns.

 

[Flashlight237]

Bump

 

[Flashlight237]

Bump

 

[DimeUhDozen]

Mr. Burns FRA

 

[Flashlight237]

Okay, so Morphman got some traction. May as well give this a bump.