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(Grace) Do the Krump: Chelshia vs. Marge Simpson

Jackythejack

They/Them
20,008
1,717
Yeah I'm doing this because of the Krump meme please don't judge me I'm just hoping this works out well especially after the slight upgrade of chelshia. Speed is equalized, Marge does not have a gun to make up for the AP advantage, and the fight starts in an empty field in Kansas.

Chelshia: 7

Marge Simpso: 2

Marge Krump
Chelshia Crump
 
Cause Marges disappointed look as a huge guilt trip in the show, even Bart can't handle the look without maximum guilt.
 
.56 tons to no effin' clue. Buuuut with berserk mode she's much higher, as she oneshots enemies that can handle her normal attacks, so either double or triple her normal AP if we're being generous
 
So, big problem is, if Marge starts to go at it, Chel is going to go down. Marges training in several martial arts and fighting styles, experience, level head, Teleporting, and physical advantages. Problem would come in her tendency to hold back cause her kind nature. But her mentioned above skills and abilities keep her in the game. Chels range saucy says it both needs to charge, and it isn't like a gun that would pierce damage, and her hair as well could honestly serve as a defense anyway, which she has shown to use. But since Marge would give time due to holding back, it more so depends how fast Chel makes her mad enough to fight back. And frankly, it would be a little too fast. Marges tolerance for physical violence is very very low. Like shown with the prison episode where she up and smacked a women unconscious for toying with her. And her patients in general has shortened heavily since the series has started. She would be very quick to actually get pissed enough to go full in combat. And if she does this one to berserker Mode, Chel is going down. Physical advantages, training, her hair used as a surprise attack and defensive weapon, and ways to get up close. It's all simply too much considering Marge would be a real good amount stronger

But, let's look at this with berserker rage. As there's no doubt that a few times, Chel would achieve this first, or in time of angry Marge. Then, it's relatively closer, but about the same fight as before. Marge still holds the physical advantages, it just would be a lot closer. Her hair as a defense as well is gonna be pretty good to most of chels attacks, and honestly, is gonna be a little odd she would use. I mean if up close with her, Chel would expect some melee with hands and legs, but if she did a hair slap, that's gonna catch her off guard (least the first time), as well, with how big it is, it's like having to worry about her attack with 5 different things. Arms, legs, and her hair. Chel could of course still beat Marge in berserker mode since she physical comes within par of Marge, and if she played smart enough, she could get those lucky hits in a few times. But in the end, Marge has the more reliable win. Especially since she more times than not would get pissed pre to Berserker
 
Okay a few problems with that.


Chelshia has dealt with people more skilled than her before, and managed to beat four experienced pirates with ease and beat their captain who had never lost a fight up until that point. Saying that she is going to be screwed up by some skill or martial arts is a little silly. Also knowing a lot of martial arts, while a feat of skill, doesn't really express how skilled you are when putting them into use. Heck Marge doesn't even seem that skilled when we look at the feats on her profile? All she did was beat a professional boxer? That's nothing compared to stopping an entire pirate fleet singlehandedly

Also Marge's hair seems to be a very specific defense for her. As in, it doesn't seem to be too applicable at some point? At least with attack reflection, and we don't know if it'd be able to reflect a giant blob of pizza sauce as it's not similar to that of a bullet. It also seems like she has to apply hairspray to actually get this effect? Something she won't be able to do mid battle. Hell, hairspray is flammable. Chelshia could just punch some fire in her direction and she's suddenly set on fire, which is definitely going to be a problem for her.

Marge using her hair as a weapon shouldn't be surprising for Chelshia. She's seen weirder imo. Harpies, pizza slimes with duplication, regeneraing Dullahan heads with the power of flight, and teleporting wizards and mimics who have a heck of a lot more experience with magic. An extra limb isn't going to be a problem. Also, your argument of five things coming to hit her doesn't really apply?? You can't really utilize all limbs in combat at once after all. At some point it's going to be too awkward for her to keep up.

Chelshia has much more mobility and range as well, which you seem to be ignoring in this case? Double jump, harpy boost and the dash punch which ups her speed to allow her to blitz even those comparable to her is going to leave Marge spinning real bad. Especially since she can make the ground shake to knock someone off balance.

Her teleportation also isn't goin to be effective as Chelshia has dealt with a lot of things that can teleport and a lot of things with quite a bit of maneuverability. If anything it's something rather familiar for her and she's just be used to it, which eliminates one possible surprise.

Chel's also not at a disadvantage here when it comes to physical stats. Assuming that it's even only a two times boost to her ap that's 1.12 tons and that makes it not even a two times AP advantage, assuming its three times and they're easily close on the AP scale, so I don't see it being overly relevant.

Level headedness doesn't really make sense though? It's not like Chelshia goes into a blind rage when she gets into combat, nor is it like she's a completely blind combatant that doesn't know what she's doing. She's just as level headed as the rest of the pirates, heck even moreso considering that some of them are actually considerably angry and have admitted to have a few anger issues. She's tactical, having combat literally programmed into her. She's not going to be caught off by something level headed, especially when the pirate captain and the boss of the Halloween event has been ever so level headed, same with DJ Doroko.

And then there's her chest form, which is probably the most useful thing here. Invincibility, no questions asked. It can tank just about any attack in the game and Chelshia can't take damage when she's in this chest form, which is a constant throughout the game and not just game mechanics. Marge isn't going to be able to attack her if she just sits in her chest, and this gives her time to plan or charge up other ranged attacks, which Marge can only deflect if it hits her hair, and even then that's debatable.

also if she's so quick to get angry why is her not promoting violence considered a weakness? Seems like it's not relevant (and it was one of the reasons why you told me to make the match so frankly I feel betrayed)

Basically your points are a little bit naught, and only one or two could perhaps hold water, but the rest is something that Chelshia has either handled or has an easy way around. Most attacks can be blocked by just going into chest form, which isn't that hard either. A telegraphed attack such as a hair slap isn't going to really get the upper hand here when a whats practically a thought turns her into a chest which cannot be damaged.
 
Ah that doesn't sound nearly as impressive then...yeah no I'm even more confident in my debunks. Marge doesn't seem to compare to stopping a pirate fleet by yourself.
 
Jackythejack said:
Ah that doesn't sound nearly as impressive then...yeah no I'm even more confident in my debunks. Marge doesn't seem to compare to stopping a pirate fleet by yourself.
I'm still typing my reply. I'll say, 4 experienced pirates is vague. And marges skill does scale to people like Homer too. Facing people who are more skilled.
 
Mind if you provide evidence?

She has police officer training, normal H2H when she was bulked and what you refer to probably comes from that episode where she goes against fights in the hexagon (dunno the spanish name, so much less I care about the english one).
 
How about 4 experienced pirates at once, many of which have been pirates since they were little, one since she was practically born, the other since the age of like ten or twelve, and the others either being incredibly smart or being pirates for several years. As well as DJ Doroko, who is more skilled than the four pirates as well, and then the captain who is even more skilled than that.

And that doesn't include the uh...entirety of the fleet. Those are only the ones in charge. Fighting an entire pirate fleet is impressive skill feat and I don't think Marge compares you haven't given her a good comparison feat.
 
The Calaca said:
Mind if you provide evidence?

She has police officer training, normal H2H when she was bulked and what you refer to probably comes from that episode where she goes against fights in the hexagon (dunno the spanish name, so much less I care about the english one).
I couldn't link the episode cause I don't think it's on YouTube but I can tell you which one its from

It came from The Great Wife hope. She is shown learning karate in that dojo bart use to "go" too. Shown also training with boxing. And is supposedly going around to learn what she can for this. Since it being mixed martial arts and boxing, better she knew more than less. (And it being a mixed martial arts tournament). Watching it, could probably identify what she knows. I know she used a little karate and I think a judo too, but I'll have to go back to watch it again
 
Just because the fight was about mixed martial arts doesn't make her skilled in several martial arts. That title comes from the fact that people from different disciplines fight each other, unlike regular martial arts tournaments where the fighters practice the same martial art.

So she has Karate, Boxing (mind you, not a martial art) and police officer training.

I'd not count she beating the champ as a skill feat. I remember she one-shoting him once Bart was in danger.
 
Four experienced pirates is vague, and I can say the same that Marge hadn't even been defeated. Every time she has fought, she whooped who she fought with. And it's not the martial arts alone that screws her. She is trained in multiple fighting areas (Karate, mixed martial arts, Law enforcement, Ect). And as far as the professional mix martial artist. He was the show runner of it. He was a the guy who created the mix martial artist thing that Marge was hating so much. (I forget the exact name of it). Marge did not only beat him, but even when he resorted to dirty tactics, she still whooped him when pissed. And she has fought with others that are relatively good fighters. Ones better than homer like Shamis (if that's how you spell his name. That Gun dealer). And frankly, she should be good enough to fight with her. The fact of her physical advantages, both lifting and attack is gonna be biting a Chel a new one. I'll get into the exact physicality later. But Marge is certainly skilled enough considering her attack advantages she starts with, and still had even after berserker mode.

She had dealt with weird stuff sure. And it wouldnt throw her off her game. But doesn't mean she's expecting it. If Marge is up close and slaps her with it, it's gonna be harder to react to something you weren't expecting. I'm not saying she would utilize all at once. I'm saying that's more areas she was to watch from attacks from. When you fight with someone, you know they can attack with their arms or their legs. And their left or right Ones. And well, she also has to worry if Marge swings her hair her direction, cause that's gonna hurt.

Mobility does help, but her range doesn't help that much considering it's a charge shot which is even noted to take time to charge in her weaknesses. Marge has answers to avoiding it, and even a natural defense to smack it away. Considering her physicality, her using an attack to hit close in not a good idea cause Marge can start smacking her from there, and at that point would go ham on her

Teleportation is still gonna help. We can't just act like it does nothing. It won't be a surprise sure. I'll agree to that since she has experience with user of it. But it's still gonna help her get up close for close quarters combat. Which still is an advantage. It's not like Chel is gonna try and avoid all melee combat.

Oh yes she is. And This, AP is very relevant. Marge not only has backwards scaling from a Large Building feat, but their other Building level+ feat was done extremely casually, like, where Wiggum wasn't even really hurt by it. And this is especially relegate pre her rage mode, cause i doubt she opens with that. Marge is already gonna have got some damage in, like I said. Her tolerance is low, even in early series she attack on self defense. And nothing stops Marge from restraint her. Which she would give a try. That's what she did with the mixed martial artist guy. Which Chel wouldn't have a real answer for. If Marge places her in the same situation, she could easily break her arm there, and Chel ain't breaking free from Class 5

A level head does matter. It means she won't think or act irrationally. With her training, she will think and fight smart. I'm not saying the Chel would go in a blind rage, I'm just saying Marge is always gonna meek herself cool, even in a bad situation. I'm just saying she wouldn't resort to anything blind or irrational. I never said that Chel would.

It isn't even really that debatable. It's deflected a stronger attack. No reason this would be any different. If she started to hide, well, Marge wouldn't just stand there. Get out of range of her. After all, getting close wouldn't be too difficult. And I can also say, nothing stops Marge from pretzeling her too. Her lifting and attack strength are high enough to the point if she got her hand on her (which would happen a lot in this fight) she could really restrain her if need be with extreme ease.

Well, one. I didn't make the page. And two. It's cause she would rather not fight. It's just if she is attack, she has always been willing to defend herself, and in recent years has grown less tolerant for this stuff. Even in the time the Simpsons was really good (early seasons) she has attacked snake when approached in a violent way. She doesn't promote it, but will use it. After knocking that martial artist dude unconscious, she immediately went to talk to the crowd of how she didn't advocate violence.
 
The Calaca said:
Just because the fight was about mixed martial arts doesn't make her skilled in several martial arts. That title comes from the fact that people from different disciplines fight each other, unlike regular martial arts tournaments where the fighters practice the same martial art.

So she has Karate, Boxing (mind you, not a martial art) and police officer training.

I'd not count she beating the champ as a skill feat. I remember she one-shoting him once Bart was in danger.
She did not one shot no. She one shot after he "admitted defeat" and told her to take a bow, then he attempted to attack her from behind and she turned and surprised attacked him. Which that was what knocked him out. But when seeing bart was in danger is what caused her to go ham on him, but still didn't one shot,
 
side note. Thank goodness that didn't eat that comment cause I forget to copy it, and oh boy would have been triggered if I lost all it
 
I just saw the fight, yes. It wasn't a one-shot.

Although she only parried one of his attacks and basically outclassed him physically rather than outskilling him.

Note that she either way needed enough motivation for doing so.

Edit: BTW, Butters' right here. Skill>Experience no matter how much you got. You can street brawl all your life but a martial artist with enough skill will totally kick your ass.

Although, Teleportation is a no no in-character. She did it once to chase Homer, not to fight him. Non-combat applicable.
 
Well. She did blitz him too at the end too with that kick. So fair enough. She was clearly physically superior in both ways.

I know she's used it at least twice, we even got them linked on her page iirc, but neither are in fights. I would think if she was pissed, that's when she would used it, albiet, she would have to be pissed
 
already covered the talk about the pirates. They've been fighting people for years and have been criminals for such a long time with such a specific skill hierarchy that she has been fighting people with just as much if not more skill than Marge without needing nearly as much experience, but even then every single pirate she fights has to be skilled otherwise they wouldn't be part of the Sea Spiders becuase Ellena doesn't like to be disappointed.

Swiging your hair is such a telegraphed move that it's not even funny how easy Chelshia should be able to avoid it. Like, it's not going to be a problem becuase Chelshia has dealt with worse, like DJ Doroko, someone arguably just as if not more skilled and can shoot sound waves from their hair/hat, so I wouldn't say that it's going to really be much of a problem in the slightest. Especially when Chelshia can just turn invisible.

range does help her a lot actually. What's not mentioned in her profile is that she can still punch and attack and dash while charging her saucy shot, and can even do so while in her chest. It doesn't take long to charge either, about two to three seconds max. With her being able to still attack while charging, this isn't going to be a problem. She can do hit and run tactics before running off easily. Marge's attack reflection won't really help her in this case since we've only seen it block a bullet and we can see the saucy shot stop a cannonball dead in its tracks, so basically attack reflection here is absolutely pointless. Her attacks are far too powerful.

Olay but they're still building level+ and it's easy to close that gap unless you're literally saying they're just High 8-C which they cannot be in this form. Back scaling from it, even if we're generous, is like, 1.99 tons, but likely something like 1.80, or hell maybe even 1.50. Chelshia can compete with that no issue as long as she goes into berserk mode, which wouldn't take long to do becuase she'd know that she's fighting a tough opponent if Marge even shows a modicum of skill in this situation. Grabbing Chelshia isn't going to work because she can just transform into a chest to avoid such an attack, or just dash punch away. It does make her considerably faster to the point of blitzing those comparable to her for a short amount of time, making her overwhelming and hard to track down. Also he'll one of her arms is just a big ol' stone arm. Odds are she isn't going to break that and Chelshia's other arm isn't really something that she uses so it's not going to amount to much, and even then transforming into her chest just kinda stops her from being grabbed by the arm.

The level head thing still seems like a bit of a moot point if the same can be said about the other combatant. It's not like either are considerably less cool headed or anything like that. Moving on from this topic because it seems irrelevant.

Rest of your points seem to repeat the lifting strength argument which isn't exactly relevant because I already mentioned the transformation cancelling that out before she disappears in a puff of smoke and a chest is in her place. Nothing to grab.
 
I've always interpreted the second instance as she flying out of the cafe and coming back from the front door after getting out, with the speed of the event being that high because of pacing, but I'll compromise.

Unintentional and not applicable still. No reason to believe she'd do that in a fight as she doesn't show anything like that when fighting.
 
Buttersamuri said:
Well. She did blitz him too at the end too with that kick. So fair enough. She was clearly physically superior in both ways.
I know she's used it at least twice, we even got them linked on her page iirc, but neither are in fights. I would think if she was pissed, that's when she would used it, albiet, she would have to be pissed
If she doesn't use them in fights we can't assume she'll use them in a vs thread, so that's not going to work. Sorry.
 
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