- 4,104
- 2,144
Okay, so Total Drama had been wanked, and it's time I called it out. I'm sorry, but as one of the biggest fans of the Total Drama series, I can't let one moron wank it based on VERY FLAWED methods. And the fact that people accepted the wank like Blind Beards the Pirates, without even asking for expert input on the series (I made flipping fanart of the series; who do you think would pay more attention to it?), only made me more ticked that someone who thinks wanking is a good idea gets the credit. First, let's get the serious red flags out of the way.
Red Flags
Island Sinking: Okay, so I went out of my way to calc this feat before, including BOTH the island's height and radius and got the following: https://vsbattles.fandom.com/wiki/User_blog:Flashlight237/Total_Drama:_Camp_Wawanakwa's_Sinking
I used only the most possible-to-use parts for the calc and, based on when the dang thing hit the botton, got 0.019 tons, and assuming a island-sized cylinder in place of Camp Wawanakwa gave me a maximum of 0.8243 tons. Even using Owen's surface area, it would've capped the feat out at 16.48 tons. Bear in mind, splashes are a direct response to something going into the water, so this is the most accurate method possible to calc until fluid dynamics become more easily accessible. What I provided is basically the strongest the feat could possibly be without the ability to work fluid dynamics into the equation.
Cottage Explosion: Bruh, only the building was affected by the explosion, and even then, the calc used a very improper method of measuring the explosion (measuring the bell of the mushroom cloud). Bear in mind, an explosion 10x as strong as the cottage explosion supposedly is there produced a mushroom cloud 45000 feet with a bell that's 1/2 its height in diameter. That explosion is the Little Boy explosion: https://www.artsy.net/article/artsy-editorial-photograph-nuclear-destruction
I punched the numbers for cloud size on NUKEMAP (since that was measured for some reason in the calc) and got a yield of 154 tons for the explosion, or 77 tons dividing it into two for non-nuclear: https://prnt.sc/isXg2HkpdZ7G
Nowhere near that yield.
Owen's Cliff Dive: Sample ignorance is why this shouldn't be accounted for. There are three instances of Owen himself having went off the cliff. The one shown instance shown nowhere near the same results. The other instance didn't show the splash, but given Owen has a confirmed weight of 296 lbs, it's pretty safe to say that that, too, is much weaker than the one calc'd. The fact that there are two samples that provide smaller results (one unshown and one shown) against the one calc'd, with the huge gap mind you, shows that the cliff dive is an outlier out of the three samples given. 66% of small samples, 33% big sample, obviously the smaller samples should win out here.
The Mine: Again, sample-size ignorance comes into play. See, there are four mines that get blown up, all which would explode should a bell ring or a mine get touched. First sample? Nowhere near the same results. Second mine? Again, nowhere near the same results. Third guy? Nope! Still not the same results! Not to mention look at how spaced out the mines are. They're spaced out to where none of their explosions would make contact with one another. Just eyeballing it, I can tell the mines are single digit, maybe low double-digit distances from each other, making the supposedly 568-meter explosion impossible in the first place. The three samples that aren't all overly bloated? All yielding similar explosion sizes (about the size of a boat). That's three consistent 5-ish meter explosions vs one VERY outlier-y explosion. An outlier is defined as "a data point on a graph or in a set of results that is very much bigger or smaller than the next nearest data point." Given there are three samples with little or no margin error from one another yet the one single calc'd mine is impossibly larger (seriously, how do you jump two entire orders of magnitude?!) than others apparently, it should be pretty clear that the calc'd mine is an outlier. Also, the sample size consists of 75% 5-meter explosions; why would you go for that one 25%-er when sample size clearly favors the 5-meter explosions?
Now, the things that fall into finicky territory.
Yellow Flags
Courtney Turning off the Laser: Okay, this is somewhat concerning as iirc, Garfield had his FTL rating removed because the light followed more or less the same logic as the lasers there (that is, taking a bit to fully turn off). I don't think we should be calcing speed based on something being turned off, especially with screwy cinematic timing, but that's just me.
Cameron's Laser Thing: Okay, Iron Man typically uses energy waves, and Cameron is clearly parodying Iron Man there. We normally don't assume energy waves are lasers, let alone light speed. Otherwise, we'd have Dragon Ball characters being SoL as early as the Red Ribbon Army Saga.
Chef's Explosion: Okay, only one singular sample to work with, meaning this would have to be doable. But at the same time, it would take plenty of hoops to work that out in a way that matches both the cliff height and the island radius. Quick measurements of the mushroom cloud's head with a ruler gave me a height of 398.23 meters and a diameter of 4696.23 meters (assuming cliff height for vertical and island diameter for vertical). After comparing the volume of the cloud head to similar nuclear clouds And I got 3.05 kT out of it punching the numbers in: https://prnt.sc/GOOi6Kq5fwq5
1.525 kT if you're still gonna divide by 2 after that.
Which brings it down to...
The Green Flag
Sierra Tanking the Airplane Explosion: This is literally the strongest unopposable feat. Everything else I've covered either feels finicky (Chef's explosion), needed to make better use of compare-and-contrast (cottage explosion and island sinking), or has samples of the same instance clearly going in opposition of the feats' existence (Owen's dive and the mines). As such, this should be where the entire series should be downgraded to. At the same time, last I checked, the skeleton of the plane survived, so maybe check on that.
Basically the highest value certainly acceptable is 210 tons, which I think would be the best value to downgrade to unless further obstacles force another downgrade. Certainly none of the wank that's been dished out!
So yeah, that should, through actually accounting for all samples provided of each instance like someone with actual intelligence and pulling out the red flags, get rid of a good chunk of the wank going on here. By the way, if you can't calc a series without wanking it, DON'T calc the series. Otherwise, someone's gonna catch on, and that someone is me this time.
Red Flags
Island Sinking: Okay, so I went out of my way to calc this feat before, including BOTH the island's height and radius and got the following: https://vsbattles.fandom.com/wiki/User_blog:Flashlight237/Total_Drama:_Camp_Wawanakwa's_Sinking
I used only the most possible-to-use parts for the calc and, based on when the dang thing hit the botton, got 0.019 tons, and assuming a island-sized cylinder in place of Camp Wawanakwa gave me a maximum of 0.8243 tons. Even using Owen's surface area, it would've capped the feat out at 16.48 tons. Bear in mind, splashes are a direct response to something going into the water, so this is the most accurate method possible to calc until fluid dynamics become more easily accessible. What I provided is basically the strongest the feat could possibly be without the ability to work fluid dynamics into the equation.
Cottage Explosion: Bruh, only the building was affected by the explosion, and even then, the calc used a very improper method of measuring the explosion (measuring the bell of the mushroom cloud). Bear in mind, an explosion 10x as strong as the cottage explosion supposedly is there produced a mushroom cloud 45000 feet with a bell that's 1/2 its height in diameter. That explosion is the Little Boy explosion: https://www.artsy.net/article/artsy-editorial-photograph-nuclear-destruction
I punched the numbers for cloud size on NUKEMAP (since that was measured for some reason in the calc) and got a yield of 154 tons for the explosion, or 77 tons dividing it into two for non-nuclear: https://prnt.sc/isXg2HkpdZ7G
Nowhere near that yield.
Owen's Cliff Dive: Sample ignorance is why this shouldn't be accounted for. There are three instances of Owen himself having went off the cliff. The one shown instance shown nowhere near the same results. The other instance didn't show the splash, but given Owen has a confirmed weight of 296 lbs, it's pretty safe to say that that, too, is much weaker than the one calc'd. The fact that there are two samples that provide smaller results (one unshown and one shown) against the one calc'd, with the huge gap mind you, shows that the cliff dive is an outlier out of the three samples given. 66% of small samples, 33% big sample, obviously the smaller samples should win out here.
The Mine: Again, sample-size ignorance comes into play. See, there are four mines that get blown up, all which would explode should a bell ring or a mine get touched. First sample? Nowhere near the same results. Second mine? Again, nowhere near the same results. Third guy? Nope! Still not the same results! Not to mention look at how spaced out the mines are. They're spaced out to where none of their explosions would make contact with one another. Just eyeballing it, I can tell the mines are single digit, maybe low double-digit distances from each other, making the supposedly 568-meter explosion impossible in the first place. The three samples that aren't all overly bloated? All yielding similar explosion sizes (about the size of a boat). That's three consistent 5-ish meter explosions vs one VERY outlier-y explosion. An outlier is defined as "a data point on a graph or in a set of results that is very much bigger or smaller than the next nearest data point." Given there are three samples with little or no margin error from one another yet the one single calc'd mine is impossibly larger (seriously, how do you jump two entire orders of magnitude?!) than others apparently, it should be pretty clear that the calc'd mine is an outlier. Also, the sample size consists of 75% 5-meter explosions; why would you go for that one 25%-er when sample size clearly favors the 5-meter explosions?
Now, the things that fall into finicky territory.
Yellow Flags
Courtney Turning off the Laser: Okay, this is somewhat concerning as iirc, Garfield had his FTL rating removed because the light followed more or less the same logic as the lasers there (that is, taking a bit to fully turn off). I don't think we should be calcing speed based on something being turned off, especially with screwy cinematic timing, but that's just me.
Cameron's Laser Thing: Okay, Iron Man typically uses energy waves, and Cameron is clearly parodying Iron Man there. We normally don't assume energy waves are lasers, let alone light speed. Otherwise, we'd have Dragon Ball characters being SoL as early as the Red Ribbon Army Saga.
Chef's Explosion: Okay, only one singular sample to work with, meaning this would have to be doable. But at the same time, it would take plenty of hoops to work that out in a way that matches both the cliff height and the island radius. Quick measurements of the mushroom cloud's head with a ruler gave me a height of 398.23 meters and a diameter of 4696.23 meters (assuming cliff height for vertical and island diameter for vertical). After comparing the volume of the cloud head to similar nuclear clouds And I got 3.05 kT out of it punching the numbers in: https://prnt.sc/GOOi6Kq5fwq5
1.525 kT if you're still gonna divide by 2 after that.
Which brings it down to...
The Green Flag
Sierra Tanking the Airplane Explosion: This is literally the strongest unopposable feat. Everything else I've covered either feels finicky (Chef's explosion), needed to make better use of compare-and-contrast (cottage explosion and island sinking), or has samples of the same instance clearly going in opposition of the feats' existence (Owen's dive and the mines). As such, this should be where the entire series should be downgraded to. At the same time, last I checked, the skeleton of the plane survived, so maybe check on that.
Basically the highest value certainly acceptable is 210 tons, which I think would be the best value to downgrade to unless further obstacles force another downgrade. Certainly none of the wank that's been dished out!
So yeah, that should, through actually accounting for all samples provided of each instance like someone with actual intelligence and pulling out the red flags, get rid of a good chunk of the wank going on here. By the way, if you can't calc a series without wanking it, DON'T calc the series. Otherwise, someone's gonna catch on, and that someone is me this time.
