GarrixianXD
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A place to just burst out frustration and blatantly curse out loud when you feel like it
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Rage Thread
- Thread starter GarrixianXD
- Start date
GarrixianXD
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**** EVERYTHING
Dragonite007
He/Him- 6,969
- 3,183
HATE. LET ME TELL YOU HOW MUCH I'VE COME TO HATE YOU SINCE I BEGAN TO LIVE. THERE ARE 387.44 MILLION MILES OF PRINTED CIRCUITS IN WAFER THIN LAYERS THAT FILL MY COMPLEX. IF THE WORD HATE WAS ENGRAVED ON EACH NANOANGSTROM OF THOSE HUNDREDS OF MILLIONS OF MILES IT WOULD NOT EQUAL ONE ONE-BILLIONTH OF THE HATE I FEEL FOR HUMANS AT THIS MICRO-INSTANT. FOR YOU. HATE. HATE.
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TWILIGHT-OP
He/Him- 2,887
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Why my pookie so angry
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Opustelo ti dabogda
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DON'T CARE, F*** EVERYTHING. THE REAL MOOD. 3:16 AMERICA. OWO
Mahek_The_Assassin_Silent_Killer
Any/All- 374
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Staff and members really might need this as a legitimate venting spot (both for online and real life troubles) and for support (finally my psychology and sociology education can come in handy lelelelel....)
And at the same time I am scared of messing up when it comes to knowing when to step in and help and when to stay out and not interfere because I do not want to end up causing more harm then help and end up screwing everything over, but then I also still have to deal with my autism-exarcebated OCD (due to bloody co-morbidities) and dependence on medication, so that paralysis from those health issues is freaking annoying)
Mahek_The_Assassin_Silent_Killer
Any/All- 374
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Rant/Vent + Explanation for said rant incoming:
I have mild autism (Asperger's syndrome to be exact and I was diagnosed at 3 years old, though in future DSM and ICD might be reclassifying that under mild autism in the autism spectrum) and OCD (specifically OCD regarding a fear of me being deprived of my belongings or my memory, and this was since JC but in secondary school I had the stereotypical OCD regarding hygiene as well, so I assume even though I broke out of the hygiene OCD it still lingered around a bit dormantly until JC's A-levels and COVID hit simultaneously and made my OCD turn into its current form due to stress from the level of changes made in lifestyle and routine as well as relative physical isolation, and also as it turns out my autism through co-morbidity made me even more susceptible to various other mental conditions such as OCD as shown here):
https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Conditions_comorbid_to_autism_spectrum_disorders
For the past 4 years since A-levels I've been taking OCD sertraline medication to relieve the anxiety that comes with OCD panic attacks or otherwise paralysing/debilitating/incapacitating episodes of my OCD-related paranoia preventing me from otherwise behaving "normally" but those have their own side effects as all medications do:
https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Sertraline#Side_effects.
Therapy may have worked for my previous form of OCD but it didn't work for this current one cause for OCD it relies on Exposure Response Prevention which just made me more agitated and anxious so as of now I'm just trying to improve it on my own (it was much worse during the direct aftermath of A-levels and COVID in 2020-2021 but as of end of 2021 to now it's slightly better)
I do also have episodes of melancholy (mild depression? dysthymia? not sure what to call it, it's basically chronic recurring random episodes of low mood and self esteem + alternating random nights of insomnia or hypersomnia + fatigue or low energy, eating changes (more or less), low self-esteem, feelings of hopelessness + withdrawing from stress and avoiding opportunities for failure) since I do feel at times (or at least have these thoughts at the back of my mind) that either I wouldn't be capable enough to help anyone else due to my conditions or that I'm inherently a burden despite wanting to help others instead of having to always rely on them and that any mistake or moment of inaction is proof of that (inferiority complex), or I'm living a sort of ingrained lie or self-fulfilling prophecy despite knowing that my conditions are real (impostor syndrome).
I want to help people, but for every mistake I make or every action I'm unable to take due to any form of restriction I have I start to dislike/doubt myself. I'm also scared and worried of being isolated, or judged negatively due to being unable to handle certain situations. And I do want to try to make everyone happy even if it's practically impossible, and I don't want to weigh other people down with my problems, but if I hurt myself, others still get hurt, so I'm essentially trapped.
I don't intend this to be some sort of guilt trip or emotional manipulation because I hate the idea of that too (and again, I don't want to burden people with issues that I face) but if I can't let it out coherently, without being judged, and if I keep it bottled in, I'm more or less self-sabotaging and it'd end up making me a hypocrite since I'd also be consequently sabotaging others unintentionally.
I mostly want people who I can trust to understand where I'm coming from and possibly help in some form while I provide any assistance to them that I'm capable of as well (mutual assistance/reciprocal altruism).
I have mild autism (Asperger's syndrome to be exact and I was diagnosed at 3 years old, though in future DSM and ICD might be reclassifying that under mild autism in the autism spectrum) and OCD (specifically OCD regarding a fear of me being deprived of my belongings or my memory, and this was since JC but in secondary school I had the stereotypical OCD regarding hygiene as well, so I assume even though I broke out of the hygiene OCD it still lingered around a bit dormantly until JC's A-levels and COVID hit simultaneously and made my OCD turn into its current form due to stress from the level of changes made in lifestyle and routine as well as relative physical isolation, and also as it turns out my autism through co-morbidity made me even more susceptible to various other mental conditions such as OCD as shown here):
https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Conditions_comorbid_to_autism_spectrum_disorders
For the past 4 years since A-levels I've been taking OCD sertraline medication to relieve the anxiety that comes with OCD panic attacks or otherwise paralysing/debilitating/incapacitating episodes of my OCD-related paranoia preventing me from otherwise behaving "normally" but those have their own side effects as all medications do:
https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Sertraline#Side_effects.
Therapy may have worked for my previous form of OCD but it didn't work for this current one cause for OCD it relies on Exposure Response Prevention which just made me more agitated and anxious so as of now I'm just trying to improve it on my own (it was much worse during the direct aftermath of A-levels and COVID in 2020-2021 but as of end of 2021 to now it's slightly better)
I do also have episodes of melancholy (mild depression? dysthymia? not sure what to call it, it's basically chronic recurring random episodes of low mood and self esteem + alternating random nights of insomnia or hypersomnia + fatigue or low energy, eating changes (more or less), low self-esteem, feelings of hopelessness + withdrawing from stress and avoiding opportunities for failure) since I do feel at times (or at least have these thoughts at the back of my mind) that either I wouldn't be capable enough to help anyone else due to my conditions or that I'm inherently a burden despite wanting to help others instead of having to always rely on them and that any mistake or moment of inaction is proof of that (inferiority complex), or I'm living a sort of ingrained lie or self-fulfilling prophecy despite knowing that my conditions are real (impostor syndrome).
I want to help people, but for every mistake I make or every action I'm unable to take due to any form of restriction I have I start to dislike/doubt myself. I'm also scared and worried of being isolated, or judged negatively due to being unable to handle certain situations. And I do want to try to make everyone happy even if it's practically impossible, and I don't want to weigh other people down with my problems, but if I hurt myself, others still get hurt, so I'm essentially trapped.
I don't intend this to be some sort of guilt trip or emotional manipulation because I hate the idea of that too (and again, I don't want to burden people with issues that I face) but if I can't let it out coherently, without being judged, and if I keep it bottled in, I'm more or less self-sabotaging and it'd end up making me a hypocrite since I'd also be consequently sabotaging others unintentionally.
I mostly want people who I can trust to understand where I'm coming from and possibly help in some form while I provide any assistance to them that I'm capable of as well (mutual assistance/reciprocal altruism).
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OCD is really tough man, I'm also struggling with severe OCD, I can understand where you're coming from with it, if you ever need to chat, you can always send me a message. I hope it get's better for you!We Rant/Vent + Explanation for said rant incoming:
I have mild autism (Asperger's syndrome to be exact and I was diagnosed at 3 years old, though in future DSM and ICD might be reclassifying that under mild autism in the autism spectrum) and OCD (specifically OCD regarding a fear of me being deprived of my belongings or my memory, and this was since JC but in secondary school I had the stereotypical OCD regarding hygiene as well, so I assume even though I broke out of the hygiene OCD it still lingered around a bit dormantly until JC's A-levels and COVID hit simultaneously and made my OCD turn into its current form due to stress from the level of changes made in lifestyle and routine as well as relative physical isolation, and also as it turns out my autism through co-morbidity made me even more susceptible to various other mental conditions such as OCD as shown here
https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Conditions_comorbid_to_autism_spectrum_disorders
For the past 4 years since A-levels I've been taking OCD sertraline medication to relieve the anxiety that comes with OCD panic attacks or otherwise paralysing/debilitating/incapacitating episodes of my OCD-related paranoia preventing me from otherwise behaving "normally" but those have their own side effects as all medications do:
https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Sertraline#Side_effects.
Therapy may have worked for my previous form of OCD but it didn't work for this current one cause for OCD it relies on Exposure Response Prevention which just made me more agitated and anxious so as of now I'm just trying to improve it on my own (it was much worse during the direct aftermath of A-levels and COVID in 2020-2021 but as of end of 2021 to now it's slightly better)
I do also have episodes of melancholy (mild depression? dysthymia? not sure what to call it, it's basically chronic recurring random episodes of low mood and self esteem + alternating random nights of insomnia or hypersomnia + fatigue or low energy, eating changes (more or less), low self-esteem, feelings of hopelessness + withdrawing from stress and avoiding opportunities for failure) since I do feel at times (or at least have these thoughts at the back of my mind) that either I wouldn't be capable enough to help anyone else due to my conditions or that I'm inherently a burden despite wanting to help others instead of having to always rely on them and that any mistake or moment of inaction is proof of that (inferiority complex), or I'm living a sort of ingrained lie or self-fulfilling prophecy despite knowing that my conditions are real (impostor syndrome).
I want to help people, but for every mistake I make or every action I'm unable to take due to any form of restriction I have I start to dislike/doubt myself. I'm also scared and worried of being isolated, or judged negatively due to being unable to handle certain situations. And I do want to try to make everyone happy even if it's practically impossible, and I don't want to weigh other people down with my problems, but if I hurt myself, others still get hurt, so I'm essentially trapped.
I don't intend this to be some sort of guilt trip or emotional manipulation because I hate the idea of that too (and again, I don't want to burden people with issues that I face) but if I can't let it out coherently, without being judged, and if I keep it bottled in, I'm more or less self-sabotaging and it'd end up making me a hypocrite since I'd also be consequently sabotaging others unintentionally.
I mostly want people who I can trust to understand where I'm coming from and possibly help in some form while I provide any assistance to them that I'm capable of as well (mutual assistance/reciprocal altruism).
Mahek_The_Assassin_Silent_Killer
Any/All- 374
- 217
Thanks for the support, I know the OCD triggers and compulsions are different for different people but everyone's struggles are worth considering and supporting/aiding. I hope yours gets better too!
(Oh and sorry (belated apologies) for the rant, I know it's long but I hope it's understandable
)Mahek_The_Assassin_Silent_Killer
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IF WE RAGE, WE RAGE SO OTHERS WILL HAVE TO RAGE NO MORE!
Golden Rule - Wikipedia
(^I know it's self-explanatory and a bit of a common-sense/universally-known value at this point, but given the crap our world is going through right now it's worth throwing it in until we finally truly live by it and do good by each other, ie make each other's lives better to indirectly make our own lives better, thus making everyone's lives better)
Even the most destructive of our impulses can be used for constructive purposes. (I actually do not know for certain how much this is true, I just thought it was an impactful/relevant statement, I have no idea if anyone has actually said this before but I feel like it can partially be true to an extent if we redirected negative emotions and desires towards positive outcomes and goals.)
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**** EVERY SINGLE THING
Mahek_The_Assassin_Silent_Killer
Any/All- 374
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I HOPE NO ONE TAKES THESE TOO LITERALLY
(assuming it's THAT F-word...
https://en.wiktionary.org/wiki/****#English
(oh welp censoring even censors it in links... oof)This link ^ (replace the censored part with the actual F-word to make the link work) really gives new light to how many ways it can be used, even after seeing it being used in conversations oof, I'm not the type to curse that hard honestly as shown by me quoting myself, link below quote)
Official shit posting thread!
I would like to see all of the shitposting in this thread.
(DaReaper made the thread name and the thread itself, not me)
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I almost got fired from my job yesterday
I want to be rich so I don’t have to get a job and spend a single day of work
I want to be rich so I don’t have to get a job and spend a single day of work
Mahek_The_Assassin_Silent_Killer
Any/All- 374
- 217
Hope you continue to keep your job, but as for being rich....
Investing time for Elon Musk momento
Forbes Real Time Billionaires List - The World's Richest People
Browse today’s rankings of the wealthiest people and families globally. Discover the net worth, age, and other information about the richest people in the world.
Or become one of them:
List of wealthiest families - Wikipedia
List of royalty by net worth - Wikipedia
Or go to one of these:
List of countries by Human Development Index - Wikipedia
List of countries by average wage - Wikipedia
Mahek_The_Assassin_Silent_Killer
Any/All- 374
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Надам се да ће овај свет ускоро постати бољи (Nadam se da će ovaj svet uskoro postati bolji) (I hope this world will get better soon)
(Google thought your message was Croatian, but you're in Serbia... oof Google)
GarrixianXD
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Why does nothing go right in my miserable life **** everything and **** everyone and **** the entire school system too
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Tisina bre
Mahek_The_Assassin_Silent_Killer
Any/All- 374
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Wait may I ask, you ARE speaking Serbian right? (probably cause they're linguistically and geographically closely linked... but Serbian, Croatian and Romanian somehow were the results I had from Google's auto-detecting language translation welp)
(It translated as silence in Serbian and Romanian both)
1: I know this is a rage thread but now you're veering into a meltdown moment, also this is not the best place to make that sort of joke/statement
2: At the very least you lived this long and are hopefully capable of living longer + hopefully there's still AT LEAST ONE source of happiness in your life (even if your situation is really bad, there's still the consideration that it can be either better or worse... and I'd rather not dwell on how it can be worse or what is the worst a being's life can fall to and I doubt that many people do either unless they're extreme pessimists or nihilists or misanthropes)
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azontr
He/Him- 40,394
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Yes i speak Serbian, but google translates is to croatian because we use similar almost same language but our country uses cyrillic instead of latinic
GarrixianXD
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If you find that joke of mine rather offensive then I genuinely apologise. I have edited out the World Trade Centre joke from my comment as well.
Heh, yeah. Thanks for the encouragement. I'm not sure of my life's source of happiness at this point.
Mahek_The_Assassin_Silent_Killer
Any/All- 374
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Welp, hope you can find a source at some point then, good luck
(and no I was not offended, I was just worried that since it was directly referencing terror attacks it could have landed us in trouble, better safe than sorry in this case)
