- 2,528
- 2,483
-
This forum is strictly intended to be used by members of the VS Battles wiki. Please only register if you have an autoconfirmed account there, as otherwise your registration will be rejected. If you have already registered once, do not do so again, and contact Antvasima if you encounter any problems.
For instructions regarding the exact procedure to sign up to this forum, please click here. -
We need Patreon donations for this forum to have all of its running costs financially secured.
Community members who help us out will receive badges that give them several different benefits, including the removal of all advertisements in this forum, but donations from non-members are also extremely appreciated.
Please click here for further information, or here to directly visit our Patreon donations page. -
Please click here for information about a large petition to help children in need.
Rage Thread
- Thread starter GarrixianXD
- Start date
Mahek_The_Assassin_Silent_Killer
Any/All- 597
- 309
Welp I'mma gonna need this space again so thanks again to Garrixian for making this and sorry to everyone else who sees this yet again (bolding/italicising parts that are important for context or emphasis):
This is gonna suck:
While there ARE still joyful and wholesome moments in real life, it feels like the world is growing worse and worse cause of both historical reasons and reasons to do with modern geopolitical, socio-economic, and other related factors, and it's screwed up because majority of the time it's completely innocent people (or at least people who have nothing to do with the historical AND the modern factors/reasons due to not having that much privilege or influence which is detrimental by itself) who are suffering from those reasons...
(To see what I mean, here's articles for what I'm talking about:
en.wikipedia.org
en.wikipedia.org
en.wikipedia.org
It's so freaking insane that at least 2 of the biggest conflicts in the highest section for the ongoing armed conflicts article have been going on since near the end of WW2 until now)
..so honestly I don't know if:
I should be angry or sad that both the world is kinda messed up and growing more messed up over time
AND
whether that anger or sadness should be directed outwards at the world for being so messed up for so long or inwards at myself for not being able to do anything about it as of yet
(which fuels self-hatred cause I want to help people as mentioned previously, but I don't want to either make mistakes and end up hurting people or detract from people's independence/autonomy by unintentionally patronising them or sounding condescending (on top of the mild autism and the more predominant moderate OCD which holds me back) so that complicates matters)
And then there's having to justify and suppress/conceal that anger and sadness to avoid being seen as "playing the victim/crying wolf" or otherwise being attention-seeking (and again, I don't want to necessarily burden anyone else either), but still needing to vent and find out if these feelings are valid or not and what I can do to deal with the thoughts healthily and also see if I could relate to others who may have similar issues/challenges, hence why I posted it here
Sorry again for the rant, hope no one else is too negatively affected by all this (and sorry there's so many bold/italicised parts), thanks again for this being a safe impartial space
1: Thanks for the rage thread
2: Still hoping you find a source of happiness
3: Damn it I need to vent too (I sincerely apologise to everyone who sees this cause I do not want to burden others with my emotions)
I've been thinking about how to phrase this because it's been in my head for a while now...
VUCA, social expectations and norms, etc... yeah society's kinda screwy honestly
VUCA - Wikipedia
I want to seek help but I feel like that becomes impossible because if I do I feel shame from being seen as trauma dumping or forcing others to acknowledge my feelings and thus burdening them, or feel like I'm lying to others or myself (impostor syndrome), or that I'm being selfish and a burden by throwing a pity party, and all of those expectations and negative feelings just reinforce the desire to hide my physical and mental flaws which makes the internal conflict worse over time.
I want to be better, and I want to help or at least not hurt others, but I keep feeling like I'm dragging people down just by being around them because of my conditions, but again it feels like if I express my self-hatred and pain it hurts others (again by dumping my emotions and problems onto others), and obviously hurting myself (or even killing myself) would also hurt others too, so again it reinforces the sense of shame and desire to hide my weaknesses, I'm not sure who I can trust to tell because even with loved ones who care about me I feel as if I do not deserve their help and that if they do help it just burdens them with no improvement or benefit in the long run, and even when I want to or try to help others, it feels as if it's only momentary/temporary and that the cost/burden of me being with them outweighs any benefits that come from helping them, even when that might not be true
And ^ of course with all of this I'm more or less venting but again it feels crappy because of feeling like I'm imposing an obligation or expectation to receive help + dumping my problems as explained, and I do not know if, if I do receive help, whether that would also benefit anyone in turn, because even if it means I'm in a better condition to help others I can't feel like I'm helping others enough to compensate for the burden I place on others by being around them.
This is gonna suck:
While there ARE still joyful and wholesome moments in real life, it feels like the world is growing worse and worse cause of both historical reasons and reasons to do with modern geopolitical, socio-economic, and other related factors, and it's screwed up because majority of the time it's completely innocent people (or at least people who have nothing to do with the historical AND the modern factors/reasons due to not having that much privilege or influence which is detrimental by itself) who are suffering from those reasons...
(To see what I mean, here's articles for what I'm talking about:
List of natural disasters by death toll - Wikipedia
Draft:List of anthropogenic disasters by death toll - Wikipedia
List of ongoing armed conflicts - Wikipedia
It's so freaking insane that at least 2 of the biggest conflicts in the highest section for the ongoing armed conflicts article have been going on since near the end of WW2 until now)
..so honestly I don't know if:
I should be angry or sad that both the world is kinda messed up and growing more messed up over time
AND
whether that anger or sadness should be directed outwards at the world for being so messed up for so long or inwards at myself for not being able to do anything about it as of yet
(which fuels self-hatred cause I want to help people as mentioned previously, but I don't want to either make mistakes and end up hurting people or detract from people's independence/autonomy by unintentionally patronising them or sounding condescending (on top of the mild autism and the more predominant moderate OCD which holds me back) so that complicates matters)
And then there's having to justify and suppress/conceal that anger and sadness to avoid being seen as "playing the victim/crying wolf" or otherwise being attention-seeking (and again, I don't want to necessarily burden anyone else either), but still needing to vent and find out if these feelings are valid or not and what I can do to deal with the thoughts healthily and also see if I could relate to others who may have similar issues/challenges, hence why I posted it here
Sorry again for the rant, hope no one else is too negatively affected by all this (and sorry there's so many bold/italicised parts), thanks again for this being a safe impartial space
GarrixianXD
University Enthusiast
Any/AllVS Battles
Joke Battles
Administrator
Content Moderator
Thread Moderator
Translation Helper
- 5,166
- 11,725
- Thread starter
- #43
You're a real pure kind-hearted soul.Welp I'mma gonna need this space again so thanks again to Garrixian for making this and sorry to everyone else who sees this yet again (bolding/italicising parts that are important for context or emphasis):
This is gonna suck:
While there ARE still joyful and wholesome moments in real life, it feels like the world is growing worse and worse cause of both historical reasons and reasons to do with modern geopolitical, socio-economic, and other related factors, and it's screwed up because majority of the time it's completely innocent people (or at least people who have nothing to do with the historical AND the modern factors/reasons due to not having that much privilege or influence which is detrimental by itself) who are suffering from those reasons...
(To see what I mean, here's articles for what I'm talking about:
List of natural disasters by death toll - Wikipedia
Draft:List of anthropogenic disasters by death toll - Wikipedia
List of ongoing armed conflicts - Wikipedia
It's so freaking insane that at least 2 of the biggest conflicts in the highest section for the ongoing armed conflicts article have been going on since near the end of WW2 until now)
..so honestly I don't know if:
I should be angry or sad that both the world is kinda messed up and growing more messed up over time
AND
whether that anger or sadness should be directed outwards at the world for being so messed up for so long or inwards at myself for not being able to do anything about it as of yet
(which fuels self-hatred cause I want to help people as mentioned previously, but I don't want to either make mistakes and end up hurting people or detract from people's independence/autonomy by unintentionally patronising them or sounding condescending (on top of the mild autism and the more predominant moderate OCD which holds me back) so that complicates matters)
And then there's having to justify and suppress/conceal that anger and sadness to avoid being seen as "playing the victim/crying wolf" or otherwise being attention-seeking (and again, I don't want to necessarily burden anyone else either), but still needing to vent and find out if these feelings are valid or not and what I can do to deal with the thoughts healthily and also see if I could relate to others who may have similar issues/challenges, hence why I posted it here
Sorry again for the rant, hope no one else is too negatively affected by all this (and sorry there's so many bold/italicised parts), thanks again for this being a safe impartial space
Mahek_The_Assassin_Silent_Killer
Any/All- 597
- 309
I try, I may not be able to help out as much as I could without OCD and/or autism (though then again they make me who I am in a way so I guess if that means it actually helps me help others that's great), but still worth trying.
I just hope I get the chance to do enough for as many people (and if possible, as many living beings too) as possible to benefit their lives as much as possible, either through real or virtual (physical or digital) means, whatever it takes.
But it also involves trying to understand in which contexts what is best to say or do to avoid hurting/offending people, and of course it means keeping emotions regulated but that does involve suppressing negative thoughts/emotions which is not healthy if held in too long or allowed to become too serious but also can't be let out that easily due to fear of judgement and shame, hence all the worries I wanted to vent about.
I'm not sure what the best way to vent these feelings out is (there's times I feel like wanting to scream because of how screwed up the condition of the world (and by extension the historical causes for said condition), but I cannot let it out in that way because it would negatively affect both others and myself), but I always feel like talking and socialising, both virtually and in reality, in a safe space with others in a way that mutually allows us to empathise and support each other is one of the more positive ways to go about it.
Basically gotta keep reminding myself of what I should do and what I should not do when it comes to trying to help others and myself (or, if that is not possible, then others before myself, either way everyone wins/benefits to some degree) so that I don't become a hypocrite (or feel like one from wack impostor syndrome or other similar feelings of guilt and insecurity) or fall short of what I want to do.
Hope it makes sense, I more or less want to find a way for everyone to help or at least not hurt each other, and even if it's impossible it's still worth striving for since it benefits everyone. (It's an idealist/optimistic position, sure, and ironic due to the frustrations I have, but I still would rather choose to believe than give in to cynicism/pessimism.)
Thanks again for listening, understanding and appreciating this (and thanks again for making this space in the first place so people like us can vent and also, if possible, help each other with said issues being vented, without feelings of being judged or ashamed).
- 363
- 567
Bro’s making an entire manifesto in fun and games 
Mahek_The_Assassin_Silent_Killer
Any/All- 597
- 309
It's not a manifesto it's a full-blown eruption welp (I just wanted to get all the crappy negative stuff I feel out so it's easier to deal with than keeping them in)Bro’s making an entire manifesto in fun and games
But yeah oof it do be hard
- 1,436
- 1,018
i need a place like this every time someone speaks on a nuanced topic in an overly simplistic way that makes it so he is technically correct but not entirely so/not in the context we're discussing so i have to actually take the time to explain everything for them only so they can parrot the same overly simplified shenannigans ignoring my explanation over and over again as if bewitched by an evil spirit
it's annoying....very annoying, and i really should stop arguing when that happens but i'm way too argumentative for my own good so i usually don't. i am, however, getting better at stopping when i need to thanfully
it's annoying....very annoying, and i really should stop arguing when that happens but i'm way too argumentative for my own good so i usually don't. i am, however, getting better at stopping when i need to thanfully
GarrixianXD
University Enthusiast
Any/AllVS Battles
Joke Battles
Administrator
Content Moderator
Thread Moderator
Translation Helper
- 5,166
- 11,725
- Thread starter
- #48
So many things feel so pointless now. I honestly don't know what the **** I'm gonna end up at after Uni ends. All I wish is not to die alone once the date comes.
- 1,436
- 1,018
gradutating next year, i feel the same way, future is honestly quite uncertain but i wish everyone here all the best, words are cheap, but i genuinely wish you good luck
may you and everyone live a long happy and healthy life
- 17,775
- 13,291
Winter in Russia is the most hellish experience ever. It genuienly sucks. I haven't felt so bad even during Diwali season in India (with the 999+ air quality quotient). One might think that Russia would have the most beautiful winters and yes, the winter is often nice looking...til' you look down at your feat and see endless sleet with dirt and dog shit (interestingly enough it isn't that bad this time around, I think the animal control workers are putting in more effort). Winters in Russia are the most inconsistent thing ever. One year it'll be -35 to -40 in January the other it'll be jumping between -1 and -10. This year winter didn't come for a while and recently it got so bad that we had rain mid-january. Yes, rain. Not even frozen rain, like, straight up rainstorm.
Winter isolates you from everyone else. In summer you want to go out, do something, see something. Winter, on the other hand, causes major traversal issues and is just generally cold af. Just going outside becomes a painful experience you don't want to experience. Even going to the supermarket that's literally a 2-3 minute walk away already becomes something you dread. Why? Because you literally cannot walk straight. Going outside in summer is nice because you have no issues walking from point A to point B but in winter it becomes a "spot the ice" game and a "step into the right place so you don't trip or go foot deep into snow" game. Of course, like any game that has painful traversal, it isn't pleasant. Every step becomes a challenge like you're trekking up a mountain, except you now have to add the challenge of cars constantly coming in and out because some dumbass didn't think that a sidewalk would be good for a neighborhood. Walking on soil is also not an option since due to how liquid the snow is by nature, all soil is now mud.
Now, the beauty of winter...that you need to be lucky to see lmao. You might see nice winter scenery when you go out of the city to some extent, but most of the time it looks like shit. I always hated the doomer-culture obsession with the "panelki" (post-Stalin type of buildings, you know the ones, the grey ones that eastern europe is overflowing with. They were meant to be temporary but it seems they're here to stay til they rot). These buildings are ugly and distopian, they always ruin whatever nice scenery you're observing. Oh you have this cool lake area park? Enjoy the butt-ugly buildings on the sides lmao. The only thing holding back their ugliness is the greenery - one thing that Russia certainly has is a LOT of trees everywhere, big trees, so even the dreariest areas will look alright when they're being covered up by 100 foot tall poplar trees. But then comes winter...all the greenery is gone and all the grey ugly shit comes out like a bloody worm during a rainstorm.
At this point you kinda lose any wish to go outside. There's just nothing there, nothing that deserves your attention. Sometimes when it snows it actually is very much magical and the way the frozen trees look is amazing, but once you see the dirt, the ugly buildings, the giant holes in the ground made by lazy-ass companies responsible for fixing central heating, and you just lose any interest, since nothing out there is worth seeing more than the things you'll see on the internet.
TL;DR: Russian winters suck.
Winter isolates you from everyone else. In summer you want to go out, do something, see something. Winter, on the other hand, causes major traversal issues and is just generally cold af. Just going outside becomes a painful experience you don't want to experience. Even going to the supermarket that's literally a 2-3 minute walk away already becomes something you dread. Why? Because you literally cannot walk straight. Going outside in summer is nice because you have no issues walking from point A to point B but in winter it becomes a "spot the ice" game and a "step into the right place so you don't trip or go foot deep into snow" game. Of course, like any game that has painful traversal, it isn't pleasant. Every step becomes a challenge like you're trekking up a mountain, except you now have to add the challenge of cars constantly coming in and out because some dumbass didn't think that a sidewalk would be good for a neighborhood. Walking on soil is also not an option since due to how liquid the snow is by nature, all soil is now mud.
Now, the beauty of winter...that you need to be lucky to see lmao. You might see nice winter scenery when you go out of the city to some extent, but most of the time it looks like shit. I always hated the doomer-culture obsession with the "panelki" (post-Stalin type of buildings, you know the ones, the grey ones that eastern europe is overflowing with. They were meant to be temporary but it seems they're here to stay til they rot). These buildings are ugly and distopian, they always ruin whatever nice scenery you're observing. Oh you have this cool lake area park? Enjoy the butt-ugly buildings on the sides lmao. The only thing holding back their ugliness is the greenery - one thing that Russia certainly has is a LOT of trees everywhere, big trees, so even the dreariest areas will look alright when they're being covered up by 100 foot tall poplar trees. But then comes winter...all the greenery is gone and all the grey ugly shit comes out like a bloody worm during a rainstorm.
At this point you kinda lose any wish to go outside. There's just nothing there, nothing that deserves your attention. Sometimes when it snows it actually is very much magical and the way the frozen trees look is amazing, but once you see the dirt, the ugly buildings, the giant holes in the ground made by lazy-ass companies responsible for fixing central heating, and you just lose any interest, since nothing out there is worth seeing more than the things you'll see on the internet.
TL;DR: Russian winters suck.
Mahek_The_Assassin_Silent_Killer
Any/All- 597
- 309
1: Yeah welp this is why they call Russian winter "General Winter", it was so bad that it ironically helped Russia defend itself from invasions
2: Doubly ironically, Russian troops had the same issue in Finland (but mostly due to neglect of/poor preparation for winter conditions despite their own winters), hence why Simo Hayha, Aarne Juutilainen, etc and the Finnish troops in general did so well
3: That ruins all the dreams of snow games like snowball fights, snow angels, etc in winter for people who live in tropical areas oof
4: Also, mood for India, the poor air quality combined with consistent single digit degrees Celsius in winter seasons can be quite hard to deal with (I go back to Kolkata every end of year to revisit extended family, so I can confirm)
I'm hoping you all find means to earn money and make a living in general (I only recently found a job, hopefully perhaps your families and friends and other loved ones could aid in obtaining means to earn a living like helping in job seeking and stuff).
So with regard to that and living a good life (peace, harmony, equally high respect and equitable rights/privileges for all living beings in all aspects of life, etc) in general, good luck for you both and everyone here.
Hope this year and the following years do not end up being as bad or worse in any scale (from the individual scale to the global or even universal scale) for everyone and everything from this point onwards.
- 1,436
- 1,018
a little too in the specifcs
but i understand your heart, your will has been shared, and thus took a place in my memory forever "staining" my existence with the color of your goodwill, so with my own color, i wish you peace as well, may you never see tragedy for as long as you breath under our sky
whatever you do in space is none if my buisness tho
edit: and the fact that you were the one arguing with me in my i have an ability, let's come up with a weakness i can't bypass using it thread puts a genuine smile in my face, the way you speak...or really type and your names seemed kinda familiar so i checked, seems like you have a lot on your mind mainly stemming from outstanding moral principles a deep rooted desire for altruism and a genuine care for others, severe self awareness, it's heart warming and heart wrenching, but as a guy who experienced similar emotions and toughts, i really wish you put more value to yourself as presumptuous as that sounds, life is inherently selfish, and to find meaning in my hypocrisy, i deemed the lives it takes to sustain my existence simply necessary, we're both victims of existing, and i want to live, survival is the line where ethics begin to blur, it's either me or thembut even so, even if so, using such ane excuse to commit astrocities is something i deem "inhuman", even within the framwork of survial, a "line" needs to be drawn, a line we should never crorss to maintain ourselves, minimum moral standards we should go by, i think you're still defining those lines, and so am i, but at least, at least to honor the beings who died so that you continue to live, give your life more meaning, more value, even if something is sustained by suffering, it doesn't mean it in itself should be a perpetual experience of suffering, even when numerous tragedies continue to happen and while man is drowning in tragedy made by his own will, look at the myrads of existence, acknowledge the suffering that is life, it's inevitable, whatever form we took, to sustain it, the suffering of far too many beings is needed, i hate it, i despise it , the shivering animals awaiting deaths and their screams of terror will forever be imprinted on my mind, but that's it, we should accept everything for that's what we can do, and find the joy, "happiness", as fleeting as it is, is beautiful, mourn, love, cry, laugh, as much as suffering is part of life, so is every single moment shared trough it, we should let everyone who is breathing enjoy the gift of life, and minimize whatever suffering we cause by our existence, the "line" we set so as to reach that goal, so as much as i despise it, i came to find that life is joy, hence we crave it, the reason for my contemplations, and if i may be bold, yours as well, is to share that joy, so that it may never get tainted, to all the predecessors who made me who I am now, to my family, to my friends, to you, and to life itself, I am grateful
i think i babbled just a tad bit too much.....been a while since i let tought roam like this
well, i hope you find something new in these contemplations, i wish you a wonderful day again lol
Last edited:
Mahek_The_Assassin_Silent_Killer
Any/All- 597
- 309
May the tragedies, horrors, and nightmares of our collective past and present never darken or taint the hopes, joy and dreams of our collective future.a little too in the specifcs
but i understand your heart, your will has been shared, and thus took a place in my memory forever "staining" my existence with the color of your goodwill, so with my own color, i wish you peace as well, may you never see tragedy for as long as you breath under our sky
Hopefully we can at some point in time and space make peace with and put the former to rest so we can pursue the latter.
To be fair, in that thread I was initially single-mindedly approaching the thread topic with the mindset of preventing malicious and potentially devastating usage of the abilities + trying to observe if there was a way to stalemate it with paradoxes using the idea of NLF/absolutely limitless potential and power or irreversible non-cancellable negation of any ability.
Also cause said thread topic was extremely liable/prone to devolving/being reduced to having infinitely/limitless layers upon layers of powers, abilities and immunities since you could basically give yourself any and all powers and abilities (or any and all sets/groups of powers and abilities) AND negate the weaknesses of any and all of the self-given powers and abilities by also granting yourself immunity to any and all weaknesses of said powers and abilities which can become incredibly hard to coherently argue against without pulling out paradoxes, fallacies and other insane arguments/attempts to either logically or illogically bypass/circumvent the powers and abilities or exploit potential loopholes.
Eventually realised at the end of it though that trying to directly oppose or come into conflict with such an idea was not a good idea (and to be honest I enjoy these sorts of topics and discussions too but I can see why not everyone is fond of them given the potential complexity and difficulty in keeping the discussion/conversation coherent) + the mindset/approach of trying to fight against it and treat it as a potential means to commit atrocities or cause catastrophes/havoc/chaos was inherently harmful given that the topic/discussion about the abilities, while posed as a challenge/prompt for others to try and counter the ability to grant oneself abilities, never stated that that ability would be used by you to either do good or bad, hence why I decided to try to find a way to ensure that (instead of directly opposing the ability by countering it and coming into conflict with you by extension) all potential usages of the said ability would instead result in a net/overall positive/good outcome for everyone involved including yourself so as to ensure that at the end of the discussion no one would leave with a negative/bad outcome.
As much as it would make sense to desire the chance or ability to obtain power or grow one's influence and value to the world to better help others, I still would rather choose to be either equal or inferior to others but still capable of aiding others in any way or form, mostly to avoid any sense of superiority or arrogance as well as ensure that others and myself will always be able to see eye to eye or converse on equal grounds/standings so as to reinforce peace and harmony.
I also agree that atrocities are inherently irredeemable and unforgivable, but unfortunately we can only go so far as to enforce that view for our own species since we have not found or collectively been able to adopt ways to sustain ourselves in ways that do not bring harm to other living beings (and at the same time the lives of most living beings are built upon the sacrifices of those who passed before them as you have stated yourself).
Ultimately, however, it does seem like humanity, and perhaps all forms of life, can collectively recognise to a degree what we consider good and bad in terms of values/mindsets, world views and actions.
If you observe closely, throughout history, regardless of background or characteristics, we do share similar ideas across regions and cultures.
Altruism (biology) - Wikipedia
Altruism (biology) - Wikipedia
Altruism (biology) - Wikipedia
Altruism (biology) - Wikipedia
Mutualism (biology) - Wikipedia
Commensalism - Wikipedia
Are Animals Altruistic?
Evolutionary biologists determined that an animal’s behaviors are altruistic when they benefit other individuals, even to the potential detriment of themselves.
aqua.org
https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Golde...cisms:~:text=It is possible,the platinum rule.
Virtue - Wikipedia
Vice - Wikipedia
Atrocity crime - Wikipedia
Thus, I still have, and wish to continue having, hope.
Hope that one day we as fellow living beings (not just humanity but all of life) can coexist as equals in terms of respect and with equitable and reasonable rights and privileges given to all depending on their needs without having to inflict suffering and subjugation.
Giannysmag
He/Him- 4,525
- 7,794
I feel you. I recently realised that I really don't have any goals for my future, even getting into uni felt more like a chore or something that I was forced to do, and it makes it really hard to care about anything right now
- 2,141
- 1,996
Same bruh...same
