Chimp VS Chimp (3/6/0)

[First_Witch]

Guess this boxer is a moron? Or how bout this one? Or this one?

... But neither of those linked cases happend between an adult boxer and a armed kid. The first case could have been anything, ranging from the boxer being drunk, being ambushed etc. And the assailant sure as hell wasn't a kid. The second case literally stated that they there were 2 suspects, assuming that both of them are guilty, that puts us in a 2vs1 situation. Only the last one is genuinly about a kid stabing a boxer to death but figure it out: It was an sudden attack with a concealed weapon. You gonna tell me how a chimpanzee is aware of the concept of concealed weaponry before this becomes a valid point.

And like, what stops Ceasar from just... Snatching unused weapons off the arsenal? Chimpanzee has only 2 hands, meaning that a buttload of weapons is going to lay around unused. Assuming only 1 kind of each model, that is still hundreds of unused shit that Ceasar could just take use against it.

Assuming that Ceasar magically cant take any of that stuff for whatever spity reason, they are fighting in a forest. The chimp is weighted down by the whole military gear, while Ceasar has full reign over the tree tops. outmanevour the monkey and use natural weapons like branches as makeshift spears.

This match is hella dumb to be honest, and should be moved to fun & games but with it being a serious debate as rule

 

[joshpiece]

irony or not, you conceded, so it doesnt matter if you dont wanna debate it further, cause you conceded

^

Lol you can be an asshole all u want buddy but you conceded and your arguments are shit.

 

[Armorchompy]

How many more times do you want me to go "yeah sure buddy"? Cause by all means I can go on I just don't see the point of this.

That said, yeah sure buddy

 

[joshpiece]

... But neither of those linked cases happend between an adult boxer and a armed kid. The first case could have been anything, ranging from the boxer being drunk, being ambushed etc. And the assailant sure as hell wasn't a kid. The second case literally stated that they there were 2 suspects, assuming that both of them are guilty, that puts us in a 2vs1 situation. Only the last one is genuinly about a kid stabing a boxer to death but figure it out: It was an sudden attack with a concealed weapon. You gonna tell me how a chimpanzee is aware of the concept of concealed weaponry before this becomes a valid point.

I was just proving a regular person with no known combat experience could stab and kill a skilled martial artist.

And like, what stops Ceasar from just... Snatching unused weapons off the arsenal? Chimpanzee has only 2 hands, meaning that a buttload of weapons is going to lay around unused. Assuming only 1 kind of each model, that is still hundreds of unused shit that Ceasar could just take use against it.

Who said that the unused weapons were just gonna be laying on the ground? That’s literally not in the op at all?

they are fighting in a forest. The chimp is weighted down by the whole military gear, while Ceasar has full reign over the tree tops. outmanevour the monkey and use natural weapons like branches as makeshift spears.

Vaild win con. The regular monkey still kills him with an rpg or slices him with a machete tho

This match is hella dumb tbh

true but it’s funny and definitely not a “skill stomp” by any means.

 

[joshpiece]

How many more times do you want me to go "yeah sure buddy"? Cause by all means I can go on I just don't see the point of this.

That said, yeah sure buddy

Dude just **** off? If u don’t wanna debate just unfollow the thread nobody’s making u do anything.

 

[First_Witch]

The problem with that argument is that, like i have established above, those were not fair 1vs1's but ambushes, concealed weapon attacks or gang up attacks. If you put your average adult man with a knife against your average adult man but he boxes in a clear 1 vs 1 situation, the boxer will win significally more often, compared to him getting ambushed by multiple guys. Vs threads are such 1 vs 1 conditions, so pointing out that technically, 4 year olds killed their parents by playing around with their sharp glock, while sadly true, is not really relevant to the discussion at hand.

Obviously it isnt stated in the op, but the op didnt state many things. Like how is the Chimp switching between weapons and gear? Do they just vanish when he tosses them away? Do they materalise when the chimp grabs into the air? etc.

A Chimp with no military training has the same chance to kill himself with an rpg as he has to kill Ceasar with and a knife isn't more advantageous than a spear. Not only that, a spear is faaar easier to use properly than a knife/sword/axe whatever he currently holds

 

[joshpiece]

The problem with that argument is that, like i have established above, those were not fair 1vs1's but ambushes, concealed weapon attacks or gang up attacks. If you put your average adult man with a knife against your average adult man but he boxes in a clear 1 vs 1 situation, the boxer will win significally more often. Vs threads are such 1 vs 1 conditions, so pointing out that technically, 4 year olds killed their parents by playing around with their sharp glock, while sadly true, is not really relevant to the discussion at hand.

Not true… at all do you think boxers are super human? If you even trained a little bit you would understand that if a person has a weapon on you just do what they say and don’t fight back. Even masters at martial arts treat this as law.

Obviously it isnt stated in the op, but the op didnt state many things. Like how is the Chimp switching between weapons and gear? Do they just vanish when he tosses them away? Do they materalise when the chimp grabs into the air? etc.

I’m assuming it’s like different scenarios and you just put the armor on the chimp or give him his weapon at the start of each fight.

A Chimp with no military training has the same chance to kill himself with an rpg as he has to kill Ceasar with and a knife isn't more advantageous than a spear. Not only that, a spear is faaar easier to use properly than a knife/sword/axe whatever he currently holds

So your telling me there’s a chance

lol but your assuming ceaser has a spear in the first place. If we give a chimp light armor and a machete he would run after ceaser and stab him before he makes a spear.

 

[joshpiece]

You give an average male a baseball bat and he kills a skilled martial artist. You give a man a machete and he still kills a skilled martial artist. This isn’t fiction we are talking about you don’t just skill stomp other humans who have weapons.

 

[First_Witch]

The reason for that is because most of the time its not worth putting up a fight. Throwing the assailant your wallet is far cheaper than potentially losing limbs or worse, your life. Put them in a 1vs1 situation and tell them they have to fight to the death no ifs and buts, the situation changes dramatically.

BuT THaT's LiteRaLly NOt sTaTed IN ThE OP at ALl thats how you sound. Just kidding, your assumption is as valid as mine.

Like i said, Ceasar is naked compared to the Chimp. He is thus more agile and a little bit faster than the chimp. Outrun him, use tree top superioty, living out your wildess vietcong dreams, break sturdy branch off of a tree while you run and nibble at it to make it pointy. Im not saying that the chimp is gonna be slowed as heck by his gear, but he sure as hell wont archive the same speed as ceasars nakedness.

Kinda misguided considering that Ceasar is literally fictional.

 

[First_Witch]

By the way, for the record: I honestly coudnt care less how this goes down, as i care for neither of the monkeys in this thread. Armorchompy is right in that this thread is a invalid and thus should not be in the versus threads section but in the fun and game section. Politly request a thread move and do memey and unserious matchups in the f&g section in the future.

 

[joshpiece]

The reason for that is because most of the time its not worth putting up a fight. Throwing the assailant your wallet is far cheaper than potentially losing limbs or worse, your life. Put them in a 1vs1 situation and tell them they have to fight to the death no ifs and buts, the situation changes dramatically.

The situation doesn’t really change it will only take 1 good strike with a machete to incapacitate somebody and kill them.

BuT THaT's LiteRaLly NOt sTaTed IN ThE OP at ALl thats how you sound. Just kidding, your assumption is as valid as mine.

lol love a good bit of trolling yeah I mean we both assuming stuff I don’t really know what the monkey had in mind.

Like i said, Ceasar is naked compared to the Chimp. He is thus more agile and a little bit faster than the chimp. Outrun him, use tree top superioty, living out your wildess vietcong dreams, break sturdy branch off of a tree while you run and nibble at it to make it pointy. Im not saying that the chimp is gonna be slowed as heck by his gear, but he sure as hell wont archive the same speed as ceasars nakedness.

But I don’t think this would be ceasers first instinct. And the end of that situation it is a spear vs machete. So both still have vaild win cons especially if we give the chimp armor to lessen the damage from the spear.

Kinda misguided considering that Ceasar is literally fictional.

That was more so to the martial artist point not necessarily ceaser.

 

[joshpiece]

By the way, for the record: I honestly coudnt care less how this goes down, as i care for neither of the monkeys in this thread. Armorchompy is right in that this thread is a invalid and thus should not be in the versus threads section but in the fun and game section. Politly request a thread move and do memey and unserious matchups in the f&g section in the future.

Yes I already said we can move it to f&g section. I’m not taking this super seriously. I just hard disagree that it’s a skill stomp especially when both of them have vaild win cons.

I could care less about who wins but closing the thread b4 anybody can argue against you is annoying

 

[First_Witch]

It does changes because your life now depends on it. The same can be said for the boxer, a good jab towards the nose can knock most people out cold, and jabs are generally easier and faster than aimed knife strikes.

It most definitly should be Ceasars first instinct, didn't he fought armed human forces? And medieval weapon specialist agree that a spear beats out swords due to their far simpler win condition and reach. I doubt a machete will fair better

The reason this was closed is because mods saw an invalid matchup in the Versus thread section. Its like dicking around in a ranked match, if you have played online game with ranked systems. Impress has only done her job, she could have done a better one by just moving it to fun and games but she has done her job nothenless.

 

[joshpiece]

The reason this was closed is because mods saw an invalid matchup in the Versus thread section

No literally wrong they said closing cus it’s a skill stomp. That’s not “doing your job” it’s being a dick head and being wrong. I’m not arguing this any further that’s my opinion and your not going to change it.

It does changes because your life now depends on it. The same can be said for the boxer, a good jab towards the nose can knock most people out cold, and jabs are generally easier and faster than aimed knife strikes.

this point is irrelevant I’m not arguing martial arts with you anymore. A jab rarely knocks people out if you actually followed boxing you would know this…

It most definitly should be Ceasars first instinct, didn't he fought armed human forces? And medieval weapon specialist agree that a spear beats out swords due to their far simpler win condition and reach. I doubt a machete will fair better

A machete while covered in protective gear would fair better than a spear. Especially if the spear is semi blunt bc he can’t make an insanely sharp spear with his teeth.

 

[First_Witch]

Youre right, knockout was the wrong word. A jab to the nose can throw people down, which would be enough to pin and disarm but i digress.

It depends on what kind of protective gear we are talking about. Actually, why is armor included in the first place? Monkey only linked the weapons section of the military wiki

 

[joshpiece]

You can give the normal chimpanzee any military weapon/gear you can find on Earth

^

 

[First_Witch]

I mean scratch armor, going by what the OP has linked in the thread, Chimps are getting autonomous gun bots and drones

 

[First_Witch]

^

But if you actually click on the link he provides, its literally the weapons section.

 

[joshpiece]

Youre right, knockout was the wrong word. A jab to the nose can throw people down, which would be enough to pin and disarm but i digress.

Still incredibly rare and by striking first you put yourself in a much worse predicament by being close enough to get stabbed or slashed by the machete. The only chance you would have is to avoid the first strike and try to counter and even then that’s a death with.

But if you actually click on the link he provides, its literally the weapons section.

yeah I understand I just sent that to show why we give him armor

 

[First_Witch]

yeah I understand I just sent that to show why we give him armor

Unless the english language has changed, armor shoudnt be included when we talk about weapons, but thats irellevant. All the skill and experience advantage is mood considering that Chimpanzee has dozens of military drones capable of autonomous attacking.

 

[joshpiece]

All the skill and experience advantage is mood considering that Chimpanzee has dozens of military drones capable of autonomous attacking.

So it’s a stomp in favor of the regular chimp.

I’ll take that

 

[First_Witch]

Chimpanzee stomps via autonomous sentry guns and predator air strikes, truly the greatest of debates unfolded here.

 

[joshpiece]

 

[First_Witch]

So, can we close this thread now and agree to never bring this fustercluck up ever again?

 

[joshpiece]

Watch out for the gorilla vs gorilla thread.

You underestimate Monkey

 

[Antvasima]

Lol you can be an asshole all u want buddy but you conceded and your arguments are shit.

Dude just **** off? If u don’t wanna debate just unfollow the thread nobody’s making u do anything.

You need to avoid being rude to others if you want to be a part of this community, especially our staff. Consider this as a warning.

 

[joshpiece]

I’m not going to be nice to a guy who is going blatantly sarcastic and rude.

He’s the one who instigated this I’m not going to be respectful to a person who isn’t respectful to me.

especially our staff.

Staff should be held to a higher standard and not act like little children who have to get the last word. Where is his warning for acting like an immature child and being rude?

If you actually read the thread I tried to be nice and he kept going with the sarcastic and rude remarks.

 

[joshpiece]

I’m not going to get picked on and not say anything because the person is staff. Assholes get treated like assholes, nice people get treated like nice people.

look at my conversation with @First_Witch they were respectful so I was respectful I don’t instigate conflict.

 

[Armorchompy]

I'm not gonna deny I was too aggressive, but in no way were you nice either. I don't think the warning was particularly deserved, though.

 

[Antvasima]

Okay. Never mind about the warning then, but our rules explicitly state that if somebody behaves badly, this is not an excuse for behaving even worse in return. We should all at least try to strive for maintaining a polite and friendly environment.

 

[Armorchompy]

Yeah nice try but nope. Monkeys can use basic tools if you bothered to research even a lil bit. A group of monkeys even crafted spears and used them to hunt. If they are capable of using spears why couldn’t they kill ceaser with a machete or shit even a Bowie knife. It’s not like he’s a master martial artist. He’s a ******* Chimp who has the intelligence of a human… CHIMPS HAVE KILLED HUMANS BEFORE

Don't exactly think this was a particularly nice entrance though

 

[joshpiece]

Don't exactly think this was a particularly nice entrance though

Dude can you just not… I even said if you think ceaser wins that’s fine but it’s definitely not a skill stomp.

Why can’t you just drop something you have to have the last word good lord

 

[Armorchompy]

You accused me of starting the argument, why would I not respond to that?

 

[joshpiece]

If you being aggressive is coming from me saying this isn’t a skill stomp and listing the reasons why then maybe just don’t partake in the match.

You even conceded and still kept on going being sarcastic and insulting me.

You accused me of starting the argument, why would I not respond to that?

Never did I say you started the argument. I said you instigated the rude and disrespectful behavior.

I’m not going to respond anymore, I’m going to drop it I’ll take the warning.

Dude drop it you were being an asshole and you still are

 

[Armorchompy]

How is "I don't care to debate this" a concession? Why do you equate me not wanting to debate something to automatically saying you were right? That's what ticks me off. The "you win" was just a sarcastic remark (probably not necessary, i'll give you that), it annoyed me that you'd take that seriously.

 

[Antvasima]

Can both of you try to be nice to each other please? This is not a very serious subject.

 

[Armorchompy]

Fair enough

 

[Antvasima]

Thank you. I will unsubscribe from this thread then.

 

[Armorchompy]

likewise

 

[MonkeyOfLife]

I mean scratch armor, going by what the OP has linked in the thread, Chimps are getting autonomous gun bots and drones

That's not gear or equipment... Plus how will a chimp know how to use a drone or a autogun bot?

And like, what stops Ceasar from just... Snatching unused weapons off the arsenal? Chimpanzee has only 2 hands, meaning that a buttload of weapons is going to lay around unused. Assuming only 1 kind of each model, that is still hundreds of unused shit that Ceasar could just take use against it.

You can give him every military gear and equipment.... 1 armor 1 weapon (if you want the chimp to use more than Caesar can steal weapons but Caesar would need to get close which would be dangerous)

as i care for neither of the monkeys in this thread

If you put your average adult man with a knife against your average adult man but he boxes in a clear 1 vs 1 situation, the boxer will win significally more often

Are you being serious? An average adult man with a knife against the best boxer is = the best boxer running away.... in a 1v1 8/10 the average guy with a knife wins...

Unless the english language has changed, armor shoudnt be included when we talk about weapons

Isn't gear, armor? what I say is more valid than what I link.... I said every military gear/equipment on earth.... Do you want me to list 10000 links?

But if you actually click on the link he provides, its literally the weapons section.

This chimp can use gear that stops bullets... Even if Ceasar takes chimps weapon which might kill him if he tries... He has no chance damaging or piercing the armor but Caesar is high in intelligence so he can find weaknesses or make openings (which is still very risky)