The worst martial arts fight: Velma versus Glass Joe

[The_King_of_Prudence]

Speed equalised, 1987 Joe.

Another Velma:

The worst one: 7 (MintyBoi1, Eden_Warlock99, OrangeFR, Ebihara, LegendariumOfLies, DragonZeroNova, AThe1412)

Inconclusive:

 

[Arkansalter2]

87 or 09 Joe?

 

[The_King_of_Prudence]

The stronger one. They're basically the same, anyway.

 

[AThe1412]

Joe blitzes.

 

[MintyBoi1]

I think at least some boxing knowledge is better than Velma’s self defense. Going for Glass Joe

 

[Eden_Warlock99]

I think at least some boxing knowledge is better than Velma’s self defense. Going for Glass Joe

He has a W/L record of 1/100 and that one win was due to a "freak accident"

Really skill doesn't really matter in this fight much, so it'd just go to Joe via his x3 AP advantage and better stamina.

 

[Ebihara]

ill vote joe. velma has baiscally no skill feats even compared to joe. and joes ap advantage.

 

[Arkansalter2]

Again, like I bring up in every other thread, Velma is the worst user in martial arts according to VSBW.
Going with Joe low diff lol.
If I was 9-B, even I'd slam her.

 

[AThe1412]

Joe FRA assuming speed is equalized. From what I've seen in other matches, his strategy is just constantly blocking until his opponent tires out trying to get through his defense than switch to super aggressive offense. Velma has Below Average stamina so she's kind of cooked.

Again, like I bring up in every other thread, Velma is the worst user in martial arts according to VSBW.

1. You mean according to a Fun & Games thread?
2. Check the list again. Her spot got taken by Joe, though I'll try to get her placed back in.

 

[Greatsage13th]

I'll vote Joe.

 

[Random-Helper323]

He has a W/L record of 1/100 and that one win was due to a "freak accident"

Who were his opponents? If you fight Mike Tyson and Muhammad Ali 50 times and have 50 losses, it's not worse than having a 100% win rate against normal school students.

 

[Arkansalter2]

Who were his opponents?

We don't know. All the game(s) say that his record is 1/100.
Granted, his name is Glass Joe, which comes from the term "Glass Jaw", which basically means a vulnerability where a boxer can easily be knocked out via a hard blow to the chin or jaw.
So that's probably why he got that record, just getting clocked in his mouth.

 

[Random-Helper323]

We don't know. All the game(s) say that his record is 1/100.

Who would normally be fighting in such fights though? Is it a pro boxing thing? World champion stuff? Where is he competing?

Granted, his name is Glass Joe, which comes from the term "Glass Jaw", which basically means a vulnerability where a boxer can easily be knocked out via a hard blow to the chin or jaw.
So that's probably why he got that record, just getting clocked in his mouth.

That's an AP gap more than skill.

 

[Arkansalter2]

Who would normally be fighting in such fights though? Is it a pro boxing thing? World champion stuff? Where is he competing?

It's not at all amateur boxing, rather it's World Video Boxing Association (which is the game's version of the World Boxing Association). So it's just your average boxing matches.

 

[Random-Helper323]

It's not at all amateur boxing, rather it's World Video Boxing Association (which is the game's version of the World Boxing Association). So it's just your average boxing matches.

So his 100% loss rate is against serious boxers, if not professional ones? If he's even trained in boxing for real, I'd probably still place that over women's self-defense classes. Those classes typically use moves that only work if the attacker lets them.

 

[DaReaperMan]

It's not at all amateur boxing, rather it's World Video Boxing Association (which is the game's version of the World Boxing Association). So it's just your average boxing matches.

This association also allows people to kick you, people who use literal staves, people who put horseshoes into their boxing gloves, people who use literal fails, people who spit in your eye and make you see in mote 7...

 

[The_King_of_Prudence]

Worth mentioning that Velma is stronger (45K to 26K).

 

[DaReaperMan]

Worth mentioning that Velma is stronger (45K to 26K).

But at the same time, her fighting style is worse than even basic boxing. One good punch to the jaw...

 

[The_King_of_Prudence]

Joe's faster, is it to the point of a stomp?

 

[Kellex]

Joe's faster, is it to the point of a stomp?

Velma's speed: 5 - 7.7 m/s
Joe's speed: <87.9675 m/s

Yes

 

[Eden_Warlock99]

Worth mentioning that Velma is stronger (45K to 26K).

Ain't this Wii Glass Joe?

 

[The_King_of_Prudence]

Ain't this Wii Glass Joe?

Oh, missed that.

Velma's speed: 5 - 7.7 m/s
Joe's speed: <87.9675 m/s

Yes

I'll equalise.

 

[OrangeFR]

Going w/ Joe because of much better stamina. AP diff isn’t enough for a stomp, so in a relatively drawn out fight Joe should take it.

 

[Ebihara]

i voted joe, please count that.

 

[LegendariumOfLies]

Joe is an actual fighter that has canonically won one match - against Prime Mike Tyson allegedly - and he can take hits for Mac. Little Joe low diff.

 

[DragoZeroNova]

Since you said we're using the stronger Joe, I'm assuming we're using Wii Joe

Joe downscales from, wait for it, 599,300 J/599.3 KJ (Joe downscales from Mac who either scales or downscales from Sandman. The ~115,000J is from Don Flamenco's calc, which is way lower). Meanwhile, Velma is at 45,089 J/45.089 KJ.

This is an approximately 13.2915x AP/Durability/SS gap in favour of Joe, though you could probably argue it down to just 13x or somewhat lower cause he's not that strong.

He also holds a massive stamina advantage, less character flaws, better equipment (his is standard while Velma doesn't have her hockey stick (not that it would change much) and relative, if not better skill.

Velma's only real advantage is her wrestling skills combined with an LS advantage, but that won't save her in this fight.

Now, I don't know if this is a stomp or not, but Joe absolutely wins this. If it is a stomp, changing him into the weaker version would make this closer to a mid diff win for Joe (imo), as he would lose his AP advantage. I'm not sure giving Velma her hockey would mean much, but you could do that too.

 

[The_King_of_Prudence]

I'd really like a way to turn off the animations, or at least the dropdown when you edit a comment.

 

[The_King_of_Prudence]

Bump?

 

[The_King_of_Prudence]

Should I change it to the weaker one?

 

[AThe1412]

Since you said we're using the stronger Joe, I'm assuming we're using Wii Joe

Joe downscales from, wait for it, 599,300 J/599.3 KJ (Joe downscales from Mac who either scales or downscales from Sandman. The ~115,000J is from Don Flamenco's calc, which is way lower). Meanwhile, Velma is at 45,089 J/45.089 KJ.

This is an approximately 13.2915x AP/Durability/SS gap in favour of Joe, though you could probably argue it down to just 13x or somewhat lower cause he's not that strong.

He also holds a massive stamina advantage, less character flaws, better equipment (his is standard while Velma doesn't have her hockey stick (not that it would change much) and relative, if not better skill.

Velma's only real advantage is her wrestling skills combined with an LS advantage, but that won't save her in this fight.

Now, I don't know if this is a stomp or not, but Joe absolutely wins this. If it is a stomp, changing him into the weaker version would make this closer to a mid diff win for Joe (imo), as he would lose his AP advantage. I'm not sure giving Velma her hockey would mean much, but you could do that too.

He definitely doesn't scale to Sandman in any way. Even assuming Joe downscales from Don is a generous assumption when he can be oneshotted by stuff that the latter would shrug off.

Should I change it to the weaker one?

The 2009 Joe wouldn't be a stomp like the other dude said, but it wouldn't matter either way. 1987 Joe still wins because Velma has abysmal stamina and worse fighting skill than basic boxing.

 

[DragoZeroNova]

He definitely doesn't scale to Sandman in any way. Even assuming Joe downscales from Don is a generous assumption when he can be oneshotted by stuff that the latter would shrug off.

The 2009 Joe wouldn't be a stomp like the other dude said, but it wouldn't matter either way. 1987 Joe still wins because Velma has abysmal stamina and worse fighting skill than basic boxing.

Mac's profile justification is that he scales to Sandman and Don. You'd have to make a CRT to remove that.

 

[AThe1412]

Mac's profile justification is that he scales to Sandman and Don. You'd have to make a CRT to remove that.

What does Mac have to do with this? We're talking about Joe. Are we legit scaling a guy, who has never won an actual fight in his entire career (his 1 win was a freak accident), to the champions of the World Circuit and Major Circuit respectively?

 

[DragoZeroNova]

What does Mac have to do with this? We're talking about Joe. Are we legit scaling a guy, who has never won an actual fight in his entire career (his 1 win was a freak accident), to the champions of the World Circuit and Major Circuit respectively?

I mixed up my characters (forgot which vs thread this was), my bad. Same sentiment though, you'd need a CRT to change that.

I see it's now 1987 Joe, who imo still wins, though he only has 25.80717 KJ.
If there's worry about this rating, same thing as before, fix it with a CRT.

 

[Nonynho]

Glass Joe FRA

 

[The_King_of_Prudence]

What does Mac have to do with this? We're talking about Joe. Are we legit scaling a guy, who has never won an actual fight in his entire career (his 1 win was a freak accident), to the champions of the World Circuit and Major Circuit respectively?

Joe can hurt Mac if Little lets him.

 

[AThe1412]

Joe can hurt Mac if Little lets him.

Yeah, IF he lets him.



It's so difficult to lose to Glass Joe unintentionally that the game has a challenge that requires you to throw a match against him.

 

[Ebihara]

the bar to be the worst fighter in a leauge that hosts the best fighters in the world, some of which are basically ******* magic is ALOT higher then being trained in womens self defense class.

 

[LegendariumOfLies]

the bar to be the worst fighter in a leauge that hosts the best fighters in the world, some of which are basically ******* magic is ALOT higher then being trained in womens self defense class.

She didn't even pass if I remember correctly which is shocking because apparently most Self Defense classes are confidence building bullshit

 

[LegendariumOfLies]

I think we need to put something in context.
Glass Joe is only shit in combat when it comes Superhuman Boxer who can teleport, break down buildings, or launch bulls into the atmosphere.
Velma is shit against Teenagers who have been taking Self Defense classes for like a week.

 

[AThe1412]

Joe FRA if I didn't make it clear.

I think we need to put something in context.
Glass Joe is only shit in combat when it comes Superhuman Boxer who can teleport, break down buildings, or launch bulls into the atmosphere.
Velma is shit against Teenagers who have been taking Self Defense classes for like a week.

Now you're making me wish I hadn't nominated him for worst Martial Arts. At least I can use this match to get him out of it.