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Keep in mind that it was past 1:20 AM when I started writing this, so I'm trying my best to remain coherent while also half asleep.
A lot of you have probably noticed a significant drop off in my activity in the past few weeks. For a while, I've basically become a ghost. At least, if you only keep in touch with me through the wiki. This is due to a couple of factors. Nothing terrible or dramatic, but I figured I might as well explain myself.
The first aspect is my personal life. My birthday was two days ago, and I've been constantly thinking about how to move forward. I'm trying to figure out how I want to continue with my higher education, and the work that I'm actively pursuing isn't exactly the most stable when you've just started to dip your toes into the water. On top of that, I've been making an effort to better myself, as it's ultimately a major goal of mine to put as little burden on the important people in my life as possible. Being able to help when they need it while also being self-sustaining. That sort of thing. It takes time, and time is important. Whenever I interact with the wiki, even when my comments are fewer during a particular day, I end up using a lot of time for things dedicated to the site, both on and off of it. I just haven't had as much time, nor as much clear and focused thought, to direct towards the wiki.
But that's just part of the issue.
The other, and arguably more noticeable to me, is a steep drop in enthusiasm. The more I tried to convince myself to be active, the less I became interested in, well, anything. Trying to force myself to participate in discussions, I often couldn't come up with anything but a "sure" or "no", regardless of how much I agreed or disagreed with what was being said. I just didn't care, and debate on many subjects had gone from something I found genuinely engaging to being a complete chore. It all felt futile, due to the impermanence of any change I could pass or prevent. That killed my interest in coming back in a way that truly hadn't happened, before.
Having had the luxury of some time to mull it over, I eventually came to a conclusion.
For anyone who bothered to read this, the important part is coming up.
I'm not leaving the site. As dumb and corny as it may sound, I've met some truly fantastic people here, which has led to conversations that have enriched both my mood and other aspects of my life. What I believe I need is rest. Pushing myself on these sorts of things has a tendency to lead to complete and utter burnout, which is something I would prefer not to happen. So I'm still here, and will try to pop on every now and again, but I don't know how often or in what I'll actually participate. Ideally, I'd like to gradually build my enthusiasm back up to its former heights, but I'm not sure how long that will take.
I'll still be around, and if my opinion is deemed absolutely necessary on a certain topic, then I'll do my best to put as much thought into it as I can.
To anyone I've promised opinions on for certain topics before this point, I will try to get to them as soon as I am able, but I do deeply apologize for the delay.
To anyone who wants my input on something else, I'm not saying I 100% won't be able to help, but please understand I'm not in the best place to deal with a multitude of threads in which I often have minimal interest, and my opinion on such threads thus often wouldn't be of as much merit, anyway.
To anyone who would like to keep in touch outside of the site, you're more than welcome to talk to me on Discord, where I'll try to be less reclusive and more honest. Shoot me a PM if you need my name on there, or whatever.
Was that all clear enough? Did I make enough sense to anyone but myself?
Hell if I know, but this site has always been something I partook in for the sake of enjoyment, and I'd like to get that enjoyment back. Hope everyone understands, but even if not, you're all still great.
Lots of love from your friendly neighborhood tentacle monster, Azathoth.
A lot of you have probably noticed a significant drop off in my activity in the past few weeks. For a while, I've basically become a ghost. At least, if you only keep in touch with me through the wiki. This is due to a couple of factors. Nothing terrible or dramatic, but I figured I might as well explain myself.
The first aspect is my personal life. My birthday was two days ago, and I've been constantly thinking about how to move forward. I'm trying to figure out how I want to continue with my higher education, and the work that I'm actively pursuing isn't exactly the most stable when you've just started to dip your toes into the water. On top of that, I've been making an effort to better myself, as it's ultimately a major goal of mine to put as little burden on the important people in my life as possible. Being able to help when they need it while also being self-sustaining. That sort of thing. It takes time, and time is important. Whenever I interact with the wiki, even when my comments are fewer during a particular day, I end up using a lot of time for things dedicated to the site, both on and off of it. I just haven't had as much time, nor as much clear and focused thought, to direct towards the wiki.
But that's just part of the issue.
The other, and arguably more noticeable to me, is a steep drop in enthusiasm. The more I tried to convince myself to be active, the less I became interested in, well, anything. Trying to force myself to participate in discussions, I often couldn't come up with anything but a "sure" or "no", regardless of how much I agreed or disagreed with what was being said. I just didn't care, and debate on many subjects had gone from something I found genuinely engaging to being a complete chore. It all felt futile, due to the impermanence of any change I could pass or prevent. That killed my interest in coming back in a way that truly hadn't happened, before.
Having had the luxury of some time to mull it over, I eventually came to a conclusion.
For anyone who bothered to read this, the important part is coming up.
I'm not leaving the site. As dumb and corny as it may sound, I've met some truly fantastic people here, which has led to conversations that have enriched both my mood and other aspects of my life. What I believe I need is rest. Pushing myself on these sorts of things has a tendency to lead to complete and utter burnout, which is something I would prefer not to happen. So I'm still here, and will try to pop on every now and again, but I don't know how often or in what I'll actually participate. Ideally, I'd like to gradually build my enthusiasm back up to its former heights, but I'm not sure how long that will take.
I'll still be around, and if my opinion is deemed absolutely necessary on a certain topic, then I'll do my best to put as much thought into it as I can.
To anyone I've promised opinions on for certain topics before this point, I will try to get to them as soon as I am able, but I do deeply apologize for the delay.
To anyone who wants my input on something else, I'm not saying I 100% won't be able to help, but please understand I'm not in the best place to deal with a multitude of threads in which I often have minimal interest, and my opinion on such threads thus often wouldn't be of as much merit, anyway.
To anyone who would like to keep in touch outside of the site, you're more than welcome to talk to me on Discord, where I'll try to be less reclusive and more honest. Shoot me a PM if you need my name on there, or whatever.
Was that all clear enough? Did I make enough sense to anyone but myself?
Hell if I know, but this site has always been something I partook in for the sake of enjoyment, and I'd like to get that enjoyment back. Hope everyone understands, but even if not, you're all still great.
Lots of love from your friendly neighborhood tentacle monster, Azathoth.
, I just can't find the topics where I'd like to contribute because I have no verses I'm knowledgeable of.
