• This forum is strictly intended to be used by members of the VS Battles wiki. Please only register if you have an autoconfirmed account there, as otherwise your registration will be rejected. If you have already registered once, do not do so again, and contact Antvasima if you encounter any problems.

    For instructions regarding the exact procedure to sign up to this forum, please click here.
  • We need Patreon donations for this forum to have all of its running costs financially secured.

    Community members who help us out will receive badges that give them several different benefits, including the removal of all advertisements in this forum, but donations from non-members are also extremely appreciated.

    Please click here for further information, or here to directly visit our Patreon donations page.
  • Please click here for information about a large petition to help children in need.

FTL in the Marioverse.

Okay, look, so naturally fiction being what it is we can't try to make sense of everything. Some characters like The Flash are explicitly able to run faster than light, logic and physics be damned. But there are so. many. characters that have speeds listed as "FTL" or "Massively FTL" for the flimsiest of reasons and I have some major gripes about this, since to anyone with even a passable respect for the laws of physics accelerating to FTL through mundane means (characters who can make portals, bend space, or explicitly have powers that allow them to ignore the laws of physics excluded) is basically a "hax" power that should be handled with extreme caution.

Example: Mario is considered Massively FTL. The justification for this is that he can react when being fired "between planets" out of a Launch Star, can react to the Koopa Clown Car, which can fly "between galaxies", and can dodge punches from Bowser, who can hit Starship Mario, which can fly "across the universe". This ignores a far, far simpler explanation:

The "planets" and "galaxies" in the Marioverse, particularly in the SMG series are not remotely comparable to real-life planets or galaxies. They are very, very obviously far smaller and much closer together. Are we also to estimate Mario's height by comparing him to these tiny planets, assume that they are actually the size of real-life planets, and thereby conclude that Mario is hundreds of kilometers tall? Because that's what this kind of logic would conclude. If the size of galaxies in SMG are what they appear to be - tiny mini-systems floating in a weird Mario space - nothing in these games is moving faster than light.

Even supposing that the Koopa Clown Car or Starship Mario ca move faster than light, we can't and shouldn't assume that they are always moving faster than light. Sci-fi spaceships generally have warp drives which are not "always on", especially not when they are in combat. If we try to argue that when Mario is fighting Bowser in his Koopa Clown Car both of them are actually moving at superluminal velocity and we are watching the fight at hyperspeed (because that's what this is saying) we run into even more problems. Why does gravity pull on Mario the same as it always does? Is the Mushroom Kingdom actually a black hole and is always pulling him down at near-light speed?

This kind of calc stacking logic is found all over the place (if it has ever hit something or moved at the speed of something that can move faster than light, it must be able to move faster than light itself!) and it causes FTL designations to spread like a disease. Since Mario is "faster than light", anyone who can keep up with him is also "faster than light", including Peach and Bowser.

The same goes for many other characters who live in cartoony universes and fly between planets that are clearly nothing like real-life planets. I'm looking at you, Kirby.
 
Back
Top