- 3,732
- 895
NOTE: Just so you know, I'm not a DC fanboy hating on Marvel. To me, there isn't any Marvel vs DC. They're both good and they're both shitty (and lately they've both been shitty). And DC has plenty of overrated characters like Batman. It really ticks me off how all these popular characters are treated like the greatest characters of all time, when the "generic" ones like Captain America and Superman are actually MUCH BETTER. Anyway moving on...
Cable
Get used to seeing the name Rob Liefeld on this list. The one-time Levis commercial star and world-renowned worst comic artist in history teamed by with Louis Simonson is March 1990 to create a character that embodies everything that sucked about comic books in the 90's. Glowing eye? Check. Giant shoulder pads? Check. Cybernetic limb? Check. Ridiculously huge guns? Check. Superfluous belt and thigh pouches? Check. Convoluted origin? Oh my God, check.
The only thing more ludicrous than Cable's physical appearance, is his absolutely insane, paradox-riddled existence, which involves cloning, enough time travel to make Doc Brown look like a rank amateur, and - because this was the 90's, and anything "techno" or "cyber" was totally rad - Cable was born with a "techno-organic" virus that threatened to kill him.
Cable has spent the last 25 years time-hopping around the universe, repeatedly failing at the three things he basically exists to do: control/cure his techno-organic virus, rid the world of the villain Apocalypse, and protect the Mutant Messiah, Hope. The virus keeps consuming and/or killing him (don't ask, just go with it), Apocalypse still pops up to do...whatever it is he does, and if my research is accurate, he most recently got his ass handed to him by the Avengers while failing to protect Hope yet again, leaving her in the middle of a war and about to be gobbled up by the Phoenix Force. Nice job, asshat.
Venom
Venom has amassed a legion of rabid fans based solely on the fact that he...looks kinda cool? That really is the main issue with Venom. He's not a character, he's just a visually striking design.
Venom started out when Spidey traveled to Battle-World in the 80's during Secret Wars. As an alien symbiote that attached to Peter and created his spiffy black costume. Soon, Spidey was acting strangely, realising that the symbiote was basically feeding off him. Spidey used church bells and fire to rid himself of the symbiote, which later found another host in Eddie Brock, a disgraced reporter with a pro-wrestling physique and a serious mad-on for Spiderman. Together, Brock and the symbiote form Venom, and set out to make Spider-Man's life a living hell in a couple of truly classic stories.
The problem with Venom is that he was never meant to be anything more than a TEMPORARY antagonist to Spider-Man. But when the initial Symbiote Saga storyline exploded and resonated with fans, Marvel saw dollar signs and decided to keep bringing back Venom over and over again, telling the same story repeatedly because Brock's character was so thin (kinda like Doomsday). When the Spidey vs Venom conflict lost its potential, Marvel turned him into an anti-hero and spun him off into countless other series, all of which were absolute SHIT.
Gambit
Hey bro, sweet trench coat. Remember when those were cool for like, SIX MONTHS in the mid-90's? Now the only people who wear them are subway flashers and fat teenagers who read R.A. Salvatore dark elf novels and listen to a lot of Type O Negative.
Gambit here is undoubtedly one of the most overrated X-Men of all time (Wolverine stills holds the title). He's got all the prerequisite qualities of an abysmal 90's creation: a mysterious, convoluted past involving Mr. Sinister (that guy's ridiculousness can fill an entire post on his own), a horribly designed costume with one of those goofy and unnecessary headpieces that allowed his super-cool 90's bangs to hang over his black and red eyes [OH MY GOD GAMBIT IS SO RAD, LOOK AT THOSE BLACK AND RED EYES], a "totally extreme bro!" Mutant power that allowed him to charge objects with kinetic energy, which he used solely on playing cards - because he's a gambler, you see, Mon Ami?
Also, whenever Gambit is featured heavily in a story, readers are subjected to page after page of irritating phonetic Cajun dialog like this: "HELLO DERE MON CHERE, I AM DE RAGIN CAJUN, AND I GAH-RUN-TEE DAT YOU ARE DE HOTTEST T'ING SINCE MY GRANDADDY'S CRAB JAMBALAYA OH HO HO HO!!" Ugh. It's been over 25 years of this, dude. Please just shut the hell up.
Warning: Get ready to get triggered.
Deadpool
Why the **** am I on this list?? I will have you know I am Marvel's most popular character, you piece of SHIIIIT!
Deadpool started off as a lame Rob Liefeld-created ripoff of DC's Slade Wilson, aka Deathstroke the Terminator (writer Fabian Nicieza even named Deadpool's true identity Wade Wilson because of this), in X-Force. He had all the usual 90's attributes - mysterious past tied into the Weapon X program (are you sensing a pattern here yet?), as well as the obligatory big swords, big guns, and pouches everywhere. In the mid-90's, first under writer Mark Waid, then Joe Kelly, he started to become a "funny" character - spouting off rapid-fire insults and jokes, talking to himself, and eventually breaking the fourth wall to address the reader with amusing observations.
The only thing more annoying than Deadpool's lame fourth-wall breaking and constant, grating one liners, are the legions of fanboys who think Deadpool is the single greatest comic book character OF ALL-TIME. It's like they've never seen a character in a red costume with black and white eyepieces in his mask hurling wisecracks and one-liners at his enemies. Wait a minute, that sounds kinda familiar, hmmm....
Oh yeah, right, that guy...
Hope you guys enjoyed this shitpost.
Cable
Get used to seeing the name Rob Liefeld on this list. The one-time Levis commercial star and world-renowned worst comic artist in history teamed by with Louis Simonson is March 1990 to create a character that embodies everything that sucked about comic books in the 90's. Glowing eye? Check. Giant shoulder pads? Check. Cybernetic limb? Check. Ridiculously huge guns? Check. Superfluous belt and thigh pouches? Check. Convoluted origin? Oh my God, check.
The only thing more ludicrous than Cable's physical appearance, is his absolutely insane, paradox-riddled existence, which involves cloning, enough time travel to make Doc Brown look like a rank amateur, and - because this was the 90's, and anything "techno" or "cyber" was totally rad - Cable was born with a "techno-organic" virus that threatened to kill him.
Cable has spent the last 25 years time-hopping around the universe, repeatedly failing at the three things he basically exists to do: control/cure his techno-organic virus, rid the world of the villain Apocalypse, and protect the Mutant Messiah, Hope. The virus keeps consuming and/or killing him (don't ask, just go with it), Apocalypse still pops up to do...whatever it is he does, and if my research is accurate, he most recently got his ass handed to him by the Avengers while failing to protect Hope yet again, leaving her in the middle of a war and about to be gobbled up by the Phoenix Force. Nice job, asshat.
Venom
Venom has amassed a legion of rabid fans based solely on the fact that he...looks kinda cool? That really is the main issue with Venom. He's not a character, he's just a visually striking design.
Venom started out when Spidey traveled to Battle-World in the 80's during Secret Wars. As an alien symbiote that attached to Peter and created his spiffy black costume. Soon, Spidey was acting strangely, realising that the symbiote was basically feeding off him. Spidey used church bells and fire to rid himself of the symbiote, which later found another host in Eddie Brock, a disgraced reporter with a pro-wrestling physique and a serious mad-on for Spiderman. Together, Brock and the symbiote form Venom, and set out to make Spider-Man's life a living hell in a couple of truly classic stories.
The problem with Venom is that he was never meant to be anything more than a TEMPORARY antagonist to Spider-Man. But when the initial Symbiote Saga storyline exploded and resonated with fans, Marvel saw dollar signs and decided to keep bringing back Venom over and over again, telling the same story repeatedly because Brock's character was so thin (kinda like Doomsday). When the Spidey vs Venom conflict lost its potential, Marvel turned him into an anti-hero and spun him off into countless other series, all of which were absolute SHIT.
Gambit
Hey bro, sweet trench coat. Remember when those were cool for like, SIX MONTHS in the mid-90's? Now the only people who wear them are subway flashers and fat teenagers who read R.A. Salvatore dark elf novels and listen to a lot of Type O Negative.
Gambit here is undoubtedly one of the most overrated X-Men of all time (Wolverine stills holds the title). He's got all the prerequisite qualities of an abysmal 90's creation: a mysterious, convoluted past involving Mr. Sinister (that guy's ridiculousness can fill an entire post on his own), a horribly designed costume with one of those goofy and unnecessary headpieces that allowed his super-cool 90's bangs to hang over his black and red eyes [OH MY GOD GAMBIT IS SO RAD, LOOK AT THOSE BLACK AND RED EYES], a "totally extreme bro!" Mutant power that allowed him to charge objects with kinetic energy, which he used solely on playing cards - because he's a gambler, you see, Mon Ami?
Also, whenever Gambit is featured heavily in a story, readers are subjected to page after page of irritating phonetic Cajun dialog like this: "HELLO DERE MON CHERE, I AM DE RAGIN CAJUN, AND I GAH-RUN-TEE DAT YOU ARE DE HOTTEST T'ING SINCE MY GRANDADDY'S CRAB JAMBALAYA OH HO HO HO!!" Ugh. It's been over 25 years of this, dude. Please just shut the hell up.
Warning: Get ready to get triggered.
Deadpool
Why the **** am I on this list?? I will have you know I am Marvel's most popular character, you piece of SHIIIIT!
Deadpool started off as a lame Rob Liefeld-created ripoff of DC's Slade Wilson, aka Deathstroke the Terminator (writer Fabian Nicieza even named Deadpool's true identity Wade Wilson because of this), in X-Force. He had all the usual 90's attributes - mysterious past tied into the Weapon X program (are you sensing a pattern here yet?), as well as the obligatory big swords, big guns, and pouches everywhere. In the mid-90's, first under writer Mark Waid, then Joe Kelly, he started to become a "funny" character - spouting off rapid-fire insults and jokes, talking to himself, and eventually breaking the fourth wall to address the reader with amusing observations.
The only thing more annoying than Deadpool's lame fourth-wall breaking and constant, grating one liners, are the legions of fanboys who think Deadpool is the single greatest comic book character OF ALL-TIME. It's like they've never seen a character in a red costume with black and white eyepieces in his mask hurling wisecracks and one-liners at his enemies. Wait a minute, that sounds kinda familiar, hmmm....
Oh yeah, right, that guy...
Hope you guys enjoyed this shitpost.
