Bai Xiaochun vs Naruto Uzumaki

[FloweryAlex]

Bai is Qi Consensation, Naruto is Sasuke retrival arc (and he can use kurama's chakra).

In-character, Bai believes he'll be thrown into the thousand snakes mountain if he fails, Naruto belives Bai is one of Orochimaru's mooks.

Speed Equal, takes place in the valley of the end.

 

[Ricsi-viragosi]

Gonna give reasonings right away, but this ends in inconclusive with Naruto raping Bai.

...

Making a long story short:

Bai spams 1000 paper talismans

Naruto is angered but unable to get to Bai

Naruto clone spans, but it's still slow progress

Naruto uses harem no jutsu to catch him off guard

Bai is horrifiend by this unholy fiends ways, so he decides to respond in kind

Aphrodisiac Pill hits Naruto, with Bai hoping that the clones pounce on eachother

Naruto and clones (hopefully still transformed into Naruko) go beserker and unleash one tail of Kurama's chakra

The clones get past the talismans, and Bai loses his virginity (again, hopefully to Naruko) for the next two days


Whatever the two think after, fighting won't be on their mind.

 

[FloweryAlex]

That is... one hell of an incon.

 

[InfiniteSped]

wtf

 

[Milly_Rocking_Bandit]

What.

 

[Ricsi-viragosi]

Bai would use an aphrodisiac pill first, it drives people completely insane, and his barriers can't hold up against a kurama fueled Naruto.

So yes, most likely this ends in rape.

 

[NeoSuperior]

@Ricsi-viragosi

Wouldn't that be incap victory for Naruto though?

 

[InfiniteSped]

seriously, wtf

 

[Ricsi-viragosi]

What part of raping someone incapacitates them tough?

It's not like Bai is "put in a state in which he can not harm the other fighter" (why does SBA assume the enemy is male?), Naruto would simply be amped enough by the pill and kurama enough to not be killed during those two days.

 

[Ricsi-viragosi]

seriously, wtf

What do you excpect when you put clones against a guy that makes his enemies horny?

 

[InfiniteSped]

dude . . .

 

[ZackMoon1234]

This is one of the weirdest match I've ever seen...

 

[Ricsi-viragosi]

Your incerdulity means nothing in front of an aphrodisiac pill. (Bai had it coming anyways, a guy glared at him and tried to intimidate him so he made him be raped by hundreds of Minotaurs for months)

 

[NeoSuperior]

By the way, is this still within the "all ages" clause or not?

 

[InfiniteSped]

doubt it

 

[InfiniteSped]

Maybe profiles from Er Gen's works were a bad idea, after all

 

[Ricsi-viragosi]

I dunno. Is this?

 

[Ricsi-viragosi]

Maybe profiles from Er Gen's works were a bad idea, after all

ISSTH starts with assploding furries.


Er Gen's work is the will of god.

 

[HST_Master]

@Risci Viragosi

 

[Nepuko]

Wtf

 

[Ricsi-viragosi]

It's a verse where fire is an illusion, gravity is what keeps time going as we perceive it, planets are millions of times larger than the sun, Bai getting a woman that accidentally drugged herself pregnant is romance, and where rape (especially zoophilistic rape) is a common happenence.


Don't you blame me for it.

 

[Zaratthustra]

@Ricsi, Nepuko knows as he's the admin for the wiki of ISSTH and also had read Ergen novels.

But seriously, let's see how far we can go with this match.

 

[Ricsi-viragosi]

Even assuming Aphrodisiac pill and Harem jutsu don't get used, we are left with Bai and Naruto staring at each other with a hundred meter between them, Naruto's clones getting one-shot through sound alone, and the Naruto's unwillingness to use Kurama's power making it impossible for him to get past the barrier.

So Bai shouts and Naruto becomes a mist of blood.

 

[Nepuko]

@Ricsi

Man your posts are really funny XD. And hey, Bai is the Love Saint, don't blame him, blame the girls. Also, as our lord and saviour the great Lord Bai once said (on chapter 1161) :

"You see, I'm really good at picking up girls. So don't hope that it works out for me, Fellow Daoist, hope that it works out for her. After all, I'm the outstanding, attractive one. Yep. Sometimes I actually fall in love with myself."

Also, while I'm not against Ricsi's funny posts, on a more serious note, didn't @Zara made calcs for Qi condensation stuff in ISSTH? Maybe that could help here.

Or we could do it the @Ricsi way. Since Lord Bai is too AWEsome to lose.

 

[Ricsi-viragosi]

Of course, Love Saint Bai is indeed a person to look up to.

He is still nowhere near Master Snortsnort tough. The dude managed to have hundreds of thousands of kids in 3 years, meaning that he impregnated 182 women per day for three years non-stop.


Not sure about condensation calcs, but I know that Bai scales to reducing 5 kiloton people to a bloody haze that even the wind could blow away with a non-qi-enhanced shout.

 

[Nepuko]

Lmao, I guess the disciple surpass the master one day.

....huh. I have no memories of that happening (it's so far back), but damn if that happened .

 

[Zaratthustra]

Master Snortsnort and Li Fugui (Fatty), would be good friends.

 

[Nepuko]

Master Snortsnort and Li Fugui (Fatty), would be good friends.

Indeed XD. Tho, from what I see Snortsnort is still superior to Fatty. (Got battleships full of whamen )

PS : Also, bro, please check Discord man. :/

 

[Ricsi-viragosi]

....huh. I have no memories of that happening (it's so far back), but damn if that happened .

His thunderous voice swept out, filled with sorrow and fury. It became a powerful attack that instantly smashed into the toxic smoke.

In the blink of an eye, the smoke was blasted away, revealing the flying sword and the explosion, as well as the two shocked disciples who had unleashed them, a young man and a young woman from the Pill Stream Sect.

The scorpion surrounding the sword let out a bloodcurdling shriek as it was crushed out of existence as if by a gigantic hand. Cracking sounds rang out from the sword as it was drained of spiritual power, then sent spinning off to the side.

As for the explosions, even their terrifying force was redirected by Bai Xiaochun, sent to land in a completely different direction.

Suddenly, everything seemed to go blurry. Shocking energy radiated out from Bai Xiaochun, who seemed to grow taller as he spoke out in a powerful voice.

...

The female disciple was trembling violently, blood oozing out her eyes, ears, and nose. As she lurched away from Bai Xiaochun, it quickly became apparent that she couldn't endure the force that was pushing against her. She let out a bloodcurdling scream as first her eyes exploded, then her head, and then her entire body!

She instantly transformed into a haze of blood that was swept away by the wind.

"No!!" screamed the male disciple. Blood began to pour out of his mouth, and he was shaking violently. His world began to turn black, and he let out an agonized shriek. Never in his darkest nightmares could he have imagined that he would provoke... someone as indescribably heaven-defying as this.

 

[Nepuko]

Oh yea, THAT one! That scene was quite impactful, I remember now.