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Cranky Kongs First Key Revisions

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Dust_Collector

Dust_Collector

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Cranky Kong needs a overhaul of his profile in general but for now I wanna focus on his first key and list why his current stats make no god damn sense.

Current Stats and their issues:​

  • Attack Potency: Building level (Collapsed a 25m structure by just jumping, could easily one-shot Mario at his beginnings)
    • First feat has no calculation and while I may not be a calc expert I doubt the damage he's shown doing in that cutscene is getting results that high anyway, but really it's the second feat that's really funny because he's building level for easily one-shotting... someone who's multi-continent level. Mario has no 8-C tiering on his profile and we can't really say Mario being "at his beginnings" means much either since Mario as a baby is comparable to his current adult self so it's not like Mario is canonically significantly weaker here than he is in Mario 64 or Bowser's Inside Story or whatever else.
  • Speed: Superhuman
    • This just doesn't have any justification at all (And neither does his second key)
  • Lifting Strength: Class 25 (He should be comparable to Chunky Kong. Could effortlessly pick up granite in his prime.)
    • There are no scans or justification for him being comparable to Chunky in the first place, and even then Chunky has Class Y lifting strength which is, y'know, just a lil bit higher than Class 25.
  • Durability: Building level (Survived a fall of 100 meters)
    • The only justification for his building level durability is a calculation where the highest result is... 1,500 times lower than baseline building level. Truly amazing.
So yeah pretty bad as you can see, and personally I'm also extremely offended at the complete lack of acknowledgement of Donkey Kong '94 for the GB.

Proposal for new stats:​

Attack Potency: Multi-Continent level (Can throw barrels with enough force to harm Mario, his mere stomps can stun Mario and daze him for a brief moment and he is able to easily overpower him should he get too close) - All comes from from DK '94.

Speed: Massively FTL+ (Fast enough to catch Mario if he gets too close) - Also from DK '94

Lifting Strength: Class Y (Portrayed as physically stronger than Mario)

Striking Strength: Multi-Continent level (Sent Mario flying with a kick and made him run away in fear) - As seen in DK Jr.

Durability: Multi-Continent level (Can withstand the force of Marios own barrel throws) - DK '94 once again

Stamina: Superhuman (Fought and took several blows from Mario in battle and immediately afterwards continued to assault him as the two of them climbed to the top of Donkey Kongs tower, ultimately engaging in another prolonged battle without appearing fatigued) - DK '94 (Seriously why did the profile ignore this game)

That's about it. Like I said earlier his profile in general needs some serious updating (His second key is also pretty bad but at least the stats are mostly right) but for now I wanted to just get this out of way so his stats make sense and also so I can use statements from the time DK '94 came out to further push the Bowser > Kong Family agenda 🤫 , I'm pretty sure there's also some offhand statements Cranky himself makes about his prime that can be used but these would be the main justifications to show off his superiority to Mario specifically.

Also while we're add it we should change the portrait image for his young self, atm it's just his sprite from the original arcade game despite him having artwork from said game and also artwork for his appearance in DK '94 that we should use instead.
 
There's a lot of dispute on Cranky actually being the OG DK which in turn has a lot of for the grain and against the grain, but unless Jumpman is also Mario's Dad, I find Modern DK being DK the 3rd to be questionable.

Anyway, OP looks good.
 
Dust_Collector said:
What if I told you that I was saying that as a ruse to hide the fact I will be pushing the Stanely > Kong Family agenda instead?
Click to expand...
its-peak-old-man.gif


You might call me a poser, but i didn't know that DK '94 was a thing until now

Anyway, i agree with the thread
 
Dust_Collector said:
lol who's out here disputing Cranky being the OG? Bananza even reconfirms he's the same guy as seen in the arcade games.
Click to expand...
If I remember correctly, doesn't the Bananza postgame also say that Lady was Pauline's grandmother or something like that (the woman you rescue in the Original DK)?
 
If I recall correctly, Kongs (That's what the official race term for DK is) aren't actually normal Primates, but primates with more human level intellect. And they seem to mix various primate species together and are just variations of "Kongs." And I do not think Nintendo treats them as having shorter life expectancies compared to humans. So Jumpman is actually Mario and Luigi's Grandfather lol.
 
Sparkive said:
If I remember correctly, doesn't the Bananza postgame also say that Lady was Pauline's grandmother or something like that (the woman you rescue in the Original DK)?
Click to expand...
Idk if anything confirms that, but one of the palette swaps for the Lady Dress (where Pauline basically cosplays Lady) is called the Family Dress (the other one is called the Arcade Dress). The Family Dress is also the only one of the three that doesn’t give Pauline a wig, if that means anything.
 
Guys let's not use fan theories that try and justify why it makes sense in lore / timeline that Pauline is 13 in Bananza, right now the official stance from Nintendo is that the Mario we see in the classic DK arcade games and the 94 GB game is the same guy we play as in the rest of series, let's not use stuff like "jumpman" being the current Mario's grandfather which is just headcanon unless Nintendo changes their minds in the future. Paulines grandmother isn't ever said to be, or even implied to be, the original Pauline from the arcade and gameboy titles, her identity in the game goes no further than just being her grandma.

Like this is the same franchise that addresses the fact that the baby characters are playing sports with their adult selves by saying, and I quote, "try to ignore the temporal paradox", Pauline randomly becoming a child for one game doesn't mean much in a series like this.
 
While I do personally believe that Mario cast should be treated as growing stronger over time as per the RPG games, and that the Baby Bros. are more consistently treated as being weaker physically, this should be a good compromise for the time being as it really doesn’t make sense to reference a key for a character that simply doesn’t exist (yet…)
 
bump

Also just a minor thing, so minor I'm not gonna bother editing it into the OP, but his first key will also have the "(Donkey Kong Arcade)" part of the name removed since his apperances extend beyond just the original game, just should leave it as young
 
DarkDragonMedeus said:
If I recall correctly, Kongs (That's what the official race term for DK is) aren't actually normal Primates, but primates with more human level intellect. And they seem to mix various primate species together and are just variations of "Kongs." And I do not think Nintendo treats them as having shorter life expectancies compared to humans. So Jumpman is actually Mario and Luigi's Grandfather lol.
Click to expand...
I don't think they have lower life expectancies but nintendo has given age skips on completely random characters that they want to do, cranky kong is a prime example of this as he was at is prime in the arcade days and is clearly very old now, with his wife wrinkly kong literally dying of age as the games went on. and mario isnt notably older then he was in the arcade games, theres also tiny kong going from their 64 to modern design, Kid who gets visibly older along with Sherry from a 5 year timeskip from mario golf (GBC) to Mario Golf Advanced Tour. There is no evidence for jumpman being a seprate character nor does anything ever support that as of now, and would contradict a multitude of games, references, and connection to pauline and mario being the ones being part of with the DK incidents most notably in odyssey. IIrc theres even a bananza interview stating that its STILL the same mario from the arcade games to now. There is no current explanation on this inconsistency and the only thing we can do (and what I personally would do) is wait for future titles and statements regarding the matter rather then fan speculative theories. If not, this game is just the definitive showing nintendo doesnt care about the lore and continuity like that anymore, and can do whatever role they want for the sake of the game.
 
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AlloyAmi said:
I don't think they have lower life expectancies but nintendo has given age skips on completely random characters that they want to do, cranky kong is a prime example of this as he was at is prime in the arcade days and is clearly very old now, with his wife wrinkly kong literally dying of age as the games went on. and mario isnt notably older then he was in the arcade games, theres also tiny kong going from their 64 to modern design, Kid who gets visibly older along with Sherry from a 5 year timeskip from mario golf (GBC) to Mario Golf Advanced Tour. There is no evidence for jumpman being a seprate character nor does anything ever support that as of now, and would contradict a multitude of games, references, and connection to pauline and mario being the ones being part of with the DK incidents most notably in odyssey. IIrc theres even a bananza interview stating that its STILL the same mario from the arcade games to now. There is no current explanation on this inconsistency and the only thing we can do (and what I personally would do) is wait for future titles and statements regarding the matter rather then fan speculative theories. If not, this game is just the definitive showing nintendo doesnt care about the lore and continuity like that anymore, and can do whatever role they want for the sake of the game.
Click to expand...
That would still not make sense and the gaps would be too big. Going off their Arcade games, DK Sr is a full grown ape while DK Jr is just a baby. Then going off ancestor/grandfather theory, (Where Cranky is the OG DK and Grandfather of modern DK despite DK III being a full grown ape). That would imply DKC is at least 30 years after the Arcade games going off how old male Gorillas need to be to reproduce. And Mario and a DK are 2 of the 7 star children (Which have people question is it DK or Cranky who is the Starchild). Though, not sure when Mario and Luigi's official age being 24 took place. But this is all off topic as ZespeonGalaxy said.
 
DarkDragonMedeus said:
That would still not make sense and the gaps would be too big. Going off their Arcade games, DK Sr is a full grown ape while DK Jr is just a baby. Then going off ancestor/grandfather theory, (Where Cranky is the OG DK and Grandfather of modern DK despite DK III being a full grown ape). That would imply DKC is at least 30 years after the Arcade games going off how old male Gorillas need to be to reproduce. And Mario and a DK are 2 of the 7 star children (Which have people question is it DK or Cranky who is the Starchild). Though, not sure when Mario and Luigi's official age being 24 took place. But this is all off topic as ZespeonGalaxy said.
Click to expand...
btw just to clarity, i was not arguing for kongs aging faster, i just wanted to say nintendo likely doesnt really care about every single character having a consistent age among each other and can change specific characters as they want at whatever time. character ages not making sense to be something specific is honestly a rather common trope like characters who have stagnant ages despite canonical years passing for the sake of keeping them the same, and in this case specific characters are changed to do something different. with them specifically
 
Yeah the discussion about the timeline is really off topic, like Alloy said Nintendo doesn't really care about character ages and such and will change things for the sake of what they think fits for any given game. Hell even in just the DK games Tiny Kong aged into a teenager after DK64 while Dixie is still the same as she was in DKC2 despite being Tinys older sister. As of this moment Cranky is still offically the original DK and the Mario he fought is still the same guy as the rest of the franchise, they've confirmed this multiple times (Including confirming it even after Yoshi's Island DS came out) and as of right now haven't changed their stance about that.

Let's just focus on updating his stats as the OG DK so they actually make sense.
 
I agree with the proposal, also the people using theories and heacanons to dismiss actual canon are being dumb
 
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