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Skitzo vs The Thing

Christian_Higdon

Christian_Higdon

Joke Battles
Thread Moderator
28,211
1,744
Speed Equalized.

Both are 9-B.

The Thing has already assimilated a full-grown man.

In-character for both.

Battle is in Africa.

Win via KO, incap or death.

Who wins?

Thing: 4

Skitzo: 2

Both of them die: 1

SkitzoKillerMode rendered
Norrisworm-maniacs3-2000
 
The Thing tries to get close, Skit melts or teleports. He also can create hellfire to burn the Thing, or he can just absorb the thing. The Thing will try to get close, and Skit could keep the distance by teleporting, using fire, and using weapons with a larger range than TT, or if TT ever tries to get close to assimilate Skit "Alex Mercer"s TT.
 
But...wouldn't the first thing Skitzo try to do be stabbing or clawing at The Thing? Which it can then strike with its tentacle innards and start the conversion process via contact?
 
So? The Things prosses seems slower than that of Skitzo who would likely just absorb the Thing if it ever came to that. Skitzo is inconsistant with what he does first, but even if he does stab the Thing, it feels pain as shown when it is hit by the fire ax. Skitzo can easily chop off limbs made by the thing, and will prompltly stop doing so even if TT starts splitting. I mean, Skit simply has more ways to win compared to TT.
 
Pretty sure he is supposably biological, but often becomes a liquid/ink-like substance. Not sure. He is said to be a Sun Bear so pretty sure he is a bio being.
 
Oh shit! I just noticed this fight happens in Africa. The Thing now has access to all animal life in the immediate vicinity. If assimilation doesn't work the Thing will retreat and then Assimilate basically whatever country it's in in an attempt to overrun Skitzo.
 
Africa is a very large place and assuming TT is near enough to animals and would be given the chance to run is very...strange given they want to kill each other. Plus if TT gets away, Skit wins via TT commiting self BFR. As I stated before Skit would want to kill TT as soon as possible, so burning, slashing, and absorbing.
 
BFR victory is a week and it takes less then an hour to assimilate a fully grown man. The Thing could easily turn into small flying creatures and spread out to a huge area.
 
BFR is 24 hours

If he could get to them. Again, TT for 1) wouldn't run away right off the bat 2) you are assuming it is in a savanna and not something like an up-to-date city 3) once again Skitzo wouldn't allow the TT to leave and would just teleport around to keep it from leaving.
 
HeadlessKramerGeoff777 said:
BFR is 24 hours
Click to expand...
Not according to the BFR page. No, the Thing won't just turn tail and run, but if the assimilation attempt is a bust there is no reason it wouldn't attempt to back off and recoup. Is Skitzo's absorbtion instant? If not then the Thing drops whatever bit is being absorbed and backs off. Is Skitzo gonna care about little bit that get chopped or droped off? Probably not without prior knowledge. I was assuming it was a savanna but a city is an even better location then the savanna because everything's packed in even closer, makeing it easier and faster for the Thing to find new mass. As a whole the Thing is just as smart as any other human and while smaller portions are less and less intelligent they default to intsincts which would be to find more assimilatable mass.
 
I am saying for a victory, not the time of all BFRs. Iirc it was changed on the SBA page but I could be wrong.

"No, the Thing won't just turn tail and run, but if the assimilation attempt is a bust there is no reason it wouldn't attempt to back off and recoup. Is Skitzo's absorbtion instant? If not then the Thing drops whatever bit is being absorbed and backs off. Is Skitzo gonna care about little bit that get chopped or droped off? Probably not without prior knowledge. I was assuming it was a savanna but a city is an even better location then the savanna because everything's packed in even closer, makeing it easier and faster for the Thing to find new mass. As a whole the Thing is just as smart as any other human and while smaller portions are less and less intelligent they default to intsincts which would be to find more assimilatable mass."

It is similar to Alex Mercer's, were the victim is basically sucked into/yanked into him. It is a very quick prossess so I doubt TT will have time to move out from Skit. Also, again, Skit can use Hellfire and just burn TT to death, and chopping TT, while not killing him, would still hurt it. As I said iirc, Skit's starting move is inconsistant.
 
  • It is similar to Alex Mercer's, were the victim is basically sucked into/yanked into him. It is a very quick prossess so I doubt TT will have time to move out from Skit.
I don't know how fast Alex's absorbtion is but if it's longer then a second the Thing will likely be able to drop whatever part is being absorbed faster. The Thing isn't a singular entity that can detach pieces of itself, but a colony of single-celled orginaisims capable of forming more complex organisims. Every individual cell can act with full autonomy in order to survive, so it's not like someone noticing their in trouble and choping of an arm, but the cells recognizing a problem and detaching at the site.

  • Skit can use Hellfire and just burn TT to death
Yeah that's Skitzo's best option. The Thing's only defence is not being ingulfed in Hellfire. The issue though would be Skitzo's inconsistancy. He has no standard first move, so you say, so blasting the Thing with Hellfire is just as likely as not. And without prior knowlede Skitzo is just as likely to jump in and stab it

  • and chopping TT, while not killing him, would still hurt it
This is a none factor. While yes the Thing could form pain receptors the infromation is redundant as it would be well aware of itself on a cellular level. The Thing won't be paralyzed by pain and even if it could be, it's tanked worse then a little choping.
 
It wouldn't take that long, and Skit could just do it again till TT is gone.

So we agree on this.

Only for momentary stunning, not for killing. It caused TT in the prequal to be stunned in pain when it was hit with an ax iirc.
 
If it takes longer then a second then the Thing detches itself, books it in the opposite direction and looks for either a weapon or more mass to assimilate. Remember that Speed is Equalized. If the Thing starts running, then Skitzo can't catch up to it untill the Thing stops moving.

Yes, Hellfire will kill the Thing. The problems are Skitzo's inconsistancy and that without prior knowledge he's unlikely to get every single cell.

No. Stunning is not a factor. You are focusing on a singular moment which contridicts everyother time the Thing takes bullets and other attacks without flinching.
 
The thing has never shown being able to split that quickly, but even so I need only say one word "Teleportation". TT isn't going anywhere.

True, still would at the very least greatly weaken and limit TT.

It has been shown to get stunned by fire and other weapons as well though.
 
Still, even if showings aren't amazingly fast, the basic mechanics mentioned above aren't wrong. I'll admit, I forgot about Teleportation. That will limit the Things escape attempts. Small bits falling off the Thing likely won't be on Skitzo's raidar.

Sure.

Yes, the Thing has been stunned by large gouts of flame blasting it. Fire, the best weapon to kill it.
 
If they start moving they will, plus the thing I assume is starting off as a large humanoid, so Skit will absorb at least a large part of it, if not all of it from the start. The absorbtion literally pulls the thing into Skit in under few seconds.
 
And the Thing will be pulling itself out while weakening sections meaning Skitzo will be tearing of whatever is being absorbed. Also remember that every cell can act indepdantly so every drop of blood will be attempting to find new creatures to assimilate. Is Skitzo's absorbtion passive or activated?
 
I've seen it now, and it's definitely activated.

Also, I'm gonna go have nightmares for a while now.
 
Starter Pack said:
I've seen it now, and it's definitely activated.

Also, I'm gonna go have nightmares for a while now.
Click to expand...
Then without prior knowledge blood splatters are leathal to Skitzo. I'll tenetively vote Thing most due to Skitzo's inconsistance and no prior knowledge.
 
And I am voting Skitzo for having the more than one way to defeat TT, and though he is inconsitent, he will still be able to take the win since he has more than one ability to harm and defeat TT.
 
It isn't really used for combat so I didn't bring it up. Still hellfire and absorbtion I think allows Skit to take this. RW isn't nessisary. Besides it only causes the world around him to become bloody or damaged, worn and digrateted.
 
HeadlessKramerGeoff777 said:
only causes the world around him to become bloody or damaged, worn and digrateted.
Click to expand...
Not really? Unless it fully rots things around him including living things and what not it kinda worthless.
 
Assimilation isn't always obvious. Any blood splatters getting on Skitzo will be enough to begin the assimilation process, and unless Skitzo has prior knowledge, is aware of itself on a cellular or lower level or consistantly absorbs all bio-matter the touches him this is a death sentence. Honestly Skitzo's inconsistancy is the biggest factor here. If he had a consistant opening move this fight would be much easier to conclude.
 
I'm actually gone vote for The Thing for Apies' reasons. Skitzo's use of hax is way too inconsistent for it to be used effectively before it gets Thingafied.
 
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